TinySprite: (Waves hello at the screen) Hey! Yeah, I know my other fics need work, but this adorable and totally random little plot bunny just wouldn't leave me alone!

Tunnel Rat: (in background) We wish you would leave us alone.

Tiny: (snaps fingers) Disclaimer time!

Snake Eyes: (holds up sign with disclaimer written on it)

Disclaimer: TinySprite owns nothing of GI Joe aside from several Hasbro approved and publicly available items. No monetary gain is made from this whatsoever.


When the greenshirts scheme, the Joes try to avoid the area. Well, either that or suddenly develop ninja level skills of avoiding detection so as to videotape the resulting events for movie night.

Currently, a small group of five greenshirts were partially hidden in one of the Pit's many corridors. There were three males and two females, four looked nervous and unsure while the fifth had an almost mad glint in his eye. Keeping his voice low, he explained to his fellows, "See, I've thought it all out. It's just like Pavlov's dogs. We simply train the Sergeant Major subtly to act accordingly to specific cues and soon we'll control him instead of the other way around!"

The brunette female glanced quickly around the hall, paranoia making her also scan the ceiling just in case, "But why this way? Surely there must be a better one."

The short male snorted, clearly thinking her dumb, "Of course not! I've thought it all out and it only works if we catch him first! All my research states this is the best way to catch him!"

The others looked at each other, the tallest and most visibly muscled male grumbling, "Then why don't you hold the freaking rope..."

The rope in question wound out from their hall into a connecting one. From there it went to a stick, one that was propping up a large cardboard box over a fresh fruit pie. All in all, a very childish and cartoon-like setup that by all rights would only win them much mocking and laughter when the story later spread. The crazy greenshirt snorted again, "Because I'm the leader! Leaders don't do grunt work like this! Besides, you pulled the short straw."

About to reply to that, a sudden noise made all five of them freeze. It inspired terror in their hearts, which instantly froze, and even their maddened comrade had an unhealthy dose of fear clear on his face. It was BeachHead, clearly disapproving, "Now who'd leave good pie out like that?"

The other male that had yet to speak carefully peeked out, yanking his head back with eyes wide of disbelief, whispering almost inaudibly, "He's really taking the bait!"

Without needing to be told, the tallest greenshirt yanked the rope, causing the box to fall neatly onto the Sergeant Major. There was a long second of complete disbelief among them, only broken by the muffled sounds of eating. Still not believing their luck, the leader was about to send them out to secure their prize when another sound came to their attention, that of moving cardboard. The third male glanced out again, pulling his head back quickly once more, "He's loose!"

The greenshirts hid in the hall's scant shadows, praying they wouldn't be found. By some untold miracle, they weren't. All though they were treated to a loud burp, accompanied by fading footsteps and a remark of, "Great pie. Wonder who left it out.."

Once they were sure he was gone, the quintet slipped out to see what had gone wrong. The answer was insultingly simple. BeachHead had simply stood up and shrugged the box off. While the two males and the brunette looked at their self-claimed leader with looks of 'we told you so' the other female with reddish brown hair picked up the sparklingly clean pie pan. She examined it for a few seconds, quietly saying in a stunned voice, "He bit it."

The others instantly crowded around her to see. Sure enough, there was a clear bite mark on the rim of the pan, where some of the crust had been stuck to it. The shortest male greenshirt clenched one of his fists, a determined and clearly crazed gleam in his eyes again, "That's it! It does work! We just need more pies and a heavier box!"

The others had enough. The strongest of them snarled, "That's it!"

Before he could question just what he meant, the other four tackled him, pulling duct tape from who knows where to both silence and tie him up. Dumping the crazy, struggling greenshirt in the box, the other two males picked it up between them. The brunette looked to her friend, "Go tell Lifeline he has a new patient. Might wanna get Psych-Out too."

She nodded and sped off. The remaining trio quickly followed her, arguing between them just what cover story they should use to hide the unfortunate scheme they were just a part of. Pity none of them had noticed Ace further down the hall, because he had most definitely noticed them...right about the time they'd set up the trap. Patting his video camera after shutting it off, the pilot slowly followed them, whistling a jaunty tune in his head.


Tiny: (beaming) And there you have it!

BeachHead: (licking one of his fingers) Seriously, good pie.

Tiny: Anyway, feedback is greatly welcomed! Just to add a little spice, since it's probably gonna happen anyway, I challenge willwrite4fics to write a better version of this 'trap the Sergeant Major with pie as bait' fic! (strikes cheesy challenge pose)