I know that it's been a while since I last updated, but I just wanted to bring you this funny little Omake that has been rattling around in my head. Now, I mentioned that small crack about the Gods of Awesome and how awesome the masters are. Well, what if they needed an awesomeness refresher course every now and then? But, who would teach such a course? Who on God's Green Earth would have those qualifications?
It was an average day in Konoha...Well, average for most people. Nothing even remotely associated with the Ryouzanpaku can be considered average or normal. I should have said that training was going like it normally was, eye-popping, jaw-dropping and terror inspiring feats being churned out by the boat load. Young Naruto was off training with/getting his ass kicked by one said terror inspiring master, Sakaki, with his cousin watching from the sidelines and playing a game of Go with Apachai. Naruto was watching his teacher closely, trying to watch for any hint of movement when the burly brawler simply punched the air, the air pressure picking him up and tossing him like a rag doll.
"BWAHAHAHA! You're still wet behind the ears, gaki!" Sakaki laughed loudly amid the small voice of Sakura asking her Oni-chan if he was going to be alright.
"You okay, nii-chan?" She asked.
"Yeah...I just wish I had their strength..." Naruto groused as the Elder strolled up to him.
"Don't get yourself down, Naruto-chan. You are still young and have yet to acquire your Awesomeness Credentials." The old master comforted, pulling a small card out of his robes.
"A card? All you get when you're awesome is a freaking card?" The boy asked incredulously.
"Well...Yes and no, Naruto-kun. This card identifies you as a member of a very special group of people." Akisame clarified.
"So you guys all have one, Akisame-sensei?" Sakura asked.
"Oh, yes...We all have one, child. Even old Sarutobi has one." Kensei replied with a chuckle, all of the master whipping their cards out, Sakura reading Apachai's.
"A.L.O.A?" She muttered, confused.
"The AWESOME LEAGUE OF AWESOMENESS!" Sakaki replied, epicly roaring the name itself, Naruto having to grab his little cousin to keep her from flying off.(Think of those TV ads for Monster Truck rallys, that big, booming and echoing voice.)
"The...Awesome League of Awesomeness?" He asked, trying to regain his hearing.
"Yes. It is called the AWESOME LEAGUE OF AWESOMENESS!" The normally calm and stoic Akisame answered, further shocking the boy and his younger cousin.
"Do you really have to do that?" Naruto sighed as he tried to calm Sakura down.
"I'm sorry Naruto-chan, but it's sheer awesomeness demands no less." Kensei answered him as the Elder remembered something.
"I nearly forgot...We need to renew our memberships. I must call him to come in the morning." He said aloud as training for the day concluded.
After Naruto had dropped off Sakura and gotten himself into bed, he was led to think about just who would be so awesome that they could judge the awesomeness of others.
'Huh...Guess I'll find out tomorrow...' He thought as he drifted off to sleep.
THE NEXT DAY...
Naruto was hip deep in training again, Sakura having come over after school let out to play Go, as was her routine. Things kept on going normally until they all felt...something. It was as if a veil of sheer awesomeness had descended upon the village. Lesser men felt their genitalia shrink while women were being driven into an erotic frenzy as a man with reddish hair and a matching beard calmly pushed the massive gate to the Ryouzanpaku grounds open, the masters all greeting him respectfully. The man then greeted Hayato.
"Hello there, Hayato. It's been a while." He stated with a small grin.
"Indeed it has, Mr. Norris. I take it you will be conducting the re-qualifications this time around?" The Elder asked.
"Yes. It's a shame that the by-laws prevent you from re-qualifying your people, but I am glad to have the chance talk with you once again." He replied as he had all of the masters lined up for their re-quals.
"Now...We will being your re-qualifying exams. I will need you to do something that will make a normal person wet themselves on sight." The man known only as Mr. Norris ordered as they proceeded into the village.
Upon reaching the village proper, they set out to accomplish their tasks while the proctor and Elder watched on with old Sarutobi joining them, making sure they didn't cause too much damage and havoc.
"Ahh...I remember having to re-qualify." The old ex-Kage sighed in reminiscence, watching Shigure throw a handful of vegetables into the air and in seemingly one swipe with a wooden spoon, reduced them to small, identical cubes, making a few men emit a foul odor.
"That was impressive..." Mr. Norris noted, checking her off the list as Sakaki made a small sculpture out of iron by repeatedly battering it with blows, making some people watching him faint from the overload.
"Hmm...I'll allow it." The proctor stated, moving onto the next one, Kensei.
He was at the fishing pond when he saw that a young boy was having trouble catching fish. He simply smiled and asked the boy to hold his hat. He let his palm hover over the water as he took a deep breath, then he thrust his palm, not quite making contact with the surface but causing a localised explosion that had fish raining down on the lucky lad, who thanked the kind and undeniably awesome stranger and went on his way.
"A very good use for awesomeness. I believe Kensei is approaching his eligibility for permanent status. One more re-qual like this and he's earned it." noted as they left to find Apachai.
Apachai was at the park, playing with Sakura and some of her little friends, the Konohamaru Corps and Hanabi Hyuuga. They thought that he forgot what he was supposed to be doing until a little girl cried to him that her kitten had clawed its way to the top of a old pole and couldn't get down. He simply walked up to it and pulled it out of the ground, laid it down and the little girl retrieved her kitty, making all adults in the vicinity smile.
"He has his own brand of awesomeness. He passes with flying colors." The proctor noted down. It was widely known that Apachai loved children and that made him awesome in a whole different way.
Akisame was calmly walking downtown when he came across some rather...Abrasive individuals. Two shinobi had drunkenly stumbled out of a bar, much to Sarutobi's irritation, and had bumped into the mustachioed man, blaming him for everything. As soon as he turned his back, they threw a pair of kunai at him but he didn't seem to notice. Just scant millimeters from impact, the pinged off of an invisible wall, making their jaws drop.
"I'm sorry, buy my awesomeness is just so hard to contain." He said simply, walking away calmly as the pair of idiots babbled in fear.
"Wow...It's been a while since I've seen a aura of pure awesomeness. Full points." Mr. Norris stated as they all packed it in and left for the compound again to see Naruto still hard at work.
"Is he a student of yours?" asked.
"Yes he is, but he is also my great nephew..." Hayato replied, telling him about Naruto and all that he's overcome. The man was stunned, but also deeply impressed, taking a small card out of his pocket, walking up to Naruto and explaining who he was, and what had been going on today.
"Young man...While I cannot bestow full membership upon you since you are still very young, I can give you a provisional membership and this card until you come of age, for all that you have overcome and how you've maintained your positive outlook." He told the awe-struck jinchuuriki, handing him his very own card.
"That...Was just plain AWESOME!" Naruto bellowed epicly while holding the card aloft. Later on, he would discover that his brides to be all suddenly felt...Damp down South.
The time had finally come for the man to say his goodbyes and left the village. All of the men felt their balls drop once again and women came down off of their high once this man left, still wondering what the hell was going on.
"Well...Today marks a milestone for young Naruto, and hopefully there will be many more in his life for him to achieve." Hayato commented to his old friend.
"If he keeps this up, Mr. Norris may wind up having having that successor to his title one day in him. I was twice Naruto's age when I earned mine." Hiruzen replied with a proud smile.
"Indeed...The future is looking bright." Hayato answered him as they wound down their day.
A/N: Whew...Here is that special addition I promised. I've been awfully busy as of late with things going crazy in my life, needing my full attention for damage control.
Now...If you will excuse me...(Author screams to the heavens and goes Super Saiyan because of the residual AWESOMENESS...) I must take my leave.