Am I married to YOU!

Title: Am I married to YOU!
Author: Zarazabuza (me)
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Heel and Toe Films, Shore Z Productions and Bad Hat Harry Productions in association with Universal Media Studios.
Thanks to: Mica363 *bow for greathness*
Reason: To be honest it's over a dream I had were Wilson and House wake up in same bed (naked) after a wild night out drinking, only to find out they are now married, I woke up not long after they got to work and something more happened. Ill hope you will enjoy my story.
Oh just one more thing (Colombo): I have no idea when it's taken place. Maybe when they are living together (Wilson on House's sofa)… SO NO SAM! GOD I HATE HER! (Sorry people who like her but Hilson all the way)

Note: thinking
Note: "Speaking"

Chapter 1 – A Married man!

It wasn't until a ringing noise kept disturbing his sleep, that he decided to move from his warm spot in the bed, getting up, he gripped the ringing sound which seemed to be coming from a cellphone, he didn't realize it wasn't his own, but answered it as if it was.

"James Wilson..." he was feeling like crap, what had happened last night? Oooh yeah, he and House had been out drinking and he might have had a little too much, okay a lot too much.

"Wilson?" A voice belonging to a woman said. Wilson soon recognized it as Cuddy's, she sounded surprised "Wilson…why are you answering House's phone?" so its House phone I am answering, wait, why am I answering House's phone? "Okay, I don't want to know, but since you have his phone, can you get House here, and do so yourself too. You're both late, it's almost 11a.m." and then she hung up.

Pinching the bridge of his nose he tried to wake up...What was that she had said, 11a.m. Oh my God! I'm late… I'm late… oh no I'm la-…. What! Is that… it that a ring? It looks like a … no it can't be, but it really looks like an eng- something was moving next to Wilson and it snapped him out of his thoughts, turning his head to the right, he came face to face, with a pair of blue eyes, the eyes belonging to the same person Cuddy asked for, House, starring right into his own brown ones.

"Wilson?" Houses voice was rough from sleep. "Although I sometimes let you sleep here ... what are you doing in my bed?"

"I honestly have no idea, I just woke up and I-" that was when he got a good look at House's right hand, there, around the ring finger was a ring identical to the one he had himself. No, this can't be.

"What's wrong with you, your face looks pale? Why are you looking at my hand…huh? Wait, is that a ring?" House started playing with the ring."What? I got married over night? I wonder to whom?"

"Oh! God!" Wilson found himself saying, while covering his face in his hands, this isn't happening, it's a dream, yes it's a dream, must be a dream, soon I will wake up, in my own bed, not married and not late, wait late, I'm still late!

"Oh! Ah! I see you also have a ring. Huh I guess that means you and I, go-"House started


It didn't help that House was laughing. Wilson couldn't take it anymore, he flew out of bed only to realize something more horrible than to being married to House of all people, was the obvious fact that he was naked. Naked. In. Bed. With. House.

"Wilson…why are you naked?" Even if it was a weird question, Wilson knew that this was definitely something House was going to make fun of him for for a long time.

"Please we don't have time for this, it's already past 11a.m. and we'er both late, so can we just drop it for now, I'm going to take a show!" With that he left House alone on the bed and went to the bathroom, he really needed to get away from this mess to think clearly, and maybe remember what had happened the night before.

While House was alone, he could hear the water running, an obvious sign Wilson had gotten in the shower. He figured he might as well get up too, grabbing his cane he threw the blankets aside and stood.

A cold breeze hit him and he saw that, like Wilson, he too was naked. Where Wilson clearly had freaked out House just found himself some 'clean' clothes, some underwear, a pair of gray pants and a black T-shirt with red text stating "I support big boobs."

Looking around, he noticed Wilson's clothes spread around the room together with his own from the previous night. He returned to the closet to find some clothes for Wilson. Finding some blue/gray pants that were a little too big for himself, which was the reason he hadn't worn them in ages and why they'd probably fit Jimmy. He grabbed a light blue T-shirt with white text saying, "The cake is a lie!" Why did he have that T-shirt anyway, he had never ever worn it, well now Wilson could, that and a tie he had stolen earlier from him.

He limped to the bathroom door and slowly opened it, not really in the mood to see Wilson naked, again. Lucky for him, Wilson was still in the shower as he put the clothes on the toilet seat. Closed the door and limped out in the kitchen and made some coffee and snagged some food from the fridge. There wouldn't be time for Wilson to make pancakes this morning.

Not long after he heard the water stop, Wilson was probably shaving and then soon, very soon the most annoying sound would fill the place, the evil blow-dryer, speak of the devil.


There it was, that annoying sound! Now while he was drinking his coffee he finally got the time to really think this over, so what, he was married to Wilson, his only friend, he had done the worst things while he was drunk, and the naked part, oh well, so what. He took another large gulp of coffee and looked at the ring and then an idea hit him, he might as well have some fun of it while he had the chance. Ooh boy now he really couldn't wait to go to work.

Not long after Wilson came into the kitchen, wearing the clothes House had given him, well he didn't really have another choice in the matter.

"This is my tie! Why do you have this?" Of course that would be the first thing he would say after coming out of the shower.

"What makes you think it isn't my tie and you just happened to think it is yours?" House took yet another sip of the coffee.

"Oh no! I know this is my tie, it's one of my favorites and I was looking for it last week, and now I find it here…House you are not wearing that shirt to work, are you? You are!" He sat himself down at the table after grabbing some bread in the fridge, to eat this morning, shaking his head.

"I don't see why my shirt is so bad?" House was smirking had he gone into denial over the whole married-thing?

"Its offensive!" Wilson was eating like nothing had happened.

"Well, I like it." House responded and a silence followed, until Wilson spoke up again.

"House, about whatever happened last night, lets just take off the rings and forget about it, like it never happened." Wilson wasn't looking at House while he spoke, his gaze was placed on the ring around his finger.


Well, that wasn't what Wilson had expected, so he looked up "Excuse me? You want this!"

"Well, not really, but can't we just wait a little, I really want to see their faces' at work when they hear this," House had an evil smirk on his lips.

"Ooh no! No, no, no, no! I'm not doing it." Wilson was waving his left hand's index finger in front of House's face. "You might get some fun out of this, but not me."

"Come on, I know you want to see their faces' too, just admit it," he was teasing now.


"Admit it!"

"House, please I real-"

"Admit it!"

"Okay fine!"


"Seriously, but only for a little while."

"Fine, then lets go, it's 11:30, don't you have a meeting at 12?"

"Oh God! My meeting! We have to go now!" As soon he said that, he was at the door, House followed. This was going to be interesting.

At work Wilson easily snuck inside, got to his office, and ready for his meeting in only 10 min., however House wasn't so lucky.

"House!" Cuddy's voice, the angry tone of a female boss could be heard.

"Mommy" House remarked with a smile, as he was leaning on his cane.

"I don't have time for this, you have a patient this morning. And I don't want to know why Wilson answered your phone, you probably put it out there, just so if, and when I called, it wouldn't be you I woke up." She was really angry.

"Mom don't be like that, I would never do that."

"Right… Cause you're just such a little angel." Her voiced dripped of sarcasm. "And for God's sake take that shirt off!"

"Oh! You want me to strip, sorry can't, I'm a Married man!" He spoke like it was nothing.

They were walking down the hall when Cuddy suddenly stopped. "You! Married, now that is just the-" He was waving his finger with the ring on, right in her face. "Who, in their right mind would marry you? … So who is she? Do I know her? I'll have to warn her."

"Well, you know the person and the thing about warning, I don't think you have to, he already knows me." Smirking, come on Cuddy figure it out, get the face…yes that's the face, priceless

"No! He wouldn't… Wilson!" Her face was filled with horror.

"Well, I have a patient so, bye bye," he left her standing in the hall with a face closely resembling the painting "The scream".

After the meeting, Wilson went to find the nurse he'd been flirting with, for about a week. She was a brunette, her name was Marianne and she had a lovely smile. They had planned a date for tonight, so he wanted to tell her about his plans for the night. It was just perfect, he had managed to reserve a table at the desired five star restaurant and everything was in place, except for one thing:

"I'm sorry, but I don't date married guys, why don't you take your…" she hesitated "…your husband with you," with that said, she turned and ran away down the hall.

"No, please, wait! It's not like…that," he tried, but she was already gone and the other nurses was giving him evil glares, like he had done the worst thing in the whole world, so he fled to his office.

Around an hour later the door opened and the person who got him into this whole mess stepped in.

"Hi…heard your date got cancelled," House said, almost sounding guilty.

"Nah… It was nothing," that was a lie; he had spent so much time preparing and for it to all go to waste was disappointing. "Hey House!"

"Yes?" he was leaning on his cane as the door closed behind him.

"Well, I was just wondering, I'm probably going to feed you anyway, so, why don't you just join me…tonight?"This felt awkward, asking his friend out on a da- no not a date, it had been a date with Marianne, now he just didn't want to have wasted his time and effort.

"Okay, I didn't really like the girl anyway, her right boob was smaller than the left, and she talked in this really annoying way," he was ranting and Wilson really couldn't help himself, but laugh a little.

"See you at 5?"

"At 5 it is," with that House left the office and Wilson had a small smile on his lips, for the first time today he really didn't care that he was married to House. Maybe this isn't so bad he's always been there, oh no, what am I thinking! I am not interested in House and his fine shaped ass and his blue eyes and-oh God must stop thinking this, I have a da- not a date with him tonight. I also have to get a suit, can't go out with this..T-shirt.

Okay that was Chapter 1, I really hope you liked it, and that's about the thing that happened in my dream so from now on I just create, ill love to get revive about if they are in character if I have to try harder also ill love to get ideas of what can happen next. Also if you find errors please help me see them as I cant see when I make errors all help I got is the Word and Internet.

Ill also like to thank my friend "Kid" (her nickname) for the idée of the text on Wilsons shirt "the cake is a lie!." I laugh so hard, or maybe it was just me finding it funny.

Also the painting "The scream" it's from a Norwegian artist, if you want to see it try Google it writhe "skriget".

Note: Please R&R it give me the cookies I need to fill my brain whit ideas 8D