"Edward," Bella cooed softly, gazing at her lover's face, tracing her fingers along his defined, rock-hard chest, "Oh, I've missed you so."

"And I, you," Edward replied, his strong arms wrapped gently around her petite waist.

"Why did you leave me?" She whispered, her glance turning to the forest floor. Edward's grasp around her tightened instinctively, as he paused.

"You were in danger, Bella," Edward said, lifting her chin to face him once more. "But I know now, that it was wrong. I'll never leave you again. Is there…. anything I can do? To make it up to you?"

The color rushed to Bella's cheeks as she automatically replied, "You know what I want."

After a small pause, Edward met Bella's lips with a tender, yet passionate kiss. A muffled moan was let out between each kiss, as Edward's hands roamed all over her body. A thrust of his hips sent her careening out of control. Her hands went around his neck, her fingers tangling themselves in his bronze locks.

"O-oh, god!" She moaned, the heat in her lower region beginning to become unbearable. A slick tongue slithered along her lower lip, begging for entrance. She immediately complied, her tongue eagerly meeting with his in a lustful battle.

From her waist, his hands snaked under her shirt and along her bare back, as she arched from his chilled hands, feeling shivers throughout her spine. She felt her bra loosening and swiftly removed, as she soon realized that Edward, moments before, had unclasped the hook.

Breaking the kiss for a brief moment, Edward mused, "I hope you don't like this shirt too much." Not even giving her time to respond, he ripped her shirt in half with one swift jerk.

"Edward!" Bella gasped, shocked by the sudden rush of cool air and feeling her nipples hardening from the chill.

In a flash, Bella found herself lying on the floor, with her lover playfully crouching over her. He flashed her his trademark, crooked smirk as he inched his way up her body, trailing hot kisses from her stomach to her jaw line.

"I'll buy you a new one, don't worry," Edward mischievously whispered, while nibbling her earlobe.

Bella desperately grabbed at his zipper to remove the denim jeans. She noticed an unusually small tent in his boxers. 'Maybe he's not fully aroused,' Bella thought. But as she removed his last article of clothing in anticipation, there it was, in all its glory; very erect, but very small.

Bella paused, staring in horror at the tiny phallus. "Edward… what the fuck is that?" The idea of that inside of her seemed almost repulsive.

Casually, Edward glanced down briefly and looked back up to his paramour. "Huh?" Edward questioned.

"It's so… tiny," Bella replied, looking at the appendage distastefully. "I thought you'd be well, you know, bigger?"

Edward grimaced and blurted out, "But it sparkles!" Not hearing a response, Edward sighed and said, "It's not the length that matters, Bella. It's how you use it, Jesus Christ."

Bella shook her head. "No, no I can't do this," she said, inching away in utter disappointment.

"But Bella," Edward cried, reaching out to her. "Don't you love me? A penis is not all that matters!"

Clearing her throat, Bella replied, "Well, to a point it does." She cocked her hip out, raised her index finger, and pursed her lips, as she continued in a sassy voice, "I am a woman, and I have needs to be fulfilled and THAT can't do the job." She glanced disapprovingly at his penis. "So I am leaving, and looking for a bigguh and bettuh man." (AMEN, MUTHAFUCKA)

She turned to walk away, but in a flash, Edward was there in the way, eyes smoldering black, with the fury of over 9,000 suns. She took a few steps back, surprised of the sudden change of his attitude.

"If I can't have you," the pale stalker growled with fangs bared, "No one can!" And with that, he plunged his claws into her abdominal region, tangling his fingers amongst her organs, his eyes rolling back as he felt the warm, wet, viscose engulfing his hand. Bella let out a shrill screech in immense pain, as warm blood splashed Edward's face (lol Watchmen).

He moaned in ecstasy, withdrawing his hand from her entrails, as he smeared her own crimson blood across her cheek. "Taste it," he ordered, frenzied with bloodlust. He shoved his fingers between Bella's lips, forcing her to taste the remnants of guts on his hand. Her face, painted dark red, twisted in pain and disgust, the muffled, choked sobs echoing throughout the vast forest: cries of wordless plea.

He knocked her down to the ground, prying her legs apart as far as possible, hearing a crack, as her hips dislocated. Then he leaned towards her womanhood baring his fangs against the warm, soft flesh, so thin, that he could smell the blood coursing under it. Temptation gripped Edward as he buried his teeth into the folds. The wild screams of agony were ignored as he continued to masticate her genitals, with scarlet liquid spewing out from the bloody pulp, pooling onto the forest floor.

After quenching his thirst, he withdrew from in between her legs, smiling down at her with a smoldering gaze, lips drenched in dark red. Her cries had grown fainter, as the life began to leave her bloodstained and broken body …literally!

Reaching down into gorged hole in her stomach, accompanied by the sound of squishing, Edward began to pull out her small intestines, winding them around her neck thrice (three times the charm!~). Tightening the makeshift noose, he leapt over a tree branch, hanging the lifeless corpse of his former lover upon the tall oak.

He stood in front of his masterpiece, admiring his brilliant handiwork: a bloody ragdoll suspended in mid-air, millions of sanguine droplets falling like rain onto the earth, blood soaking into the soil, sating nature's thirst.

Adjacent to Bella's corpse, there came a small voice from behind a tree. "Is …is it safe?" Jacob crept out cautiously from his vantage point, his gaze set upon his lover: Edward.

"Yes, my love," Edward cooed, removing the pathetic, phony penis, which had covertly hidden his massive member. (there is no logic behind this event at all, it just happened, okay?)

Jacob's eyes twinkled in delight, as Edward said, "It's all over. The bitch is dead. We can be together now." Jacob reached out with a needy hand, clinging to Edward like a child.

Edward said curtly, "Now bend over."

Jacob gave a frantic nod and said with excitement in his voice, "Yes, master."

And so, Edward and Jacob screwed each other all night long. But before, Edward turned to you and said, "… the game."