My Pleasure, Your Pain
Wow, it's a Harry Potter fic :D Ok, well, before I get into ANYTHING at all...
This fic is happily dedicated to my Devil Half Rainy! Happy belated birthday, Raina :) I loves you! ...also...an apology fic :( Sorry aswell I'll be there next year if you want :)
Anyways, another thing I must say: This is probably going to be my one and only HP fic because, for one, I don't really like the series...ahaha, probably not the best thing to say here, but what can I say? Doujinshi is just the awesome-est ever and it can get you into anything, since it got me into this :) Severus and James...aaaahhhh, love James... XD
LOL, but yeah, because I have never read the books and don't really know anything about James and Severus's personalities, expect OOC-ness (possibly to the extreme, but in a nice way, I hope :P) and this is also an AU because magic is just...gah, I have no idea what spells are what :P But everything is essentially the same, apart from the magic thing...I think... O.O
Oh! One more thing...sorry about the horribly lame title :P Couldn't think of anything else, haha... -sweat- Also not properly proof-read :) So don't be surprised at any mistakes x.x I'll fix it later...maybe! I just really wanted to get this out finally, haha :P
Um...so...yeah, I think that's about it :) I hope it turned out ok, haha :D Whenever you're ready...start reading, LOL.
EDIT: Since this, I have read the Harry Potter books, fallen in love, cried over everything, bought Harry Potter related jewellery and made plans to write more fics! I am not out of this fandom yet! :D
Severus Snape walked briskly to the library, his usual confined place of solitude, carrying his many textbooks out infront of him, there being too many to clutch to his chest as one normally would. His footsteps were quick and his strides purposeful, his dark eyes glancing about him, as if nervous. There was always someone there ready to trip him, even if he didn't always see them. Always the victim of the cruel practical jokes, Severus had learned long ago to watch out for the little signs that told him his dignity was once again in danger.
However, this one particular day, his thoughts were otherwise occupied with a Chemistry test he had the following week and, had he been paying closer attention to his surroundings, he may have noticed the subtle tapping of shoes behind him, dogging his steps, hunting him like prey...
And just like that, Severus found himself sprawled out on the ground and his textbooks flew out of his arms before scattering around him on the floor, parts of the books tearing slightly where other more unfortunate books' pages tore off entirely. He held his head tenderly as one of the books had nailed him when he fell and he looked up at his hunters, though he had a feeling he already knew who it was.
And sure enough, staring down at him, those mahogany eyes flashing with dark intention and light glinting off his glasses, was James Potter and his small but effective gang of pranksters, of which had tormented Severus since his first week at Hogwarts. Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Petigrew were spread out around James, backing him as they closed in.
Severus's eyes instantly narrowed as he took in James's tousled chestnut hair that fell softly against his forehead and slightly into his eyes, his arrogant smirk that always succeeded in stirring that all-too-familiar feeling of hatred in the Slytherin's stomach, his faintly sun-browned face that he only wished he could slap again and again until all his burning hatred had been released.
"What do you want now, Potter?" Severus asked impatiently, though he didn't think he really wanted to know what they were going to do this time. Last week they had attempted to get rid of his trousers by sneakily coming up behind him and tearing them down, much like they had done today, except instead of trying the same prank, one of them (most likely James) had outright shoved him from behind, his rough hands throwing him into the ground. Now that Severus mentioned this to himself, he realised his back was slightly aching too. God, he was so tender!
Grimacing at the thought, he randomly noted how the pranks were getting more and more explicit as the weeks carried on. When he realised Sirius, the black-hearted right hand man of James, was speaking to him now to answer his question, what he said made him even more alert to the situation.
"You'll found out soon enough, Snape. You'll remember it for the rest of your life...and so will everyone else at Hogwarts." Here, a cruel smirk marred his admittedly handsome face, warping it into the face of a torturer. His torturer. "How about it, James? Ready?" Sirius's sly grin towards his best friend definitely did not assure Severus. Not that anything the Gryffindor did would assure him anyway.
That was about the time his gaze was once again averted to his prime bully and, consequently, the substantial amount of coiled rope that was being held by said bully. Alarm rising, Severus's eyes darted up to meet James, the first feelings of fear beginning to leak into his dark orbs.
"...what's the rope for?" he asked firmly, but quietly so as to cover the shake in his voice, "What the hell are you planning to do to me?" At this, James grabbed him by the collar with both hands, dragged him up and slammed him against the closest pillar. Low laughter echoed through the empty halls. What a coincidence no one was around yet again to help him.
"We are going to strip you of more than just your dignity today, Snape." At the sound of James's hard voice, Severus was struck still, suddenly oversome with a sort of terror. "We're going to bare you to the whole school, tie you to this pillar where everyone can see you...and we're going to laugh as you're exposed to the world." James's breath ghosted over the sensitive skin of his cheek, hot and threatening. A shiver slowly made it's way up his spine and he pressed himself into the pillar to separate himself from such close personal contact with his hated bully.
A bead of sweat trailed its way from his forehead all the way down the side of his face. He wanted to wipe it away, but first noticed James watching with irrational interest as the little droplet continued its journey downward, slipping under his jaw and sliding down his slender neck, his eyes following intently until the droplet finally disappeared behind the collar of Severus's shirt. All the while he had a very confusing smile on his face of the likes he'd never seen James with. It unnerved him even more and he shivered against the pillar again.
A chuckle was heard above him and Severus raised his head; the look he gave his enemy was one of pure loathing, his lips turning up in a vicious sneer and his eyes narrowing until they were slits. At this, James only laughed and, with a dark gleam in his eyes, he...started moving one of his hands downward? It stopped at his collar and Severus's eyes went dinner plate-wide as he witnessed the Gryffindor's nimble fingers pop the first button of his shirt open.
"W-What are you doing? Get off me!" Roughly, he tried to shove the taller boy away but he was quickly subdued by the underlings that participated in the many humiliations he'd previously endured. He felt his arms being held down, curving around the pillar painfully as Remus and Sirius held him open for James's cruelty. And then suddenly, what James was saying before was making a bit more sense.
We are going to strip you of more than just your dignity...
"Oh God..." Horror widened his eyes more as understanding flooded his face and he watched James's expression grow delighted as he realised he finally understood what was going to happen to him. Smirking with anticipation of the destruction of Severus, he craftily popped another button, accidentally brushing against his chest in the process. Oddly, the sensation didn't feel quite as bad as he thought it would and to cover his surprise, he forced himself to think about what was actually happening at the moment. The sensation did not match his situation.
"No! Get away from me! Get off!" Letting his survival instincts take hold of his senses, he lashed out at anything and everything within his range. Surprised by the usually stoic man's assault to save himself, Sirius found himself unprepared and with an elbow shoved into his face, drawing blood from his lip and Peter kicked in the shin, making him cry out in pain. He briefly wondered whether or not he was hitting James, the one he really wanted to hurt, but he was currently very focussed on getting out of the grips that held him and were gradually loosening. Then he heard a gruff exhale of pain and recognised a trace of James's voice in that breath of air. Sure enough, the grip on his collar let go and he forcibly untangled himself from the others' grasping restraints and launched himself away.
He tripped, getting his foot caught on another's body, but he didn't stop to see who and, without skipping a beat, he ran.
He flew around a corner, searching for the place with the most people. There would definitely be a professor or prefect walking around at this time of day if only he could find out where everyone had gone! And with the sudden feeling of dread clawing at his heart, he realised everyone would most likely be at the Hufflepuff vs. Ravenclaw football match. It wasn't compulsory to go to the game and so Severus had opted to spend his extra time in the library studying before he was jumped by James and his gang. As the dread held his heart in a death grip, he felt his emotions trying to squeeze out of him like fruit juice but he desperately pulled them back. He couldn't let go now, couldn't show his fear now of all times.
James would forever taunt him for it.
His steps were slowing now, but he didn't stop. Instead, he ended up half-jogging, half-dragging himself away from everything, his thoughts spinning circles in his head and the weight of his dodgy escape pressing into him on all sides, frequently making him stumble. Why did they choose him as the unwilling victim of everyday humility? What had he possibly done wrong to offend them so much that they deemed him undeserving of civil manners? Why?
As these thoughts chased each other trying to find an answer, Severus furiously rubbed at his eyes, trying so hard to keep the tears from spilling. James...what did I do to you? He thought to himself, his footstep's gradually fading into the background as he came to a standstill. Looking around fleetingly, he took in the fact that he'd ran all the way out into the school grounds, more specifically the field with the unusually huge Willow. He breathed out a sigh of relief, still gasping for air and made his way slowly towards the familiar tree, settling under it's immense shade created by the leaves engulfing it entirely. Because he tended to avoid contact with people in general, no one knew that this was the place he went when he wanted comfort. He had unconsciously ran straight to the place he knew would help him.
So, believing he had left his tormentors far behind already, Severus collapsed to the ground at the Willow's roots...let out a shaky breath...
The thoughts and feelings and humiliation of all the years of torture flooded back to him in a single moment and of them all he had never known them to go that far. Why had they chosen now? And why such a prank as that? They were going to strip him and tie him to a pillar! When did bullies ever go that far? He felt water start to drip down his face and looked up to see if it was raining. The day was as clear and warm as spring was supposed to be. Wonderingly, he touched his cheeks and his fingertips came away wet. He was crying. Another sobbed wretched its way out his throat at this and more tears forced their way out his eyes.
He could let go here. Everyone is at the game or otherwise just not here. No one was around. Why wouldn't he, just this once? All these years he'd been trying to walk away and hide his feelings, his torment. This time, he'd run away and was even crying. After all that, didn't he deserve it?
"Just this once..." he whispered to the Willow, who rustled its leaves in approval aided by the wind. And as soon as he let down his wall, it was like he was releasing a dam from his eyes. The tears came in torrents, cascading and staining his pale face. His voice turned raspy as his sobs increased in volume and he started shaking with the effort of trying to pull himself together. But his emotions weren't done with him yet; he could try as hard as he wanted, but they weren't going to let him go so soon after being locked up for so long.
This lasted for what seemed like hours. He would constantly try to get himself back into check, uncomfortable with showing so much emotion in such a short space of time even if there was no one to witness it, but wouldn't be able to manage it before another memory of a particularly bad moment hit him full force right where his heart would be, spurring on another round of uncontrolled and poorly restrained tears.
And when he had exhausted his pain, his anger set in. He grit his teeth and clenched the grass underneath him. The tears continued to flow, but he didn't bother too much with them for now. He hated them. Hated them.
"What did I ever do to you?" he screamed at the Willow, ripping the grass out of the ground as he shot himself off his knees and suddenly punched the thick trunk of the tree. Pain crackled up his fist all the way along his arm, but it was barely registered as he screamed with rage again, only seeing the image of James staring back from the swirls in the trunk. "You humiliate me, insult me, you never leave me alone! I've done nothing to you! And you still continue to do this to me. You were going to go farther than you've ever gone...and you probably don't even care! What's wrong with you?"
Severus's rant at the tree was just making him angrier. He wanted to say this to their faces. He wanted to punch them, not the tree. He wanted to scream at them, kick and cry and unleash his fury on them all. But really, he was giving them too much credit. The one who he loathed with his whole heart, the mind behind all their cruel and painful pranks, the instigator and leader of the stupid lot who drove him insane everyday...
"...I...I..." he sucked in an unsteady breath, filling his lungs with air before screaming as loud as he could, "I hate you, James!"
He pushed all the air out of his lungs and into those four words, his voice roaring over the tree and scratching his already raw throat on the way out. It ended with a torturous choked sob that caused him to fall to the ground again, covering his mouth with his hand to muffle himself and squeezing his eyes shut to close off the tears. Neither was working too greatly.
And if he'd only been able to quiet himself, he would have heard them. The silent footsteps that tread softly under the lush grass, cushioning the steps even more, the still breathing not reaching Severus's ears over his own heavy breathing. He didn't notice anything around him until he heard a quiet chuckle, which he thought sounded very out of place at the moment. Immediately, he crushed his voice and whipped his head to face the intruder.
"That's a bit harsh, isn't it Severus?"
The extremely familiar voice tore through his ears and he couldn't believe his black luck. James Potter stood casually behind him, a small smirk gracing his lips and his eyes sparked as he saw the tears of which still fell from Severus's eyes, though not so strongly anymore, as he was making quite the effort to halt them. He scrubbed his eyes furiously and shot a half-hearted glare in James's direction.
"That's cheap, coming from you." He spat at him, registering the comment, "Why wouldn't I hate you, after everything you've done to me and what you almost managed to do to me?" His eyes were starting to leak again, but he held them back as best he could. His anger was beginning to rise in him again, but that, he also pushed down. What difference would it make now? James had obviously overheard everything he'd said and repeating them would just be pointless.
"Where's your followers, then?" he sniffed, almost embarrassingly noisy, "You're never without them."
"They're probably still reeling from your attack. They didn't expect you to fight back. You never have before." The answer was quick and came without pause, as if James had been practising what to say to Severus for this moment. Had he been expecting him to lash out?
They stared at each other a while and Severus realised at the same time James did that this was the very first time that the two of them had ever been alone. James had always confronted him with his friends to play parts in his new master plan to destroy him. Now he stood infront of him looking quite...awkward, with his hands shoved into his pockets and subtley rubbing the toe of his shoe into the dirt. Knowing the fact that they were totally alone unhinged his already frayed nerves and his diminished confidence and self-esteem caused him to sink slowly to the ground again, avoiding eye-contact even though he felt eyes on his every cautious movement. Siddling up close to the bottom of the tree, he pulled his legs up close to his body. He pressed his side into the huge tree and felt slightly relaxed against it, having done this many times before when he was stressed.
Of course, this would have worked better if he didn't have the person he hated most in the world staring at him.
Which brought up the question...why hadn't he done anything yet? There was nothing to stop him from doing what he was going to do this time. Severus was far too exhausted to fight back anymore. And he didn't want to admit it, but he was too scared at the moment to even raise his eyes from the ground and see what James was doing. The silence around them other than the soft rustling of the wind in the leaves was making him jumpy and after his outburst he was very emotionally unstable right now. The tension of having his Number One Tormentor near him and alone was bringing up all the horrible times plus new ones his brain was too muddled to remember when the rage was surging through him passionately before.
It was crushing him, his breathing suddenly speeding up again as he started panicking for a reason he couldn't quite pin-point. Maybe he was finally going mad after all these years. With his thoughts occupied again, and probably not at the best of times, he didn't realise he'd lost his grip on his tear ducts again and a sparkling drop had managed to squeeze it's way out forcefully.
That was when he felt James's presence approaching closer and he sunk into the tree, hating himself as he did so. Since when had he become so cowardly? James was standing right above him now and, just when he thought he was going to do something unpleasant, James lost the proud spark in his eyes, though his stare remained intense, and mimicked Severus's previous movements, slow and cautious, as if approaching an injured animal ready to strike – which, he had to admit, was almost exactly the case.
James moved like he was in a trance, almost not realising what his body was doing. His arm started rising on it's own, beginning to encroach on Severus's personal bubble; he knew this because this is when he started straining into the tree with wide, fearful eyes. It was like now that he'd let it all out, he couldn't reign it all back in. More tears trembled on his eyelashes and another spilled over. James hesitated a moment as his arm drew nearer, but ultimately let it do what it wished.
His slim fingers brushed against Severus's pale porcelain skin, just under his right eye, and gently wiped the tears away. Then, as if it had a mind of it's own, his hand trailed down, just caressing the smooth cheek of his victim of all these years. He felt Severus shudder, but he couldn't tell whether it was positive or not. In any case, he didn't pull away, and in just these few seconds of true contact had him wanting to feel just a little more. James, now on his knees, shifted himself closer to the Slytherin, closing the distance until they were almost as close as Severus and the Willow.
Severus was wondering what the hell James was doing and why he wasn't showing any signs of stopping. But at the same time, he didn't really want him to stop. He'd never touched him before, not really, and he felt something immediately when James touched his cheek – a rippling current that spread throughout his body, just under his skin. It made him shudder with an unexplained pleasure. But why should it pleasure him? This was James, the one he hated.
...but then, why did he want more? As the taller boy crept closer, all Severus was really thinking about was wanting the ripples back, wanting more touching, more...of James. When James was as close as he dared to go, his expression showing he was just as bewildered as himself, Severus let him tilt his head upward, the hand idly drifting lower and lower, down his neck and over his chest – this was when he realised that he had not remembered to rebuttoned his shirt that James had previously unbuttoned – and stopped to rest where his heart was. It was beating eratically and yet he hadn't noticed until it was brought to his attention. He must be more focussed on James than he thought he had been.
In fact, it turned out he was so much more focussed on James that it came as a jolted surprise when he finally noticed that, somewhere during the mini-exploration of James's hand, he'd lifted his own to clutch at the sleeve of James's robe, pulling him closer. As realisation dawned at this, a rush of blood surged into his face and his eyes shot up to see if James had noticed too. Their eyes connected and the pleasant bubbling that shivered under his skin increased significantly, sending electricity all the way to his fingertips and flowing into James through the contact he had now established by running his hand from his sleeve up his arm to the sensitive spot where his neck meets his shoulder.
And all of a sudden, Severus's blush and his needy clutching was a bit too much for James and he jerked forward suddenly, surprising the both of them. Severus didn't even have time to do so much as gasp before his lips were being smothered by a warm pressure that molded oddly to his mouth. His eyes were wide but he wasn't seeing anything.
James was kissing him. Well...touching him with his lips, anyway. Neither of them dared to move their mouths against the other's, opting instead to gauge the reaction of the one they were kissing. James was over the surprise of suddenly kissing Severus, but he was confused as to why Severus wasn't pulling away. As he had stated earlier, he had every reason to hate the very fibre of his being. So then, why wasn't he pushing him away?
James was the first to pull away, but only slightly, keeping very close to Severus's face. His expression was very dazed and blank, as if as soon as he was kissed his brain had shut down. The blood in his body, however, seemed to be as alive as it ever would be and was flooding his face and coursing through him. James noticed with a sort of delight how he was trembling against him, their bodies close enough that he could have probably felt it even if Severus didn't have his hand pressed against his neck. When he seemed to start breathing again, James chuckled faintly and leaned in closer. As Severus was now a bit more alert, he gasped quietly and was about to open his mouth to protest when James cut him off effectively with a very odd sentence:
"You have a very cute blush, you know..."
And before he could reply, James had silenced him again with a kiss which was not like the first. There was much more movement, the soft lips pressing against his with a tender touch, but also an underlying sense of passionate that was very palpable.
"J-James...what are you...?" Severus was trying to get his words out around James's mouth, which wouldn't stop kissing him even if he was trying to talk. He tried to turn his head, but his will was melting underneath the heat James was producing with just his body and he found he didn't want to pull away. But it didn't really look like he had a choice anyway. Still, his muddled mind was telling him this wasn't what they were supposed to be doing and he tried once more to voice his thoughts. "We can't do this. I hate yo- haaaah..." Like before, he wasn't able to get out a fully formed sentence, but this was because of the very brand new sensation of James seizing the opportunity to slip his tongue into his mouth, exploring deep and sensually and causing molten heat to pool in his stomach.
James pressed himself into Severus, his hands starting to roam of their own accord. It didn't seem to bother him that Severus was forcing himself to remain unresponsive, even if all he wanted to do was fling his arms around James's neck and pull him closer, to bring his own tongue into play and be an equal to his enemy. It was like he knew he was going to win anyway. Hands carressed against his chest and stomach and he realised that James had finished the job of unbuttoning his shirt without him even noticing. Finally, James released his lips and he was able to breath again, but only for a short while as James did not stop. He kept kissing all the way down, following the trail the bead of sweat had left, but stopped and decided to nip at the junction of his shoulder and neck.
Severus's shirt dropped down his shoulders, baring more for James's pleasure. He slipped further down the tree, fighting a losing battle with himself as it was growing increasingly difficult to stay unresponsive. The feeling of James's tongue was just overpowering him and he couldn't stop the whisper of a moan passing his lips as James brushed a particularly sensitive spot. James chuckled lightly and slid lower, reaching his belly button and curiously dipped his tongue inside. This time, Severus didn't even think about stopping the moan that rose audibly from him.
He was getting hot all over and becoming irritated with himself for not letting himself go but at the same time trying to think why he was stopping himself in the first place. It was like...he and James were all of a suddenly just two people, not enemies or elite students at the prestigious Hogwarts Academy. It was...a relief of sorts. For once, he didn't have to keep up appearances and be the best in all the classes for the teachers. For some reason, with James, just James...he could express himself.
And still his annoying mind wouldn't let him give in! Why was he being so stubborn? The thoughts buzzed aggravatingly around his head as James began descending further and before Severus had realised it, his pants had been undone and tossed away lightning-quick. His eyes shot open and a shocked gasp rushed out of him. The look James gave him made him want to moan again but he restrained himself, throwing a hand over his mouth, and stared at him. "James! What the hell are you doing? I don't...aahh!" A hand slipped over his partially hard member and his restrained moan broke through. "I don't...understand you..." Tears gathered in his eyes again, the sheer enormity of the situation he was in getting to the pathetic remains of his nerves.
James leaned back slightly, sitting up to stare back at him, his voice lusting and empowered with control. "You don't have to understand, Severus. All you have to know it that I want this," Here, he smirked as he rubbed him again, making him shiver, "And I'm sure you do too." At this, Severus started to protest, but he was once again silenced. James's lips ravished his entirely, demanding a response from him this time. He grinded hard and persuasively against Severus's hips and in turn, almost without any conscious thought, Severus thrust himself upward and grinded back, finally drawing out a pleasured breath from James. Surprised with himself, the Slytherin's eyes glazed over a moment as a rush of electricity shot up his spine and made his vision unfocussed around the edges.
"...Uhh...James..." he murmured against the lips that were pressed so firmly to his. Severus let his own hands wander, momentarily swept away by the intense passion that was infiltrating the black void he usually hid behind. He traced through his shirt the subtle muscles James possessed, the tips of his fingers tingling at the feeling. He tried to mold himself to James's body, getting as close as possible...but it wasn't nearly as close enough. He was about to break the kiss they were sharing due to lack of air, but James released him first and picked up from where he had left off.
A breeze blew past Severus's legs as he was exposed fully for James. He flinched as the air made contact with his member for just a second before he was engulfed in a very wet cavern that made him cry out in surprised pleasure. "Holy-! What...wha?" His hips arched off the ground as he felt the now-familiar moisture of James's tongue working it's magic and he forced his eyes open. James was staring at him while his mouth continued to move, his tongue swirling around the tip before he dipped his head and once again took all of him in. Severus moaned uncotrollably, his hands flying into James's hair and he tugged. Gently, at first, still cautious of this new feeling despite how much he was enjoying it. Then James moaned too when he felt the spindly, thin fingers twisting in his hair and the vibrations sent Severus into a fit of ecstasy as everything went white and he couldn't stop himself from climaxing into James's mouth, crying as he did so and tugging hard at his hair.
James swallowed as much as he could of the white substance then pulled away, wiping the edge of his chin which dripped with it and up to Severus again. He lifted a hand to caress his cheek, tilting it up so he could capture his lips again in a soft, gentle kiss that caused Severus's insides to bubble within him and he realised he was getting hard again. James felt it too and smiled into the kiss, his hips shifting against Severus, who had once been an unwilling victim and was all of a sudden mush in his very capable hands. And for once, Severus didn't mind. He moved against James with a tangible eagerness and the sounds and faces he was making was pushing James further to the edge and he wasn't even partially naked yet!
...oh, hang on. When did Severus get his shirt off? He gave a half-surprised laugh as he realised he was missing it and leaned down to nip at Severus again who moaned in unabashed pleasure, his eyes tightly shut and focussing on the feeling. Severus was so out of character and a bit mindless with unleashed passion, his fingers reaching for the zipper on James's pants and he gladly allowed him to do whatever he wanted in the moment. With his help, they came off easily and was discarded along with the clothes that Severus had had on him. Severus's shirt was still hanging precariously off his shoulders, not taking any notice of them at all as he continued rubbing against James and stealing fire-hot kisses from James, making it now his turn to try and keep up.
James touched Severus gently on his stomach and slowly, tortuously, made his way up, tracing every bit of him as he went. Up his chest, teasingly brushing his perk nipples briefly, which made Severus arch forward again. He travelled across his shoulders, down his arms and started pushing down the arms of his shirt. "Is it ok to take the shirt off?" he breathed hotly over Severus's hypersensitive skin and he let out a little whine and shuddered as the breath hit. He wondered why he would ask to do this when he hadn't asked him if he'd wanted him to do any of the other things, but he decided he couldn't be bothered thinking anymore and moved his arms into a more manoeuvrable position, letting James slip the shirt off his shoulders and leaving him completely bare to him.
And to James...he was amazing. Stunningly slim and soft to the touch, snow skin covered in goosebumps from the heat of his own body and a thin sheen of sweat that made his skin glow even more. His beautiful dark eyes were half-lidded and his hair was scattered haphazardly but, like his skin, silk smooth. And all of this, all of Severus, was laid out for him, ready to be consumed. The thought made his own skin ripple with excitement.
Severus was in a place he'd never thought he would be, lights exploding behind his eyes with every little thing James did, the constant mewls and moans that James effortlessly drew out from him becoming more fervent and urgent. He opened his eyes a bit wider to see what James was doing and watched as he positioned himself carefully between his legs. And all of a sudden, he was stricken with a new sense of fear, knowing very well what was about to happen if he let James continue. James felt Severus stiffen and smiled gently – and not one of his arrogant smirks, either. This smile was...genuine, meaning to ease him, comfort him. He wanted this, but it seemed he didn't want to hurt him.
As Severus was thinking this, he felt pressure at his entrance and gasped loudly as James's finger slipped in through the tight ring of muscle. Cringing, his breath picked up a notch and he clung to James, feeling like he was on fire. It wasn't such a bad feeling, really. Just a bit weird. It even started to feel kind of ok as James moved it in a slow in-and-out rhythm that got him panting again. Then it got uncomfortable when James added another finger. Severus started frowning, his moans dying down from pleasure to discomfort. James was watching him very carefully as he moved his fingers, stretching him as much as he could without causing Severus too much pain. His consideration, however, went out the window where Severus was concerned when his third finger was added and he whimpered softly, unable to hide his pain. When James tried to move his fingers this time, the feeling wasn't anything like the previous ones. It felt strange and sore and he wasn't sure if he wanted this anymore. The sounds he was making were mixed and James didn't know if he wanted him to keep going or pull away so he could punch him.
Severus was actually about to do just that when James accidentally – or maybe it was what he was searching for all this time, the sneak, – scraped against an amazingly tight spot inside of him that made him seize up in unexpected ecstasy that wiped out part of the pain and coaxed out of him a strangled sort of moan. He unconsciously pushed his hips up more and James smiled, relieved that he wasn't going to get hit but also that he was able to finally find that sweet spot he was looking for to make Severus writhe with pleasure.
Just to make sure, he slipped his fingers against that spot again, slowly caressing and Severus let out a well-deserved moan, loud and long as he continued to stimulate and James went back to biting at his neck. There was a very dark purple bruise there that looked strangely beautiful against the alabaster of Severus's skin. It's a mark, James realised to himself, To say that he's mine now. All mine. With that thought, he smiled to himself and licked the mark once more, relishing the taste of Severus, who shuddered beneath him as he worked.
When he felt he was stretched enough, James eased out his fingers and replaced them with his hips, now grinding against Severus's own with an eagarness that told them there was no going back now. Severus moved with James, following his lead like a lifeline. James's hands started trailing down his sides and flattened them out against his hips before caressing down his thighs to curve around his knees, bringing them up and pushing them back to allow him more access. Then, gently, he brought himself lower and eased himself inside Severus's tight heat that sent electricity shooting up to him and he groaned aloud.
Severus was almost the complete opposite. He was ready to get right into it once he got used to James's fingers. He thought it wouldn't be so bad now that he'd been prepared. He was wrong. The feeling of James pushing deeper, deeper, stretching him further – it felt like he was being ripped apart from the inside out. His arms instantly shot up to wrap around James's neck, pulling him closer the deeper he pushed himself in. Sighs of pain and pleasure from the both of them mingled together and got louder until James kissed Severus full on the lips, shocking him and caused him to open his eyes. James's skilled mouth worked lovingly against his and in a short moment Severus got lost in the kiss and then-
James slid himself forward, making sure Severus was well-distracted before doing so and sheathed himself completely inside. He was a bit breathless and shivering with anticipation, but he waited until Severus was over his glaring fit at him and stopped squirming his hips around, which was only driving the both of them crazier with need. Gasping, he finally gripped James's shoulders and whispered seductively into his ear, bringing him closer: "James, you bastard...move."
And that was all it took for James to pull his hips back and ease forward again, gently but with a determination to make the heat spread beyond just him, to make the fire light Severus and consume him irreversibly. Severus let out a soft cry and his eyes slowly closed, a crease in his forehead apparent. James kissed one of his eyelids, a sweet act that caused water to build up beneath them. A single tear slipped out and he kissed it away before kissing the other eyelid. His voice was the softest silk as he spoke quietly to him, the surety of his tone calming Severus oddly.
"Severus...I never told anyone this before...but I really like you. I love you..." as he talked, he began to move again, and this time it wasn't the same as before. It was...more intense. Like his words were pushing the pleasure out and into him, filling him up and before he knew it James had hit that spot again and he cried out his name, which drove James to do it again, bringing the same result. "I love you...and not just because I think you're...beautiful," His speech was clouded and slightly slurred with unrestrained pleasure, moans bursting from his lips as he tried to put his feelings into words. Severus's short nails dug divinely into James's back as he listened and he arched into the thrusts he was receiving eagarly, trying not to say his name again or make too much noise so he could hear properly.
"I love you because...you're smart. And...even though we put you through hell...you held on and kept moving forward...you didn't let us hinder you..." Here, his voice became a little pained which made Severus open his eyes to look at him, "You never deserved what we did to you. So I'm going to make it up to you..." He brought Severus closer to him and started driving into him, shocking his senses alive and dragging out a loud, uncontrolled moan. James's hands left Severus's knees to hold his hips and tilted them as he thrusted deeply again.
"A-aaah! J-James...uuuuh...please..." Severus was garbling nonsense that didn't quite make sense, crying openly without restraint, but James recognised him name came breathlessly from his lips more than once. His hips were thrown into Severus's thighs and he was sure there would be more bruises there later, but that didn't matter either. They were only more marks to say he was James's. And even though the thought sent electrical spasms up his spine...what was there to say that he was Severus's?
His mind was now slightly troubled through the mind-blowing pleasure, but he pressed himself closer still and suddenly switched their positions, rolling so that Severus was on top and straddling him, seated deeply into his lap which made them whimper and moan with every miniscule movement. "Wha...?" Dazed and slightly confused, Severus opened his eyes and accidentally showered James with his unshed tears that splattered gently against his cheeks, "Oh...I'm...ah, sorry..." Slowly, almost wearily, Severus absentmindedly reached up to touch James's cheek and wiped his own tears from his darker skin, relishing in the softness of the skin beneath his fingers. The face that he made then made James tense his hands on Severus's hips and thrust upward mindlessly, barely aware of what he was doing and bringing yet another euphoric moan and a sudden shocked jerk from him. He looked down to stare right into James's warm eyes and the breath was swept out of him at the tenderness of the stare.
"Severus...I want you to mark me like I've marked you," James said softly, moving one of his hands to tilt his chin towards him and kissed him sweetly before pulling away and saying, "I want you to want this too." And Severus could read the underlying message in his eyes, one that was so obvious to him that it made him blush:
James pulsed and throbbed inside him, practically begging for release. And frankly he, too, was also desperate for it. Taking a deep breath to steady himself, he first started gently kissing at James's neck, trying to remember how he did it to make him feel so good. And then, catiously, he glided against James's hips experimentally and ignored his own pleasure briefly to look up from his position to gauge James's. He was in complete bliss, helping him learn by thrusting up again and guiding him with his hands that had move back to his hips. Letting out a whimpering breath, Severus moved eagarly with him, leaning forward to bite under James's jaw, a place more visible than the marks James had left on him. Although James groaned and flinched slighty, he didn't seem to mind much.
To sooth the likely stinging of his sharp teeth, however, Severus licked softly underneath his chin, watching as James's skin raised and tingled with surprised delight. When he saw the bite becoming darker, it surprised him when he saw how big it seemed to be and Severus figured that was enough of a mark, combined with the clawing he'd done to his back. And in a way, he was also satisfied in his own work here, like he really had marked James in a way that made him his and only his.
He felt...comforted and...happy of sorts.
Smiling ever so slightly as he was lost in heaven, he leaned back, sinking himself deeper onto James, if that were even possible. Their rhythm and pace grew quicker and they couldn't help the moans and gasps and calling of names that swept past their lips. Severus watched, mesmerised by James's messy hair even more tousled than usual, sweat dripping down his face. His glasses had fallen off somewhere in the process and he hoped briefly that they weren't squashing them. Following right behind that thought, he decided he liked James's face without glasses, though he didn't mind them either. His straight nose and lightly tanned skin, dark eyelashes resting gently against his cheekbones was almost too much to bear.
And then James opened his eyes. His eyes smoldered and scorched every inch of his skin, setting him on fire and thrilling his senses. The dark brown irises warmed his insides too and the heat in his stomach was getting too intense. Severus bucked against him, his hips hurting as he took all of James into him, but he wasn't focussing on anything but James, his whole essense overwhelming Severus completely.
"Uhn...Severus...I love you..." James whispered to him breathlessly, pulling him down and embracing him again. Their bodies rubbed against each other electrically, the friction building deeper between them, the fire increasing to a fever pitch that had Severus's voice rising higher with pleasure. "James...I don't think...nn, I'm going to...!"
There was no other warning than that before the fire swelled to envelop them both and they were spilling at the same time, shuddering and climaxing together. Severus clamped down on James and the feeling was so amazing he couldn't help releasing himself and hitting Severus's sweet spot viciously, the both of them crying out unrestrained. A chill shivered it's way down Severus's back, relieving him of the heat that had now pulled back and out of his body, but left a nice warm happiness in it's wake. He rested against James's chest as he trembled above him, listening peacefully to the sound of his heart and their breathing slow. Just waiting.
James kept his arms around his shaking lover, soothing his hand over his back to relax him. The atmosphere was very quiet and calm and he rather liked it. Confidently, Severus kissed the place where James's pulse beat strongest and teasingly continued upwards, towards his mouth. His lips brushed once over the purple mark under his chin and felt James shudder. Smiling, he finally made it to Jame's mouth and teased him further, kissing the corners of his mouth before James growled at him playfully and yanked Severus down to first kiss his foreword, to which Severus's response was a shocking giggle that caused him to gasp quietly after it left his mouth. Blushing darkly when James looked down at him intensely amused, he looked away and went to lift himself off him. James helped by holding his hips and rising them, gently because he knew it was probably hurting by now which was evident by the flinch that he felt from Severus.
Sighing softly, he stayed where he was instead of going anywhere and layed back on top of James, which made him chuckle. Frowning, he bit him, not hard enough to make a mark but just enough to let him know he wasn't amused himself...which only made James laugh more. To shut him up, Severus figured all he needed was a gag. His own mouth was good enough, he thought. Smirking, he moved his lips against James's comfortably, slipping into it with ease. It felt so natural to kiss James now. It was so odd to think a while ago he'd wanted nothing more than to kill him.
Pulling away, James propped himself up on his elbows, smiling openly at him. "So," he started smartly and winked at him, "Have anything to say?" If it were at any other time, Severus was sure he would have hit him, but due to the growing pain in his lower back and a tiring ache that had settled into his mind, all he did was snuggle closer and kiss James again, this time on the shoulder. "As a matter of fact, I do," staring up with sleepy eyes that James admitted to himself was adorable, he said quietly, "...I love you too."
Grinning, James responded with, "Of course you do. I don't see why else you would have let me do all that to you."
"Oh, shut up now. I'm tired and I hurt."
"You're actually going to sleep right here?" With his eyes closed, Severus could picture James's eyebrows raised questionably and a smile playing around his lips. He made no move to respond and stayed silent, pretending to sleep. After a while of nothing, James sighed in mock annoyance and sat up slowly. "Well I guess I'll just carry you then. You won't be able to stand anyway with what we just did." Severus's eyes flew open and he got up defiantly.
"I can stand-" Was all he got out before pain bloomed everywhere and he let out an embarrassing squeak. He was on his feet already, but he wasn't able to move at all, rooted completely to the spot. At best, all he was able to do is hobble forward pathetically that looked something like the waddle of a duck or penguin. James was trying not to laugh but he really was failing badly. Severus's blush grew deeper and he yelled childishly, "Shut up! You did this to me! Ugh!"
"Oh hush, Sev," James smiled devilishly as Severus growled at his new nickname, "I said I'll carry you."
"I don't want you to carry me."
"So you want to try and get back to the common rooms all by yourself?"
"Why don't you want me to carry you?" James asked, knowing the reason and yet enjoying teasing Severus rather than the painful bullying he'd been put through.
"Because it's embarrassing!"
"Well too bad. Come on, I'll help you dress and then I'll pick you up and take you back to your room." James's tone implied that he was playing, but the look in his eyes said he was serious and he wasn't letting Severus do anything while in his 'condition'. Huffing, Severus nodded annoyed and held still as James dressed him. As he was just slipping on his shirt, he caught him and twined his fingers together with James's, hugging him close. "I...I do love you, though..." he whispered silently to James's bare skin, because James hadn't bothered to get dressed before dressing Severus, "I want to know you more. Do you...feel that too?" Hesitantly, almost scared.
Tenderly, James raised his hand to caress Severu's cheek and tilted it upward, forcing him to look him in the eye. "I meant every word I told you. Let me know you too."
And without saying another word, he touched his lips with Severus's in the sweetest kiss that thrilled and coiled their insides. Pulling away, James smiled at him lovingly and said, "Let's go now. Shower time."
And the tone in James's voice that implied so much made Severus laugh.
Well...that was interesting :) I wasn't ever expecting to write a Hary Potter fic, but doujinshi convinced me otherwise :D Gaaah, and another thing, this was a lot harder than my first lemon! D: Why? Maybe it was because I was working with something I had no idea about...And also I thought the ending was a bit awkward T.T I didn't know exactly how to end it, so it pretty much just stopped, haha -sweat Meh, well, it's done now and I can't take it back :P Why would I want to? You like it or you don't, whatever :D
...but please review! :D I'd really like to know if this was ok because, really, I had no idea what I was doing x.x Haha, but hope you liked it too, Raina :) All for you~ :D
Byes for now, peoples!
MORE EDIT: Yes, I realise Severus said "I love you" faaar too quickly for the situation. This was a while ago now and back then, all I cared about was a happy, mushy ending rather than the ending making sense as well. In sight of this, I have actually thought of another, more suitable way to end this, but I am too lazy to write it, also having lost interest in this pairing XD I might come back to it, I most likely won't but just be aware that I am aware of this amateur writer's mistake, thank you :)