Total Drama Fantasy
Story Written by Freedom Fighter
So much to take care of in this final chapter, it couldn't be contained in a normal, 20 KB chapter. So I doubled it. You'll definitely want a snack to munch on before sitting through this behemoth.
That being said, enjoy the finale!
Disclaimer: The characters of the 'Total Drama' series belong to Fresh TV, Inc., Teletoon, and Cartoon Network, not me. The song used in this chapter is property of their respective owners.
Note: Very, very minor 'Total Drama World Tour' spoilers for maybe the first four episodes towards the end.
"TYLER! TYLER, COME BACK TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Lindsay was openly wailing as Owen placed a white sheet over Tyler's dead body. Bridgette and Geoff tried to comfort her as they led her away. Meanwhile, Gwen and Beth were confronting the Four Horsemen, not happy about what had just transpired.
"You said no one could die here!" Beth scolded Harold. "You lied!"
"Screw the rules, the King has money!" Harold retorted.
Duncan then smacked Harold upside the back of his head.
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."
"I can't believe you're going along with this!" Gwen shouted. "Your King probably has cards with all of us on it!"
"He actually does," Heather admitted. "And I can't wait for yours to be drawn so I can watch you wither and die at my feet!"
"If that's a jab at me being goth, you're sick!"
"Heather's just stating the fact that because she hates you," Courtney explained, "she hopes she's the one that actually gets to do you in."
"Gee, Courtney," Gwen glared at her. "I know you can be bossy at times, but... you're going along with all of this? Just because you want your side to win?"
"Nothing personal, but I play to win!"
"But not at this cost! Not the Courtney I know!"
"Face it," Duncan jumped in. "It's either you, or us. There can only be one."
"There's gotta be a way to stop this!" Beth tried to think out loud.
"There's only one way," Heather said with a smile. "You better hope Trent and Cody win. And before you get sent to the Grand Beyond."
"Lemme guess..." Gwen stated out loud, "if the King wins, we're all dead."
Heather patted Gwen on the head mockingly.
Chapter Thirteen - This Doesn't Make Any Sense! (09.27.10)
"I don't know if I can do this," Cody said aloud as he glanced over at Trent. "If what he says is true, we could be pitting our friends against each other for the right to live!"
"This is messed up!" Trent exclaimed, putting his hand up to his forehead. "If we fight, they'll all get killed. But if we don't fight, they'll get killed. It's a no win situation!"
"Exactly!" the 'voice' shouted. "And the readership will skyrocket like never before!"
"What? This is all about getting more people to read this story!"
"That must mean the King can only be one person," gasped Cody.
The other side of the room suddenly lit up to reveal the identity of the King. It was none other than Chris, the story's producer and creator.
"You know what," Gwen threw her hands up in frustration, "I shouldn't be surprised by anything else in this stupid fanfic."
"STREAKING!" Izzy yelled, as she ran by Gwen and the Horsemen in a blur... for more than one reason.
"T-rated fic!" Beth shouted as she took off after Izzy. "T-rated fic, Izzy!"
Duncan seemed to chuckle as his imagination ran wild, before he turned around and realized that neither Courtney, Gwen, or Heather were laughing at whatever he was thinking. In fact, they seemed angry about his thoughts.
"What?" he shouted at them. "You know I'm not the only guy imagining it!"
"IT STOPPED BEING T-RATED WHEN TYLER DIED!" Izzy yelled.
Lindsay started to wail even louder from the other side of the room.
"It's just ketchup," Bridgette told Lindsay. "Not blood, ketchup! It's ketchup! It's ketchup!"
"So," Chris looked across the field at Trent and Cody. "Still want to play?"
"No!" they both shouted. "Absolutely not."
"I was hoping you were going to say that. I generate Hammering Harold in rush mode!"
Harold appeared on the battlefield, armed with a hammer. His stats were '2,' '2', and '2,' respectively.
"And since Trent has nothing on his side of the field to protect him, guess who's about to be this game's second victim! Harold, go for it!"
"Yes, my liege!" Harold obeyed.
Harold raised his hammer and started running towards Trent's platform. He stopped a few feet short and began spinning around. After a few revolutions, he released his grip on the hammer, which flew up and... through Trent's body.
"Well, that wasn't so bad..."
But despite the fact the hammer was virtual, Trent felt pain shooting through his upper body, where the hammer had gone through. It was as if the hammer had hit him for real.
Above him, three hearts appeared... and then two disappeared just as fast as they had come.
"Trent, are you okay?" Cody asked.
"Yeah," Trent winced in pain, "I'll live."
"For now, anyway," Chris told him. "I just took two of your three heart points! Once all three of them are gone, you die! Same goes for Cody over there."
"So you mean we have to kill you before you kill us?" figured out Cody, as three hearts appeared above his head.
"Exactly! Oh... and good luck with that."
Chris smiled as 20 hearts materialized over his noggin.
"That's so not fair!"
"That's kinda the point. Anyway, I place two cards face down and say adios to my first turn. Besides... it's not as much fun unless I prolong your torture... meh heh!"
"Ugh!" Cody complained. "I can't do this!"
"We don't have a choice!" Trent told him. "We have to fight! To save everyone!"
"But what if..."
Cody gasped, his thoughts coming true before he could voice them, as he had drawn a card from his deck and Gwen was on it. He was on it too, though, as it was a picture of him and Gwen sharing a canoe, from the time he tried to ask her out on a date. The card was called 'Flirting with Disaster.'
"I can't play this!" Cody thought to himself. "It might put Gwen's life in danger! Not to mention my own!"
"I end my turn!" Cody suddenly announced.
"No, Cody!" Trent shouted at him. "We have to take this opportunity to attack!"
Cody didn't look as if he was going to budge. He didn't want to hurt anyone... particularly Gwen. Trent had no choice but to soldier on, even if he too didn't want to participate. He drew one card and added it to his hand.
"I'll start by playing one card face down," Trent decided. "Then, I'll generate Eva the Mighty!"
Eva appeared in front of Trent's podium. She had '3' attack, '3' defense, and '2' hearts.
"I hope Harold will forgive me for this, but... Eva, take him out!"
Eva growled as she charged. She reared back and punched Harold right in the face, decreasing his hearts from '2' to '0.'
"Isn't it weird that they're playing this card game and yet they don't even know the... GAH!"
Harold stopped speaking after he felt himself having a heart attack. He grabbed his chest, mouthing that he wanted help, but no one could do anything as he dropped to floor, dying.
Duncan then kicked him for good measure.
"Yep, he's dead."
"Looks like Harold's history," Trent smirked as Eva retreated back to in front of his podium.
"Not so fast!" Chris waved a finger. "I activate the sorcery card 'Reincarnation,' which allows me to bring one character back from the Grand Beyond. So with that... welcome back, Harold!"
Harold reappeared on the battlefield, in cower mode...
And got back up to his feet in the lounge.
"I knew my lord wouldn't let me stay dead for long..."
"But he won't be here long, thanks to his special ability!"
"Special ability?" Trent questioned.
"You see, if Harold is brought back from the dead, I can then, on the same turn, sacrifice him to generate an even stronger character! So therefore, I sacrifice Harold..."
"GAH! Two heart attacks in two minutes! Not coo..."
Harold collapsed again. And died... again.
And Duncan kicked him again.
"Stop that!" Gwen yelled at him.
"...in order to generate Counselor-in-Training Courtney!"
Courtney appeared in her normal clothes, but she also had a visor on her head and a clipboard cradled in his arms.
"You all have to listen to me now," 'virtual' Courtney told them, "because I'm a C.I.T.!"
She had '4' attack, '1' defense, and '4' hearts.
"Courtney's trouble," grumbled Trent. "I've got no choice. I'm going to put one card face down and end my turn!"
"Aww... someone's scared," baited Chris.
"Just do whatever!"
"I will! Now..."
Chris drew a card from his deck. Another smile crept onto his face.
"Excellent... I'll save that one for later..."
He took that card and held it against his chest, then moved to play the lone card in his hand.
"I generate the character El Explosivo, in cower mode!"
Izzy appeared on the field, with a ticking time bomb strapped to her chest. She had '1' attack, '5' defense, and '1' heart.
"Arriba arriba!" Izzy chirped.
"If El Explosivo is attacked, she detonates her bomb, taking out not only her attacker, but herself as well!"
"Can I blow myself up now?" Izzy looked up at Chris. "Please?"
"Not yet, dang it!"
"But I wanna see what my internal organs look like when they're all gooey and in pieces and... can I blow myself up now?"
Chris turned his attention down to Cody's face-down character.
"Courtney's got a date with your friend. I wonder... is it Gwen?"
Cody shook his head, vehemently denying it.
"It would be a kick in the pants if it was Gwen, huh? Let's find out... Courtney, let's send that character packing!"
"Don't tell me what to do!" Courtney shook her fist at Chris. "I can attack whomever I want!"
Courtney headed for Cody's creature anyway.
"Please tell me that's not Gwen under there!" Trent pleaded. "Cody!"
"What do I do?" Cody started to panic. "What do I do?"
"You've got no choice! Play the card!"
Cody nodded, and pressed a button on his card holder, signaling the character to emerge from his face-down card. It was...
"Home-school?" Trent scratched his head, confused.
"Ezekiel?" Chris freaked out. "Home-school Boy Ezekiel? Why him?"
"What?" Cody shrugged, not knowing what he did.
"Courtneys have no effect on him! In fact, if a Courtney ever attacks him, she is automatically destroyed!"
Sure enough, when Ezekiel appeared, he threw his hat at Courtney, and it instantly sliced her head off.
"Boys are still better than girls, eh!" Ezekiel said.
In the lounge, Courtney was flabbergasted as to what just happened. She then turned to Duncan and pointed to his hook.
"Eh," he shrugged as he unscrewed it from his hand and handed it to her. "Whatever floats your boat, babe."
Courtney then walked off, trying to think of a way to kill herself with the hook.
"Courtney," Gwen called out. "Wait! You don't have to... EWWWW!"
Courtney had found a way... and it was pretty gruesome. But quick and painless for her, nevertheless. Heather saw it and nearly puked on the spot. Duncan bent down and retrieved his hook, as Gwen cringed through the whole sequence.
"I give it an eight out of ten," he critiqued. "Needs more blood."
"I'm ending my turn," grumbled Chris.
"I hope Courtney won't be mad at me," Cody thought out loud.
"She'll forgive you in the next life," Trent shouted. "It's your turn, so play something to protect yourself!"
"I hope Bridgette will forgive me too, because I generate Surfing Bridgette to the field, in rush mode!"
'Virtual' Bridgette appeared, in her surfing gear.
"I thought we were friends," gasped Bridgette. "Why would he summon my character?"
"I'm sure he's got a good reason," Geoff tried to calm her down.
Bridgette has '2' attack, '2' defense, and '4' hearts.
"I'll now use Bridgette's special ability," Cody announced. "Whenever a Bridgette is generated, I can generate one Geoff to the field as long as it s either in my hand or in my deck. Thus, I generate Surfig Geoff!"
'Virtual' Geoff materialized next to Bridgette, wearing the same surfing wetsuit she was. He had '3' attack, '2' defense, and '3' hearts.
"He summoned me?" Geoff nearly jumped out of his shorts. "I'LL KILL HIM IF HE GETS ME KILLED!"
"I'm sure he's got a good reason," Bridgette reasoned with her boyfriend.
"Of course he does... he wants me DEAD!"
"Now, because Surfig Geoff is a misprinted card," Cody added, "he can reduce the defensive power of one character on the field to '0' for the duration of my turn!"
"Misprinted cards don't have extra powers!" claimed Chris.
"They do in this stupid game!"
Izzy's defense immediately dropped to '0'.
"Dude," Geoff chuckled. "Someone partied too hardy last night!"
"Geoff, you've got to take out Izzy!"
Geoff ran in, holding up his surfboard over his head as he did.
He whacked Izzy in the stomach, sending her flying back into Chris' podium, where her particles disintegrated upon impact.
"Wait!" Chris shouted. "Why didn't Izzy's bomb go off, killing Geoff as well?"
"Heh," Cody smiled, "it's because of this!"
Cody flipped up one of his two face-down cards. The sorcery card that appeared was called 'Coconut Token.'
"A Coconut Token can be used to take damage that would one-hit KO my attacking character. Therefore, Geoff is saved, and I only had to give up an inanimate object!"
"Yes way... and now, time to attack you directly! Bridgette, put a dent in him!"
Bridgette attacked, lowering Chris' life hearts from '20' to '18.'
"Ezekiel has an attack strength of '0,' so I'll end my turn here."
Sure enough, Ezekiel's stats were '0,' '2,' and '2.'
"My move!" Trent shouted. "To start, I'll generate Gal Pal Sadie!"
Sadie appeared and started dancing on the field.
"And now I trigger her special ability! I'm allowed to generate Pal Gal Katie to the field if Gal Pal Sadie is already there, as long as the card is already in my hand. And guess what?"
"I know you have her, so play her already!" Chris growled.
Katie appeared on the field. With her on the field, she and Sadie started to do the 'Bye Bye Bye' *NSYNC dance in perfect tandem. That's all they could do, though, as they both had '0' attack and '0' defense, along with '3' hearts apiece.
"We're fighting for our lives here," Cody reminded Trent. "I'm not sure Katie and Sadie help the cause."
"They do... once I use these!"
Trent activated both of his face-down sorcery cards. One read 'Magazine,' while the other was called 'Lindsay's Gamble.' The first just had a picture of a regular newsstand magazine, while the other was a photo of Lindsay in her sleeping outfit.
"Combining the Katie and Sadie cards with these two sorcery cards, I'm able to summon the most valuable card in the entire deck!"
"You mean the one card collectors would play a billion dollars just to own?" Chris asked, drooling with anticipation.
"That's right! Sacrificing Katie and Sadie... sorry, girls... I can now generate... Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model of the Year Lindsay!"
Lindsay was summoned on the field, dressed in nothing but her bathing suit. She had a beach ball in hand, which she was actively licking with her tongue. She stopped briefly to ask one question.
"Don't you wish this beach ball was you?" she said, winking at Chris suggestively.
"Dude!" Chris nearly melted. "That's so not fair. I feel my insides... melting!"
He then put his hands over his nostrils, as blood started to come out of his nose.
"How did you know that combo?" Cody asked Trent.
"Eh... a little birdie told me," Trent said.
Which was kinda true... as he had an active earpiece in his left lobe, from which he was receiving instructions.
Noah was sitting on the drawbridge outside, wearing headphones with a microphone attached to it. He was scanning through a 700-page leaflet, of which he held up the cover for all to see.
It said 'Silly Adult Card Game's Rules and Regulations.'
"Chris made me make the game, and now I'm using it against him."
"Noah's no longer my intern after this story," Chris made a mental note before turning his attention back to the battle. "Fine. End your turn so I can bask in the glory of Lindsay."
"Not so fast!" Geoff stopped him. "Do you remember Lindsay's special ability."
"Does everyone have a special ability?" asked Chris. "How is it special if everyone has one?"
"Lindsay's attract ability forces any male characters in your hand to be generated on the field immediately!"
Chris only had one card in his hand, though. And yet Trent's move had just forced him to play it. Duncan was generated on the field, with a chainsaw in hand.
"In addition," Trent added. "Lindsay immediately takes on the attack and defense stats of the strongest male character summoned!"
Lindsay had originally '4' attack, '1' defense, and '5' hearts, but her stats changed to '5' attack and '4' defense to match Duncan's.
"Beat that, hot shot!" Trent dared as he ended his turn.
"C'mon, guys!" Gwen said as she crossed her fingers. "You've gotta win!"
Owen, Bridgette, Geoff, Lindsay, and Beth all joined Gwen in cheering Trent and Cody on.
"Win for us!" they cheered. "Win for us! Win for us!"
"Boo!" hissed Heather. "Down in front!"
"You all won't be cheering after this turn!" Duncan predicted.
"I applaud you for your move," complimented Chris as he drew a card into what was his empty hand. "But that's all you're getting from me!"
"Especially after I play this!"
Chris activated one of his two face-down cards, the one called 'The Storm.'
"When activated," Chris smirked, "this sorcery card instantly destroys EVERY CARD ON THE FIELD AND IN OUR HANDS!"
"What?" Trent and Cody freaked.
"SAY GOODBYE TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS!"
All of the characters and cards on the field were eliminated.
Back at the lounge, Bridgette, Geoff, and Lindsay all started to fade out of existence. Duncan laughed at them... until he noticed he was fading with them.
"Lindsay summoned you to the field, idiot!" Heather scolded him.
That just left Heather standing alone against Gwen, Owen, and Beth.
"It's like the final three of TDI again!" Heather shouted with glee, before adding with a growl, "and Beth."
"Final two in TDA, thank you very much!" Beth reminded Heather of her adequate credentials.
"Now that the trash is gone," Chris continued, "everyone must draw cards until they have five in their hand."
Trent and Cody followed Chris' instruction. Once they had done so...
"I hope Gwen isn't among your new cards," Chris hinted, "because she's about to be sleeping with the fishes. Because I play this card!"
Chris pulled a card from his hand that read 'Cruel Trade-Off.'
"By sacrificing half of my life hearts," Chris said, as the number of hearts he had was cut from '18' to '9,' "both of you must discard your entire hand and draw five new cards!"
Trent and Cody both gulped. Neither of them had looked at their current hand yet. They weren't sure if Gwen had been killed after Chris' previous move. And if she hadn't, there was a good chance she would be killed by this one as well.
"She had better not be in your hands," Chris teased, "because if she ends up in the Grand Beyond, I automatically win, and all of you are deader than doorknobs!"
Both of the boys slowly discarded their hand, and waited to see if this was truly the end...
"I guess this is it... tell Brady I love him!" Beth said as she faded away.
"Does this mean there's no after-party?" Owen asked with disappointment, "there were going to be nachos!"
Beth and Owen both vanished, leaving Gwen and Heather alone in the lounge.
"It's just you and me, Gwennie."
"At least if Trent and Cody lose, I can take satisfaction in the fact that you're going down with us, Heather!"
Trent and Cody opened their eyes, and discovered that the battle hadn't ended. That meant...
"Gwen's still alive!" they said in unison.
"Lucky stiffs," cursed Chris. "But your decks are getting a little thin. Your luck won't hold out forever."
They each drew five cards and noted Chris' observation was spot on. There didn't seem to be many left in either of their decks.
"Funny thing, though... in this universe, forever isn't really that long. To prove my point... I generate Goddess Heather!"
Heather appeared in front of Chris' podium, wearing a Greek toga. That didn't seem too frightening, until Trent and Cody took a look at her stats.
Heather had '9' attack, '9' defense, and '9' hearts.
"Heather's the strongest character in the game!" laughed Chris. "There's no way you can defeat her!"
"Heather's the strongest?" grumbled Trent. "This game is rigged!"
"Unfortunately, Heather has a drawback. She cannot attack on the turn that she is generated. Therefore, I'll place the remainder of my cards face-down on the board, and end my turn. Be wary, gentlemen, because your lives end next turn!"
The odds were stacked against the boys. Not just because of Heather, but also due to a total of four face-downs on Chris' side of the field.
"It's hopeless!" Cody lowered his head. "We can't win now!"
Trent was about to share the sentiment when he decided to look at his new hand for the first time... and saw a glimmer of hope.
"Don't count your chickens before they're hatched," Trent said aloud. "I think we have a way to turn this around!"
Cody didn't quite understand until he glanced down at his hand. But once he saw what he had, a smile crept across his face.
"You know what? I think you're right, Trent!"
"What are you talking about?" Chris asked. "You guys have nothing. Nothing!"
"Don't be so sure. We're about to grasp victory from the jaws of defeat! And it starts now!"
Cody drew a card from his deck and put it in his hand. He pulled a different card out of his hand and showed it to Chris. It had a picture of Cody on it, from the TDI dodgeball challenge when he rubbed the ball against his shirt to give it a static charge.
"The comeback starts by me generating Cody the Playa in rush mode!"
Cody appeared, with ratings of '5,' '1', and '3,' respectively.
"Next, I play the sorcery card Ladies' Man! If any Cody is in play on the turn this is activated, then I can choose one female character on the field to lose three attack points for the duration of that turn. And I choose to use it on Goddess Heather."
Chris watched as Heather's attack power was reduced from '9' to '6.'
"Lame," Chris rolled his eyes. "Heather's still better than you, Cody!"
"Not done yet!" Cody responded. "Time to use Cody's special ability! Cody has the power on the turn it's summoned to allow any player on the field to normally generate one character in their hand onto the field in cower mode. And I've decided to pass that ability on to Trent."
"Good job, bro," Trent thanked Cody. "I'll make good use of it by generating Trent the Stud in rush mode!"
A virtual Trent made his entrance, strumming a chord on his guitar. He had '3' attack, '3' defense, and '5' hearts.
"Ha ha!" laughed Chris. "You two are wasting your turns endangering your own lives by putting your facsimiles in harm's way? Man, you guys are lame!"
"You won't be saying that after I make this move!" Cody shouted. "The next card I play will be Gwen Takes Her Revenge! It's a sorcery card that allows me to specially generate any Gwen character card to the field!"
"You betcha! Say hello to Best Friend Gwen!"
Gwen appeared on the battlefield, with a happy smile on her face. Her stats were '5,' '3', and '9.'
"We can be friends, right?" Gwen asked, posing the question to the 'virtual' Cody, Trent, and Heather.
"Gwen's got a special ability to show off, but I've decided not to use it right now. So I'll end my turn."
"And I'll start mine," Trent jumped in, "because Cody did what I needed him to do."
"If you mean put Gwen's life in danger," chuckled Chris, "then he sure did."
"Yeah, but go easy on the guy. He's not the only one putting Gwen's life on the line."
"Yep... I have one too! I generate Gwen the Angsty One in rush mode!"
A second Gwen generated, this one on Trent's side of the field. Unlike Cody's, though, Trent's Gwen had a frown on her face.
"Why are you always so darn happy?" this Gwen growled at Cody's Gwen. "This is a life-or-death struggle here!"
"Wait a minute!" Chris objected. "Two of the same character aren't allowed on the field at the same time! If it ever happens, all versions of that character are instantly destroyed!"
"Normally, yes," Cody agreed.
"But not in this case," Trent stated, providing the exception to the rule in the form of an exemption card in his hand.
"An exemption card? Those were banned from sanctioned competition last year, you doofuses!"
"Only in North America, Chris," Trent told him.
"Yeah! There were never banned in Australia!" Cody explained it.
As Cody said that, a kangaroo hopped into the room with a koala bear entrenched in its pouch.
"THIS DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!" Chris yelled.
"This story hasn't made any sense since word one," argued Cody. "Trent, play the card!"
"You got it, Cody, and so I play the exemption card Alternate Result!"
The two Gwens on the field disappear into a puff of smoke as soon as Trent played the card.
"Sure, our conflict Gwens are instantly vanquished, like you stated Chris. But with Alternate Result, we can still gain something out of this."
"Like a corpse?" Chris raised an eyebrow, half-joking.
"Trent can use Alternate Result," Cody explained, "to generate a new Gwen, that combines the best of the two Gwens that just got taken out!"
"And I'm using it to generate Island Winner Gwen!"
A new Gwen appeared on the field, this one holding up a $100,000 check in triumph! Her stats were '1,' '1,' and '9.'
"But Gwen didn't win 'Total Drama Island!' in North America!"
"She did in Australia!" Cody said with glee.
"And now she's going to win this battle for us!" Trent added.
"How's that?" Chris asked. "With that measly attack power?"
Trent and Cody shook their heads.
"For someone who created this game, you'd think you would know all of the character's special abilities."
"I didn't create this game, Noah did! Which reminds me... not only is Noah now fired, but he's also dead. D-E-D, DEAD, DEAD, DEAD!"
"You'll never get the chance to punish him," Trent smirked, "because if there's a Trent and a Cody on the field, Island Winner Gwen can activate her special ability! It's simply called..."
Chris gasped as Trent and Cody said the ability in unison.
With those words, 'virtual' Heather was instantly destroyed, and Chris screamed in anguish as his remaining life hearts dropped to '0.'
"Curse whomever invented the phrase 'deus ex machina!'"
Those were the last words Chris would speak, as Chris' podium exploded and the entire chamber became covered in white light, blinding Trent and Cody even as they felt the castle start to rumble around them.
The next time Trent and Cody could see anything, all they saw was the remnants of the castle, strewn all around them. Bricks and mortar were scattered all about, but miraculously none of it was within five feet of them. Up in the skies, the dark clouds had all disappeared, and had been replaced by a cloud-free, sunny sky.
"We did it," Trent said after a brief pause. "We did it."
"We won," Cody breathed a sigh of relief. "We won."
Trent and Cody wrapped their arms around each other in a manly hug.
"Ahem," someone coughed behind them.
They let go of each other and blushed when they saw Gwen standing there, tapping her right foot on the ground with impatience.
"Y'know, there is one thing we haven't resolved yet," she reminded them.
Trent and Cody looked at Gwen, then at each other.
"How much time do we have?" Trent glanced Cody's way.
Cody looked at the clock built into a miniature aluminum-colored dodgeball.
"A minute, give or take."
"Then there's only one option."
Suddenly, the entire cast, alive and well, appeared around the trio to voice their only choice.
"VIVA LAS VEGAS!" they all yelled.
(Shut up and put your money where your mouth is
That's what you get for waking up in Vegas
Get up and shake the glitter off your clothes now
That's what you get for waking up in Vegas!)
Chef presided over a ceremony in Las Vegas as Gwen got married to both Trent and Cody at the same time. Bridgette served as the maid of honor while Lindsay was the flower girl, as Kate Perry's "Waking up in Vegas" played from the new MP3 player attached to her hip sash. On the opposite side, Geoff was the best man, while Tyler served as the ring bearer.
Everyone else was in the pews, watching the ceremony unfold... all with various good and bad emotional reactions to the three-person union.
"I can't believe I was invited to this stupid thing," complained Heather. "Much less that I decided to actually come!"
"The door's that-a-way!" LeShawna said, pointing to the back of the room. "No one's forcin' ya to be here!"
"Don't the three of them look cute together?" Katie asked Sadie.
"They look absolutely cute together!" replied Sadie.
"That gives me an idea!"
"You mean... have a three-person marriage?"
Katie gasped. "You were thinking the same thing as me?"
"Of course I was thinking the same thing as you!"
"Then you must be thinking the same person to be our husband!"
"If the same person is Justin, then yes!"
The two of them sneaked under the pew in front of them, getting a hold of Justin before he could escape. They each leaned against him and gazed dreamily into his eyes. Justin... just gulped in fear...
"I have a feeling this ending's not good for my modeling career!"
In another pew, Izzy was fast asleep as her arms and legs were wrapped around Owen's left arm... and the big lug had a huge smile on his face.
"Ha ha! I hope my wedding's like this one day. Only with tons and tons more food. Especially during the ceremony!"
He chuckled again, but upon stopping, he noticed that Izzy had woken up, and glared at him.
"I like you and all," answered Izzy, "but Izzy refuses to be tied down to a bed for the rest of her life!"
Owen gave Izzy an odd look, as if he didn't understand what she meant. Then, even more surprisingly, she began laughing.
"Ha ha ha ha! Izzy's just kidding around! Of course I wanna spend the rest of my natural life with you, ya big lug! Oh, and the afterlife, too... 'cause I'm totally into being married while ghost!"
"Alright!" Owen pumped his fist with glee. "We're getting married first thing tomorrow!"
"No way," Courtney cut in, leaning in between Owen and Izzy. "I've already called dibs on the next marriage ceremony!"
"Wait!" Duncan, who was sitting next to Courtney, freaked. "What?"
"I must do it! For the good of the people of Ontario Falls!"
Courtney turned his head the other way, giving Duncan the perfect opportunity to pull out his brainwashing gun at aim at his head. And he was about to squeeze the trigger, when he saw a sight that made him freeze in place.
Courtney and Alejandro... were kissing!
"Wait!" Duncan uttered. "What?"
Stunned stupid as Courtney and Alejandro continued to swap saliva, Duncan didn't even notice Izzy rip the ray gun from his hands. And then shoot it at herself.
"Ho oh, I feel funny..."
Izzy then, without warning, grabbed the dazed Duncan by the arm and started pulling him hurriedly towards the exit.
"The Alamo will be MINE!" she yelled, dragging Duncan behind her.
"But what about our wedding?" Owen shouted, running out after them.
DJ breathed a sigh of relief as the trio exited the chapel.
"Whew!" he exclaimed. "I'm glad I'm in no rush to get hitched."
"That's not necessarily a good thing," Harold told him. "In the social hierarchy, people with a significant other are more likely to be popular and to get noticed in the real world."
"It's true," Beth added. "Nobody paid attention to me until Brady and I got together."
"News flash," Noah said to her, "nobody still pays attention to you."
Up at the altar, Chef was about to get to the part everyone had been waiting for. But first...
"Now, if anyone thinks these three should not be legally wed," he said aloud, "speak now... OR KEEP YOUR DAMN TRAPS SHUT!"
Everyone gasped as their heads turned back to the chapel entrance. Standing there, fully decked out in a wedding dress (and the only person actually in wedding-appropriate clothing), was Sierra.
"If anyone's gonna marry Cody, IT'S ME!" she yelled.
Trent and Gwen looked at Cody oddly.
"Do you know her?" Trent asked.
"I swear I've never seen that girl in my life!" Cody replied, although it sounded like a plea of desperation aimed at Gwen.
"Alright, crackpot!" Eva said, grabbing Sierra by the arm. "This fake wedding's invitation only!"
"No one's gonna keep me from my Cody!" Sierra yelled.
Sierra grabbed Eva, and the two startled wrestling on the carpet.
"You DARE try to outwrestle me?"
"You have NO idea who you're messing with, sister!"
Trent, Gwen, and Cody looked at each other, and they had no idea what to do. But someone else did.
"Break it up, ladies!" Ezekiel said as he walked over to the fighting gals. "Wrestling is beneath you, eh!"
Both girls responded to Ezekiel's attempts to break them up... by both simultaneously delivering a fist to his face. Ezekiel went down, and was knocked out instantly.
"For crying out loud!" grumbled Chef.
Chef pocketed his little black marriage ceremony procedures book and walked over to where Eva and Sierra were grappling. Seconds later, no one could bear to watch as Chef brutally handled the situation by throwing a flurry of punches no one would want to willingly be on the receiving end of.
The next time anyone opened their eyes, Eva, Sierra, and for some odd reason, Ezekiel, had been booted from the chapel, and Chef was back standing at the makeshift altar with the happy threesome.
"ANYONE ELSE OBJECT?"
"No!" everyone answered, in perfect unison.
"Good! Then, with the power invested in me by the powers that be, I now pronounce you husband and wife... and, uh, husband."
Chef looked at Trent, Gwen, and Cody, having not thought beforehand that he would have to modify the last few sentences.
"Um... you may now BOTH kiss the bride?"
Given Gwen only had one pair of lips, Trent and Cody had to settle for the next best thing in order to make it fair.
They simultaneously kissed her on the cheek.
"Hooray!" everyone in the chapel cheered.
"May I now present," Chef declared, hesitantly, "uh, for the first time, um... Mister and Misses and Mister... you know what? FIGURE IT OUT YOUR DAMN SELVES!"
Everyone cheered, and Gwen reached down and grabbed each of the boys' hands. Together, the trio raced down the aisle and towards the exit, as the gathered cheered once again. Both Bridgette and Lindsay were crying with happiness, but the latter so much so that a puddle was forming on the floor around her. Geoff gave two thumbs up, one for each of the lucky husbands, while Tyler applauded enthusiastically.
Once outside the chapel, Trent, Gwen, and Cody found an open stagecoach waiting for them. The three hopped in as the rest of the gang sprinted out to wave them farewell one last time. Seeing the group gathering, Gwen stuck her head out the window just as the coach began pulling away. She held out the wedding bouquet for all to see, and then threw it into the air, back towards the group. Most of the girls reached up to try and grab it, and it bounced off of several hands, including Lindsay's, Courtney's, Bridgette's, LeShawna's, and Beth's, before landing... in the arms of Heather, who was off to the side and wasn't even actively going for it in the first place!
Gwen snickered as Trent and Cody joined her in looking out the window, and the trio waved goodbye to their friends. The adventure was over, they survived, they were all happy...
And they had forgotten why the three had agreed to star in this parody to begin with.
[happy endings for all]
"Wait, wait, wait. That's it?"
Chris and the author (that's me) were meeting after production had finished on 'Total Drama Fantasy' and the reality show host was seeing the product days before its premiere.
"13 chapters," Chris shouted, "and Gwen chooses both of them? Really?"
"Well," I argued, pulling out a chart, "surveys say readers are accepting of an ending in which the status quo is the final result. In the current universe of the show, Gwen's single, so the story ends with her uncommitted."
"She's married to two dudes! That's as far from uncommitted as you can get! And people won't accept this! There are Trent-Gwen fans and there are Cody-Gwen fans! There AREN'T Trent-Gwen-Cody fans!"
"How would you know? This is a fandom that suddenly thinks Bridgette should be in a relationship with a pole!"
"I'm sorry, but I refuse to accept this! Rewrite the ending!"
"Then you better gimme a pay raise!"
"Pay raise? I wasn't even paying you to begin with!"
"Fine! Do it yourself! Strike my name off this project. I refuse to have my name attached to anything that doesn't keep my vision intact."
The author (me) marched out of the room, slamming the door behind me.
"Oh well. With him gone, this story can truly end in a way that'll get everyone talking!"
At a castle-like structure in an unknown location the night of the rush wedding in Las Vegas, Gwen was leading Trent and Cody up the stairs to the top of the tallest tower.
It didn't take long for them to reach the door leading into the lone room in the top.
"I can't wait to see what you guys have in store," Gwen said with a seductive smile in her face. "Just... give me a minute to get ready."
Gwen went inside and closed the door behind her. Trent and Cody grinned from ear-to-ear, and added a chest bump for exuberance.
"Man, I've been waiting for this day since the first time I met her," Trent said aloud.
"Me too," Cody agreed. "So, I get first dibs, right?"
"What? No! I do!"
"That's not fair! I called it, way back in Chapter 1!"
"That was in reference to seeing who got the first chance to flirt with her... gah!"
"And Gwen never outright rejected me, so I still have dibs!"
"Look, there's gotta be a better way to resolve this."
"How about we just do a double?"
Trent and Cody thought about it for a second, and then they quickly waved away that suggestion.
"Two naked guys in one story's two too many for me already," Trent stuck out his tongue in disgust.
"Seconded. So... what other way can we decide who goes first?"
Both of them racked their brains for a few seconds, but once they saw the other clench their fists, they knew what they had to do.
"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!" they yelled, performing the motions with each word.
On the first attempt, they both pitched rock.
"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!"
On the second, paper.
"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!"
The third, scissors.
"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!"
Then back to rock...
(30 minutes later...)
"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!"
"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!"
"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!"
(Two hours later...)
"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!"
(The next morning...)
"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!"
Both presented the Vulcan salute.
"Heh heh," they both chuckled. "Spock."
(Five years later...)
An older, impatient Gwen, was standing in the doorway with her arms crossed over her chest as older versions of Trent and Cody continued to play... and continued to draw.
"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!"
"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!"
"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!"
"Worst five years of my life," Gwen commented.
"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!" the boys continued.
Gwen shook her head as the two continued to play, then walked past them and back down the tower stairs.
"I'm off to find someone to relate to," she said without looking back.
"Yeah, see you later," the two boys said, not paying attention.
Gwen then departed, and continued to play rock, paper, scissors on and on and on and on...
(Ha ha! Now THAT'S a Drama-filled ending!
The readers will eat this up!)
The End... for real!
*Author's Notes and Minor Commentary*
And so with that, "Total Drama Fantasy" comes to an end! This was a very fun story to write, and just snowballed into pure insanity at points. The good kind of insanity, of course, not the bad kind.
The story has evolved so much over the release process. Characters got added that weren't originally going to be in it to begin with, and some events got changed around. Especially the ending. To be frank, originally, I was going to follow the route of the TV show and offer two endings for you guys to vote for. One with Trent winning Gwen's heart, the other with Cody claiming victory. But, as I came down towards the end of the story, I realized I hadn't quite spent enough time on their 'rivalry' to make it worthwhile for either one to win outright. So I compromised and had them 'share' Gwen. I hope that's okay. Especially given what's happened so far in 'World Tour' (and I'm not saying more on that point, because I know there are a few Canadian readers here and they're still pretty early in the season).
This tale may be over, but you still haven't seen everything of "Total Drama Fantasy" yet. This October, I'll be releasing a special edition on my website, Freedom Fighter's Library (see my profile page for the link). This special edition includes all 13 chapters, plus bonus material like uncut and alternate scenes, a guide to all the jokes and references, and more! Go to my profile page or follow my Twitter (freefightwriter), as I'm now on there too, for up-to-the-date information on when that gets released.
Thanks to everyone who's read this story! Please take the time to leave a review, regardless of whether you liked it or not. I try my best to reply to all reviews, even if just to say thanks!
Until the next 'Total Drama' tale, folks!
- Freedom Fighter