Authors Notes: Phew! I actually got around to editing and revising part 9 (keep in mind these stories are four years old, and are only now being put on FF.net), so here you guys go! I hope you enjoy. =)
 
Special Thanks To: My Thesaurus
 
Disclaimer: I…DO…NOT…OWN…SAILOR…MOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Rated: G or Y
 
By: Merc
 
Shameless Plug – Be sure to visit my site at www.geocities.com/merc1650!
 
 
Sailor Dorks Part 9
 
 
 
 
Narrator: Hello everyone and welcome to yet another (stupid) episode of Sailor Dorks! I can't believe that this series has lasted as long as it has.
 
Author: That's because I rock!
 
Narrator: Whatever you say. Anywho, the scouts are home from school on
Saturday (where they only have a half-day of school) and everyone is having fun! Let's see, Serena is somewhere doing something, Amy and Greg are on a double date with Lita and Ken (ooooooooo!), and Mina is playing with her favorite slinky on the stairs of Raye's temple. Raye is very annoyed with Mina's slinkying, Setsuna is trying to get a tan at the beach, and Michiru and Haruka are at a (car) race. Hotaru gave up on nuking cows and now is gluing her busted lamp that she dropped back together, Reeny is trading stuff for stuff (at the school playground), and Luna and Artemis are sleeping (no, I don't mean the other way! Icky!). Also, Darien is in the ER pondering stuff while being examined for anymore broken bones. Now that we (finally) have everyone taken care of, on with the show!
 
 
Serena: I am somewhere doing something.
 
Bug: …
 
Serena: What am I doing?
 
Bug: …
 
Serena: Okay, where am I?
 
Bug: …
 
Serena: Dum de do de dum…
 
Bug: …
 
Serena: Hmm…
 
Bug: …
 
Serena: Not very talkative are we?
 
Bug: *Walks away*
 
Serena: Don't walk away from me! That's an order!
 
Bug: *Keeps walking*
 
Serena: *SQUISH!!!*
 
Bug: …
 
Serena: (Mumbling) stupid bug.
 
 
Meanwhile…
 
 
Amy: …
 
Greg: …
 
Lita: Are you two going to read all day or what?
 
Ken: I'm going swimming!
 
*SPLASH!!!*
 
Lita: Last call for swimming!
 
Amy: …
 
Greg: …
 
Ken: Hey, c'mon in Lita the water's great!
 
Lita: Coming!
 
Amy: Finally, I thought they'd never leave.
 
Greg: Ditto.
 
Setsuna: What are you two whispering about?
 
Amy: Where did you come from?
 
Setsuna: See that towel? I was sunbathing on it and you guys set up camp
next to me.
 
Greg: Oh.
 
Setsuna: Where are Lita and Ken?
 
Amy: Out in the wat- OH MY GOD!!!
 
Greg: Wow, and I thought we could kiss!
 
Setsuna: At least you two don't kiss in front of the whole Tokyo populace!
 
Greg: …
 
Amy: I'll just get back to reading now.
 
Greg: Ditto.
 
Setsuna: I think my stomach needs more sun.
 
 
Meanwhile In The Water…
 
 
Lita: Jeez, what are they looking at?
 
Ken: I have no idea.
 
Lita: *SPLASH!!!*
 
Ken: Hey! *SPLASH!!!*
 
 
Meanwhile…
 
 
Mina: (Chanting slowly like a kid) slinky! Slinky! Slinky! Slinky!
 
Raye: SHUT UP!!!
 
Mina: Don't you like my Slinky?
 
Raye: NO!!!
 
Mina: But it's big and shiny and it's metal and its flexible!
 
Raye: So?
 
Mina: You have so many stairs Raye, I just couldn't resist!
 
Raye: Take that annoying little twisted pipe and go play with it somewhere else!
 
Mina: Grouchy!
 
Raye: Hey, my temple, my rules!
 
Mina: Well, not the brightest crayon in the box now are we?
 
Raye: GO!!!
 
Mina: Ipe! I'm going I'm going!
 
*Mina runs away as fast as she can to try and avoid being bashed by Mars, god (in this case goddess) of war a.k.a. Raye*
 
Raye: Hmph. What a sad excuse for a slinky. That puny little thing couldn't stand up to my Slinky 2000 in a million years.
 
*Raye takes out her Slinky 2000 and starts to play with it on the stairs*.
 
 
Meanwhile…
 
 
Haruka: GO DAVIS!!! YA, THAT'S A WAY!!!
 
Michiru: Um… GO!
 
Haruka: WHAT WAS THAT?!?!?!?!? YOU'RE NEARLY OUT OF GAS, WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING BLOWING OFF THAT PIT STOP LIKE THAT?!?!?!?!?!?!? I COULD BEAT YOU EASILY!!!
 
Michiru: …WHAT SHE SAID!!!
 
Haruka: HEY, JOHNSON, THIS AIN'T THE SOAPBOX DERBY HERE!!! PUT SOME KICK INTO IT!!! YEAH, THAT'S IT!!!
 
Michiru: YAY!!!
 
Haruka: Michiru honey, pookie, sweetie-pie, rosy-lips, cookie, sweetums, dear, pork chop, do you get this at all?
Michiru: To tell you the truth not really.
 
Haruka: Well then, let's go somewhere else.
 
Michiru: Are you sure? I mean, I wouldn't want to mess up your fun. I know how much you love to race and watch the competition.
 
Haruka: Nah, what I like most is to see you happy.
 
Michiru: Golly gee, you're a real winner to me.
 
Haruka: Yeah, I know.
 
 
Meanwhile…
 
 
Reeny: I'll trade you one American dime for one Fruit Rollup.
 
Kid: Deal!
 
*They trade.*
 
Reeny: All right, who wants to trade with me next?
 
Girl: ME!!!
 
Reeny: Okay, what'cha got?
 
Girl: I have a really big chocolate cupcake.
 
Reeny: Hmm…
 
Girl: This thing is real valuable and yummy, so ya better have the goods.
 
Reeny: Yeah, yeah, hmm…
 
Girl: …
 
Reeny: How about this? *Holds up the Silver Crystal*
 
Girl: Ooooooooo, pretty! It's a deal!
 
*They trade. Just then Serena walks by after giving up on finding out where she is and what she's doing. Serena knew that Reeny came down to the playground once every Saturday to trade for stuff.*
 
Serena: Hey Reeny!
 
Reeny: Hi!
 
Serena: What's that?
 
Reeny: One big, yummy, chocolate cupcake!
 
Serena: Oh, what did you trade?
 
Reeny: The Imperium Silver Crystal.
 
Serena: WHAT?!?!?!?!?
 
Reeny: What?
 
Serena: (Really fast) who'd you trade it to?
 
Reeny: *Points to the girl*
 
*Serena dashes over to the girl and grabs the Silver Crystal, gives the girl a spare dollar/yen, and runs before the girl can protest.*
 
Serena: Phew. Come with me young lady!
 
Reeny: What?
 
*Serena grabs Reeny and bolts out of the playground.*
 
Serena: You and I are going to have a long talk as soon as we get home!
 
Reeny: What did I do?
 
 
Meanwhile…
 
 
Hotaru: (Grumbling) stupid son of a monkey stupid break stupid lamp stupid world stupid vacuum stupid…
 
Prof. Tomoe: How is it going precious?
 
Hotaru: (Grumbling) stupid pieces have to be stupid pasted back stupid
 
together… (Speaking up) it's going fine, dad!
 
Prof. Tomoe: That's good!
 
Hotaru: (Sarcastically) yeah, only 3,798 pieces to go!
 
Prof. Tomoe: Not my fault. You were the one who knocked it over with the vacuum.
 
Hotaru: (Mumbling) stupid dad can't stupid help me stupid glue this stupid lamp back together. Life is stupid, dad is stupid, this stupid lamp is stupid, everyone I've ever known is stupid…
 
Meanwhile…
 
Luna: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…
 
Artemis: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…
 
Luna: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…
 
Artemis: (Snoring) CZKSGC SSSHHEEEEWWWWWWWW…!!!
 
Luna: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…aposufanv?
 
Artemis: CZKSGC SSSSSSSSSHHHHHEEEEEEEEEWWWWW…!!!
 
Luna: (Looking over at the very loud Artemis) SHUT UP!!!
 
*BAM!!!*
 
Artemis: CZKS- WHAT THE-?!?!?!?!?!?!?! OW!!!
 
Luna: QUIT SNORING!!!
 
Artemis: (Grumbling sleepily) fine, fine, fine, fine…
 
Luna: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…
 
Artemis: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…
 
 
Meanwhile…
 
 
Darien: Who am I? Where am I? Oh yeah, I'm in the ER. How many broken bones do I have? Why isn't Serena here to cheer me up? How come Luna and Artemis can talk? Why is the Sun yellow? Why do they call jelly pens, jelly pens? Do they have jelly in there or something? What is SPAM? How do they cut steak slices out of cows? How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickle peppers, how many pickled peppers did Peter Piper pick? Who am I…?
 
 
 
Chapter 2
 
 
Narrator: The 4 Generals are planning an attack.
 
All 4 Generals: We are planning an attack!
 
 
 
Chapter 3
 
Narrator: The scouts are meeting at Raye's temple.
 
Everyone: We are meeting at Raye's temple!
 
Narrator: Whatever. Anywho, they are all there for a Scout meeting (duh!). So, Mina is reluctantly playing with her slinky AWAY from Raye, Lita is playing poker with Haruka, Michiru, and Raye, and Amy is reading. Luna and Artemis are sitting around doing nothing, and Hotaru, Reeny, and Serena are playing hanky-panky.
 
Mina: (Whispering) slinky, slinky, slinky…
 
Lita: I raise you!
 
Michiru: Whoa! Too rich for my blood, I fold.
 
Raye: @#$%
 
Haruka: Okay then, let's see.
 
Raye: @#$%^&!!! I'm out.
 
Lita: Ha! Two pairs! Beat that!
 
Haruka: Gladly! *Lays down her cards.*
 
Lita: ROYAL FLUSH?!?!?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
 
Amy: …
 
Hotaru, Reeny, and Serena: Down by the banks of the Hankey-Pankey where the bullfrogs jump from bank to bankie singing e-apopa, I-apopa, o-apopa POW!!!
 
Serena: NOOOOOOOOO!!! I'm out.
 
Luna: So, wanna start this meeting anytime soon?
 
Artemis: …
 
Haruka: No.
 
Luna: Why?
 
Haruka: Because I'm too busy basking in the afterglow of my win!
 
Lita: (Grumbling) I oughta strangle you…
 
Artemis: *YAWN!!!* Come on everyone, let's get this thing going.
 
Amy: I heard the Starlights are back.
 
Mina: THE STARLIGHTS?!?!?! WHERE?!?!?!
 
Artemis: Down Mina…
 
Serena: So where are they?
 
*Suddenly Setsuna appears out of nowhere.*
 
Setsuna: They're at their old apartment lounging. I think they miss Earth.
 
Reeny: Where did you come from?
 
Raye: ?
 
Setsuna: Thought I'd stop by.
 
Everyone: ?
 
Setsuna: Um… got bored and decided to see what was going down?
 
Everyone: Oh! I get ya now!
 
Serena: I saw the Negaverse at the Freezy Pleazy.
 
Luna: WHAT?!?!?!
 
Artemis: NEGAVERSE?!?!?! WHERE?!?!?!
 
Luna: Nowhere. Come on scouts, we have a job to do!
 
*Everyone glares at Serena.*
 
Serena: *Hits her head* me and my big, fat mouth.
 
Raye: In about thirty seconds it'll be a little skinny mouth with no teeth!
 
Serena: Uh-oh! LUNA, RAYE IS THREATENING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Luna: Stop it Raye!
 
Raye: (Grumbling) fine, fine, fine, fine…
 
*Luna started getting real angry and threatened to eat Artemis alive if they didn't get their hinies in gear. The scouts transform and run to the Freezy Pleazy Ice Cream Shop. Artemis meanwhile is scared so bad by Luna that he runs back home.*
 
Emerald: They had better get here soon, I worked real hard on this dastardly scheme!
 
Bob: Amazing, she actually has a vocabulary of over 10 words!
 
Emerald: (Warning) what was that Bob?
 
Bob: (Cowering) nothing oh high and mighty one!
 
Ann: What a wimp.
 
Alan: And here I thought I was bad.
 
Moon: THE SAILOR SCOUTS ARE HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Ann: MY EARS!!!
 
Alan: @#$%^&*!!!
 
Emerald: It's about time!
 
Bob: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!
 
Mars: It's all Sailor Moon's fault!
 
Moon: Is not!
 
Mars: Is to!
 
Moon: Is not!
 
Mars: Is to!
 
Moon: Is not, is not, is not!
 
Mars: Is to, is to, is to!
 
Mercury: Break it up you two!
 
Mars: *Grumble**Grumble**Grumble*
 
Emerald: Well, I'm glad you came because you just fell into our trap! Aaaaa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
 
Bob: I THOGHT YOU SAID THAT YOU HAD TAKEN VOICE LESSONS!!!
 
Emerald: Screw the lessons, I'm much more annoying this way!
 
Uranus: This is one weird fight.
 
Neptune: Couldn't agree more.
 
Chibi-Moon: So when are we gonna start seeing some action?
 
Ann: Now! YAAG!!!
 
*Ann throws a huge twig at the scouts which turns into a ball of very bad energy. *
 
Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
 
*Everyone is on their butts moaning and complaining while the 4 generals laugh their heads off.*
 
Moon: Oooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
 
Chibi-Moon: WWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
 
Neptune: THE PAIN!!!
 
Uranus: @#$%^&*!!!
 
Mars: THE AGONY!!!
 
Jupiter: @#$%^&*!!!
 
Mercury: Ouch.
 
Pluto: Owie.
 
Venus: WWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THAT HURT!!!
 
Saturn: OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH!!!
 
Tuxedo Mask: OH THE HUMANITY!!! THE PAIN THAT IS THE PAIN IS QUITE PAINFUL!!!
 
Moon: Where did you come from?
 
Tuxedo Mask: I am from the Earth, the solemn, beautiful planet called Earth. I am from the world, I am from my mother, I am me. Who am I?
 
Moon: Yeah, that really answers my question.
 
Alan: This is stupid, let's just kill them all right now. YAAG!!!
 
*Alan throws something really bright and flashy at the scouts.*
 
Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
 
Sailor Star Fighter: STAR SENSITIVE INFERNO!!!
 
Alan: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
 
Mercury: AAAAAAAAAAA-- What the…?
 
Jupiter: It's the 3 Starlights!
 
Venus: (Quickly) STARLIGHTS, WHERE?!?!?!
 
Uranus: What the--?
 
Pluto: You came back!
 
Saturn: Whoop-de-do…
 
Fighter: SAILOR MOON I LOVE YOU!!!!!!
 
Moon: Oh-no…
 
Fighter: I know I never got up the nerve to say that, but I do! I love you more than the sky, more than the sun, more than the deep blue sea…
 
Neptune: Oh great, another Darien impersonator…
 
Ann: DIE A SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH!!!
 
Sailor Star Maker: Enough chitchat, time to put these bad villains away for good! STAR GENTLE---
 
Moon: AAAAAAAA!!! DON'T FINISH THAT PHRASE!!!
 
Maker: Why not?
 
Jupiter: Spare me the horror!
 
Pluto: There are small children present!
 
Maker: Like I have any control over what my power is called?
 
Chibi-Moon: What's the last word?
 
Mercury: Don't even say it!
 
Maker:  It's Ut—
 
Everyone including the Generals: NO!!!
 
Maker: !
 
Jupiter: Well, I'm not one to stand around so… JUPITER COCONUT CYCLONE!!!!
 
Bob: AAAAAAAAAAAA!!! I'M BEING PELTED WITH COCONUTS!!!!!!
 
Venus: And they say my powers are sad.
 
Chibi-Moon: Where did that one come from?
 
Jupiter: I dunno, it just hit me! Hey, I made a pun! Hahahahahahaha!
 
Neptune: And a really bad pun at that.
 
Uranus: Dude that stunk!
 
Fighter: ?
 
Maker: ?
 
Healer: Did we miss something here?
 
Bob: This is getting real weird. I don't like you peoples anymore! YAAG!!!
 
*Bob throws a huge ball of energy at the side of a construction-site pile of huge concrete slabs and knocks some down.*
 
All 3 Starlights: Uh-oh, NOT GOOD!!!!!!
 
*A humongous concrete slab falls down from way up high and squishes them like little bugs.*
 
*SQUISH!!!*
 
Everyone: YUCK!!!
 
Tuxedo Mask: Oh how vile, repugnant, adious, abhorrent, mawkish, brackish…
 
Moon: OH GROSS!!!
 
*Suddenly, the slab is blown away and there stand (sort of) the very badly injured Starlights.*
 
All 3 Starlights: OKAY, THAT HURT!!! OW OW OW OW OW!!!
 
Bob: Hahahahahaha! That was really funny! Hey wait a second, how did you survive that?
 
Fighter: (Really peeved) okay, that's it! I'm going home!
 
Maker: (Even more peeved) Right behind ya there!
 
Healer: (Monstrously peeved) Wait for me!
 
*The 3 Starlights take off.*
 
Ann: Jeez what tripped their trigger?
 
Alan: What ate their noodle?
 
Emerald: What hit their poodle?
 
Bob: What stole their meatballs?
 
Moon: WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP WITH THE PUNS AND THE SAYINGS AND THE ANNOYING PHRASES AND THE ANNOYING LAUGHS!!!!!!
 
All 4 Generals: No…
 
Tuxedo Mask: Sailor Moon, if you give a moose a muffin, he'll want a glass of milk.
 
Moon: (Crying) why me?
 
Tuxedo Mask: Sailor Moon, the man that doesn't die on the battlefield slips in the bathtub.
 
Moon: WAAAAAAAAAAAAA MAKE HIM STOP!!!!!!
 
Chibi-Moon: I'm bored, when can we start killing people?
 
Mercury: How about now? SHINE AQUA ILLUSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Mars: MARS FIRE IGNITE!!!!!!!!!!
 
Pluto: DEAD SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Uranus: WORLD SHAKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Neptune: DEEP SUBMERGE!!!!!!!!!!
 
Chibi-Moon: PINK SUGAR HEART ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Saturn: YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A BUNCH OF WEENIES!!!!!!
 
Venus: VENUS LOVE CHAIN ENCIRCLE!!!!!!!
 
Tuxedo Mask: TUXEDO A LA SMOKING BOMBER!!!!
 
Jupiter: JUPITER THUNDER CRASH!!!!!!
 
All 4 Generals:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Ann: (Really hurt bad) okay…that…hurt…YAAG!!!
 
*Ann throws a beam of something at Sailor Neptune, hitting her in the leg and knocking her down.*
 
Neptune: MY LEG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
 
Ann: Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
 
Uranus: NEPTUNE, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
 
Moon: Okay, that's it! You hurt someone on my team and you're gonna pay dearly!
 
Tuxedo Mask: Sailor Mercury, Sailor Neptune, only you can prevent forest fires!
 
Neptune: I am not even going to comment on that…
 
Mercury: MERCURY AQUA RHAPSODY!!!!!
 
*BAM!!! All 4 generals are knocked unconscious*
 
Moon: MOON SCEPTER ACTIVATION!!!!!!
 
*SLAM!!! The 4 Generals turn into Moon Dust.*
 
Moon: DUSTED!!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!!
 
Everyone: YAY!!!!!!!!
 
Tuxedo Mask: Good work Sailor Moon! Always remember, the cucumber that's swollen was dropped on the floor!
 
Everyone: ?
 
Tuxedo Mask: And Scouts, don't forget, the leaf that falls into the pond floats like a dinghy!
 
Everyone: ?
 
Tuxedo Mask: The frog that drowns needs swimming lessons.
 
Everyone: ?
 
Tuxedo Mask: Sailor Moon, the basket that is full of fruit is full of joy!
 
Moon: SOMEONE SHUT HIM UP!!!
 
Neptune: OH THE PAIN AND CONFUSION!!!!!!!
 
Tuxedo Mask: Sailor Neptune, a scrape is like a fly. It may get stuck on flypaper, but it won't get stuck on Band-Aids!
 
Uranus: Umm…it's okay sweetie, I'm here for you.
 
*Holds Neptune and cradles her and kisses her.*
 
Jupiter: Get a room.
 
Venus: OH SICK!!!!!!
 
Saturn: My fragile little mind has been exposed to horrific and graphic things!
 
Uranus: Oh, go complain to the censors!
 
Saturn: Fine! MERC!!!
 
Author: What?
 
Saturn: Some censorship here!
 
Author: YUCK!!! Um…sure thing!
 
Narrator: The battle ended and after rushing Michiru to the hospital, they all went home except for Haruka and Hotaru. Later on she was released with a cast over her broken toe and a brace for her sprained ankle.
 
 
 
Chapter 4
 
Narrator: Okay, it's the next day and everyone is happy (mostly). Serena is nagging Luna about how she finally defeated the Other 4 Generals, Amy is celebrating not getting killed by going to the Feezy Pleazy with Greg, and Raye is beating Chad over the head with her Slinky 2000. Lita is singing while cooking (again) a meal for her and Ken's picnic, Mina is sewing, and Reeny is helping Serena's mom do the laundry. Haruka is tending to Michiru's ailments, Hotaru is hunting, Setsuna is re-painting the Time Gate (the door), and Artemis is still napping. And finally, Darien is thinking at his favorite thinking spot, his apartment balcony. Now that we everyone done, ON WITH THE SHOW/STORY/WHATEVER THE HECK IT IS!!!!!
 
Serena: (Singing and bragging at the same time) I beat the generals! I beat the generals! I beat the generals! And I did it without your help!
 
Luna: (Beyond annoyed) …
 
Serena: (Teasing) Admit it, I did GREAT!!!
 
Luna: (Getting real peeved) …
 
Serena: Who da gal huh? WHO DA GAL?!? Serena is da gal! Say what? SERENA IS DA GAL!!!
 
Luna: (Um…) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5…
 
Serena: GO ME!!! GO ME!!! I ROCK!!! GO ME!!!
 
Luna: (Real annoyed and peeved and all the other bad stuff) why me?
 
Serena: WOOHOO!!!! YEAH…!!!
 
 
Meanwhile…
 
 
Amy: (Holding up her ice cream) here's to not getting killed!
 
Greg: Here here!
 
*Clank!*
 
Amy: Mmmmmm…I just love chocolate!
 
Greg: Me too…
 
Meanwhile…
 
*Chasing Chad around the temple.*
 
Raye: HOW COULD YOU?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? WHAT THE @#$% WERE YOU THINKING?!?!?!?!?!?! DO YOUR OWN CHORES!!!!!!!!!! BA HUMBUG!!!!!
 
Chad: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
*WHAM!!!*
 
Raye: YOU THINK YOU'RE SO TOUGH?!?!?!?!?! WELL BEAT THIS!!!!!!!
 
*BAM!!!*
 
Chad: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! KILLER SLINKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
 
Raye: DIE A SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Chad: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
*SLAM!!!*
 
Raye: EAT TWISTED METAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Chad: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
*BASH!!!*
 
Raye: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
 
Chad: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
 
*CRASH!!!*
 
Meanwhile…
 
*Dancing around in the shower.*
 
Lita: SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME THE WORLD WAS GONNA RULE ME, I AINT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED…SHE WAS LOOKING KINDA DUMB WITH HER FINGER AND HER THUMB IN THE SHAPE OF AN "L" ON HER FOREHEAD…!!!
 
*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!*
 
Lita: SHOOT, SQUID'S DONE EARLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
*Starts racing around trying to get a towel, and slips on the soap a couple times.*
 
Lita: OH THE PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!*
 
Lita: I'M COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!*
 
Lita: Doh!
 
*Lita gets to the oven and manages to save the squid before it starts to turn from medium rare to well done.*
 
Lita: Phew! Now where was I? Oh yeah! WELL, THE YEARS START COMING AND THEY DON'T STOP COMING, BEND TO THE RULES AND I HIT THE GROUND RUNNING!!! DIDN'T MAKE SENSE NOT TO LIVE FOR FUN, YOUR BRAIN GETS SMART BUT YOUR HEAD GETS DUMB…
 
 
Meanwhile…
 
 
Mina: *Sew**sew**sew*
 
Ball Of Yarn: …
 
Mina: Do de do de do…
 
Ball Of Yarn: …
 
Mina: La ti da…
 
Ball Of Yarn: …
 
Mina: (Humming) hmmmmmmmmmmmm…
 
Ball Of Yarn: …
 
Mina: Boy it's quiet in here.
 
 
Meanwhile…
 
 
Reeny: Whoa, look at all the bubbles!
 
Mrs. Warren: REENY DON'T TOUCH THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Reeny: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Mrs. Warren: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!
 
Reeny: Hey, what happens when I put this in?
 
Mrs. Warren: NO REENY, DON'T PUT THE BLEACH IN THE LAUNDRY!!!!!!!!
 
Reeny: Oooooooooooooooo, look Auntie Trisha! The clothes are changing colors!
 
Mrs. Warren: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
 
Reeny: Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe!
 
Mrs. Warren: MY BLOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Reeny: This is fun!
 
Mrs. Warren: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
 
 
Meanwhile…
 
 
Haruka: Oh honey, does it hurt?
 
Michiru: My poor big toe…my poor little sprained ankle…
 
Haruka: Don't worry darling, I'll make everything all better…
 
Michiru: Oh Haruka, you've always been there for me, I'm sure I'll be just fine…
 
Haruka: Nonsense! You need your rest or something really bad could happen to you!
 
Michiru: Haruka, it's only a broken toe and a sprained ankle.
 
Haruka: Shh! You might hurt yourself if you talk too much!
 
Michiru: Haruka?
 
Haruka: Lay down! I'll get you some nice warm milk, and some cookies, and some other stuff to make you feel better!
 
Michiru: ?
 
Haruka: NEVER FEAR, DOCTOR HARUKA IS HERE!!!
 
Michiru: (In a small voice) help…
 
 
Meanwhile…
 
 
Prof. Tomoe: SO SUGAR WHAT ARE WE GONNA HUNT FOR NEXT?!?!?!?!
 
Hotaru: (Like Elmer Fudd from Loony Tunes) shhh! Be vewy, vewy quiet, I'm hunting cows…
 
Prof. Tomoe: (Whispering) there's one, out in that field with that barn at the end of it…
 
*BANG!!!*
*MOO!!!*
 
Hotaru: Got it!
 
Farmer Joe: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! WHAT THE HECK DID YOU DO TO MY POOR BESSIE?!?!?! NOW YOU'VE DONE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
*Farmer Joe grabs his 20 gauge shot gun and starts to run towards Hotaru and her dad.*
 
Hotaru: RUN!!!
 
*Hotaru starts running with dad close at behind.*
 
Prof. Tomoe: Right behind ya sweetie!
 
 
Meanwhile…
 
 
*Re-painting one of the crescent moons on the door.*
 
Setsuna: (Mumbling) why is it always my job to paint the stupid door? OH GREAT, NOW I MESS UP ON THIS STUPID CRESCENT MOON!!! Just peachy…
 
Some Guy: Need any help?
 
Setsuna: No, not right now.
 
Some Guy: Okay then…
 
Setsuna: Wait, where did you come from? What's your name?
 
Some Guy: Name's Luke Skywalker and I have no idea where I am and how I got here.
 
Setsuna: Luke Skywalker, as in that movie "Star Wars"?
 
Luke: What's "Star Wars"?
 
Setsuna: ICK, I HATE STAR WARS!!!!!!
 
Luke: ?
 
*Setsuna takes a barrel of paint and bashes Luke over the head with it. He's is knocked unconscious."
 
Setsuna: Hmph! Now, where was I? Oh yeah, this retarded crescent moon…
 
Luke: Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…
 
 
Meanwhile…
 
 
Artemis: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!
 
 
Meanwhile…
 
 
Darien: Who am I? Why do I spit out quotes like my Cerebrum was rewired? Where do I even find these proverbs and quotes anyway? Why did the Starlights go squish when they weren't squished? Who came up with the word squish? Why does Sailor Star Fighter have a crush on my girlfriend? Why did the chicken cross the road? Who thought up the word egg? Why is Sailor Mercury's element water and ice when her planet is the second hottest in the Solar System (quick F.Y.I., Venus is the hottest planet in the Solar System)? Who thought up the name sandwich? Was it Sir Isaac Sandwich of France who invented it or something? Who made up the name fork? Why do I have no memory of anything? Why are there so many forks and spoons when you eat at a really fancy restaurant? Who am I…?
 
Narrator: Well, all in all everything turned out great! Serena finally killed those annoying generals, everyone is happy, Michiru survived her 
broken toe and sprained ankle, the Starlights left, and Darien is still as annoying as always! Well, I think that covers this series…
 
Author: Not so fast! Narrator: What, you mean this stupid series is still going strong? Great… anyway, okay then, um…then stay tuned for another exciting addition of Sailor Dorks!
 
 
 
 
 
The End?
 
 
So, good, bad, ugly? Give me a holler! PLEASE REVIEW!!! Or e-mail me, or visit my web site at www.geocities.com/merc1650!