This was written because of a prompt that was posted by Amber on fanforum. It was "Penny/Raj-Drinking Game." Now, I feel like I cheated on exactly what the game is, so that's why I altered it near the end. This was longer than I thought it would be…
DISCLAIMER: I get minimum wage. I couldn't afford these characters if they were up for sale.
SPOILERS: Nothing specific for any Big Bang Theory episode, some spoilers for the How I Met Your Mother Episode, "Jenkins."
"How many times am I going to have to bring you your Superman underwear before you remember to check the dryer for them?" Penny asked, laughing as Leonard came and took them from her. From the couch, Howard tried not to laugh. Sheldon didn't understand what was so embarrassing.
"At least a few more times," Leonard joked.
"You're lucky they were in the dryer I decided to use, or Mrs. Vartabedian may have found them and stuck them to the 'Keep Your Clothes On' sign."
"I don't know why she insists on reminding me of that rule."
Penny grinned mischievously and raised her hand. "I know the reason!"
"Shut up and finish your laundry."
Penny stuck her tongue out at him. "Ouch," Howard whispered to Sheldon.
Leonard closed the door behind Penny and went back to his chair. As he sat down, Sheldon jumped up. "You forgot to remind her!" He rushed to the door and flung it open. "Star Wars marathon in an hour. Don't forget!" He yelled down the stairway after Penny.
"I won't!" She called, shifting her empty laundry basket to her other hip.
"That's twelve-thirty," He called before re-entering 4A and shutting the door.
Realizing he may not have been specific enough, Sheldon opened the door and leaned out into the hall. "Pacific Coast Time!"
Sheldon stood in the doorway, looking perplexed. "I know that was sarcasm, but I have no idea why."
"I know," Leonard said from his chair.
"You don't know why either?" Sheldon asked as he shut the door and walked toward his spot.
"I think he means he has no idea why you have no idea why," Howard offered. "Anyway, have we decided on a viewing order? Are we going in the order that the movies were made, or the order that they would have happened had the series existed in a world other than fiction?"
"I say start with The Phantom Menace, and end with Return of the Jedi," Leonard said.
"I agree," Sheldon said. "Although first time viewers lose the element of surprise in discovering that Darth Vader is Luke's father and Leia is Luke's twin, for long-time loyal fans like us it is the superior choice because we see the series unfolding before our very eyes and get to end with the second-best one, which is second only to ending with the best one itself, A New Hope."
"How is A New Hope better than Return of the Jedi?" Leonard asked.
"It would be a difficult decision to make," Sheldon said. "Both have extremely well thought out storylines, the acting is superb, especially when compared to that of the new movies, but A New Hope does not have Ewoks."
"Come on," Leonard said. "Ewoks are so cuddly and cute."
"Yup yup!" Howard said in his best Wicket imitation.
Penny walked out of the laundry room with her clothes in hand. She came around the corner just as the lobby's door opened. "Hey, Raj." The astro-physicist smiled at her. "Sweetie, are you sure it's okay that I come to the marathon? I know you'll want to discuss it with everyone." Raj shrugged, smiling and tilting his head.
"Does that mean I can come?" Penny asked. Raj nodded. "Tell you what," she said, grabbing his sleeve. "Come with me." She headed up the stairs, letting go of his sleeve once she knew he'd follow her. Upon reaching the fourth floor, Penny headed across the hall, turning once she realized Raj was standing by 4A, looking confused. "No, no, sweetie, come over here."
Raj was confused, Penny could tell. He cocked his head and stared at her. "Come on, Raj," Penny said. "I have an idea."
Once inside her apartment, Penny went over to the counter and began taking out shot glasses and bottles. "We're going to make you able to talk to me during the marathon. How, you ask?" She glanced up at Raj, who was seated on one of the stools. "We're going to have a pre-marathon drinking game!"
She filled two shot glasses and set one before Raj. "I have an episode of How I Met Your Mother recorded where they drank every time Robin said 'but, um.' Wanna try it?"
The uncomfortable expression that hadn't left Raj's face since entering Penny's apartment evaporated and he nodded and grinned. She turned the television so it pointed toward the stools and hit play. They sat down to watch, finally reaching the drinking game scene.
"But, um…" said on-screen Robin.
"But, um!" said on-screen Barney and Ted.
"But, um!" shouted Penny and Raj. "Drink!" they clinked their glasses together and spilled some of the alcohol. They downed the shots.
"But, um…" said on-screen Robin, glancing at her paper.
"But, um!" said on-screen Barney and Ted, slurring.
"But! Um! Drink!" Penny and Raj shouted once again, Penny closing her eyes in emphasis and Raj punching his fist in the air.
"But, um! Drink"
"But, um! Drink!"
Penny giggled staggering away from where she and Raj had sat on the stools and collapsing on the couch, holding her stomach and gasping for breath. "But, um!" She shouted, even though the show was in commercial. She wasn't too drunk yet, just a bit slaphappy. "Raj, sweetie, I don't think we should finish the episode."
"Why not? At the end don't we get to see Lily beat the crap out of Jenkins?"
"Yes, but we'd be way too drunk for the marathon. Robin says it a lot near the end."
"I'm glad I don't overuse any words like that," Raj said.
"Oh, sweetie, me too," Penny agreed, pointing at herself. "That would be so annoying."
Raj discovered a little alcohol that had gathered at the bottom of his glass and drained it. "You say, 'sweetie' a lot."
"Do I?" Penny thought. "I guess I do." She giggled. "You guys don't have a drinking game based on that, do you?"
Raj glanced at the screen. "No, though Howard wishes he had a drinking game based on you. Like the kind of game Barney had based on Robin…actually on Robin."
Penny had had just enough alcohol to find that funny. A little bit funny.
"I have an idea!" Raj said suddenly. "You take a shot every time you say 'sweetie,'"
"Oh, sweetie, I don't know about…"
Penny took a shot, nearly choking as she swallowed as she giggled. Raj laughed, too, both of them quieting after a few seconds. "Penny," Raj asked, "Do you have Augie's Great Municipal Band as your ringtone?"
"Nah," Penny said. "See? I didn't say 'sweetie' there…oh, damn it." She took a shot. "The alarm," she said pointing toward her phone, "is so we," she gestured at herself and him, "don't miss the Star Wars marathon over there." She turned to point at toward her apartment door.
"So…" Raj picked up the phone. "Doesn't this mean that we should go over there?"
"Oh." Penny sat up and looked over at where Raj was sitting. "Probably. Can you help me put this stuff away?"
Raj nodded, and he washed the shot glasses while Penny put away the alcohol. "This was a good idea," Raj said. "Now I can talk during the movies!"
"That was the idea," Penny said. She suddenly stopped and turned, looking at Raj. "Raj, sweetie…"
"Aaaah." Penny took the bottle down and Raj handed her her glass. She took the shot and replaced the bottle on the shelf. "Anyway, can I ask you a question?"
"Normally when you get drunk you get…oh, God, please don't take this the wrong way, but…you tend to get obnoxious. Not today. Is it because you know me better now?"
Penny could tell by how Raj stood and the expression on his face that his explanation was the truth. "I guess you could say that. You scare me, woman."
"Isn't this fun?" Sheldon asked, taking the popcorn bowl that Howard offered him. "Five friends, spending their Anything Can Happen Thursday watching six of the greatest movies of all time in succession?"
"It's better than Ladies' Night, that's for sure," Leonard said.
Sheldon looked confused. "I didn't say it wasn't."
"He didn't say you did, sweetie," Penny said, somewhat bitterly. She had a bit of a headache, and Sheldon's insistence on watching the lightsaber duel between Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, and Darth Maul twice wasn't helping.
"Sweetie! Drink!" Raj bellowed, punching his fist in the air.
The group fell silent, and Sheldon paused the television. Penny clapped her hand to her mouth, self-concious of saying it again. Leonard's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Everyone looked at Raj, who turned red.
Howard broke the silence. "What the frack?"
My first fic based on a prompt! Let me know what you think!