At school, Clark put Rachel down and approached Chloe and Pete.

"Clark how did you get here through a black hole it must be a conspiracy with green rocks I will go write an article about it!!" Chloe yelled.

"Um, okay, except don't," Clark said. "I want you to meet my new friend."

Rachel stepped forward. "Hi, I'm Hannah," she said, shaking Chloe's hand.

"I thought you said that your name was Rachel," Clark said, confused.

"I did. Now it's Hannah," Hannah said. "Keep up."

Clark scratched his head but said nothing.

"Hey," Pete said, stepping forward. "I'm Pete."

"Hi Pete! I'm Jessica," Hannah said.

Chloe was startled. "You just told me your name was Hannah," she protested.

Jessica shook her head. "What are you people, slow or something? First I was Rachel, then I was Hannah, now I'm Jessica! This is not rocket science, guys!"

"Um, okay, whatever," they muttered. Clark suddenly caught sight of Lana.

"No, Clark! Look away! Look away from the light! CLAAARKK!" His friends yelled. As if in a trance, Clark tottered over to Lana, tripped and fell on his face.

"Wow, does he do that every day?" Jessica asked, delighted. "I've got to meet this girl!"

She walked over as Lana bent over Clark, asking if he was okay.

"I'm fine," he said, sounding pneumonic. Lana suddenly noticed Jessica.

"Hi!" she said. "I'm Lana. I haven't seen you before, what's your name?"

"I'm Megan," Jessica said, smiling. "I've heard so much about you. I hear every nearly-six-foot-three farm-boy hottie in the grade has a crush on you."

Clark turned a sickly shade of white.

"Um, whatever," Lana said. "I have a boyfriend. He's so cool. He's short and he beats people up for me. I think he was a premature baby, and that's why his head is like that," she added. "And his parents thought he was a girl at first, so his name is Whitney."

"Hey," Whitney said. "Who's this?" He had a rude habit of talking only to Lana and not looking at anyone else.

"Oh," Megan said. "I'm Grace. It's nice to meet you."

Clark started to pass out on the floor.

"Hey, weren't you Megan a second ago?" Lana asked.

"Yes," Grace said.

"Oh," said Lana. "Okay."

Clark made dying sounds.

"Hey, I think something's wrong with Clark," Whitney said. "Give me your necklace."

"Why?" asked Lana, taking it off. Clark began to look better.

"Because I need to lose it before the game on Saturday," he said like it was obvious.

"Oh, right, I forgot," Lana said. "Here you go. Put it in this cool lead case. They had them in a two-for-one sale at the alien rock convention in Metropolis."

Whitney stuck the necklace in the lead case and Clark looked way healthier. He got up.

"Well, I'll see you guys in class," he said, picking up his books and running away before Grace changed her name again.

Footnote: Umm… footnotes are cool. Go Crows.