Just a random idea brought on by Rock Star energy and kool-aid. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: Riyuto-san does not own Naruto, but thank God neither does Toei.


Sasuke vs. Naruto: The Aftermath

Naruto's wide grin was plastered on his face as he made his way back to Konoha. He hummed a lively tune as he dragged the sled behind him. He was only about half of an hour from the village at this point, and he couldn't wait to show what he had done to all of his friends.

"Mmmrpphh!" Came a weak, muffled cry from behind Naruto.

Naruto turned his head around and grinned at Sasuke, who was lying on a sled. He looked beat up all to hell. His arms were limp and broken, his legs as well, with a blindfold across his eyes and duck tape across his mouth.

Naruto turned back around, still grinning. "What was that Sasuke? You're sorry? Oh, I bet you are, Sasuke. I bet you are." He heard Sasuke groan. "Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke. Remember what you said a few hours ago?" Naruto chuckled.

"What was it?'You can't beat me, you loser'" Spoke Naruto, using a deep voice to mock Sasuke. "' I have the Mangekyo Sharingan, you don't have a chance in hell!'" He heard Sasuke moan again. "Oh, just how wrong you were, Sasuke. I told you that I had Sage mode, and you called it a useless technique. Sure whooped the crap out of you, didn't it?"

"Mrphhurpphhh..." Moaned the fallen Uchiha.

"Oh yeah, thanks for reminding me. You also said that 'With this Sharingan, I can control the Kyuubi within you'. Remember that part, Sasuke? I do. I remember it well. I also remember how every time you missed me with your crappy aim you yelled 'No Way' like it was difficult to dodge your crappy little fireballs."

Naruto paused for a moment, and Sasuke thanked God that Naruto had finally shut up. The entire trip back was him gloating. At one point, Sasuke was convinced that he had died and had wound up in Hell. He winced when Naruto began speaking again.

"'My speed is greater than yours, Naruto.'" Yeah, I don't think so, Sasuke. I don't think you fully understand just how bad I beat you, Sasuke. Yep. Remember, I told you I would break your arms and legs if you didn't give up. You told me, 'just try it. None of your attack will reach me.' I did what you told me to, so I don't know why you're mad.

"Oh yeah, While you were gone I saved the village. Yep, some asshole wiped it all away, and I beat him. Compared to him, you were a walk in the park." Naruto chuckled again. "'I have Mangekyou,' Yeah, well I had Sage mode. Guess which one won, Sasuke. Come on, I'll give you three guesses."

"Shuu up ooo ooosr (Shut up you loser!)" Whined the limp Uchiha while pushing his face into the wood in a vain attempt to somehow ease the torment that was Naruto's voice.

"Sasuke, I know you can't see yourself right now, but I'm not the one that was beaten within an inch of my life, so it's not right to call me the loser. But it's okay, I know that you're only calling me that because I hit you too hard. But you were the one that told me not to hold back."

"But it's all going to be okay, Sasuke. I'm sure you'll learn how to be a law abiding citizen again. And if they punish you too much, you can always do what you did when I broke your arms. You can cry like a little baby."

Naruto heard a defiant groan come from Sasuke, so Naruto jerked the sled a little to shut him up. "You know what I still can't get over? Just how much crap you talked, but you literally could not back it up to save your life." Naruto took in a deep breath before continuing. "And don't worry; you won't go straight to prison. You're going to spend a couple weeks in the hospital with your favorite kunoichi."

Sasuke gave a worried moan. "That's right, Sakura-chan is going to be at your bedside, asking you question after question and reprimanding you for being such a loser. Then she'll feed you, and then she'll start talking to you again. Don't worry, it will probably only go on for a few months. And I'm sure that Ino and all those other girls will be at your bedside after Sakura-chan is finished, just talking and talking and talking. They'll tell you how much they missed you and how much they love you. Maybe they'll feed you and hang all over you as well."

Sasuke was sweating as he clenched his eyes shut tightly, imagining all of his fan girls that had annoyed him to no end back when he was still a willing member of the village. "Oo Gah pweed joos lut mhe dey" (Oh God please just let me die)

Naruto heard that and chuckled. "You're funny Sasuke. It's almost like you think you can get out of this somehow. I guess it's okay to dream though, I mean, it's not like you can do much more than that right now anyway." Naruto tilted his head up and let out a chuckle. "Uchiha eliteā€¦" He muttered, grinning.

Naruto could see the village now, and he let out a sigh, knowing that his fun was about to end. He was probably about another minute from reaching the gates. Naruto glanced back at Sasuke, and smirked for his last one. "Hey, Sasuke." He paused, watching Sasuke reluctantly glance up at him. His bloodshot eyes twitched as they locked with Naruto's, which were closed because he was grinning so hard. "I'm going to tell everybody just how badly I kicked your ass.

"Believe it."


Yep, a short one-shot I wrote during a car ride because I couldn't find my Mp3 player. Eh, remember to review.

EDIT: Yeah, wrote this a while ago. It was after reading so many chapters, and this is basically my reaction to how Kishi keeps building Sasuke up as such a powerful villain. Not expecting many reviews, but hey it was kinda fun to write.

On another note the new Bonds of Time chapter should be up by Friday or Saturday (if you are among my usual readers)