Author's Note: This story takes place during the gang war with May having her clone of April, and DeadPool's existence here is explained in the story. I don't own any of these guys, don't sue me.
Spider-Girl meets Deadpool
The gang war is still in place, but I convinced April to take it easy for the weekend. Not that hard to trick her, she's kinda full of herself. I know, I know, with this war I need as many allies as I can, but I just don't think I can trust her. My name is May "Mayday" Parker, and right now I'm hoping now more than ever that I am the one true daughter of Spider-Man.
I'm swinging through the city, trying to clear my head. What am I going to do? Still, I decided to swing by and keep an eye out over at the police station. I might just be close enough to hear the latest news or something. Anything would make this situation better. I'm on the outs with my clone (or I hope she's my clone) April, the police, and even the Black Tarantula. That's when I heard gunshots. I bolted into the room to see a man in red and black tights, for some reason reminding me of my father's costume, and the guy was completely loaded down with guns. I think I heard of this guy, Deadpool, a real psycho, but he was around when my father was, so shouldn't he be a bit too old for this?
"Holy shameless promotional sex-change, true believers! I've stumbled into MU2!"
"Wait, huh? MU- - - did you make a joke about a video game or something?"
"No, that's MUA2, pick up the pace! Normally right now I'd yell at the writer for doing this, but I'm just happy she's not narrating this time around!"
This dude is insane! I point my webshooters at him, hoping that'll register as a threat. He can't be for real. It was just too long ago! He can't be the real Deadpool!
"Who are you? Why are you trying to hurt these people?" I say as I flip over his head and web him up in a nice tight straight jacket. Unfortunately, he rips through it. Must be all that hardware he's carrying, more for the webs to hold, the thinner its spreads. Knew I should've whipped up a stronger batch.
"Who am I? Dang it! Even by the next generation I can't get a good publicist! I'm Deadpool. Yes, I can read your thought bubbles, and, well, apparently my healing factor heals all the dead cells that show signs of aging, so apparently, I'm now immortal! As for the why, as in, why shoot up these clueless gumshoes, what with the gang war and all, does gun-for-hire register in your brain, you little girl scout? Seriously, just like your father!"
My father? That's it! I unleash a serious of power-kicks and blows that's my way of telling him to back off! I am so tired of people stereotyping me because of all the stuff my father did! Then it hits me: someone hired him, ergo, he knows where a gang's headquarters are! I finally rest and he just instantly healed from everything. Unbelievable. I didn't even bruise him, from what I can tell!
"You fast little minx, you! But look, I gotta finish this job, so – "
"I'll double you're pay if you turn on your employer and help me!"
"Whoa! Didn't see that coming! And what makes you think you can afford me?"
"A creepy Spider-Girl admirer left a bundle of cash the police have in custody as evidence of possible stalking they're looking into, but he's just an admirer who went too far really. If he was following me my spider-sense would have gone off. Will $10,000 cover it?"
"Te-te-te- ten grand? Deal! The economy sucks, and I'm no longer the creepiest stalker on the police's radar! What do you need, o' pal of mine?"
"Take me to the hideout of whoever hired you."
"You got it!"
I know what you're thinking. Making a deal with a psycho, and giving him that much cash to boot? What can I say? I'm desperate! And if this guy can give me a leg-up on this war, then all the better. I can put up with him. How bad could he be? Deadpool grabs the cash from a police locker a couple minutes later. I double back to make sure no one was killed, want the worst that happened was a mess and a few flesh grazes. Guess he wanted to play with them first. What would the police think? I have no clue, but they already don't like me, so what harm will it do? We spend the next half hour following his directions, and now I just can't stand him!"
" - - - so, after that they never brought the camel to another zoo, Blind Al had to settle for the expensive brand of prescription dentures, and Mary never called me again."
Oh, why doesn't he just kill me?
"Hey, listen, Dea - - is there anything I can call you other than Deadpool?"
"Wade Wilson's the name, and – "
"I DON'T WANNA HEAR WHAT YOU THINK YOUR GAME IS!" I take a deep breathe to try to calm myself down. "Wade, are we anywhere near the hideout now?"
"This is the place actually. We circled around it about 10 times now. You may be underaged for just about everything I usually do with a girl, but at least you're someone I can talk to! See, I'm on this hero kick, and I was tossed aside by the X-Men, I tried a partnership with your dad once, – "
"Let's Just Get Down There And FIGHT!" We circled around this place 10 times? And what things was he - - - I don't wanna know. He jump in through the skylight, and there were - - - - kids?
"Um, Wade, think we got the wrong address."
"Nope, this is it."
"Seventh graders. Grammar school. Came to my rescue once, the little scamps."
"I paid you 10 grand, for this?"
"They hate the sirens, paid me $15 to get rid of some. Told ya the economy sucks. I was just bluffing with the "afford me" crack, but who'd a thought you'd cough up $10,000 to beat on these little guys? Oh well, all yours!"
I look back at the kids who all have baseball bats and handguns. KIDS! I wanted to scream back at Wilson, but he's already scrammed. Oh yeah. I'll take April any day.