Warning: Spoilers up to manga Chapter 515.

D: is for dorky, that's good enough for me. Oh, dorky dorky dorky starts with :D


War! What is it good for?

(Absolutely nothing. Say it again, y'all)

- Edwin Starr, War

~A few years later ~


The unholy war between Madara Uchiha's resurrected army against the united forces of the hidden ninja villages splashed blood and destruction across the countryside, exacting its toll of pain and death, ripping apart lives and wiping out dreams of a better future. Those who survived fought on, for peace and for freedom from the yoke of slavery the oldest Uchiha sought to impose upon the world.

In a distant cave, which served as the headquarters from where Madara and Kabuto controlled their troops, the mastermind of the Moon Eye Plan eyed the crumpled figure of the woman before him, bound in snake coils by his for-now ally, Kabuto. "What is this?"

"A Konoha shinobi. She's nothing special by herself, but I have seen her work extensively with Hatake Kakashi, and I believe she may have some valuable information about him and Konoha, particularly the Hyuuga clan, that we may use," Kabuto tugged Tenten forward ungently, pulling her chin upwards, "Face Madara like a good girl now."

"This had better be worth my while," Madara growled, deeming the Human Path technique too chakra-consuming to waste on the girl. The Sharingan would suffice.

Drawing on all of her sensei's teachings on countering the legendary doujutsu, Tenten focused her mind on a single, unshakeable memory, and concentrated.

"AGH!" like the Kakashi-Neji stripshow, Tenten would never be able to convince anyone of this fact later on, due to lack of credible witnesses, but Uchiha Madara screamed like a little girl. "My eye! Horrible…gyrating… naked… male…." His wild grab to teleport Tenten went amiss as she ducked out of the way, engulfing Kabuto instead and sucking the medic-nin into another dimension. "Activate Rinne-"

The weapons master neatly poked out his other eye with a senbon. Madara stiffened, then toppled over. A number of Tenten's senbon were now tipped with Sawa's paralyzing venom.

Throughout the battlefield, corpses crumbled to dust, and Zetsus milled about in aimless distraction, the two persons controlling them having lost all power. The allied shinobi forces had won.

Bending solicitously over the twitching figure of the most evil of the Uchiha, Tenten carefully pricked each of his fingers with poison-tipped senbon, ensuring he could form no seals and move no further.

"There, there," she said. "It couldn't have turned out any other way, you know."

She patted his head benignly.

"It's just not right for plants and zombies to work together."