I typed this up for icebluehost-senpai (although she requested for this about… a year ago. So sorry... T_T"). It's one of those fics you may have to read twice to fully understand and it's also kinda dark, so maybe not everyone's cup of tea. Anyhoo, I'd never written about Gokudera, so I thought I'd give this a try.
Summary: Darkfic. Gokudera takes her out on a road trip to put an end to everything they had. Slight TYL!Gokudera x OC. One-shot.
Warnings: OOC, potty language, confusing situations, Dark! and Angsty!TYLGokudera
The Road Trip
By Fish and Chips
They were going on a road trip today.
Just Gokudera, and Evie.
He takes the car from his collection which is her all-time favourite. It's black and glossy, with leather seats. The car, it's the kind with the retractable hood and black windows for privacy; the ones which ordinary people wouldn't be able to afford, the ones with five different types of air conditioning and in-built sat-nav. They didn't take anything with them, just themselves and the clothes on their very backs. No suitcases, no money, no food, save for a bottle of still water, and a cellphone.
Now that's how you go on an adventure.
At first, Bianchi protested. But Gokudera was keen. He said, They needed some alone time. Besides, Evie didn't mind.
So Gokudera drives down the road in his marble-white vest and loose combat pants with sunglasses propped over his bottle green eyes, letting the scent from his new-car air freshener that was dangling from the rear-view mirror invade his nostrils. With a lit cigarette wobbling between his lips, he glistens under the intensive heat, beads of sweat going deep and glittering off his biceps, his tattoo grinning under the sun. He doesn't do much to his appearance but he already looks like he came out of a Vogue magazine.
Riding shotgun beside him, Evie simmers as she stays limp and lazy in her seat, succumbing and admitting defeat to the unfamiliar heat of Japan. She was dressed in fresh clothes since the ones she had the other day were slightly soiled and sticky; she was now in a tank top and denim skirt, her feet stuffed in a pair of brown boots. Her head rested against the side, near the seatbelt holster, where she could see the passing trees and telephone posts.
The journey had been long.
There was only one road and one direction. They'd already driven out of town, out of human civilisation, engulfed in an awkward silence the entire time apart from the low and unremitting hum of the car engine. They've been out on the road for at least three hours now, and there was no more sight of petrol stations or other rest-stops, their surroundings only consisting of bleak, plum-coloured, auburn clay and billowy sand. Evie has no idea about their destination, since he never told her; and so she waits. She sits patiently in her seat, looking comfortable though the seat belt digs into her, creating a purplish-red mark over her soft flesh.
"Why aren't you talking to me, Gokudera Hayato?"
In response, he reaches over and switches the radio on. Conveniently, it's the channel where people call in, telling the DJ about their love woes and other life stories. Previously, he had managed to keep his anger in check, but he's still frustrated with her even though he tries not to let it show. Instead, he unleashes his agitation on the car, by going over the speed-limit, driving at almost one hundred and fifty miles per hour. The engine continues to roar down the desolate road, and Gokudera rolls his window down, the wind blowing through his silver hair as he lets his tense hand rest over the gearstick, while the other steers the wheel.
Evie watches him stonily as soon as he puffs another noxious cloud from his cigarette into the atmosphere. A few moments later, without taking his eyes off the path, he lets out a low grunt under his breath, "… I still haven't forgiven you yet."
"Why are you doing this?"
"About what happened that day…" With that said, he figures Evie should understand now: Gokudera has brought them out here to resolve a few problems in their relationship. If possible.
He knows Evie doesn't want to talk about it, hates talking about it, never wanted to talk about it. She retreats away wordlessly once again.
And Gokudera slows the car down a little to a safer one hundred miles per hour down the road. An endless road of nothing but dirt and drivel. "…Why did you do it?"
"You betrayed me."
"I was only following orders."
"Bullshit." Gokudera's hand clenches over the wheel firmly, going white, his blunt nails digging into the innards of his palm. He barks out loud over the sheer volume of the radio, "Did that bastard Byakuran set you up to meet me?"
"What happened between us, those times we spent together. Everything you said to me. Were all those bullshit lies too?"
"You still chose Byakuran over me. How the hell am I supposed to forgive you?"
"I wasn't hoping you would."
"…I don't care about that anymore," Gokudera growls out, as the car goes over a small pothole in the path; Evie joggles in her seat in response to the impact. "That day, when you attacked us… I knew deep inside, you didn't want to do it."
The car goes over another small bump, and Evie faces outside the car window again. "Believe whatever you want, Gokudera Hayato."
And two hours pass.
He finally pulls the car up at the edge of the road. They've arrived at the outskirts of the deserted kingdom, with still no sight of civilisation. Perfect. The sky is dark at long last, as he calculated, and outside, Evie can see the presence of the stars and the moon shining from above; Gokudera switches off the car headlights, kills the engine, encompassing them both in darkness, and takes out the keys from the slot. He rests his forehead over the wheel, obviously tired and weary, having been driving all day without a break or a single bite to eat.
"We're here." Gokudera confirms, and then he turns to Evie. "But I need to know - You… loved me." His expression scrunches up at the word 'loved'.
"Of course I did."
"But not enough." He gets rid of his cigarette. Then he reaches into the glove compartment in front of Evie and opens it, pulling out a loaded gun from inside. It's heavy in his hand, the two bullets clicking against the slots in the revolver.
"What are you doing?"
He shuts his eyes.
"Hayato, what are you doing?"
It was tempting:
Pull the trigger.
End it all.
What they had.
"Hayato, stop it."
His eyes snap wide open. "Evie."
But Evie doesn't move from her seat, her legs and arms weighted down by cramps and dull, aching pains since she had remained sitting in the seat for a long time. "I'm not worth it."
Gokudera watches her cautiously, and she gazes steadily back at him expectantly without flinching. Eventually, he gives in to her incessant stare, and lowers the gun down submissively. He sits back in the seat, and grabs the bottle of water in the holder before drinking down the contents quickly. Then he replaces it back, wipes his mouth. "…'The hell am I doing?" He can't help but wonder out loud. "Goddamnit, Evie. Why the hell am I still thinking about you?"
Evie doesn't blink. "Hayato..."
From his pocket, his cellphone begins to ring, and he flips it open. "Hello? Juudaime? …Evie? She's fine. We've arrived. The car? I've already called them to collect it. It's going to the scrapyard first thing tomorrow morning. Yeah. Oh, r-really? Don't worry, it won't take long."
Then he opens the door and steps out of the car, dragging in a few quick breaths of fresh air and exhales out; he brushes a hand through his hair and sighs. Then he ties his hair up with an elastic band that had been strapped around his wrist and moves to the back of the car, taking slow strides, his boots kicking up dust and soil. He lifts something out from the boot but Evie doesn't get the chance to see. As soon as he returns back into the car, he takes off his sunglasses and reaches down, grabs her hand in his. He hesitates for a brief moment, then raises her clenched knuckles up and brushes his lips over the silken flesh, before sweeping a few strands of hair from her face. Gokudera leans over close to her, his lips near her ear.
"…I'll be back soon."
But Evie doesn't see him again until hours later.
And when he returns to the car from the horizon, he's thoroughly exhausted. He's covered in bruises and dirt marks, far more dishevelled and muddled than before. Evie is still sitting rigidly upright in her seat watching him, almost impatiently yet anxiously. It's dawn, and the sun's about to rise.
Gokudera pauses as soon as he stops at the front of the car, watching the hot embers slowly wither away from the tip of cigarette with each slow drag of breath. Surely, she must realise by now that this was not just a normal road trip. He throws his cigarette down on the ground, trampling it under his boot. Then he makes his way to her side and opens the door. Automatically, the light of the car flickers on and Evie's frail and pallid complexion is laid bare for all to see.
Evie looks dreadful.
She doesn't bother to look at him, as he lowers himself down to her level, scooping an arm under the bend of her knees and the other around the small of her back.
Evie doesn't resist.
He gently lifts her out, out of the sanctity of the car and into the wilderness. He looks at Evie, who remains persistent in her prolonged periods of steely silence, her neck supported by his forearm. The journey on foot is long and silent, and Gokudera finally stops in his path, still with Evie in his arms. He grunts a little, just as his arm begins to slip off her back slightly. She then looks up at him as her head lolls further into the crook of his arm, as he adjusts his grip on her again.
"You were gone for hours. I was lonely."
"I had to do something."
Another distinct, lengthy stillness spawns between the couple once more. Gokudera stops in his step once he arrives at his destination, and he slowly folds his legs under, to sit on the ground with Evie's small form supported in his arms. He strokes her dry, matted locks and embraces her cold body to his.
"Hayato, why exactly are we here?"
He says, "I have to let you go." Gokudera slowly gets back up onto his feet, albeit somewhat reluctantly, and holds Evie over the empty space he had stopped at, with outstretched arms. "I loved you so much, I killed you."
And then he drops her, after a long hesitation. Evie tumbles down into the ditch he had been digging out by his lonesome those few hours ago. It's a deep circular crevasse in the ground, at least six feet deep. From the surface, he can just make out the indistinguishable outline of her unmoving form.
Her bullet-ridden body.
Her dried blood, glued to her clothes.
Her open, unblinking eyes, watching him.
Her singed skin, slipping off as Evie begins to decay and self-digest.
From the shadowy depths of the pit he had slung her into, Evie stares at him continuously, "You can't do this to me, Gokudera Hayato."
He picks up the shovel, which he had kept in the boot of the car, which was lying beside him.
"Hayato, there has to be another way."
"It has to be this way. This is the only way."
He'd already accounted that he wouldn't be able to use the same car again, not with the soot-coloured human stain on the seat or the lingering, unbearable smell of death. During the trip, she'd lost shape under the severe heat, with her knees bent and stiff from the last moments when she fell that day, now rigid and frozen with rigor mortis, her neck tilted to one side and her limp arms splayed out crookedly. Her skin was burnt, flaking and peeling, encrusted with tiny bomb fragments, and it seemed befitting that this would be her final resting place. It was quiet and unperturbed, long and far. It was a place he was unfamiliar with. A place he had to use sat-nav to get to. Otherwise, a place easily forgettable. A place to conceal memories. A place to leave everything behind.
He looks at her one last time, for a long time.
Then he says, "I forgive you."
And Evie continues to gaze at him, her empty eyes transfixed on him the entire time. He thinks he hears her say, "Thank you."
It's the last time they will ever see each other again.
And he begins to quietly fill the pit with lukewarm earth by himself.
Just Gokudera, and Evie.
Okay, um, I guess this is really different from what I usually write. Confused? Well, here's the plot breakdown…
Basically, Evie was someone who was part of the Millefiore who had infiltrated the Vongola long ago as a spy. Although, she and Gokudera started a sort of love-hate relationship, Evie still obeyed her orders from Byakuran and attempted to eradicate the Vongola even though she didn't really want to. He ended up having to kill her. With Evie's body in possession, Gokudera's 'road trip' was to take her somewhere to be buried.
The entire time in the car, Evie's body is put into the passenger seat. She is already dead, been dead waaay before the story started, which is why she is rotting and – okay, it gets a bit complicated here – he's not having an actual conversation with her in which they resolve some unsaid things in their relationship.
I have tried to make sure to write the story in a way so that Evie does not literally 'speak' but merely 'gives answers' that correlate to what Gokudera is saying. Sorry, if I've made you really confused now. It's nothing about necrophilia, madness or insanity, just someone trying to say goodbye.
Hope you enjoyed it anyway!