Quinn kept drifting in and out of sleep that night. She felt Santana get off the bed and Quinn got very cold. She had never bothered to get under the covers and now that the Latina had gotten up, Quinn was quite chilly. She could hear S and B talking, but she couldn't make out what they were saying. She heard the bedroom door close and she snuggled closer to Brittany trying to get warm again. Quinn had finally fallen back to sleep when she heard the bedroom door open again and she felt the bed sink down as Santana climbed back in. She felt Santana wrap her arm back around Quinn. Quinn loved the warmth and she snuggled closer to the brunette. She felt the bed shift again as Brittany got out of bed and she felt the bed sink again as Brittany go back in, this time on the other side of Santana. She knew that Brittany couldn't sleep well unless she was snuggled up with her girlfriend. Quinn shifted again so that she could be closer to the Latina and finally was able to fall asleep again.
Quinn woke up again and it was daylight outside. She lifted her head up to look at the clock on Brittany's nightstand. 6:47 am. She groaned and laid back down. Her head was throbbing thanks to all the crying from the night before. She lifted her head up again to look over and Brittany and Santana. Brittany was on her side curled up next to her girlfriend with her arm wrapped around the Latina. Santana was on her stomach with her arm around Quinn but her head was turned into Brittany's hair.
Quinn laid her head back down again and started to replay the events in her head from the night before. She felt a tug at her stomach and thought it was from her guilt from everything that happened. It took her a second before she realized it was the baby. She tore towards Brittany's bathroom and made it to the toilet just in time. She heaved until her stomach was completely empty. Quinn could feel the tears in her eyes and she learned over to retch again. She felt a hand on her back and looked over to see Santana. Quinn leaned back against the wall and Santana wiped the blonde's hair out of her face. The Latina flushed the toilet and sprayed the air freshener she had under the sink.
"You need to brush your teeth, Q," Santana said as she grabbed Quinn's toothbrush out of the holder. All 3 girls had a toothbrush at each of their houses since they spent so many weekends together. She put toothpaste on it and handed it to Quinn. The blonde got up long enough to rinse her mouth and then she sat back down against the wall. Santana sat down next to her friend and grabbed her hand. She laced their fingers.
"Alright, Q, tell me what happened?"
"I can't tell you. The stuff we fought about is information I can't tell you." Quinn looked down at her hands.
"Why not, Quinn? You can tell me anything."
"I know that, but this stuff isn't my secret to tell. Besides, I don't want you using anything against Rachel. I know you and I know the second she does something to piss you off, you will spread it around the school." Quinn looked Santana directly in the eyes as she said this.
"How about a secret for a secret?" Santana bargained. "I'll tell you one of my secrets and if I mention the Rachel thing to anyone, you can tell my secret. Deal?"
"Yeah, deal. What's your secret?" Quinn asked as the girls shook hands.
"I slept with Puck."
"Yeah he has slept with just about everyone, why is that such a big secret?" Quinn asked, not understanding where this was leading.
"I was already with Brittany." Quinn could feel her eyes growing bigger.
"What? When? How? I've never seen anyone more in love then you are with her." Quinn said.
"It was last year after B and I got in that huge fight."
"Yeah, I remember that fight. I've never seen you guys that hurt and angry." Quinn got up to get a glass of water, sat back down and re-laced her fingers with her friends.
"Yeah, it was awful. Anyway, I ran into Puck that night. I was trashed and upset and he was there. The next thing I knew he was inside of me. I don't really remember much about that night, but I do remember he wasn't very good." Quinn smiled as Santana said this. "He was very selfish in the bed department. It didn't really matter though; all I wanted was Brittany back. Anyway, we made up and I never mentioned the Puck thing because I didn't want to lose her again. I don't think I could handle that."
"Don't worry, S, your secret is safe with me." Quinn squeezed the Latina's hand and she swore she could see tears in her friend's eyes.
"Alright, Q, it's your turn to talk. Tell me what happened."
Quinn wasn't sure whether she should be telling Santana Rachel's secrets but she needed to talk to someone.
"She's been hurting herself." Quinn couldn't meet Santana's eyes.
"What do you mean? What is she doing?"
"Cutting. She has been cutting herself."
"Quinn, honey, look at me." Santana lifted Quinn's chin up so she could meet her eyes. "Tell me how you know this."
"I saw the cuts on her wrist yesterday in the choir room." Quinn could feel the tears forming in her eyes again.
"Ok, well we will get back to how we are going to fix that in a second, first tell me what happened last night."
"Well, I went over to her house yesterday to work on our Glee assignment and we actually had fun. I really like her dad's. They are really nice. Well one of them doesn't really like me, but that's not really the point. Anyway, I told her I knew about the cutting. I just wanted her to talk, I wanted her to stop." Quinn felt the tears roll down her cheeks.
Santana wiped the tears off the blondes face. "Wait, so you confronted her about her cutting? Quinn, I know you like her, but she doesn't know that. All she knows is that you are mean to her. What made you think she would actually talk to you about this?"
"I don't know. I was just stupid I guess. She yelled at me. She told me I was the reason she did it and that she didn't want to be my friend or ever talk to me again. She thought that I was trying to get information to use against her."
"Yeah, that's what she said to me last night too." Santana said.
"Last night? When did you talk to Rachel last night?" Quinn looked Santana right into her deep brown eyes.
"I went over there after you fell asleep. I wanted to know what she did to you."
"Santana Maria Lopez! What were you thinking?" Quinn snapped.
"That my best friend was in pain. You were in more pain that I have seen you in, in a long time. I was not just going to sit back and allow that to happen. So I went over there and had a little chat with her."
"How do you even know where she lives?"
"I got her number and address from your phone." Santana said.
"Of course you did."
"Yeah, well, you know me." Santana smirked.
"Right. Look, Santana, I know you don't like keeping things from Brittany, but you can't tell her about Rachel's cutting. I love Britt, I really do, but she isn't the best at keeping secrets."
"I won't tell. But, Q, we need to do something." Santana said as shifted a little but keep their hands together.
"Can I ask you something?" Quinn asked her friend, not knowing if this was going to be going to fair.
"Why did you do it?"
Santana look confused. "Do what?"
"Cut yourself. I remember you doing it last year, when your parents were going through their divorce."
"I was upset and hurting. There was something about the physical pain making the pain on the inside less intense. When you are hurting that much and you cut yourself, you focus on the pain in your wrist so you stop thinking about the pain in your heart. It helps you know you are still alive because when you are that upset, you can become numb to everything else. It only makes you feel better for a little while and then you are back to hating everything again."
Quinn took in Santana's words and thought everything over.
"She told me that I was the reason she did it. I caused her that pain, S. It's my fault." Quinn's voice broke on the last word and she started sobbing again.
Santana wrapped her in another hug. "Quinn listen to me. You didn't cause Rachel any of this pain. I'm not saying that you didn't have anything to do with it, but I am telling you that whatever Rachel is dealing with, goes a lot deeper than you yelling at her and throwing a slushie in her face. Okay? None of this is your fault, sweetie."
"Can we just go back to sleep, please?" Quinn looked up at Santana. "I just want to sleep."
"Ok, come on." Santana grabbed Quinn's hand and led her back over to the bed. Quinn laid down on her back and Santana laid down next to her, wrapping her arm around the blonde protectively. Quinn couldn't help but smile at the fact that Brittany was still completely out of it. Quinn fell asleep almost immediately.
Rachel was sitting on the ground crying. Quinn was trying so hard to get to her. She kept running and running but she wasn't getting any closer.
"Rachel!" Quinn kept screaming but she couldn't get the girls attention. She just kept sobbing on the ground.
Quinn sat up screaming Rachel's name. It was enough to jolt her out of her dream. She looked around out of breathe and saw that the room was empty. Santana and Brittany were gone. Quinn looked over at the clock and saw that it was noon. She knew she needed to get up and go home. She hadn't even told her parents where she was.
"They haven't even called." Quinn thought sadly. Quinn had always wished she could move in with Santana and forget her parents. It had been so much worse since her sister went off to college 2 years ago. She wasn't quite sure when her parents stopped caring about her, but she knew they had.
She got out of bed and walked to the bathroom. She brushed her teeth, sprayed on some of Brittany's perfume and grabbed her deodorant she kept there out of the cabinet. She quickly applied it and then headed downstairs. She was greeted by Katie.
"Glad to see you are doing better, Quinn!" Katie was always so cheerful and it drove Quinn crazy most of the time.
"Thanks, Katie. Where are the girls?"
"I think they are in the backyard." Katie said as she walked away.
Quinn walked outside and saw the girls sitting on the bench swing, their limbs entangled but for once they were making out. Brittany's head was lying on Santana's shoulder as the Latina talked. Even thought Quinn knew that Santana would keep Rachel's secrets, she still felt herself panic a little. She walked over to the girls who stopped talking and looked up at her.
"Sorry about ruining your night guys, I know you wanted to be alone."
"It's no big deal, Q. I promise." Santana said and she smiled at the blonde.
"It's ok, we will just have sex tonight instead." Brittany said with a giant smile on face.
"Right," Quinn said as she glanced at Santana who had turned bright red. "Seriously, S, I am telling you again to stop being embarrassed about having sex with your girlfriend. I know how much you love her." Quinn said thinking about the secret Santana had told her about Puck.
"Yeah, I really do." Santana kissed her girlfriend and smiled.
"Well, I will let you get back to that; I'm going to head home. Thanks for everything, S."
"Anytime. Call me later and we will talk some more. We will come up with a plan, don't worry." Santana said, her features turning serious.
"No plans, S. It's not my place. I have to let it go for now. Thanks though. Thanks, B for letting me crash last night. Bye guys."
Quinn heard Brittany ask what they had been talking about but Santana silenced her questions with a kiss and Quinn knew the secret was safe for now.
Quinn walked back through the house and grabbed her purse. She waved bye to Katie and walked out to her car.
She walked inside her house less than 10 minutes later. She loved living in a small town. She walked to her room without saying hello to her parents. She put in a movie and laid down in bed. That is how Quinn spent the rest of the weekend. She alternated between movies and TV shows on DVD all while thinking about Rachel and the pain she caused the tiny starlet.
Monday morning came way too soon for Quinn's liking. She debated not going to school, but she knew she had to. She got out of bed, threw her up in a pony tail and put on her Cheerios uniform. She dabbled on little makeup and drove to school without eating breakfast. She hadn't even made it through first period before her stomach started growling. She felt bad because she knew she was hurting her baby girl and that thought caused her more pain than she could handle.
"Mr. Morris? May I please go to the bathroom?"
After he said yes, Quinn walked out of the classroom and straight to Mr. Schue's Spanish class.
"Um, Mr. Schue?" Quinn asked as she stuck her head in the door.
"Quinn, is everything ok?" He asked.
Quinn saw Rachel out of the corner of her eye. "Can I talk to you for a second? In the hallway?" Quinn saw Rachel start to panic but Quinn had no way to tell the girl that this had nothing to do with her.
They walked out into the hallway and Mr. Schue immediately started with the questions. "Are you ok? Is it the baby? What's wrong."
"Mr. Schue, please calm down." Quinn smiled. "I know this is going to sound really stupid, but I skipped breakfast this morning and now I'm starving and I don't want anything to hurt my baby and since you are the only adult who knows I'm pregnant, I didn't know who else to go to."
He laughed. "Ok Quinn, go to Mrs. Pillsbury. She knows you are pregnant and she will get you something to eat. I would but I can't leave this class for too long. Aside from Rachel, they are all pretty bad at being good without supervision."
"You told Mrs. Pillsbury I'm pregnant?" Quinn said.
"That's really not important. Don't worry, she can't tell anyone anything since she is the guidance counselor. Now go." He walked back towards his door.
"Thanks, Mr. Schue." She smiled at him as he opened the door and went back into his class.
She went down to Mrs. Pillsbury's office. The red head got her something to eat and even let her hang out with her in the office until the bell rang to signify the end of 1st period. She said thank you and then went back to her class to get her things. She was on her way to her locker when she saw her. Rachel was at the other end of the hall headed straight for her.
"Quinn!" Rachel yelled down the hall and Quinn stopped.
"Did you tell him?" Rachel asked.
"No, Rachel. I told you I wouldn't. Your secret is still safe." Quinn responded.
"Good." Rachel stared at Quinn for a few more seconds before she walked away. Quinn saw her grab her hip and wince in pain, but decided to let it go.
"It's not my place," Quinn thought and it took every ounce of strength she had to turn around and not go after the girl to make sure she was ok.
It was Wednesday before she saw Rachel again. Quinn had just walked into the choir room for Glee practice and she saw the brunette talking to Artie, Mercedes, Tina and Kurt. Quinn walked passed them and went and sat down next to Brittany and Santana.
"Alright, guys. Today we are going to start out duets. Rachel, Quinn, you're up first."
"Mr. Schue, I don't think we can perform today," Rachel said.
"Did you girls do the assignment?"
"Well yes, but-" Rachel started
"Then you can go."
Quinn looked over at Santana who looked at her and smiled. "It'll be ok," Santana said.
Quinn got up and took her side of the classroom while Rachel handed Brad the sheet music.
"Dearest Darlingest Momsie and Popsical." Quinn began.
"My dear father." Rachel continued.
"There's been some confusion over rooming here at Shiz."
"But of course I'll care for Nessa," Rachel sang.
"But of course, I'll rise above it." Quinn hit the high notes perfectly.
"For I know that's how you'd want me to respond. Yes, there's been some confusion for you see my roommate is," The girls sang in perfect harmony.
"Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe," Quinn looked over at Rachel.
"Blonde." Rachel glared at Quinn.
"What is this feeling so sudden and new?" Quinn slowly walked towards Rachel.
"I felt the moment I laid eyes on you?" Rachel started her walk towards Quinn.
"My pulse is rushing." Quinn took another step.
"My head is reeling." Rachel took a few as well.
"My face is flushing." Quinn could actually feel her heart beating as she got closer to the brunette.
"What is this feeling? Fervid as a flame, does it have a name?" The girls closed the distance between them. "Yes." The girls looked at each other. "Loathing." They looked at the rest of the Glee club. "Unadulterated loathing" They looked back at each other.
"For your face." Quinn snarled.
"Your voice." Rachel glared again.
"Your clothing." Quinn smirked.
They looked back at the Glee club.
"Let's just say, I loathe it all." They walked back to opposite sides of the classroom just like they had practiced on Friday night.
"Every little trait, however small makes my very flesh begin to crawl. With simple utter loathing, there's a strange exhilaration in such total detestation. It's so pure and strong! Though I do admit it came on fast.
Still I do believe that it can last and I will be loathing, loathing you my whole life long!"
The girls sang the rest of the song while staring daggers into each other. The more Rachel was angry with Quinn, the angrier Quinn was feeling towards Rachel. The girls got in each other's face for the finale of the song.
"Boo!" Rachel screamed at Quinn.
"Ahh!" Quinn jumped since she really did get scared by Rachel.
Rachel started laughing manically and the song ended. The girls went and sat back down on opposite sides of the room. Santana grabbed Quinn's hand.
"You're shaking." Santana whispered. "You need to calm down, Q."
"I know. I know." Quinn took in a few big breaths to calm herself.
"Amazing job, girls!" Mr. Schue praised them. "You need to work together more often. That was incredible."
Neither girl said anything.
"Alright, next how about Kurt and Mercedes?"
They performed Telephone by Lady Gaga and Beyonce followed by Matt and Mike who mostly danced. Next were Santana and Brittany who followed in Quinn and Rachel's footsteps and performed "For Good," also from Wicked.
"Alright guys, that's all we have time for today. Tomorrow we will have Puck and Finn and Tina and Artie. Have great evening, guys." Mr. Schue dismissed the group.
"Hey baby," Finn came up behind Quinn and wrapped his arms around her waist. "I felt like I haven't seen you in a long time. How are you feeling?"
Quinn had forgotten all about Finn. She had been so preoccupied with Rachel. Quinn knew she had to tell Finn the truth and break up with him. She wanted to be with Rachel.
"I'm good. How are you?"
"Good. You and Rachel did an amazing job." Finn smiled.
"Thanks. Look Finn, we need to talk." Quinn looked around and waited until the room emptied before she spoke again.
"I lied to you Finn about the baby."
Finn looked at her with a confused look on his face. "You're not pregnant?"
"No, I am, but you're not the father." Quinn sat there for a minute and watched as Finn took in this news.
"Who?" Finn asked.
"That's not important right now. I'm really sorry, Finn. I never meant to hurt you."
"Well you did. I'm sorry, but we're done. I can't be with you." Finn said as he stood up to walk away.
"Finn?" He turned around to look at her. Quinn opened her mouth but couldn't form any words. She closed it again and looked down. She heart him walk about and the door close behind him. After a few minutes, she heard the door open again. She looked up and saw Santana come in.
"Where's B?" Quinn asked surprised that the blonde wasn't attached to her girlfriend's hip for once.
"Coach Sylvester wanted to talk to her about something. Is everything ok in here? I saw Finn leave. He looked pretty upset." Santana sat down next to Quinn.
"I told him about the baby, well I told him that he wasn't the father."
"Puck?" Santana asked.
"No, I couldn't tell him that part." Quinn looked the Latina in the eyes. "He broke up with me."
"Isn't that what you wanted? So you can try to figure out this whole Rachel thing. You want to be with her, right?" Santana asked. Quinn just nodded. "Well then, you are going to have to talk to Rachel. She isn't going to know that you want to be with her, unless you talk to her. Tomorrow, ok? Talk to her tomorrow. I will be there to celebrate with you if she wants the same and I will be here to let you cry if she doesn't."
"Now come on, we have practice. Mrs. S will make us run laps if we are late and my guess is that, that is not so good for my niece in there." Santana stuck out her hand.
Quinn smiled. She hated Wednesdays because they had Glee practice and then Cheerio's practice in the same day. Quinn took the Latina's hand for what felt like the thousandth time that week and let her lead her to the gym.