This is wrong
I should be gone
Yet here we lay
'Cause I can't stay away

I sighed and drew my coat tighter around myself, glancing at the clock for what must have been the fifth time in ten minutes. I could see the barman watching me out of the corner of my eye, and I looked around to see if there was somewhere else I could sit without being, well, scrutinized.

But the only chairs were all occupied, so I was stuck where I was.

I shouldn't be here. It was stupid, idiotic and a whole lot of other things that my dad would be furious to hear me say. But still, I was here, just like I had been all those times before.

All for her.

And where was I? At some fancy as shit hotel in Seattle, one of the three we usually went to. I ordered another drink as I downed the rest of my last one. One good thing about having century-old vampires as your near enough extended family was the fact that they good get you amazing fake ID's.

I had no idea what my name was today, but as long as I could keep consuming enough alcohol so I didn't feel as guilty as I should, then I was fine.


The reason for my guilt. God, if he knew what I was doing … but no. He didn't, no, he couldn't. Because if he did, well, I was sure that I wouldn't be as mobile as I was.

And her? Yeah, I'm pretty sure he would have killed her by now.

We never meant for this to happen. I loved Edward … and I think I still do. And she loved (loves?) Jasper. But that night … that night when she kissed me for the first time …

Ever since then, we've never been able to stop.

And now, if I'm being honest, I'm pretty damn sure that I'm falling for her, too. And if it's not love, then lust is a pretty strong emotion. Or maybe that's just what she inspires.

After all, she is incredibly gorgeous.

She was the second of the Cullens to catch my eye on that first day. Edward had been the first, of course, but …

I don't know.

There was just always something about Alice that was so damn loveable.

Roses bloom
In your dirty room
I come to play
'Cause I can't stay away
No I can't stay away-ay

I don't think either of us would have guessed, when we first laid eyes on each other, that things would turn out like this. I don't even think we thought that things would turn out like this even after that first night.

Edward had been away hinting, and he'd left Alice to watch me. And, well, he'd been … holding back in some departments. And there's only so much rejection a girl can take before she cracks …

"Bella, don't be ridiculous. Edward loves you, he just wants to sty in control. He doesn't want to hurt you." She'd been sat on my bed, cross-legged, facing me. I was nearly crying when she came over – Edward had left in a hurry, after I'd apparently asked for too much from him.

It was just a kiss.

Well, ok, maybe a little bit more, but I'd only undone one button! It wasn't a crime or anything, God. Such an overreaction to leap out of my window with a muttered bye and a crap reason as to why he suddenly needed to hunt.

"No, he can't. Because if he did, he wouldn't … I'm just not pretty enough, that's what it is! He doesn't want me because I - "

"Bella. Stop it – you're beautiful, and my brother knows that."

"You think I'm beautiful?" I'd just kind of looked at her with shock written over my face – she was much more perfect than I ever would be.

"I don't think, silly, I know." I didn't say anything else, and she, too, fell silent. My hands were bunching up my sheets, curling into fists and then releasing the material, and my eyes followed the movement. It relaxed me, for some strange reason.

When I looked up again, Alice was barely an inch away from my face. And, I remembered inappropriately thinking, my lips.

"You really don't believe me, do you?" Her breath washed over me, that sweet smell that I couldn't place, and my eyes fluttered closed and I leaned inexplicably closer, needing more.

"No, not from you. You're perfect, and I'm …"

"Gorgeous, intelligent, selfless, thoughtful … shall I go on?" My eyes flickered open to stare into hers, which had gone to molten gold in a matter of seconds. There was a conflict brewing there, I saw, and within a second it was filled with determination as she leaned closer and finally, finally, pressed her cold lips to mine …

And ever since that night, we haven't been able to stop. Things didn't get much further then, because her visions had told her that Edward would be back pretty soon.

I shook it off as misplaced want after what had happened previously, but as the days passed and I spent more and more time around Alice, I felt the need to touch her, to stare at her, to be with her, even to kiss her on several occasions.

After that, I always had to make sure that Edward was in the room whenever Jasper was there, too, for the fear that he would discover the newly developed feelings I was having for his mate.

It was only a week later, when the whole family, save for Alice had gone hinting, leaving the two of us very alone in the Cullen house.

I'd never forget that night, either, the night that she touched me for the first time …

I'm conflicted
I inhale now I'm addicted
To this place
To you babe
I can't stay away
Can't stay away
We get up, we go down
Then we go one more round
It's wrong, they say
I can't stay a- I can't stay away
No I can't stay a- I can't stay away

I broke out of my reverie when I felt cold hands slide around my waist and even colder lips press against the shell of my ear.

"You look worried. Stop it." She didn't sound disapproving, and she didn't look it, either, as I turned to face her. She'd hinted since I'd last seen her yesterday, I noted. Her eyes were butterscotch, and they were staring at me with an intensity that would have made me blush just a few months ago.

But not now. Alice had changed me, and for the better. I was no longer as self-conscious as I used to be, and gone were the times when I would be easily embarrassed. No, now I hardly blushed for anything, I was beginning to appreciate myself a bit more.

I was thinking that mostly had to do with her obvious praising of my body rather than anything Edward had ever done for me. He still wouldn't let me get past first base.

Aren't boys supposed to be the horny ones, not the girls? Well, the two of them together had certainly changed that around.

"I just don't want us to get caught." Something flickered behind her eyes but before I could identify the emotion it was gone.

"Would that really be so bad?"

"What?" I felt like she'd slapped me. Did she not want to be with me anymore? That hurt more than anything, more, even, than when Edward had left me. I felt tears form behind my eyes but pushed them away hastily.

If she didn't want me, I didn't want her to see how much of an effect she had on me. "Do you not want to do this anymore?"

"What? No, Bella, no. That's not what I meant!" She slid into the seat opposite me, her eyes burning with an even stronger intensity as her gaze locked with mine. I couldn't look away – I'd never been able to look away.

"I don't understand." And I didn't. I was confused as fuck, a feeling I didn't particularly like.

"I meant … well, Bella, honestly, me and Jasper haven't been right for a long time. Before that night, I'd been feeling things, things I shouldn't have been feeling towards you, and he noticed.

"I tried to get rid of them, but I couldn't. So I kissed you, and things ended up like this. It's not fair to you, Jasper or Edward or even the rest of our family if we keep sneaking around like this, behind their backs.

"I want to tell them, Bella. Jasper suspects a lot, and we haven't … been together, properly, for a while. I don't know what Edward will do, honestly, but I want to try. I need to try, because I can't keep this up, Bella. It's killing me."

I was, stunned, for a few more seconds, letting things sink in. Because it wasn't like I hadn't been thinking about this for a long time. I wanted her, of that I was sure.

But I wasn't so sure about Edward. And if I did love him, care about him, then telling him the truth would be the best thing.

But if I did love him, really and truly, then I couldn't keep this up with Alice. It wasn't fair to either of them.

So I had a choice to make.

I was numb
For you I come
Night and day
And I can't stay away
No I can't stay away

It wasn't ever really going to be a difficult one.

Yes, I had been in love with Edward. Emphasis on the past tense. But now? No, now, faced with this choice, between her and him?

No. I loved her more than him. I can't say the exact moment that my feelings for him turned platonic, but I could see, now, that the thought of losing Alice paralysed me with fear, while the thought of losing him filled me only with regret.

Maybe it was because he had already left me, and she hadn't. Or at least, not by choice. Maybe it was because she had never pushed me away, or become too overprotective.

Actually, there were a lot of maybes.

But, looking at her in that moment, the vulnerability in her gaze as she wondered what I say, who I would choose, there was nothing that I could ever want more then her.

In those last few months, she had become everything to me.

"I don't want to hide any more, either, Alice. I … I love you." I saw her eyes glaze over as I vision overtook her, and she was with me a second later. I didn't ask what she saw, because I knew she would tell me if it was important.

If not now, then later. Which is more than Edward usually did. But no, that was enough of him. I was with her, and that was al that matters.

"I love you too, Bella. I have for longer than you know, I think. Maybe longer that I know." I leaned forward to capture her lips with my own, and I felt her surprise. I wasn't really known for being affectionate in public.

Especially with her – a few people around here were small-minded, but right then, I didn't care. I wanted her, and that was all I needed.

I'm conflicted
I inhale now I'm addicted
To this place
To you babe
I can't stay away
Can't stay away
We get up, we go down
Then we go one more round
It's wrong, they say
I can't stay a- I can't stay away
No I can't stay a- I can't stay away

"I think we'd better take this to our room before the people around here get a free porno," she breathed against my lips when we broke apart. I silently agreed, because neither of us could control ourselves when we were together.

We were inseparable, inevitable, and nothing could stand in our way.

She grabbed my hand and tugged me to my feet, leading me to the elevators. I was tempted to throw her against the wall and kiss her some more, but there were too many people around.

But not inside the elevator, it seemed. She kissed me, this time, pressing my back into the wall and clutching at the belt loops of my jeans, tugging me closer. My hands were in her hair, and when she broke away my breaths echoed embarrassingly loud in the small space.

She smirked as she stepped back, and I was about to wipe it of her face when we reached our floor. Then I had no time to do anything as she pulled me to our room.

I had no idea whether it was a room we had been in before, because, frankly, I was more concerned with getting her clothes of than anything else. And so was she, because within a second she'd ripped my shirt in half and tossed it to the floor, and did the same with my jeans.

"Impatient, much?" But I was cut off by her mouth as she kissed me again, hard enough to make my head spin as her tongue met mine. Her hands were at my waist, pushing me backwards in the direction of what I presumed to be the bed.

My hands were clawing at the dress she was wearing, and when she pulled back to allow me to yank it over her head and toss it to the floor. Then she was trailing kisses in a blaze of fire down my neck and I was already beyond the ability to speak.

My knees hit the back of the bed and I lowered myself on to it, shivering as she followed me down, her body flush against mine. My hands reached her hair again as her mouth moved down to my chest.

She kissed her way around the outline of my bra before undoing it and pulling it off me, and my hips bucked into her when she ensnared one of nipples in her cold mouth.

The moan that escaped me was almost guttural, and I felt her smirk against my skin as she moved to the other one and then down the rest of my body.

It had been far too long, really, since we'd been together, and neither one of us was in the mood for teasing.

I'm conflicted
I inhale now I'm addicted
To this place
To you babe
I can't stay away
Can't stay away
We get up, we go down
Then we go one more round
It's wrong, they say
I can't stay a- I can't stay away
No I can't stay a- I can't stay away

I didn't feel the loss of my panties like I should have done (I'd just bought them, and they were pretty damn nice), as Alice ripped them away. I only felt a desperate, all-consuming need to have her touching me in the most intimate way.

She wasn't going to give me that straight away, though, because I could feel her pressing more kisses along my thighs, by-passing where I needed her touch and heading for my lips again.

Her mouth captured my moan as two of her fingers thrusted into me with little warning. I coldness of her touch only heightened the pleasure, and I was already so close to the edge.

She could tell, because her pace slowed as she once again moved down my body, her lips only skimming my skin this time. She moved quickly, so by the time she'd reached her destination, I was barely registering that she'd moved.

So I was unprepared for feeling her mouth on me, and I was going to be gone in just a few seconds if she kept this up. And she did, her fingers quickening their pace as her tongue flicked across my clit.

When I felt her teeth flick over the same spot softly, I came undone, revelling in the feeling of her as my orgasm crashed over me. I gave into the waves of please as she made her way back up my body, before she kissed me, hard.

I can't stay away
I can't stay away
I can't stay away
I can't stay away

"I love you," she whispered when we broke apart, and I could only smile, still exhausted.

"I love you, too." She curled around me, still in her underwear, and I started to move to return the favour but she stopped me, pressing me back down into the bed.

"We have all night." I grinned as she pressed a soft kiss to my forehead, and I pressed closer to her, not even bothered by her icy temperature against my overheated skin. She was actually doing a good job at cooling me down.

"Can we do it tomorrow? Tell them? I don't want to sneak around any more." My voice was soft, quiet after the few minutes of silence, and I felt her smile into my hair as her arms tightened infinitesimally around me.

"Yes, love, we can. But we have tonight to be together before worrying about anyone else. You can sleep, if you want." But I knew she didn't really want me to, and I didn't want to either.

So I leaned to kiss her again, recovered enough to make her feel the same way I had done just those few moments ago.


Urg, I needed to write something. And this is what happened. Any mistakes, I'm sorry.

Might continue, but only after Taking Chances is done. Dunno when next update'll be, soonish, I think. I want to stay ahead, though, so only when I've done another chapter.

Tell me what you thought, if you want.