AUTHOR: Eleri McCleod
CONTACT INFO: elerimc at gmail . com; elerimc . livejournal . com
CATEGORY: future fic, romance, drama
SPOILERS: references to the series pilot
SERIES/SEQUEL INFO: none
CONTENT LEVEL: M, 16+, FR17, take your pick
CONTENT WARNINGS: sexual situations, but nothing explicit; references to canon child abuse
SUMMARY: An event they thought long buried in their past gives Logan and Veronica a chance to move forward.
DISCLAIMER: Veronica Mars and its characters are the property of Rob Thomas, Warner Bros. and Silver Pictures Television. I'm just borrowing them for a little while and will return them unharmed. No copyright infringement is intended.
ARCHIVE: FF, LJ, any others please ask
AUTHOR'S NOTES: And yet another fandom I had no intention to write in. Apparently the squirrels had other ideas and this came out. It always bothered me the show never really dealt with Logan's abuse. Just think of this as me tying up some loose ends. I hope you enjoy my catharsis. Huge hugs go to Lynette for braving to beta this as she's never seen a single episode. As always, any and all feedback is appreciated.
It came out of nowhere.
Normally I had time to prepare both mentally and physically. I was good at it. I, the infamous Logan Echolls, hounded by reporters since I was old enough to stand upright, hadn't been caught off guard by anyone in over a decade. But this? Yeah, this one got me.
"He didn't just take the car away, did he?"
I didn't have to ask who 'he' was. It was as painfully obvious as my body's instinctive tensing against the length of her bare back. Forcing a deep breath into my lungs, I loosened my overly tight grip on her middle and laid my lips on her neck. It was a gentle, sweet kiss, one only she had ever been able to draw from me. It said so many more things, much more difficult things, than simply I love you. It said I trust you. And I know you're not asking about him to get a cheap thrill. And you're the only one who ever cared enough to ask.
Her skin was warm, almost hot, and I wondered, not for the first time, how we'd managed to end up here. Because despite the heart wrenching emptiness of our far too numerous separations, I'd never been happier, more content, than when we were together.
All of that and more was why I answered with an equally quiet, "No."
I have no idea what made her think of it. Hell, I know I sure hadn't in years. But now that it was out there, the two thin scars along the lower curve of my butt tingled gently. It had been one of the few times Aaron had left evidence behind. He'd been a master at doling out exceptionally painful damage without a single mark. Apparently getting arrested for possession of drug paraphernalia had been a switch for Daddy dearest. Who would have thought, right? Then again, he never had gone after Trina and she'd been the one actually doing the drugs, not the one getting set up for it. In any case, Aaron hadn't needed much of an excuse to pound on me. The only question I'd never been able to answer was why didn't I ever stand up to him.
Her quiet words yanked me back to the present. Pushing her hair aside with my chin and nose, I kissed the back of her neck, a slow, easy warmth. "You didn't know what would happen."
"That doesn't make it any more right."
"And what I did was?" Before she could get another word out, I tugged her onto her back so she could see my face and not just hear what I was saying. "There's more than enough blame to go around if we want to play that game." I rested my hand between her breasts, the strong beat of her heart thudding up my arm. "Neither of us was perfect, Veronica."
She seemed to think long and hard about her next words before she spoke and her tone was filled with both self-hatred and sadness. "But you didn't do anything that got me a beating from my father."
It was amazing what time, maturity and having the love of a man's life at his side could do for his perspective. I couldn't even dredge up a halfway passable mad at Aaron anymore. He was long dead and gone. Any energy I wasted on him now was just that – a waste. "It wasn't your fault, Veronica. If it hadn't been that, he'd have found some other excuse. He always did."
Her hand came up to clasp mine, her fingers warm against the slight chill on their backs. "I love you, Logan." Just as my kiss had two minutes ago, her words meant so much more.
Fingers tightening around mine, she looked as if she wanted to say more but didn't know exactly what. I shook my head, stopping her. There was nothing more to say. I was sorry. She was sorry. It had all happened years ago. I hadn't let it stop me from kissing her back at the Camelot and it didn't stop me now.
It was gentle, lazy even, and I sank into her mouth without a hint of reservation. I slipped one leg between hers, nearly gasping at the feel of her smooth warm skin on my inner thigh. She smiled against my lips and trailed her free hand along my jaw. Heart stuttering just the tiniest bit, I slid across the bed so I lay partially draped over her, chest to chest, that sensually chaste kiss never breaking. I was too tall to do anything else if I wanted the taste of her lips and I did want. I always wanted Veronica. But strangely just then it was a want of a different kind. Yes, there was always heat when we touched, always desire. And yes, I'd gone from drowsy limp to more than ready while our lips teased each other.
More than anything right then I wanted her love. I wanted to feel it pouring like honey, thick and warm, over my skin. This wasn't about sex. This was about love, about finding, finally, my other half. And knowing she felt the same. This was about finding home.
My chest clenched once, hard, and pulled my lips from hers with a sharp pull of air. Her expression was soft, eyes glazed over, lips parted and damp. She didn't look like Veronica Mars, tough as nails private detective at the moment. She looked only like a woman in love and pleased to be so.
Without forethought, I slipped my hips fully over hers and eased into her waiting, welcoming heat. Flesh teased, tormented, trembled. Her quiet moan filled the air around us, shivering down my spine. My breath caught, suspended in my throat. It was a slow climb, gentle, easy, each thrust filling me drop by drop until I overflowed, too full to contain it. Not our usual explosion, it was more a fall, rolling down a gentle grassy slope. Our eyes met, clung, bodies quaking against each other. No, not an explosion, yet more powerful, binding us even closer together.
Her hand lifted, trailing over my cheeks, my jaw. She smiled and I could do nothing but match her smug expression.
No, neither of us were perfect. We'd done terrible things to each other. We'd probably do more in the future, even if inadvertently. Only two beings so deeply entwined could rake blades through the other's chest without thought. Despite that, we'd hold.
My life hadn't been one without her. Apart, we'd both struggled, empty and half beings, clawing our way back together. Staring down into her eyes, full of love and understanding, her body accepting mine with no reservation, I knew I was whole, as I was meant to be.
And I'd never be alone again.