This is a separate chapter from Cullen's girl.
Hey guys, I know you all want to crucify me for the lack of update, and I'm really sorry, but life gets in the way, and in the summer it's even more true for me. So I hope you'll follow the story anyway and I love you all.
I summoned all the courage I could muster. I needed to make her world right again, but didn't know where to begin. I wasn't going to pretend I didn't love her, but I needed to say something to soothe her pain.
"About that morning... I was a total jerk, and I shouldn't have... kissed you. I have regretted it every second we've been apart. Please forgive me." There, it was as close from the truth as I could get without lying directly to her face. I did regret forcing myself on her, even if the selfish part of myself had loved every second of it.
A lone tear ran down her cheek, making my heart stop. Why was she sad? Didn't she want things to go back to how they were? Was it so obvious that I would fail at being her friend? My heart ached when I saw that I had hurt her, but how had I done it? I'd seen in her eyes not a minute ago that she was preparing herself to reject me again.
"What's going on?" I asked, my heart falling in my chest, preparing for the worse. Maybe she couldn't forgive me.
"It's nothing," she whispered, and her eyes met mine briefly. What?
"Bella." I tightened my hold on her to catch a glimpse of her eyes again. They never lied. I had seen something in them a second ago, something I dared not to hope for. She fought against me, fuelling my need to make her look at me. Her resolve was no match for mine. Frustrated, I raised her face gently to mine, but she still denied me her eyes.
"Bells, look at me."
She sighed, but gave up the fight and her gaze met mine. She was ashamed. *Of what?* I asked myself. She was hurt, and scared, and totally freaked out. I was practically losing my mind, trying to solve the mystery of her reaction, when she whimpered and bit her bottom lip, her gaze falling almost imperceptibly on my lips for a fleeting moment, but I saw it. My heart started racing in my chest as the impossible truth entered my mind.
She didn't want me to regret it. My heart stopped. What did that mean? Did she want it to happen again? Did she want something more? Something I was so willing to give her? I drove myself crazy with those questions, never finding a clear answer, but my love for her was so blinding that I decided to take the leap again. Damn the consequences.
I groaned out loud, unable to keep the turmoil within. I pressed my lips tentatively on hers, testing my theory. Maybe I was just seeing what I wanted to see; maybe I was wrong, but her lips stated moving against mine, firm and demanding, fogging my brain, obliterating every else. The feeling was simply... indescribable. I couldn't resist it, and I reveled in the moment, tasting and biting every inch of skin I could reach. My hands trailed over her body, and my need increased.
It ended too soon, and I was left craving for more as she struggled to find her breath. I looked at her perfect face and realized I was in trouble.
"You just said you regretted doing that in the first place." She punched me.
She still didn't understand. I feigned to be hurt by her small fist like I'd done so many times. And like every one of those times, her features became worried and apologetic.
"Oh my god, Edward, I didn't want to hurt –"
I grinned at her. "You fall for it every time," I said, staring deep into her chocolate eyes. We talked silently, just looking at each other, and she told me everything I'd missed since I'd been gone.
"I was so lost without you." Her voice made me tremble.
"God, I missed you so much," I breathed, unable to hide how shaken I was.
She shivered in my arms and I realized we were outside. I led her inside slowly, my lips never willing to leave her skin. Ever.
It felt like the most wonderful dream. I was so afraid to wake up and find out it wasn't real. We stripped each other of our coats and kicked our shoes out of the way.
Feeling my desire rise at an alarming pace, I pressed her against the wall and kissed her neck, not wanting to lose the elation coursing through my veins. My self-control was growing thinner and thinner. For so long, I had thought I'd never be allowed to do this. It felt forbidden, sinful even, but fucking wonderful. I growled when her hands reached under my shirt, but I stopped her with my own hands before this could escalate to something she might regret.
She scoffed at me and pushed my hand away, continuing her maddening game, trailing down towards my navel, and beyond... My eyes widened and I looked at her. Her eyes were wild, filled with a lust I'd never seen, making my knees buckle. She was defying me to stop this, to say this wasn't right. But it so was. I caught her lips again, letting my hands roam free, stroking her sides before lingering on the sides of her breast. *Damn dress,* I thought, and just as if I'd spoken out loud, Bella turned and silently asked me to unzip her. My hands were shaking as I pulled the small piece of metal down. I had helped her do this many times before, but this time I was so excited by the prospect of seeing her skin, it felt like a completely new experience. I wanted to savor this experience, the look and feel of her smooth shoulder blades and back, and so pulled the zipper down slowly She moaned in impatience as I slid it down inch by inch, feeling her soft skin under my fingertips. When the dress was open enough for her to slip through, she turned back to face me, grabbing my face and pulling me down for another kiss. Like the temptress she was, she worked her way out of her dress in less than a second, leaving me painfully hard in my jeans, as I took in the sight of her in just a lacy black bra and matching panties. I raised an eyebrow at her. This wasn't the usual kind of thing she wore underneath her clothes. Bella was usually a creature of comfort, not seduction.
She looked at me with feigned seriousness. "Don't you know God forbids Alice Cullen to design normal underwear?" she asked, and we both giggled, returning to our previous occupations. She helped me out of my shirt, and I almost died when she undid my pants. *Oh god, oh god, she's undressing me, I have to keep control, I have to slow things down,* I thought, but as her hand grazed me, pulling down my pants and my boxers at the same time, I knew I was gone for. She seemed to freeze at the sight of my throbbing erection. I didn't know if she was disgusted, entranced, unsure, or what, but, she didn't hesitate long, and we made our way to the bed, kicking our clothes away as we went. She was perfection. I lowered her down on the silky sheets, the anticipation at his peak, my thoughts impossible to gather anymore.
I caressed her breast over her bra and we both moaned in frustration. It wasn't enough. I unhooked the bra and tossed it aside, greedily turning my attention back to her perfect, round breast.
She made the most amazing sound and I thought I'd lose my mind.
"God," she moaned, and I started rubbing myself against her, unable to resist anymore. She was mesmerizing, I couldn't stop. Her skin tasted so good, and was so soft. My hands went to her other breast, massaging it slowly. She arched into me and I groaned. When her hand reached out and grabbed me, I froze. What was I doing? I had to stop this now, otherwise I wouldn't be able to stop. I moaned as I looked at her creamy thighs spread out under me, her heat only covered by a frail piece of lace. It would be so easy to discard it. I wanted to make love to her until I had no breath left in me. But it was too soon...right? I searched her eyes for any sign of doubt. To my surprise, I found none, but I still had to ask.
"Bella, we should wait." I craved her, needed her more than I'd ever wanted anything, but she had to be sure. After tonight, there would be no going back.
"We'Ve waited for 22 years." My heart flew at how true it sounded, and then I knew she was exactly where I was: irrevocably in love. We both grabbed her lacy underwear at the same time and brought it down hurriedly.
I positioned myself at her warm entrance and it took every bit of my will power to not just plunge into her. I locked my eyes with hers to keep me sane. She urged me on. I was silently telling her it would hurt. She bit her lip and nodded as I started burying myself into her. She winced when I lost control and entered the last couple of inches too quickly. I growled. We fit perfectly. She was perfect: so wet and tight I almost came right then. My most possessive side rejoiced that I was the first. *And only,* I promised myself.
I gave her time to adjust to my size. When I felt her relax, I knew she was ready for the next thrust. I pulled out ready to try again I pulled out of her and plunged into her a little more quickly this time. She let out a moan. I felt myself getting even harder, and started a slow rhythm, never breaking eye contact. She started raising her hips to meet my thrusts, and I hissed.
"Fuck, Bells." She smiled wickedly, and God I wanted to erase that smug smile. She felt like she had power over me. I reached between our bodies and found her sensitive spot. I started to rub it. She gasped and her legs spread even wider. I continued my ministration until she was writing and screaming in pleasure.
"Please, Edward." She begged for release, and I couldn't wait anymore. The sound of my name falling from her lips like a prayer had me undone. I let go of the careful rhythm I'd set, and lost myself in the feelings of our bodies rocking together. We came together, screaming each other's name. I couldn't believe I'd had sex so many times; never knowing it could be like this. This was the most powerful moment of my life. I let myself fall on top her. Our ragged breathing slowly steadied, and I studied her satisfied face, making sure she was okay. She smiled radiantly at me and my heart flew.
I let myself fall on the bed beside her and brought her closer to me, looking deep into her eyes. She was still fighting to calm her breathing.
Then, unexpectedly, she groaned, "Are you kidding me?" She hid her face in a pillow for a second, at then looked back at me. I looked back quizzically.
"This…" She gestured to our bodies.
A mischievous grin appeared on her face. "We lost months, hell, years of this," she chuckled, placing a kiss on my chest. The motion the motion made the covers slide off her chest, making my head spin.
"Better start making up for it now then…" I trailed off suggestively, kissing my way down her body, never wanting to leave that bed again. Well, not for now anyway.
Reviews are like naked Edward…