Title: Proof Quinn Fabray is Gay
Rating:T, PG-13. Implied crazy sex. No details.
Spoilers:None, really. A few references from random episodes, but no proper spoilers.
Summary:10 pieces of evidence of Quinn's Gayness
Disclaimer:I don't own Glee, the songs, or even the characters. I only own my plot. My convoluted, crazy plot. Not meant to be taken seriously.
1. She stares at girls' asses like, all the time. Discreetly, of course.
2. As much as she kind of wants to back away in faint disgust, she more than kind of wants to watch when Brittany and Santana make out. Unless Santana sees her discreetly perving on them, then she makes a big fuss and stalks off like she totally didn't want to be there in the first place.
3. She doesn't complain when Rachel's skirts take a turn for the shorter. In fact, she kind of sympathises with Finn. It's kind of hard to tear your eyes away from legs like that. She wonders whether the girl could have been a good athlete. Probably. She definitely had the legs for it. She'd probably end up being a 'star' player, too.
4. Getting pregnant with Puck wasn't the worst moment of her life. Having sex with him was. Horrible, terrible, repressed night. Thank god for alcohol blurring the memory.
5. The second worst moment(s) of her life was Finn's constant sloppy kisses. As Sue Sylvester puts it: Sloppy babies!
6. She maybe, kind of accidentally clicked on a lesbian porn site ad. And maybe she kind of accidentally watched the 6 minutes and 4 seconds of video. Three times. And maybe she kind of accidentally liked it. A lot.
7. When she calls Rachel Berry 'Man Hands', she wonders what those hands would feel like running up and down her back. Hypothetically. And what those hands would feel like cupping her face. Hypothetically.
8. Upon close examination, she finds that she can appreciate Brittany's ass a lot more than she can appreciate Puck's. Not that they aren't both very good asses, but the fact is that Brittany's ass is connected to a much slimmer body and some very nice legs. Either way, she likes watching Brittany's ass sway during practice more than she likes watching Puck. She's timed herself. The most time she could bear to look at him and like it were maybe a couple of minutes. The timer ran out before she stopped looking at Brittany.
9. In fact, she doesn't like watching Puck anymore. His Mohawk is kind of annoying now. She's actually wondering how she ever found him attractive. Yes, he's got very nice arms, but she doesn't fantasize about hanging off them anymore. The haze of alcohol is apparently quite powerful and thick. And stupid, too. 'Trust me'. Really?
10. She's shagging Rachel Berry every free moment they have together. But that's no big deal. Just avoid the last stall in Block B's second floor girl's bathroom. Really. Don't go there. They were almost caught the last time and they may not have had time to remove certain... items. Just don't go there.
I have no idea where this came from, but if you liked it, or if you laughed, leave me a review telling me about it. Really, if you laughed at all, like even once, could you tell me, please? If you don't, Brittany will cry and Rachel will rant at you. You don't want that, do you?