Rating: T

Genre: Humor/General

Warnings: Nothing indecent here, unfortunately, if you don't count snarky Slytherins. A very subtle LW/ASP pre-slash if you look carefully!

A/N: Shameless new-gen Slytherins ahoy! Its set in Albus' first year and Louis' fourth year, so it's a prequel to The Ashwinder Incident. While it's not full-blown pre-slash (due to Albus being...duh, eleven/twelve years old in this one), read the warning up-top. This story just sets the mood in my Ashwinder-verse and introduces some extra characters to add bulk to future stories with our quite obscure couple. :)

With that note, enjoy!


It was a relatively ordinary morning. Winter was slowly coming to a close and still the Great Hall mirrored the outside by a small draft of falling snow from the high ceiling that disappeared before reaching the four long tables. The tables were semi-crowded, since breakfast had just begun and owls began to slowly make their descent towards their appropriate recipients for today's mail.

One of the far end tables had it's usual cacophony of boisterous chattering, which almost covered most of the sound in the Hall. Their spontaneous attitudes seem to mirror the crimson linings of their robes.

"Bah, stupid Gryffindors and their morning moods," One of the Slytherin fourth years grumbled from the completely opposite end of the tables. He waved them off irritatingly when a roar of laughter emitted from there. "Do they all just throw Cheering Charms at each other before breakfast or something?"

Many of his peers murmured or grunted in response. No Slytherin was ever amicable in the morning.

A sixth year Slytherin prefect regally pointed her toast to the far end of the Slytherin table. "I think it's more of a Weasley thing."

"How do you gander, Selwyn?" They all looked at the direction she was pointing.

Down where all the first year Slytherins were designated to eat at, a messy mop of black hair and notable pair of startling green eyes was sitting at the very end. The owner of said physical attributes continued to smile fondly at a package delivered by a tawny owl previously.

"Mother sent me a pair of stunning dragon earrings and I still didn't have that expression in the morning!" Valeri Selwyn reinstated tartly, dropping her toast onto her plate and taking a sip of her tea. "It's definitely a Weasley thing."

"Ah, that Albus Potter boy," the fourth year peered somewhat interestingly at the oblivious boy. "You don't see him much in the Common Room, do you?"

Valeri shrugged. "How should I know? I don't acquaint myself with fresh meat unless my parents dictate that I should. Mother says our family doesn't have to deal with negative press like the Malfoys do. Which explains why that Scorpius kid is friends with him."

Though, Scorpius had yet to make an appearance at breakfast. Like his father, he was notorious for being a late sleeper.

"Also, the Potter boy spends more time with students from other Houses, preferably his relatives," A fifth year grunted, adding to the conversation. "Quite a shocker when he was sorted to our House."

The fourth year snorted through his nose. "Oh, yes. How can we forget that brilliant show of pride from none other than James Potter himself: 'Oi, Al! Pack your bags 'cause Dad's gonna disown ya!'. Nearly made his own brother burst into tears."

"Barbarians, the whole lot of them," Valeri sneered. "Especially that James Potter bloke. Inter-House Relations Committee can shove it. He sets the bar back a few decades! You know I caught the git trying to hex a few of our own a couple weeks ago down in Charms? I sent him to the Hospital Wing with a pair of bat wings on his head, thought it clashed nicely with that ball of fire he calls a hairstyle."

The group snickered at the remark.

"There is at least one good thing that came out of Gryffindor," a seventh year Slytherin butted in. "Fred the freaking maniac Weasley the Second."

They all murmured with begrudging respect.

Valeri sat her elbow on the table and rested her chin on her palm. "Best damn Chaser I've seen in a while, even I have to admit. I heard he's being drafted into the Wigtown Wanderers as soon as he finishes Hogwarts this year."

"Yeah, well I heard one of his uncles aren't too happy about that," the seventh year elaborated cheekily. "You know Fred's younger sister, Roxanne? The loud one from Hufflepuff? Apparently, their uncle told Weasley to accept no team but the Chudley Cannons! Can you believe that bunch of balderdash?"

The table erupted with laughter, even surprising the Gryffindors from far off.

"Which uncle?" Valeri demanded amidst the chatter. "The Weasley clan breeds like Puffskeins!"

"Rose Weasley's father, I think," the seventh year shrugged. "That first year Ravenclaw?"

One of the listening Slytherins slammed his head on the table. "How can you keep track of all of them?"

"You think that's all of them, Zabini?" the seventh year smirked. "I think there's like, four more Weasleys that hasn't even stepped foot at Hogwarts yet."

"Three Weasleys, one Potter to be exact," Valeri corrected smartly. "But it still counts."

The fourth year boy shrugged off the gapes few of the stray Slytherin listeners were giving the group.

"Well, it wasn't just a Weasley that seemed to reform Gryffindor. That Ted Lupin guy was pretty cool back when he was in school. Taught me a few DADA spells in my second year when he substituted for Professor Glicks after he caught the dragon pox."

A rather pretentious looking Slytherin looked up from her Ancient Runes book. "The guy who can change his appearance? Mother says those kind of wizards are bloody rare."

"A Metamorphmagus," Valeri responded. "That's what Professor Flitwick said when I asked. They can change into whatever they desire without need of a potion or a spell. A bloody genetic lottery, that Lupin kid received. Even I'm a bit jealous!"

"I'll never forget that guy," the Slytherin girl set her Ancient Runes book down primly. "Everyday, his head was a different color than the last and it wasn't the normal colors. Bright blue, violet, pink-Professor Janeway gave him a five month's worth of detentions because he morphed his entire head into a lime colored fwooper and chased her around the classroom. And everyone knows how much she despised that creature."

The seventh year nodded, smirking at the memory. "And of course, he was also notorious for the literal flame war his admirers started for his attention."

"I remember that," Valeri looked up, smirking at the memory. "My brother had quite the time picking up all the rebound Slytherins after that bloodshed. Of course, it wasn't a surprise when he was caught snogging that Veela, Victoire."

"Speaking of Veelas," A female Slytherin with curled hair raised an eyebrow suggestively, a smile slowly gracing her pointed features. "What say you of Louis Weasley?"

Valeri smiled back and they and the rest of the group leaned slightly to look towards the Ravenclaw table where said Weasley was quietly reading an advanced Arithmancy book. His usual huge gaggle of admirers surrounded him, but he seemed to not notice them. "Also quite a rarity that one. A male wizard with Veela traits."

"How can we forget that freak of nature, Louis Weasley?" the seventh year scoffed viciously. "Nearly hexed my limbs off when we tried to do the traditional hazing with our first years, specifically that Albus Potter kid. How dangerous was it to hang the kid by the legs over the North Tower anyways? It's not like we were gonna drop him! Threatened to make our lives a living hell if we ever touched the kid again."

Valeri raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Hanging some kid over the North Tower isn't considered dangerous?"

"Of course not!" the seventh year defended, though the group merely stared at him.

The fourth year straightened his tie primly and cleared his throat. "Albus Potter is Louis Weasley's favorite cousin, from what I gander, so I'm not surprised that you incurred his wrath by messing with him."

"They are pretty close," the curly haired Slytherin tapped a finger to her chin thoughtfully. "And Potter does follow Weasley around like a lost puppy from time to time. But a lot of Weasley's admirers, at least from what I heard, complain that Weasley pays too much attention to Potter and vice versa. Quite the possessive bunch, aren't they?"

"Gah!" Zabini scoffed, irritated. "The Weasleys are a bunch of disgusting blood traitors that everyone is interested in just because the Chosen One married into their family! There is nothing remotely redeeming to them as a pure-blood family and you all are exacerbating the situation! Have you lot no pride in your blood?"

Quite stunned at Zabini's breakdown, the groups' quiet awkwardness only ended when Zabini left in a fit of rage.

The seventh year snorted. "Jeez, what crawled up his bum and festered?"

Valeri glared at him, her expression a mix of disgust and horror. "That's exactly what I would like to imagine while eating my porridge, Rosier, thank you for that brilliant mental image." Rosier snickered in response.

"Someone is still sore after that last Inter-House Relations committee meeting last week," the curled haired Slytherin used her fork to mimic a crazy motion on the side of her temple, obviously referring to Zabini. "Had a trust exercise and Zabini was supposed to catch James Potter's girlfriend from Hufflepuff. Zabini thought it'd be hilarious if he stepped back the moment she fell backwards. BIG mistake. She fell, started to cry and not just James, but every Weasley in the room hexed the living shit out of Zabini. You know how they get when you mess with one of their own. Zabini was covered in boils, antlers and inflated limbs for days."

Rosier whistled in awe. "I guess it does pay to have an army of relatives at your disposal."

The curled haired Slytherin made a so-so with her hand. "Enough of the git, let's get back to sexy, veela-pants!"

Obviously referring to Louis Weasley, the group got right back on topic.

"His mother was the Beauxbatons Champion back in the last Triwizard Tournament," one Slytherin piped up. "And his father is a notable Curse Breaker and I think a werewolf."

"You were misinformed," Valeri interrupted. "I heard that he was only slightly cursed and only had a few werewolf attributes."

The misinformed Slytherin huffed. "Well aren't you Ms. Information."

"Of course I would know," She snapped back. "As a pure-blood, one must know other pure-blood families as well! No matter how...unorthodox they may be. Surely you would know that, Parkinson?"

Parkinson blushed angrily at the remark, but said nothing and returned to her eggs.

There was a moment of silence before the fourth year Slytherin decided to push the conversation along.

"Speaking of Beauxbatons, doesn't Louis Weasley have another sister?"

This time, it was not Valeri that answered, but the curly haired Slytherin. "Yeah, her name is Dominique. A Veela too. She's the only one in the family to follow her mother's lineage and enroll in Beauxbatons Academy. She's also on the Teen Witch magazine, modeling for her uncle's WonderWitch's product sister, RebelWitch. She's getting quite famous with it. My aunt says her picture is on every store window in Paris."

"I have the dragon hide studded choker that she wore on fashion week," A Hufflepuff girl walked by cheerily. "The one that not only makes your skin blemish-free and shimmer, but enrages your folks because of how raunchy it looks!"

Rosier continued to stare at Louis' profile as the group nodded in agreement as the Hufflepuff walked off. "Kind of a rare thing for a Weasley to have too, that blond hair? Bet you can pick them out at family reunions, right Burke?"

The curly haired Slytherin nodded appreciatively at Louis' direction. "I enjoy blonds, especially that shade. Of course, there's no way I'd go and try to hump his leg like those cats in heat." Rosier laughed.

"You know, Teddy Lupin actually had decoy girlfriends to fend off his admirers at one point," Valeri scrutinized the half-breed as he indifferently leafed through his book. "It's a wonder why he hasn't picked out from the litter yet for that reason alone."

"Maybe he's a bit more honorable than that?" the fourth year inquired softly.

Burke discretely sipped her juice. "Or maybe he's more into blokes?" Her best friend, Geneveve, spat out her coffee and began to cough, forcing Burke to slap her friend's back to take the edge off.

"Alright there, Flint?" Rosier smirked lewdly.

Geneveve glared at him when she finished coughing. "Piss off, Rosier."

"Where'd you come up with that reasoning, Carrigan?" Valeri demanded, uncaring of Geneveve's episode. This was certainly news to her.

Carrigan shrugged. "Just a witch's sense, I suppose. Imagine him with a girl-any girl, I dare you."

While the group fell silent as they mentally followed Carrigan's instructions, the fourth year watched as with every page Louis turned, his unnatural blue eyes would trail away from the book. Following their direction, he found them momentarily gazing at the opposite end of the Slytherin table where the first years sat. A rather strange glint in his eyes would glaze over before returning to a new page of his book.

There was a continued moment of silence when an uncertain look came over most of them. "See, I told you." Carrigan responded tautly. "It seems impossible right? It doesn't fit at all."

Rosier sat back and crossed his arms. "I always had the feeling that Weasley was a bit of a poofer."

"Kind of ups your chances a bit, doesn't it, Dante?" Geneveve sneered. He responded by giving her an unpleasant hand signal. She sighed dramatically, hand mockingly over her heart. "Dear me, how gentleman-like of you to make such a gesture to a lady."

"Lady?" Rosier sat up straight and made a scene of looking around. "All I see across from me is a rather revolting looking troll dressed up in robes stolen from Selwyn's closet!"

"Please spare me of your lovefest, you two," Valeri yawned apathetically as Geneveve gave Dante her own special hand signal. She regarded the rather silent fourth year. "I'd say that this was a rather enlightening breakfast, wouldn't you agree, Greengrass?"

Greengrass nodded. "Quite enlightening." They returned to their breakfast just as Scorpius slipped in from the entrance, slapping Greengrass' shoulder in greeting before trailing towards the end of the table where Albus was obliviously eating his fried eggs.

Valeri pursed her lips at the silent greeting. "Quite the talkative one your cousin is, is he not?"

Kyler Greengrass returned to his cereal. "Aren't all Slytherins in the morning?"