I know that I'm supposed to be writing a sequel, and I will be soon... I just got this idea and I had to get it down on paper. I finally decided to type it up and share it with you all even though it's a little dark. I wanted to show a softer, pained side of Patrick Verona that you really don't get to see in the show. Enjoy!
She's left. Gone. It's official.
It took my head a while to ache from hitting it against her bedroom wall, wondering why I let her slip through my fingers so easily.
It wasn't like we hadn't talked about this. We danced around the topic for months before she finally came out with it. That she was accepted and she was going. I jumped up and hugged her, congratulating her like the good little actor I was, while on the inside I wondered why she would choose that life over this one so easily.
It wasn't like I hadn't seen this whole thing coming either. She talked about it for months as she slowly compiled box after box in her room. Her father even helped her, but even I could see right through his mask of happiness. He was hurting, scared of sending her away, and afraid of losing her. This is one reason why he allowed me to hang around as much as I did. He just as easily recognized the same mask on my face.
It wasn't like I hadn't said good-bye either. I had snuck into her room late that night and climbed into bed with her, holding her closely to me. No words were exchanged as we held each other, her silent tears pooling on my shirt. My tears dripped onto her pillow, but she soon fell asleep with her face buried into my chest never seeing one fall. I soon drifted off as well, and woke up holding her even tighter the next morning. It was silent as I helped her pack her last few things and finished loading up the car for her. Her father wasn't all that surprised to see me over that early, since I practically lived at his house. Before I let her get into the car, I made sure to hold her again and take in her sent one last time. I also made sure to kiss her deeply, so that the tingling sensation on my lips would linger as long as possible. I opened my mouth one last time to tell her I love you, but the words were stuck there in the back of my throat, with all of the other things I wanted to tell her. I finally came up with, "Don't have too much fun, and make sure to call. I'll miss you too much if you don't."
It wasn't like my stomach didn't curl and my heart didn't clench as her father drove her away. I stood in the middle of the street as it started to rain. I let the sky open up and pour as I watched her go, not realizing that the droplets rolling down my checks didn't just belong to the sky.
It got to the point where I felt sick. I moped, not wanting to do anything. I went out with friends and forgot for a few hours. I was always reminded of her though, when I got home and the quite surrounded me in bed. No matter how many times I woke up in the middle of the night to grope for her, she was never there.
It wasn't hard to tell that I missed her. I openly admitted it too. I missed seeing her face, hearing her laugh, smelling her on my t-shirts, tasting her mouth on mine, and feeling her warmth at night. I missed every little thing about her, from her witty remarks to her angry screams. Every now and then she would call and we would talk. It filled the aching in my chest for a little while, but when I hung up the phone the only thing I could hold onto was her laughter ringing in my ears as I fell asleep.
It was weird to lay it bed at night and just think of her. I couldn't help but think of the first time that we "met", and I almost took off her car door. I smirked as I remembered glaring at her and being completely taken aback when she bluntly gave me a taste of my own medicine later on that day, with the "creepy/sexy" staring contest. I even found myself thinking of different ways to try and forget her, just like I was now. I could never come up with anything, and soon realized that I couldn't even handle my own emotions.
It took me days to realize that she was the reason that I was down. Other people have told me that they saw this coming, but they didn't think I would handle her leaving me this badly. I hadn't noticed the change in me until I started up school again. I was going to an engineering college, trying to prove to her father that I was good enough for her. I started making friends, and they slowly started to see through the mask I wore. They would ask if I was okay, and I always said yes, pretending like it didn't hurt to laugh or smile. I finally looked in the mirror and wondered what type of person I had become. I looked like a freaking corpse, pale and purple. The only time I didn't feel this way was when I was under a car, relaxing and thinking about everything else but her.
It took me a while to realize that this whole thing made me feel like a chicken with its head cut off. I felt helpless, pathetic, and running around aimlessly. I was running around everywhere in fact, trying to find ways to distract myself. When other girls came up and talked to me, I could only notice how they weren't her. This one had blonde hair not brown, and this one had green eyes instead of brown, or this one was too girly. None of them could even compare to her.
It also took me a while to realize why my chest felt so empty. I had given my heart to someone without even knowing it. I thought that I had kept my walls up, keeping myself safe and guarded. I hadn't opened my eyes until it was too late, finally noticing how much I missed her, and how much I needed her standing by my side in my life. I felt stupid when I realized how much I took her for granted, and that fact that she had to leave for me to come to my senses and know how much I truly cared about her. I even realized something that made me pack a bag and buy the next ticket to Providence, Rhonde Island, and that was when she left she had packed my heart and took it with her. I trusted it in her hands, but I just wanted to see that it was okay.
It was weird for me to do this sense I had never really been one for surprises, but I finally understood how fun they could be. The excitement coursing through my veins almost made any thought unbearable, but I managed to keep myself in line at the airport and on the plane ride over there. I was on my best behavior as I found the campus, politely trying to find my way to her dorm room and to her.
It would be an understatement to say that she was surprised, and shocked would be more like it. It was late evening when I arrived at her door, and she answered the knock on the door with an annoyed expression plastered all over her face. Her hair and clothes were rumpled, giving the impression that she was studying. All I could do was greet her by genuinely grinning, something I hadn't done in almost a year. All she could do was stare at me, her mouth slightly opened as her hand that was holding the door fell slack against her thigh.
It was awkward. I stood there uncomfortably and shifted my weight. I finally said her name, and she threw herself at me so quickly that I stumbled back into the wall across from her door. Her arms where around my neck and she was squeezing me too tightly but I couldn't care less. She was it my arms and that's all that mattered to me. She pulled me back into her dorm room and locked the door before slowly pushing my jacket off my shoulders, kissing me senseless while sucking the oxygen from my lungs.
It didn't take long before we were both panting and gasping for air. No time was wasted as my shoes and socks were taken off, and my jacket was soon forgotten. We fell to her bed, panting even harder and rememorizing each other. The time apart had definitely taken its toll on us, but soon the memories came flooding back and we found each other again in the dim light of her desk lamp. I whispered her name over and over again, telling her how much I missed her until I was breathless with want. Our clothes were soon forgotten with our other clothing, and I was reminded why she was the only one that I would allow to breathe my name.
It wasn't long until we were basking in each other, making love for the first time in almost a year. After we had connected, she laid sprawled across my chest as I drew patterns on her bare back and played with her silky locks. We whispered to each other. She told me about school, and I listened and made comments when I needed to.
It wasn't until it was past midnight that she started to drift off into her own little word.
"What did you come here for?" She finally asked.
"My heart." I answered honestly and truthfully, no sarcasm or remorse hidden in my voice.
"Really?" I could hear the surprise in her voice. "And where would it be?"
"With you." I answered openly again, shrugging my shoulders.
Her hand slid up to rest over my beating heart, "I'm pretty sure I left it right where it belongs."
I shook my head at her, "I'm pretty sure I gave my heart to you the day you asked me not to break yours."
"Why would you do that?" She asked, voice drenched in curiosity.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before I let myself say the three words that I have been trying to tell her for years, "Because I love you Kat, and I trust only you with it."
I felt her body stiffen as she raised herself so she could look into my eyes.
"I love you too Patrick," she whispered, her eyes shinning in the dim light.
The kiss we shared was bittersweet and chaste, our feelings being poured out to the other.
I fell asleep that night holding my love in my arms as she held me.
If you love something, set it free. If it comes back it's yours, if it doesn't it was never meant to be.
Well I was never one following the rules, but I think she can still be considered mine even though I came to her.
Leave a comment! Tell me if you loved/hated it, and please tell me if there are any mistakes because I will go back and change them and then re-update the story. If you want, tell me some things that you hope will happen anytime in the sequel of "When Reality Beats Dreaming".
Until next time...