AN: Just an idea I had after watching episode 2x10, the one with the boy in the dumpster. I think they could have done something with Justin in this episode since it's only been a few months after he got attacked. I was disappointed that they didn't but oh well, what can you do? LOL, Enjoy! : )
I do not own Brian and Justin or anything that has to do with Queer as Folk!
Justin stood by the bar and glanced around the room. To anyone who looked at him, he appeared to be casually looking, sizing the crowd up for a good fuck, even. But to Brian, who knew him more than anyone, he looked nervous.
The guy he was dancing with pressed closer to him but Brian paid him no attention. His eyes were trained on Justin who hadn't glanced his way once. Brain watched as a guy walked up to Justin and stopped beside him. Justin jumped and Brian frowned. He stepped away from the trick he was dancing with and started toward the bar.
"Why don't we get out of here?" Brian heard the guy ask as he placed a hand on Justin's arm.
Brian was close enough now that he saw Justin's entire body tense up at the action. Justin still hadn't noticed him.
"I don't think-" Justin tried to say.
Brian rolled his eyes and his hand went to the stranger's still wrapped around Justin's arm. He grabbed it and forcibly removed it from Justin, shoving the guy back as he did. Brian unconsciously moved to stand between the man and Justin.
"Fuck off." Brian ground out.
The nameless guy looked between Brian's angry face and defensive posture to Justin standing slightly behind him. He shrugged drunkenly and walked off leaving Brian and Justin standing alone by the bar. Brian turned to Justin.
"You alright?" He shouted over the music.
Justin nodded but Brian wasn't buying it. He looked Justin over carefully. His body was more relaxed than it was but still tense and his eyes were full of fear that Justin was desperately trying to mask. Brain was suddenly reminded of the way Justin had looked in the weeks following his bashing.
"Let's get out of here."
Justin's brow furrowed and he glanced pointedly in the direction where Brian had been dancing only a few minutes earlier.
"What about that guy you were with?"
Brian shrugged and put an arm around Justin's shoulders. He steered him away from the dance floor and to the door that would take them on to the street.
"What guy?" Brian asked indifferently.
Brian pulled up outside of his building and turned the car off. He glanced at Justin in the passenger seat whose eyes were firmly locked on the window. Justin hadn't said a word since they left the club.
Brian opened his door and Justin finally looked away from the window. He glanced at Brian before quickly opening his own door and jumping out of the jeep.
As soon as his feet hit the pavement he moved to stand beside Brian – so close in fact that their sides were touching. Brian's brow furrowed but he otherwise didn't comment or give any sign that he had noticed Justin's actions.
Justin continued his nervous and silent behaviour the entire ride on the lift and to their door. Brian watched him as he fidgeted with his hands and bounced on his feet. His eyes seemed to move frantically around the hall as they walked. Still, Brain didn't comment.
Once inside, Justin's entire being seemed to relax at once. He stopped fidgeting and his eyes had lost some of the frantic look they had all night. Brian made his way to the kitchen for a glass of water, ignoring the way Justin ran to lock the door.
"Sit down." Brian ordered.
Justin did what he said and sat down at the bar in the kitchen. Brian grabbed a glass and filled it with water from the tap before joining Justin at the bar. He pushed the glass to him and Justin raised an eyebrow. Brian rolled his eyes and motioned with his hand to the glass. Justin gave him a puzzled look but drank the water anyway.
Brian waited till the glass was half empty before speaking, "So, you want to tell me what that was all about?"
"What do you mean?" Justin asked.
Brian crossed his arms over his chest and gave Justin a pointed look. "You looked about ready to pass out at Babylon, and you've been nervous and jumpy the entire way home. So what's up?"
Justin sighed. "I was hoping you wouldn't notice."
"You're not exactly discreet."
Justin glared at him to which Brian simply shrugged, smirking. They lapsed into silence but rather than ask again, Brian waited. He knew Justin would talk when he was ready to.
"Clearly," Brian mumbled.
Justin ignored him, "I was standing there watching you dance and looking around when I realized…it could be any of them. Any one of them could be the one who killed that boy and I wouldn't know." Justin paused and Brain waited for him to continue. "And then, then that guy came up to me and I thought for sure it was him. I don't know why…and I panicked."
Brain nodded. He had seen that. His eyes had followed Justin from the very moment they stepped into Babylon…he should have noticed sooner. It had only been a few months since Chris, and Justin had been acting strange ever since they found that kid in the dumpster. Of course it would affect him badly. Brian was cursing himself for letting him go out tonight, for ignoring the signs that Justin was headed for a complete relapse.
"I'm sorry." Justin said quietly, breaking into Brian's self hating thoughts.
Brian frowned. "What the hell for?"
"For making you leave, for acting like a scared pussy, for not being able to handle it. Take your pick." He said bitterly.
Brian's face hardened and he clasped a hand on Justin's shoulder. He squeezed it firmly and gave Justin a small shake.
"That's bullshit, Justin. You didn't make me leave; I did that on my own. And as for being scared? It's not something you need to be ashamed of. What that fucker did to you,"
Justin flinched at the reminder of Chris, and Brian moved his hand to rub the back of Justin's neck soothingly.
"It's bound to screw with your head a bit," he continued more gently. "It's okay to be scared Justin."
"Are you ever scared?" Justin asked.
Brian nodded. "Sometimes," He admitted.
Brian waited for the predictable 'what are you scared of' but it never came. Justin just nodded, seeming to accept and benefit just from the knowledge that even Brian Kinney was scared sometimes.
Justin sat silently avoiding Brian's eyes. Ever since this morning when they found that kid he had been on edge. He couldn't help being reminded of Chris Hobbes and thinking about how it could've been him…could still be him. He hadn't wanted Brian to know, he didn't want him to think he was a scared princess. The relief he felt now that Brian knew and understood left him feeling lighter and more like himself than he had all day.
Brian watched Justin as he sat silently. He hated knowing that Justin had been feeling scared all day and hadn't told him but what bothered him more was that Justin was scared period. It left him feeling angry that anyone would want to hurt Justin and made him want to go and find that bastard who attacked him. Brian felt like kicking his own ass for not realizing sooner that Justin was scared but now that he knew, he would be keeping a closer eye on him. Justin wasn't going to have to worry about what Brian would think of him again.
Justin looked up finally and his eyes connected with Brian's. He gave Brian a small smile and scooted forward in his chair to press his lips to Brian's. Brian responded by wrapping his arms around Justin's waist and pulling him to sit in his lap.
Justin's hands tangled in Brian's hair and bit down gently on Justin's lower lip. Justin moaned and their tongues met. A minute went by and Brian pulled back. He pressed a chaste kiss to Justin's lips and pushed Justin off his lap gently.
"Let's go to bed," he said as he stood.
Justin nodded and together they made their way to their room. Justin and Brian both removed their shirts and jeans before lying down under the covers. Brian rolled onto his side to face Justin.
"You're not going to fuck me?" Justin asked teasingly, but with genuine curiosity.
Brian chuckled and shook his head, his eyed were closed. "Not tonight." He breathed out.
Justin examined Brian's face for a minute. God he was beautiful, he thought smiling. Justin couldn't resist. He reached out a hand to brush back Brian's hair and shifted closer to him. Silently, and without opening his eyes, Brian placed an arm over Justin's waist and pulled him to fit against his chest, his head tucked under his chin.
Justin sighed in relief and contentment. He was still nervous after what happened to that kid, and apparently he still had some issues to deal with about Chris, and going to Babylon would be a challenge for a little while. But right here, right now, with Brian…he felt safe.
Review and let me know what you thought please! : )