Hey ya'll! Silverstar here, and I've decided to write a parody one-shot inspired by one of my favourite jokes of all time! And… a hint of Shanks/Makino? o.0 Anyway, hope you like it, and remember to leave me a review! :D
Luffy, at 7 years old, was excited whilst arriving in Partys Bar. It was nearing Christmas and Makino, with Shanks' help, was planning a celebration for tonight. Luffy went searching for Makino to announce his arrival, but stopping outside her room, heard a peculiar conversation. It was Makino and Shanks and they were talking about…
"What are dicks and condoms?" asked Luffy as he poked his head through the door without knocking, giving both Makino and Shanks a shock. They looked at each other, and Shanks answered quickly, "Th-they're another name for coats, Luffy. That's all."
Later, the Red Haired pirates were filling up the wine barrels for Makino to get ready for tonight. But with a slip of the hand, one of the barrels tipped and the liquid spilt across the floor.
"Shit!" cursed Benn, unaware that Luffy was standing at the door.
"Shit?" Luffy blinked.
"It means 'pouring wine'!" Yasopp quickly explained.
"Crap!" cried Makino, cutting her finger on the piece of sharp plastic. She was putting moisturizer on her face and didn't notice the lid of the bottle was cracked with a sharp edge.
"What does that mean?" asked Luffy, who stood behind her.
Makino panicked, not realising Luffy was standing there, and replied, "It's what I call this cream that I use!"
It was late afternoon now and the celebration was soon to begin. Luffy and Shanks were hanging up some decorations at the door, chatting in the otherwise empty bar, waiting for the invited guests to turn up. Unexpectedly, though, a random bandit decided to pop in for a drink.
"Hello ya'll bitches and bastards; make room," announced the bandit arrogantly as he entered, brushing past Luffy.
Luffy blinked and frowned. "What does bitches and bastards…?"
"I'm just addressing all the ladies and gentlemen here," the bandit smirked.
"Oh, ok. But there's no one here."
The bandit looked around and on seeing indeed there wasn't anyone around, scowled. "What? Where is everyone? Christ, so much for my drink then." He turned and began to stomp out of the bar. "Move it, kid," he snarled, shoving Luffy out of his way and making him crash into a wall. Luffy stumbled back, rubbing his bruised nose tenderly.
"What was that for, jerk?" demanded Shanks, going over to see if Luffy was alright, annoyed at the fact the kid was hurt.
"It's a sunny day today," said the bandit, ignoring Shanks' question and instead snatching his straw hat. "Mind if I borrow this?" Without waiting for an answer, the bandit walked out of the bar, laughing as he disappeared from sight.
"FUCK!" shouted Shanks with a snarl and leapt up.
"What does that mean?" asked Luffy with a frown.
"It means I'm going to kill that guy, that's what." with that, Shanks chased the bandit out of the bar.
"Oh, I see." Luffy thumped his fist on his palm.
At this moment, the mayor, Woop Slap, and many of the villagers arrived through the doors of the bar for the Christmas celebration. Luffy laughed happily and ran up to greet them.
"Hey ya'll bitches and bastards!" grinned Luffy. "Put down your dicks and condoms! Makino's putting crap on her face, the Red Haired pirates are shitting in the wine barrels, and Shanks is fucking the bandit that nicked off with his hat!"