I have to admit, now, I have four stories to take care of.

This is a new one. I plan to update it as much as I can.

STAtbK-Well, this story is still going on. I just have to make the next Saihaite chapter, and it's gonna be LONG.

I'm Different- This is hold due to writers block.

Amuto One-shots- also on hold due to writers block.


A crazy, yet lovable family~

Dear Journal,

Today was hectic. Ikuto-sama had finally let me take a break…I wonder why. He never usually does that, and he always has work for me. But, somehow, I feel glad that I get to rest. Utau even said that he was acting weirder, and then we got into one of our, 'who do you like' conversations. I swear, Utau will never change.

Today Utau noticed something that even I never noticed. She thinks that I like Ikuto-sama. No I don't! He is a perv and a big idiot. That's why I love him. I told her that, and she kinda overreacted. I told her about everything. How I blush when he gets close to me and how he seems to tease me.

"It's all there! Amu, Ikuto-sama likes you!" Utau said. I quickly tried to quiet her down.

"Shut up, Utau! Not so loud! Ikuto-sama might hear you!" Then I took in what she said. "WHAT? He does NOT like me!"

"Yeah you're right, he loves you!" Utau exclaimed, and Rima came into the room. She looked like she just woke up.

"What is going on?" She asked. I stepped aside to let her through. She sat down on my bed. "Well, I'm waiting to hear an explanation. Come on!" She snapped.

"Well, me and Amu were discussing something that I brought up." Utau said and looked at me. I-

Amu stopped and looked at the door. "Come in."

Ikuto walked into the room, and stood in front of Amu. "Amu, what are you doing? What's that?" Ikuto looked at the journal in Amu's hands. She quickly hid it behind her back.

"I-It's nothing, I-Ikuto-sama." She stuttered. He sat down next to Amu and took the journal out of her hands. Amu despitely tried to get the book back, as Ikuto opened it. He skimmed it, looking at all the entries. He wasn't even close to the newest one, when Amu took the book back. She got up and put it away. Ikuto stood up.

"Amu, that's rude. I want to see it." He said. He started to walk toward the pinkette. Amu moved back until she reached the wall. Ikuto pinned her wrists to the wall. She was defensless. Ikuto moved his head to her ear. "Amu, please let me see that journal." Amu shuddered.

She never wanted to disappoint Ikuto. But she had to. "I-Ikuto-sama, t-that journal is m-mine and y-you can't see i-it." She tried her best not to stutter, but failed misrably. Ikuto smirked, and pulled away.

"Fine, I will find out what you wrote though. I will figure it out, eventually." Ikuto said, as he walked out the room. A flustered Amu sat on her bed, and hid her face in her hands.

"It really is there. That really does show that Ikuto-sama likes me. UGH, I shouldn't be thinking about that!"

"About what?" Utau stood at the door. Amu jumped up.

"U-Utau! You startled me! Don't do that!" Amu yelled, as Utau took a seaton the bed next to Amu.

"So…what happened between you and Ikuto-sama?"

"Ikuto-sama came in here, started reading my journal and pinned me to the wall. He said that he will find out what I wrote in that book." Amu explained and got the notebook out of it's hidng place. She looked at it, and blushed at the memory of Ikuto almost reading it. She shook it off. She couldn't get distracted now. She was busy thinking of how to keep her journal safe.

"Why don't you put it in your underwear drawer?"

"With my panties? Why?"

"Duh, Ikuto-sama won't want to get it then!" Amu smiled and nodded. Utau smiled and left the room, and Amu closed the door behind her. She sat back down at her desk and started to write again.

I mouthed, 'I don't know what to say' and Utau lookes back at Rima. "Well, we were discussing about the fact that Ikuto-sama might like Amu."

Rima's eyes widened. She looked at me. I shook my head saying no, don't say anything to me! Rima turned back to Utau. "So you're saying that Ikuto-sama might like Amu?" Utau nodded and Rima shook her head. I sighed, glad that she thinks differently. "Man, it took you until now to figure that out? That's sad." I gaped at Rima. She agreed? No! This can't be happening to me! Why?

Now, I'm starting to think that Ikuto-sama might really like me…

Possibly love me…

But, I'm not sure. He might like someone else. I would fall in love with Ikuto-sama, and he would love someone else, someone prettier and nicer.

A tear fell on the page that Amu was writing on. She tried to wipe away the tears that were escaping her eyes, but they kept coming faster and faster. She just couldn't control her emotions.

My feelings for Ikuto-sama are confused, as I am. But I have to keep believing, don't I? Who would say otherwise? Who would keep me away? After all, a flower must bloom. And I am that flower.

But…what if it's true? That Ikuto-sama doesn't like or love me?

I just wish that I would stop going in circles, never ending circles.

I have to break the curse I'm in…then, I'll be happy. Then I'll bloom. But this curse isn't easy to break. It's like I have little groups of people in my head. One group chanting, 'break it! Escape the curse! Escape and run away! It won't catch you!' while the others are chanting, 'leave them alone. You are happy the way you are now. Nothing can change that. You should keep the curse locked inside you!' and I just can't decide.

She wrote the next two sentences on the next page.

Life shouldn't be this hard for me! I can't stand people who tell me that I can't find a lover and all that…

It makes me even more confused.

Another round of tears started to fall, and Amu didn't care. She let them fall. They fell on her lap, the book, and on her desk. She couldn't control them anymore. She even let a few whimpers and sobs come out of her mouth. She put her head on the desk and closed her journal and let more sobs come out.


Ikuto stood outside Amu's door, listening. He was about to leave when he heard whimpers and sobs. He pushed his ear against the door, and heard a book close, and the sounds became louder. His face turned sad, and he couldn't bear to listen anymore. He slowly backed away from the door, and walked to his room. He closed the door, and sat down on his bed. He layed down, no cover, and listened to the sobs coming from Amu's room.


Ikuto woke up to bright light and the blanket on him. He took them off and opened his door. He saw a note. It looked like it was ripped from a journal or book. Amu.He thought as he took it off the door. It was only two sentences.

Life shoudn't be this hard for me! I can't stand people who tell me that I can't find a lover and all that…

It makes me even more confused.

He stared at the note in disbelief and ran to Amu's room. He opened the door, and Amu was there, sleeping. He walked fast to her bed, and looked at her face.

Her cheeks were stained and she looked horrible. He looked on her desk, and there the notebook sat, and it looked like a page was ripped from it. The pages had marked that looked like she cried while writing whatever she was writing. He picked the notebook, and was about to open it when he stopped. He couldn't open it. He took a pencil and wrote the sentence on the piece of paper that he found.

You don't have to be confused when I'm here.

He put it next to her head and walked out. Little maid Amu was getting a break today.

So, how do you people like my new story? Please R&R! I need 5 reveiws to make a new chapter~