Jesse/Quinn - Light On My Shoulder (Somebody to Trust)
"Can anybody find me somebody to love?"
Sure, we all love the song. It's almost impossible to be a Gleek and not like that particular Queen number. The anthem of Glee Club and one of the best New Directions performances; empowering, positive, genuine. But when you take the lyrics into consideration, you find something that doesn't always fit with the way we know the Glee crowd.
So forget that for a moment. Forget 'Somebody to Love'. What it's all about in the end (and in the beginning too) is trust. Can anyone find me somebody to trust?
Truthfully, it's become hard. Even among our beloved show choir, trust isn't always there. And that was exactly something both Quinn and Jesse desperately needed, desired, deserved.
And this is how they got it.
He was hurt. Really, he was. And as much as he wanted to deny it, Rachel Berry had a strange effect on him. An effect he didn't want anyone to have on him, and certainly not Rachel. That would mean he was subjected to something other than his dreams, that what normally pushed him forward each day, what he thought he was all about.
No, this time, real feelings got to him. Not that otherwise he was some kind of robot who had only felt joy when someone complimented him, felt anxious as he awaited a new review of a play he had done, felt sad when the sun didn't shine. He was only human, and just like everyone else, he had experienced every feeling of the spectrum. Well, all but one.
He had never cared for a girl like he cared for Rachel. When they had first met in the library and they did the duet of "Hello" together, he acted cocky, to say the least, but it was partly to hide his own nervosity.
This girl, talented to boot (he'd witnessed it firsthand at Sectionals, when he sat in the audience, maybe getting a chill down his spine when she belted out "Don't Rain On My Parade"), easy on the eyes (oh, understatement); okay, more like beautiful, that dramaqueen quality they shared, ... This girl, she really liked him, and he liked her back. To sum up, he probably wouldn't come any closer to finding an equal.
But then there were things about her life that would always stand in their way. Namely, her two ex-boyfriends.
So when an overly-enthusiastic Rachel showed the somewhat uninterested Glee Club her rendition of "Run Joey Run", it felt as though someone had punched him full-on in the stomach. And while Puck and Finn had protested, he hadn't said a word, not wanting to throw things her way that he would regret later on.
But she had hurt him with it, more than she knew.
And so he felt he had the right to save his honor and stand up for himself. He walked up to her after Glee. She looked gorgeous, as always, but he had to ignore it. Still, his heart jumped at her hopeful smile when he neared her. But instead of letting it all go, taking her in his arms and just forgiving her, which was what he really wanted to do, he told her what was really bothering him about her attitude, about the way she handled their relationship. He'd asked around about her, and he shared what everyone had said.
"The interesting part was that even though no one particularly liked you, they all said that you were a person that could be trusted."
He listened to her arguments, her 'pathological need to be popular', and how she was if the idea that especially he would understand. And sure, on some level he did. As performers they were totally alike, but at that time, either he or she had become a different person. He needed to figure out who that was, what that meant for them and if they could still work. He hoped his findings would be positive. It wasn't his intention to stomp on her heart, but in order to move forward, this step needed to be taken.
"As the guy who gave up everything to be your one and only, I just can't see past this. I should have been enough for you, Rachel."
Her face fell this time and he knew by the way she blinked that she was trying to prevent emotion from taking over.
"I knew you'd break my heart." she simply said in a small voice. It was an unexpected reply that pushed his buttons and made a flicker of anger boil up inside him. No 'I'm sorry', no proposal to get past it, just her accusing him of breaking a promise.
"Well, that's the funny thing about reputations. Everyone thinks I'm the big heartbreaker, but the fact of the matter is, you broke mine first." he countered in a hushed voice, gazing in her eyes, but then straightening himself with that bit of confidence he seemed to hold somewhere all of the time.
"Do me a favor. If we end up next to each other in ballet, just do your arabesques and piques in silence. Don't talk to me." (That would be the easiest for both of them. Something had broken between them, he could feel it. Things wouldn't be the same anymore.)
With that, he brushed past her, managing to form a small smile for Tina and Mercedes who were eyeing him suspiciously. The bell rang that indicated the end of the school day and he walked down the hall with the rest of his fellow-students who were ready to go home.
But he wasn't sure if he was.