Hi! I know I have a billion other projects that I should be finishing, but I just got inspired by these boys. :P This is vaguely un-beta'd, so if ya'll catch any huge mistakes, please let me know so I can correct them. I've been staring at this for about two hours nit-picking, but it always takes a new eye to see little stuff.
But I noticed something, anytime there's a story about Logan "coming out" to his "interest" he's always very…feminine. Which I don't understand at all, I mean, yeah, he's one of the smallest and the smartest…but please tell me I'm not the only one who saw the muscles that guy has. Ugh, anyways, I wanted to make him more dominant than I usually see him in Kogan stories. So…this was the product. Lots of angst…
ALSO…I want you all to know that some of his views ARE NOT my views. I actually had my husband help me out here, delving into the mind of a boy is quite scary…
He was the picture of calm beneath the moon as he sat on the –slightly- uncomfortable roof of the Palm Woods. Knees bent, back reclined against one arm while the other rested on top of his knees. A serene, calm façade masking the underlying turmoil visible to the trained eye. If one knew him well enough, they would see the trouble hiding behind those dark, chocolate eyes.
Logan shifted slightly as the song playing through his ear phones changed. He smiled at the chorus, the words were scarily fitting for his current situation.
He really could use a wish right now.
Maybe he could wish for a do-over for the day. Or maybe one for his life.
He always seemed to let someone down. His parents, when he chose to play hockey rather than take piano lessons when he was a kid. His teachers, when he was suspended that one time for taking the fall for his team mate's prank that got a little out of control.
He pulled his arm off his knees and ran his hand quickly through his rumpled hair, making it even messier than before.
He hummed along to the song while scanning the sky. It was ridiculous to look for shooting stars, but it kept his eyes occupied.
Because although the urge was strong, men didn't cry. And Logan hadn't cried since his baby sister had passed away only days after her birth when he was eight.
Did all teenage boys feel like this? Like their lives were forfeit? Not even worth living anymore? How many hid it behind a masculine visage? How many were smiling right now while all they wanted to do was curl into a ball and revert back to infancy?
He sighed again. These depressing thoughts just weren't him. Sure, he was analytical and logical, but he always made it a point to stray more towards the optimistic side of things.
But today just wasn't going his way. And there was no way he could put that positive spin on it.
Logan wished he could just skate it all away. But in LA, he'd have to find an actual rink (though, he'd probably be looking for a while), never mind the fact that it was past 2AM. But it'd been so long since he'd been on the ice, bashing another player into the wall. Getting all his aggression out of his system during the game. Exhausting his muscles to the point of passing out.
Then maybe he'd get some sleep.
As it were, he didn't think he'd ever sleep again without reliving the past afternoon behind his eyelids, like some sick and depressing movie. Kind of left a bad taste in his mouth when he thought of it that way.
Even through the music, he could hear the tentative voice calling his name. He switched the arm he was reclining on for the other and popped an earphone out.
"Yeah, James?" The taller boy sat next to him, crossing his legs and steepling his fingers beneath his chin.
"You doing alright?" Logan smirked, his friends were so predictable.
"Yeah, I'm good. Just enjoying the night air." James grimaced at his chipper attitude, causing Logan to smile again. The boy had obviously been voted least-likely-to-get-kill-for-coming-out-to-talk. He almost wanted to frown at his melancholy thoughts.
"James," Logan actually laughed out loud. "What did you expect me to be doing? Crying? Trying to kill myself?" His expression softened when he saw his friend wince. "Sorry. I may be gay, but I am still a man."
James let out a breathy chuckle. "I know, Logan. But," He paused for a moment before continuing. "It's okay to be hurt right now. Rejection sucks."
Logan lolled his head towards his friend, giving him a humorless smile. "Thanks for reminding me." James grinned at him sheepishly. "But really, I think I'll be alright. I was able to keep it to myself for years. It's actually kind of great to be free for once." He leaned back and stared at the moon again. Maybe if he said it enough, he'd actually start believing that lie.
"Just give him some time. I think you just took him by surprise." A corner of James's mouth quirked up, like he wanted to start a smile but couldn't quite bring himself to complete it.
"That's an understatement." Logan muttered, hidden bitterness peeking through his indifferent tone. "But it's all good. I'll live."
"Alright." James clapped his shoulder in a manly way. "Kendall does love you. I'm just not sure it's in the way you want." Logan pursed his lips and knit his eyebrows together. "I'm sorry, Logan."
"Me too." He whispered to his friend's retreating back, putting the forgotten earphone back in place and backing up his iPod to that song again.
He scanned the inky skies again until he saw the blinking lights of an airplane flying above his head. The song's chorus played through his ears, and he gave in. Closing his eyes, he grimaced and wished on his "shooting star." His eyes shooting open quickly afterwards at the sound of shoes scuffling against granite.
And there it is. Yes, that is the end. I wanted to leave it open ended so that either A) I can create another one-shot from another point of view and B) You can kind of draw your own conclusions. This is probably one of the few stories I've ever written that doesn't have a definitive happy ending…I tend to suck at angst a little bit. Yes ,the song that inspired this is B.o.B's Airplanes. It is quite amazing what some people can come up with.
Hope you liked!