Hey, this is the first chapter of If I Were a Boy. I came up with this while listening to the song by Beyonce, and for some reason it reminded me Sakura Haruno and the boys of Narutoverse. Hope you enjoy, please review.
1. there may be a lemon later on, and if so, I will be upping the rating.
2. This will more than likely consist of a mere 3 to 4 chapters, depending on whether or not it goes according to the planned plot. My stories tend to have a life of their own.
3. If there is OOC, I'm sorry
4. Do NOT flame
Sakura stared at herself in the mirror, hating the pink locks that fell around her shoulders, framing that too soft face and large jade eyes no one ever took seriously… that including her teammates.
Sighing, she turned from her reflection briefly to pick up the pair of scissors resting on the small pink bag on top of the toilet.
Turning back, she began to chop off her hair, watching as it fell in a cloud of strands, slowly filling the sink.
She didn't stop until it reached her ears and spiked out like Narutos, though it was shorter.
Staring, she contemplated her new look with a critics eye before shaking her head. She still looked…so ridiculously feminine, so utterly un-shinobi like. In that moment of time, she suddenly hated that she were female.
Why couldn't she be born male? Strong instead of weak…so very weak….she wanted her teammates to look at her with respect instead of indulgence. She wanted Naruto to not hold back, and for Sasuke to actually listen.
Maybe her sensei would have treated her differently as well…but…that would never happen. Life had deemed her to be born as a female…but she would be a better boy then those men. If she were a boy, even just for a day…she would show them what a man should be.
She'd show them how to treat a female…how to show them how strong they were…how much they deserved their respect and attention.
Shaking her head again at the ridiculous notion, she rinsed the sink, watching the water wash away the remains of her futile attempt. She watched as they disappeared down the drain, along with her hopes, leaving her drained and weary.
These days she couldn't seem to find the sunlight in her life, couldn't seem to grow and reach past the dense branches of trees that now overshadowed her life…growing far more magnificently then the small Sakura tree, hidden in the shadows.
"If only I were a boy…" she sighed, turning off the tap and forcing herself to not meet her reflections eyes. She was afraid to see that familiar empty look…she didn't want to see it. Sakura whirled on her heel and left the small bathroom of her studio flat, and moved to her drawers as she threw her towel on the bed after toweling her newly cut hair dry. Looking through her clothes, she grabbed a dark t-shirt that was probably the only item she owned that bordered on masculine. Slipping it over her head, she didn't bother with binding her breasts, finding herself not caring that day.
Slipping on some black shorts, she ruffled her hair with her fingers before slipping on her sandals.
/Why couldn't you be a boy for a day/
That familiar voice spoke in her mind, slyly suggestive in its tone. Tying her hitae-ate around her neck, she paused in the process of finishing the knot. 'What?'
/Why couldn't you be a boy for day/ The voice repeated calmly, traces of excitement could be heard though. Sakura snorted, sardonically, done with the hitae-ate she slipped on some kunai. 'Because of several reasons…one is that it's physically impossible.'
/Not as impossible as you think/
On her way out the door, her hand paused on the door handle. "What exactly do you mean?" she asked out loud, her heart thundering in her ears. Inner Sakura smirked at this, pleased that she had her attention.
/You know of the pills that Tsunade assigns to those on special missions…the ones that require them to alter their appearance…and in rare cases their gender…/
For a moment, she stared out into space, thoughtfully, before realizing that she was actually considering it. Stiffening, she pulled the door open and stepped into the bright sunshine. 'No way…there is no way that Tsunade would agree to it. Those are dangerous anyway…you have no idea when they could expire and I would transform back. There is also the chance I might not. That is why it is only used in extreme cases…' She pushed Inner Sakura into the far recesses of her mind and forced herself to focus on the day ahead of her.
She had training with Kakashi that afternoon and she could afford to be a little late, considering he wouldn't show up until a couple hours after the set time. Sometimes she counted her blessings considering her predictable sensei.
Ignoring the inquisitive stares sent her way, she made her way to the popular ramen stand that Naruto frequently visited.
As expected, Naruto was there, slurping down noodles in a somewhat amusing display of gluttonous sin.
"Hey, Naruto." She said, sitting next to him, and running a hand through her hair as she nodded when the waitress asked if she wanted her usual bowl of miso. He turned his head to smile brightly at her, but ended up choking on his noodles, nearly upending his bowl on himself.
Sakura raised a lazy eyebrow at him, knowing full well what had caused the reaction. "You okay there, Naruto?" she inquired, innocently, patting him firmly on the back.
Naruto wiped his mouth on his sleeve, and turned fully on his stool to stare at her full on. "Your hair, Sakura…" he began tentatively, gesturing towards his own hair as he took in her appearance. She seemed…almost tired…and so un-Sakura.
She fingered a strand of hair, and nodded. "Yeah…I kind of wanted a change…a bit of an impulsive whim."
He nodded, unsure, and asked, quietly, "Are you okay, Sakura?"
Sakura looked at him, surprised at his sudden seriousness but nodded, assuredly. "Yes, I'm completely fine, Naruto…"
He studied her worriedly out of the corner of his eye as she accepted the miso graciously and began to spoon the hot liquid into her mouthing. Sighing in appreciation, she ignored his attention and focused on the soup and the warm feeling of it sliding down her throat and resting comfortably in her belly.
"So…Naruto…" she murmured, spooning the rest of it contents and swallowing it. Glancing at him through her lashes, she went on, conversationally, "How is Hinata?"
He blinked. "Huh?"
A bit annoyed with his ignorance, she continued, pleasantly, "You know, she's a nice girl…and she seems to really like you."
With discomfiture at the unexpected topic introduction, he shifted awkwardly on his stool and focused on his nearly empty third bowl. "Uh. Yeah…I guess." He mumbled, uncommitted. Scowling, she thought of the girl who continuously blushed whenever Naruto spared her a glance and who always was there with a smile for him. In fact, Sakura couldn't remember that girl after being negative towards or about Naruto. She seemed wholeheartedly committed…something that the boy in front of her seemed to fail to see. It made her uneasy how much it seemed to remind her of her relationship with Sasuke…
/You think that you could be a better man/
"Absolutely," She agreed without thinking, and then paused when she realized that Inner Sakura had chosen to rear her head again. Realizing her lapse, she slid off her stool and quickly paid the man behind the bar avoiding Narutos curious stare.
"See you later, Naruto…" she waved awkwardly, ignoring Inner Sakura's malicious chuckle.
/Admit it, you want to try it/
Shaking her head, she ran her fingers agitatedly through her ruffled boyish hair, feeling the beginning of a headache coming on. "Just can it…I don't need this right now." She muttered, tiredly, trying to find solace in the warm sunshine that fell on her face soothingly. Leaning her head back, she paused in her walk and allowed herself to relax and absorb the warmth for a moment.
Silence reigned and it seemed as if Inner Sakura had decided to spare her break. Opening her jade eyes, she lowered her chin and took a deep breath. Why was it so hard? Images of Hinata staring longingly at Naruto filled her mind and her jaw clenched. She knew what kind of heartache went along with a one-sided love.
She didn't want that for anyone else…especially a soft hearted girl like Hinata…who already had to deal with being the outcast of a gender fixated clan, the Hyuuga.
Gritting her teeth, she forced her feet to resume walking.
/Help her, then. You can prevent all of that…if you won't do it for yourself, do it for her…/
Faces blurred as she hurried through the streets and arrived at the training grounds. As expected, Kakashi wasn't there and she knew that Naruto would show up at any time. Sasuke, however, was there, leaning against the railing of the small bridge, his hands in his pockets as his dark stare focused on something in the distance.
"Hello, Sasuke." Sakura greeted him quietly, stopping beside him.
His stare didn't shift when he responded with a small "Hn".
Gritting her teeth, she pumped her fists as she tried to push down the steadily growing anger; it was this indifference that was the heart of it all. He thought he was just so damn superior…it didn't matter what she thought or felt. Much damn less how it affected her emotionally… he didn't even notice her change of appearance. And if he did…he obviously didn't find it important enough to acknowledge it.
How typical of the Uchiha...
Slumping back against the railing, she stared at her sandals...a random thought crossed her mind. What if the roles were reversed? How would Sasuke react to someone he cared about responding to his warmth with coldness? Coldness that never let up, never gentled its sting...growing worse with every passing day. How would he feel if he were in her position, feeling worthless every minute of her life and ending up in a curled up mess in his apartment that seemed forever empty...too large for its smallness. She was certain that he wouldn't be able to handle it. Hell, she couldn't and that was the down to quick description of her overall life!
Rubbing her eyes, she tried to ignore the pounding of the persistent headache and groaned. "This is going to be a long day..." she muttered beneath her breath, unaware of the emotionless stare from the boy next to her. He was watching her with those intense eyes of her, something flickering in their depths before focused ahead of him again.
She focused her chakra and slowly her headache subsided, until it gradually became a dull ache before vanishing. Sighing with relief, she lifted herself to perch on the railing and waited patiently for Kakashi to show up so they could begin their routine.
Closing her eyes, she raised her chin and again relished in the feeling of the sunlight filtering through the branches of the trees above her, washing her in gentle light, smoothing away her worries like a lovers hand. As she relaxed, her mind drifted and she found herself contemplatingly life, idly, imagining herself as a man and what kind she would be.
She would listen to the girl she loved...would treat her like the most precious being, protecting her while recognizing and respecting her strength and independence. If she were a boy...
/Show them, Sakura...show them what kind of man they should be/
Thanks for reading, I promise that I will be posting the next chapter very very soon. I know that this is quite a place to end the chapter, however I promise I'll make up for it with the next chapter. Thanks. Virtual cookies for all!