A/N: Just read 20 Truths: Yumichika and Ikkaku by Vivienne Granger (Funnee :D). I'm more yaoi-oriented, so here's my version.
1. "We are a couple, but what business is it of yours?"
That would be what Ikkaku says, and knuckles crackle after the sentence.
2. "We are a couple. And who are you to be asking, pray?"
Yumichika's response comes with a requisite eyelash flutter.
3. Yumichika's response is considered scarier.
4. Yumichika considers himself the epitome of male beauty in Seireitei.
Do not mention Kuchiki Byakuya, Ukitake Jyuushiro and/or Ichimaru Gin.
5. Especially if you intend to compare him with Kuchiki-taichou's skin, Ukitake-taichou's smile and/or Ichimaru-taichou's hair texture.
6. In fact, don't bother comparing, not even if you were a masochist.
7. Ikkaku doesn't care whether he's beautiful or not. He's in this dump for Zaraki. He fights for his captain, for Yachiru, and for Yumichika. Full stop.
8. And maybe for the booze.
9. Yumichika loves beautiful things. Specific things are beautiful.
Lilies, just before full bloom. Snow as it falls. Raindrops making circles in a pond.
Candlelight reflected in Ikkaku's eyes just before bedtime.
10. Ikkaku has yet to learn why Yumichika stares at him before they turn in, but he likes the undivided attention.
11. Most people find Ikkaku's Luck-luck dance silly and childish. Yumichika isn't most people.
12. Who else, he will ask delicately, has the same exuberance and delight in something so simple? And that, Yumichika will smile tenderly, is beautiful.
13. Drunk Ikkaku, however, is left to his own devices, no matter how exuberant or delighted Ikkaku gets in something as simple as booze.
14. A division full of sweaty, rowdy, uncouth men isn't beautiful by most people's standards, and Yumichika surprisingly counts himself as most people in this matter.
He conducts his daily life in his own quarters.
15. Yumichika suffers exactly three other persons to go near his quarters.
Everyone else will just... suffer.
16. The reddish spots on the outside edges of Ikkaku's eyes are painted on daily, because "they bring out Ikkaku's intense gaze".
17. Mention that ritual, and Ikkaku will color your eyes.
Do black, blue and purple go with your skin tone?
18. Ikkaku knows Yumichika is beautiful and therefore does not see the need to boast of what is plain, honest and simple fact.
Yumichika thinks Ikkaku is gorgeous and has pointed it out to the man often, but Ikkaku will hear none of it.
19. Hence, Yumichika remembers each curl of the lip, each play of muscle, each narrowing of the eyes. He also remembers each cut, scrape, bruise, tear, crack and rip. He then remembers each scar landed on his lover: who and what did it, where, when and why it happened, and how long it took to heal.
He doesn't bother to remember if Ikkaku wins.
If Ikkaku survives, that's not a loss.
20. Ikkaku remembers how pretty the annoyed Yumichika looked the time Ikkaku made the mistake of calling him 'Babe', and how hot Yumichika looked kicking everyone's ass (including Ikkaku's own), and everything else just fades to background static.
Whatever else happens, that is the Yumichika he loves with all his being.