A/n: Ugh, this is a bit suckish. Mainly dialogue, but we get some Starscream interaction!


The warp went about as smoothly as one could imagine, however Demolishor's fuel pump was hammering against his chest until they appeared on the warp platform. He and Cyclonus had been gone for quite some time, and he was praying to whatever deity that happened to be listening at the moment that Megatron had not noticed, since he was still supposed to be on monitor duty. A quick scan quickly revealed the Megatron was still in the medical bay though, still unconscious from the injuries that Demolishor had patched up.

"Out, Snuggles!" Cyclonus yelled while Demolishor had been lost in his thoughts. The doors on the helicopter flew open and the giant kitten almost immediately tumbled out with a surprised mew. The gunner transformed and glared at Snuggles, who seemed to be more confused than anything. "Bad kitty! Making all that noise in front of the meatbags! Now we got caught," he shook his finger at the kitten, who tried to bat at the digit as if it were a toy.

Demolishor sighed loudly, effectively getting Cyclonus' attention. "Well who was the dumbaft who decided to yell at the humans in the middle of public?" He demanded, keeping still as Blackout unloaded his cargo of cat food.

Green optics glared at him to no effect. "It was perfectly reasonable! They were touching me! Those filthy organics were rubbing their stupid hands all over me, Primus if those Autobot kids are the shining examples their race then those humans just need to go off and die."

Finally Demolishor was able to transform and he just crossed his arms and decided that arguing wasn't worth it. He never quite understood the almost phobia-like behavior Cyclonus often had towards humans. Granted, he was perfectly happy with ambushing them for his own warped sense of amusement, but Cyclonus was weird like that and the tank had stopped trying to second-guess his friend's personality changes a long time ago. Instead he focused on the bigger issue at hand. "So hard these enough or what?" He asked, twitching his foot to indicate the cat food bags. They were awfully tiny and he didn't want to end up accidently stepping on them.

Cyclonus frowned and kneeled down so he could view the bags better. Snuggles had to scramble aside to avoid getting squashed by the Decepticon's rump, and Demolishor couldn't tell whether he was amused or irritated at the scene. If Cyclonus wanted to keep his pet for any amount of time then he had to very quickly learn not to sit or step on him. "That's weird," Cyclonus said, propping his chin on one hand and staring at the cat food as if he could find the secrets of the universe hidden within their gaudy labeling. "They should be bigger, I mean, look at Snuggles! This is hardly any food for him!"

"It would be a substantial amount of food if Snuggles—" he tried not to grimace at the name "—was the size of a regular Earth cat. Since he is not and is quite a bit bigger then his food should be bigger."

"Oooh," Cyclonus said as if the thought had not once crossed his mind. And knowing Cyclonus, it hadn't. There was a long beat of silence. "Then we should get bigger food for him, right?"

"Yes, but according to Blackout those were the biggest size he could get."

The Mini-Con decided to add his two cents. ["And I don't want to go back there. Humans are creepy when they gather in large crowds."] He shuddered. ["Why don't you make the food bigger or something?"]

"No, you're just giving him ideas!" Demolishor hissed but he was drowned out by Cyclonus' yell.

"That's a perfect idea Blackout! And we even have that busted machine thing on Earth that blew up Snuggles in the first place. We could just go there and make it enlarge this food or something so we have enough!"

It was a surprisingly sound idea, which was a rarity from Cyclonus. He seemed to be looking over one major detail, however. "The Autobots destroyed it, remember?" Demolishor asked, giving Cyclonus a look that said he should have known that, seeing as the event happened only hours earlier.

"Oh yeah…" Cyclonus murmured, scratching his helmet. "But…it wasn't a bad explosion. And you're good with fixing stuff, Demmy, you can repair it!"

"What?" Demolishor yelled, "I am not about to go back there!

"Why not?" Cyclonus asked, optics wide in confusion. Demolishor smacked his hand against his forehead. "Hey Demmy, y'feeling alright there? You shouldn't be hitting yourself—"

"Our battle was not exactly quiet," Demolishor interrupted before his headache could go further. "No doubts there are multiple humans at the sight now and we can't afford to get caught now. Besides, my maintenance skills are amateur, at best."

"I wouldn't doubt that for a second," Starscream said, suddenly poking his head around the doorway.

Cyclonus nearly bowled Demolishor over in his attempt to hide Snuggles and the cat food behind his legs. "Hey Screamer, what's up?" He asked brightly, a false cheer in his voice.

Starscream raised an optic ridge but wisely chose not to say anything. He stepped further into the room and Demolishor noticed that he was favoring one of his arms slightly. "I was looking for Demolishor here, since the wound on my arm got torn open again." Now that he mentioned it there was some energon flowing out from between his fingers.

The tank made an exasperated noise and bent to look closer at it. "I told you not to move it," he growled and grabbed one of his medical tools from his subspace compartment. "Why does no one in this base listen to me?"

"Probably because a half dead boltbat has more logic circuits than you," Starscream snapped, trying to jerk his arm away as Demolishor poked the instrument into it.

Cyclonus frowned. "Hey, don't be messing with Demmy, Screamer. He was way smarter than you today, when you just walked into that shrapnel grenade."

The Seeker glared at Cyclonus, but like all glares it just bounced off of him as if he had an invisible shield around him. "I noticed that you weren't top of your class either, when—OW! Fraggit Demolishor, what the hell are you doing?"

"Stop jerking around before I lace your energon with taephilum," Demolishor replied in a voice that brooked no nonsense. "You tore the cluster of nerves circuits right here, which is why it hurts to move your arm. You should be back in your berth, and now I'll have to spend over—"

"What in the world is that?" Starscream suddenly yelled, pointing at the ground with his free arm.

"Mrrrow."

Demolishor froze as if his motor circuits had just shut down; Cyclonus made an odd, hysterical sound that resembled "Nothing!" The Decepticon second-in-command stared at Snuggles as if he had never seen such a thing before in his life."I'm serious Demolishor, tell me what that is."

"A hallucination," Demolishor said so quickly that it took a moment for his processor to catch up with him. "You're having an advanced hallucination and it's a side effect from the taephilum I gave your earlier."

Starscream rolled his optics. "Demolishor I'm not an i—" A spark crackled up his arm and just like that he slumped down in Demolishor's arms, completely unconscious.

"Whoa, what was that?" Cyclonus asked, his optics growing huge.

At first Demolishor didn't answer, but once he managed to throw Starscream over his shoulder he explained, "One of those circuits led straight to his processor. All you have to do is give it a minor shock and the bot will pass right out." He looked down at Snuggles. "Now get that thing out of here before someone else comes!" He shook his head as Cyclonus scooped up the kitten and took off, disappearing in a second. He signed and started to make his way to the med bay. hopefully Megatron would still be asleep when he got there.


A/N: There is no official medic among the Decepticons in Armada, so my headcanon says that Demmy was the poor soul who had to fix everyone's injuries.