A/N: I actually wrote this for my creative writing class a couple of years ago. The assignment was to write a fairy tale from the bad guy's point of view, and this was what I came up with. I beefed it out a bit, and then thought I'd post it. Enjoy!

Rumplestilskin: The True Story

I'll admit, I felt bad when I saw the twit taken away by soldiers. Apparently, her father told some hair-brained story about her ability to spin straw into gold. She was pretty, even with tears and snot running down her face, and I am an officer of the Magical Alliance for the Protection of Ill-used Youth (MAPIY), so it's my job to look after the downtrodden children of our fair land. However, being magical, I could tell she was over eighteen, and therefore out of my jurisdiction.

Still, what could I do? She obviously needed my help. I followed the guards to the castle and waited until nightfall before sneaking into her cell. She was a sprawled, sniveling mess in a corner, totally consumed by grief.

"Hello, fair maiden. I'm here to help," I said, trying to be as knightly as possible.

"A goblin! A goblin! Why are you here?" she screeched. I glowered, highly offended. I'm not a goblin, I'm a dwarf, and the subject is a sore one with me. Still, I reminded myself, she's had a rough day, so I should be more understanding.

"Like I said, milady, I'm here to help you. Technically I'm not allowed, but I think we can work around that. I can magic the straw and if you're the one to actually spin it, then it will still turn to gold, but I won't lose my job. See?" She blinked a few times, but then began to wail once more.

"But I don't know how to using a spinning wheel, and there's no time for you to teach me!" she whined, flopping to the floor in a hopeless mess.

I rolled my eyes and thought. Lighting upon an idea, I suggested, "do you have anything valuable you could trade for my services? Then it would be just like you were paying me to do a job!" She whined for a while, but eventually she gave me her mother's ring. I spun and spun, scooping up straw by the handfuls all night long and meticulously feeding them through the loop of the spinner. At first the girl chattered to keep me company, but in no time at all she had fallen asleep. I smiled a little as I worked. This young woman might be vapid and a little slow, but she was still a good girl, and as a MAPIY member, I've always gotten satisfaction from helping a person out of a jam.

A little after midnight I completed my task. My fingers were beginning to cramp from the tedious labor, but I drifted off to sleep with a satisfied grin on my face under the impression that my work was done.

The next night the same situation arose, only this time the king gave her an even greater amount of straw to transform. Thinking I was already gone—in actuality I'd been there all along, sleeping as a shadow—the girl began to work herself up into another sob session. Quick as a wink, I appeared to help. Though I was already exhausted, I volunteered to spin the straw again, this time in exchange for her grandmother's necklace. All night long I worked, spinning and spinning until my eyes began to blur and I thought my job would never end. Just as the moon set and the first rays of daylight crept over the horizon I finished my task and disappeared to sleep.

The problem reappeared on the third night, when she was put in the largest room of all. I came to her to help, but when I asked for my payment, she had nothing left to give. Thinking about what she could offer that wasn't material, I finally decided on a fair price.

"I want your solemn promise that once you are queen, and have your first born child, you will treat it with the greatest affection and kindness that you are able to provide. If not, then I will take it away from you. Do you understand?" She nodded her head with relief, glad that a promise was all that I required of her. In her customary manner, she chatted with me for a bit before drifting off into a gentle sleep. I, on the other hand, worked like a madman: I knew how difficult it would be to get those piles and piles of straw spun by morning. Fighting my fatigue from two previous all-nighters, I spun piece after piece of that accursed grain, sure that at some point I would be eternally hunched from my position over the spinning wheel.

Still, I was happy. Not only had I saved this young girl's life, I had ensured that her unborn child would be well-loved and never become a statistic for the MAPIY. The sun was already up and I heard the footfall of soldiers by the time I was finally done. I vanished into a puff of smoke just as the door was opening. The king's guards entered uttering exclamations of praise at the girl's supposed skill.

Years passed. The pretty little peasant girl became queen and the whole kingdom rejoiced when the royal family announced the arrival of a new baby. I was happy myself, until it came to my attention that the queen was ignoring her child in favor of shopping, gossiping, and going to parties! Knowing what I had to do, I returned once more to the castle.

I found the child's nursery easily. The baby itself was gurgling cutely, but while it was clean and well dressed, it gave off the distinct impression of being neglected. I stood on tip-toes, reaching into the crib and extracting the child. "Come along darling. I'll find you a new mother who loves and cherishes you," I cooed wrapping it up in its blankets for the long journey ahead of us.

I turned to leave, only to see queen staring slack-jawed back at me. "What are you doing here?" she yelled.

"You have broken your promise, and I'm here to collect my payment," I said coldly. Her lips trembled, and she began to cry.

"But my husband will be so angry with me if I lose the baby!" She whined. "Isn't there some sort of way I can prove that I am a good mother?"

I looked at her with shrewd eyes. Finally I nodded slowly. "If you can figure out my name in three days, then you may keep your baby," I said, handing her the child and then vanishing. Before I left, I bespelled the baby to say my name when it had been changed, fed, and cuddled by its mother. If she learned to be attentive to her baby, then it would give her the answer.

For two days I came to the castle and listened to her ramble off all the boy names she could thing of. On the last day, I could see her despairing. She bowed her head and said, "I have no more names to give you. Can you give me a few more minutes with my child?" I nodded, distinctly disappointed that I was going to have to separate them.

To my amazement, she picked up her baby and held him close. Realizing he stank, she changed his diaper and then gave him a bottle. She bundled him up once more, and clutching him to her chest, walked towards my. Just as she was extending the precious bundle, the baby murmured, "Rumplestiltskin."

"Rumplestiltskin?" she asked looking at her child. "Whatever does that mean?"

"It is my name, m'lady!" I whooped, and smiled at her. "You've passed the test!" I laughed like a maniac, and disappeared in a cloud of smoke.