AN: Hi, y'all. I have been lurking the Bamon fandom lately and I must say still, I can never get enough of them! They are just SO HOT. My apologies to all if I would write them out of character. I admit I am new to Bamon love. Anyway, I hope some of you will find time to read it and review. Btw, this will be two shots only. :D


Damon drove alone and yet, he just had to roll his eyes every time he remembered why he was driving around town for what seemed like the umpteenth time. He lost count of how many turns he made, and he just knew he could never make another grand entrance with his badass sports car because the townspeople were now too familiarized of its presence. And he swore, at that exact moment, that though Elena was 'deep' and 'beautiful' and 'all things nice (unKatherine-like to be exact)', she, too fell into the 'stupidest people I've met category'.

Damon Salvatore really didn't just give into people's demands, not even to people who looked like the bitch he so earnestly 'loved'. But silly mortal had to be daring enough to challenge him. Again, he rolls his eyes in memory. Of all the dares in his life, this has got to be the most annoying and most embarrassing thing to be involved with.

"I could do it, you know, give you anything you want," Damon said matter-of-factly an hour ago. He recalls that he meant it and he did not. He meant that he could really just give her anything she wants because he really can. But he did not, simply because he did not really want to. He didn't mean it that way. Besides, she was his brother's girlfriend, for crying out loud. Sure, yes, she physically resembled Katherine, but that didn't mean that his feelings were the same as well. He wasn't that stupid. Honestly, he only flirted with her because it got a rise out of Stefan. But he wouldn't tell anyone that. Ever.

"Bring me one thing that makes us both happy."

"Is that all?" Damon asked, his tone dripping with confidence –hiding the loud chugging of wheels working in his skull. "Well... My bed is immobile upstairs but I bet that we could get it moving…"

Elena raised a brow and clicked her tongue. He could tell she was enjoying this. "Do I smell defeat, Salvatore?"

Next thing they knew, he was gone and thus, him driving around town, his circling car mimicking the thoughts in his mind, over and over, thinking, thinking… Surely, he couldn't just bring Stefan (initial thing they had in common) to her –that would just be too much. Though Katherine was a pain in the ass and he was a stubborn bastard, he was actually man enough to say in a sunny day that yes, he had been played. But admitting in such a stupid, twisted way that Stefan actually made him happy? Nope. Not a chance. Perhaps on a day when he feels less attractive –oh wait, that will NEVER happen.

So what made Elena happy that made him happy that will not make him a sissy? And now he was wasting gas as he tried to brainstorm out of Elena's pathetic excuse to flirt back at him. He took the car to buy a box of condoms just for laughs (and that bang up return with his car as he orchestrated it earlier in his thoughts), but decided against it. A little part of him was cautious about flirting with Elena, because she just might give in to him, poor girl. As much as he could not blame her attempts of being the monogamous girlfriend, he lived long enough to know humans could only tolerate such temptation before giving in. Her pretty face should be a good enough reminder that she had major tendencies for a Katherine performance encore.

Retrace your steps, hot stuff, he reminded himself. Think. When was the last time he got acquainted with happiness? What made him really happy? The kind of happy that didn't involve the death of mortals –the kind of happy that feeble humans like Elena feel? Nothing so far, gorgeous, we're not that shallow, his brain answered him frankly.

Seeing that his northern brain gave him zero progress, maybe he should let his penis do the thinking. Who was the last person that got you really horny other than the last woman you screwed with and then fed on…

Victory is nigh, he felt it, as he spotted a blue Prius parked in front of the pharmacy store. Checking the license plate, it confirmed her location –she was home alone. A smirk on his face, he thought, this is going to be easy.


Or not, Damon thought with much chagrin less than 5 minutes later as he stood on Bonnie's porch. The witch slammed the door on his face so hard, hard enough to give him goosebumps, hard enough to rattle his body to be turned on by her anger. It only made the grin on his face wider, making him look like an idiot. Funny that he almost forgot how interested this little witch made him. Maybe because he didn't want to give her too much credit. Besides, he couldn't play the 'seductive brother' role so well if word came out that he was really after the best friend.

Elena and Bonnie were sort of drifting apart because of so many sappy reasons (many of which he did not care about), but he knew as much as Bonnie that the falling out had to happen if they were going to keep their guilty pleasures secret. This meant that Bonnie blamed Damon even more for making her like him more than she should. Yes, humans loved sin. He was sin and Bonnie was one human witch –the most delicious one, to be precise.

"How about we tell Elena that we're together now?" He flashed her one smile that exuded all the promise of sexy, steamy sex. With lots and lots of foreplay just for her. He liked this witch too much, he realized, and he will like her even more if she stepped away from her house, away from the door where a barrier set them apart, so he can kidnap her and bring her to Elena.

Bonnie's eyes were wide as saucers. "Now? Are you crazy!"

Ignoring Bonnie's surprise, he just nodded, still giving her that sexed up smile. This was such a brilliant plan, he noted with much glee. He'd be hitting two birds with one stone. Actually, he'd be hitting, like, five birds: One, winning Elena's childish dare. Two, put Bonnie's mind at ease about his loyalty (and hopefully, this will win him that invitation to her home –so make that a pregnant bird number two). Three, just show Elena in her face that he wasn't really head over heels for her; screw the acting because… four, Bonnie will give him a repeat of last night, knowing he'll get a prize for doing previous tasks and who was he to deny her who she wants (yes, he was an easy lay for her)? And lastly, five, be a good brother and put Stefan at ease because of reason number three. PERFECT. "So… let's go?"

"Uhh, reality check, Damon. We are not together!"

"But, Bonnie," Damon pouted at her. "You gave me your virginity."

Hence, the smell of wood. Damon rubbed a hand over his face. Damn door should be terrorized once he gets himself an invite. Just you wait…


AN: Thanks for reading! Review - Bamon love! xD