Fail VI: Sazh's Unexpected Gift
Vallis Media

It was the party's second night camping within the cliffs of the Vallis Media, and Sazh couldn't help but notice how strange Dajh's chocobo chick has been acting recently. It began with her pecking at his scalp occasionally, but Sazh had dismissed it; she was probably just a little twitchy that day. Eventually it got to the point where she started having temper tantrums every other hour and would bite at his nose while he was sleeping and she had even assaulted a PSICOM solider a few days before while he and Vanille were imprisoned. He made a metal note that day to never piss off a chocobo, no matter how big or small.

Sazh racked through his memories for something that might've angered the tiny thing on his head, but nothing came to mind. He sighed as the tiny chick jabbed at the bridge of his nose for the hundred-millionth time that night. The man gently swatted away the midgety creature and forced himself to sleep.

The bright obnoxious morning came too quickly for Sazh's taste. He stirred as the blinding light swept over the camp and awakened everyone else. Upon sitting up, he felt something smooth stuck in his Afro. He carefully ran a hand through his hair and pulled out the object. The object in his hand was the explanation for the chocobo's sudden change in mood.

An egg.
Yes, an egg.

"...The hell?" Sazh muttered to himself as he examined the egg.

"What's wrong, Sazh?" Vanille skipped towards him with her usual overly-cheery mood.

"This." He held up the egg for her to see. "I think Dajh's chocobo laid it."

The rest of the party gathered around the man and stared at the egg as if it were a tap-dancing behemoth. The feathery yellow bird then came bouncing out of the bushes and jumped onto Vanille's shoulder. She gently stroked the chick as Lightning shifted her gaze from the egg, to the chocobo, and back to the egg.

"What are you going to do with it?" Lightning broke the awkward case of silence that was hanging over them.

"Dunno," Sazh replied, rising to his feet. "I suppose I could keep it…but it would probably break with all the fighting, and the shooting, and the running we all do."

"You're right on that one," Fang interjected. "We could just leave here and have it run free through Gran Pulse."

"Or we could just eat it." Snow suggested. "I could go for an egg this morning."

"No!" The rest of the party exclaimed collectively. Even the tiny chick seemed sqeaked in agreement with everyone.

Snow held up his hands in defence. "It was only a suggestion…"

Author: *crawls out of the ground* I'M NOT DEAD! I know I said I was leaving fanfiction before but I take that back, I love writing this stuff way too much XD This is not that funny, but its been floating around in my head for a while now. Next, I'll have Lightning tied up in her cape because so many of you have requested it.

Hope you enjoy!