I. She really did love Thomas, with all her heart, maybe more than she'd ever loved anybody in her whole entire life. He made her feel free and light and happy, and it wasn't easy to make Ariana Osgood feel that way. And despite the way they'd had to love in secret, despite all the complications, she had to admit she had been planning their life together since the first time they had kissed. But then he had made her mad, and she was forced to kill him.
She'd always been a little impulsive.
And now that it was all done, she really did regret the whole thing. She regretted that she'd let herself get tangled up with someone like that, with trash like that, and most of all she regretted that he'd driven her to kill him. Because afterwards, she had been forced to stay at that stupid Correction Facility, sitting in that stupid cell, with that stupid girl who just would not shut her goddamn mouth, and she can't help but think that if she had stayed with Daniel, if she hadn't felt the need to cheat on him, if she hadn't even talked to Thomas Pearson, she'd be a lot better off.
And if that slut Reed Brennan hadn't ever turned up, she'd have one less regret.
II. Noelle Lange was the best friend she ever had. If there was one thing Ariana missed, it was definitely the brunette. She missed Kiran and Taylor of course too, but Noelle was the most important. She had understood her, like nobody else ever had.
She had just understood her too well, apparently .
Sometimes, more like all the time, Ariana thinks about how life would've been if Noelle hadn't found her out. She would've been sitting at Easton, in Billings, with Noelle and Kiran and Taylor and Natasha and the Twin Cities, and… Reed.
Ariana couldn't even think about her, so she shoved her mind back in the direction of Noelle.
She missed her. God, she missed her. Sure, the ending of their friendship hadn't been very pleasant. But maybe if Ariana could just explain her logic to Noelle, the way Thomas had pushed her and pushed her until she had finally snapped, maybe Noelle would understand.
They were best friends, after all.
III. She had known Kaitlyn was evil, she just hadn't know why, or how severely. She had never trusted the girl. Not once. Ariana had always been good at reading people, and although Kaitlyn's intentions had been unclear, the fact that she wasn't who she seemed was not lost on Ariana.
She had just let Kaitlyn push her too far, and had been caught off guard. That could never happen again.
She hoped one day she'd see her again. Ariana hoped to death that one day she'd see that bitch, and she planned to murder her as soon as possible.
She deserved it, and Ariana was all for giving people what they deserved.
Thomas had been the first to figure that out.
IV. She regrets killing Briana Leigh. Ariana regrets it so, so much, and there's not much in life she regrets.
Three murders. She regrets one.
Sure, she misses Thomas. And the second murder had been an impulsive mistake.
But Briana Leigh didn't deserve to be killed, and the other two sure as hell did.
She can't forget the look on Briana Leigh's face, the way she struggled, the surprise and confusion. Ariana had murdered her, watched the surprise in her eyes, and all she remembers thinking was that finally the bitch was getting what she deserved.
It's the first time Ariana considers herself a cold-blooded killer.
V. She wishes she could still be Ariana Osgood.
She doesn't like this life of pretending, even though she's lied her whole life. She wants to be herself. She wants to be a normal girl, who loves her parents, hangs out with friends, and goes to Easton Academy. She wants to be a Billings girl. So she had killed a couple of people. So what?
Hadn't God made it so everyone should be forgiven?
She was done with pretending, and some nights it was all she could do to not lose everything and tell someone who she really was. She didn't like this.
But she had a life again, and Ariana knew that was a privilege.