Title: Pop Culture and Social Protocol
Rating: PG
Word Count: 583
Disclaimer: Neither TBBT nor SPN belong to me.
Summary: Castiel tries to give Sheldon relationship advice. Implied established Sheldon/Penny, Dean/Cas, and friendships all around.
AN: help_haiti fic for elsewhere_kels (on LJ)


...Pop Culture and Social Protocol...


"He calls it 'pop culture,'" Cas says, looking over Sheldon's shoulder from behind the couch. Sheldon flinches.

"Castiel," he bites off, "That is strike one. I have told you repeatedly, you must arrive outside the apartment and knock. I refuse to have my privacy disrupted."

Castiel narrows his eyes at Sheldon's back. "I am an Angel of the Lord. I will not take any more of your online quizzes."

Sheldon turns slowly in his seat, fixing Cas with a glare. After a long monet, Sheldon twitches. Castiel's jaw tightens.

"I will refrain from entering your apartment unannounced if you remove this strike," he says, and Sheldon nods sharply.

"That is acceptable. Now, what were you saying about pop culture?"

"You were looking at something entitled Gilmore Girls," Cas says. "Dean has mentioned them before."

Sheldon sighs. "Penny, I believe, has insulted me in some way, but the reference was to this show, and I cannot find the—" he stops. Inhales. Exhales. "She's upset that I didn't buy her flowers to commemorate our anniversary."

"I have never understood how killing flowers and gifting them to a loved one is considered to be a romantic act," Castiel says, walking around the couch and sitting down next to Sheldon.

"I've found that that is not an acceptable excuse," Sheldon replies with a bit of a wince. "I'm considering what gift would convey the appropriate amount of apology."

"Dean tends to prefer copulation. Or cuddling. Although he's told me numerous times that I am not supposed to mention the cuddling," Castiel frowns. "He was also offended when I gave him flowers."

"I find it's often difficult to keep track of all the rules that encompass the parameters of a relationship," Sheldon says. "Even though I believe Penny is more forgiving than others might be in similar circumstances—"

"Kiss her," Castiel cuts in. Sheldon blinks.


"Kiss her," he repeats. "Don't ask me why, but it does work."

Sheldon considers him for a long moment. "Our relationships aren't similar enough to justify the idea that what worked for—"

"Trust me," Castiel says. Sheldon considers the fact that he has no other plan in mind, and then nods slowly.

Castiel watches as Sheldon stands and then exits the apartment and knocks on Penny's door.

Knock Knock Knock


Knock Knock Knock


Knock Knock Knock


"What, Sheldon?" Penny snaps, jerking the door open. Castiel moves angel-fast closer.

"I—ah," Sheldon says, and then grabs Penny close and kisses her.

"Shel—" is all she manages to get out before his lips are on hers.

And then she doesn't worry too much about talking at all.

After several long minutes, by which time Penny's hands are curled into Sheldon's shirt and around his neck and Sheldon's are resting on the small of her back, playing with the waistband of her cut-offs, they slowly pull apart.

"Cas!" Penny shrieks, seeing the angel only two feet away, watching them intently.

"Castiel," Sheldon growls.

"Dude, Cas!" Dean yells from downstairs, "Where are you?"

And Castiel is gone.


"I am here, Dean," he says.

"Dude, what the hell, I was looking all over for—"

Castiel grabs Dean and kisses him.

(Dean stops complaining.)