Hello, once again! I promised a one shot and here it is! You ready for complete randomness with a hint of Zelda bashing? Cuz that's what ya got! The Links are back and ready for action in this one shot of Zelda proportions! Enjoy!
"What do you mean I have only three days to beat the game?"
"More like a half hour actually…"
Brunette glared at the game screen angrily. He had thought that since this was Young Link's game it would be easy. He was sorely mistaken… "Fine. I'll just save my game and resume later…"
"If you save your game you have to start over from day one," informed Young Link.
Twilight laughed, "What's the matter? Are these newer games too hard for you?"
Seasons smirked, "Big talk for someone whose game was beaten easily by a novice player…"
Twilight turned to him angrily, "What was that?-!"
"You heard me."
Toony frowned, "Can you please keep it down? I'm trying to listen to the background music so I can get to the Sacred Forest Meadow…"
Knight smiled, "Its so nice to see us all getting along again…"
Ocarina nodded, "Yeah…"
It was summer, the season of warm temperatures and random rainfall. After saving their kingdom from the evil Ganondorf, the Links had disbanded, going their own separate ways. Following a suggestion by Toony however, the Links had planned to reunite at Toony's villa for summer vacation. And now that it was summer the Links were all together again. According to the plan, each Link would bring the game or games that featured them so the others could play those games thus the Links would get to know each other better. It sounded like a good idea until they actually started playing…
"Well how the hell am I supposed to beat it?" asked Brunette.
"I don't see what you're so worked up about…" said Young Link casually. "Once you get over the time thing the game is actually pretty fun."
"Fun-shmun…" He glanced around, bored. "Yo, Toony, what're you-"
"Sh! I'm trying to listen to the background music!"
As Seasons and Twilight continued to argue over whose game was harder, Ocarina had picked up a copy of Master Quest and was examining the user names curiously.
"Hey, you guys ever wonder why you have the option to name us? I mean, we already have a name so why-"
"I guess its to distinguish between files," guessed Toony. "It'd be weird if we both named our character Link and we didn't know which one was which."
"Yeah, but then that gives people the option to name us weird things…"
"Someone named me Ganon once," said Knight with a smile. "That was interesting…"
"At least they didn't name you stupid!" complained Young Link. "That was horrible…"
"Cant be as bad as shizniz…" said Twilight with a sigh.
"What the crap is a shizniz?"
"I have no idea…"
Brunette checked the character names on the game he was playing, "Hey, who's file is this?"
"What's the name?"
"I think its… Squall. Who's Squall?"
"Beats me…" Toony checked the files on Ocarina of Time. "Hey! He's on this game too!"
"And this one!"
"Alright, just who is this Squall guy?" asked Brunette. "He better not be messing with Zelda or else!"
"Hmm…" Ocarina picked up one of the many strategy guides littering the floor. He flipped through it for a minute or two before finally stopping on a page, a look of confusion on his face. "Hey, Knight… Why are you in Seasons' strategy guide?"
Seasons glared at them, "What?"
He held up the guide so he could see, "Right here, see? This is a picture of Knight, isn't it?"
Seasons turned his attention to Knight who had picked up a copy of The Legend of Zelda. "And just why are you in my strategy guide?"
He smiled, "What a fun game! Who would have thought to use the Recorder the destroy the Pol Voices?"
"Stop ignoring me!"
"That's it!" Toony stood up abruptly, a mean look on his face. "Will you shut up?-! I have been trying to get to this dungeon for the past ten minutes! Now be quiet!"
The others stared at him shocked.
"Dude, you cant even make it to the Sacred Forest Meadow?" Young Link laughed, "How pathetic!"
"Hey, leave the brat alone," said Brunette. "Its not his fault he sucks at games…"
"I don't suck at games…"
"Heh, go figure… Brunette's defending Toony again." Twilight laughed, "Perhaps we should refer to them as 'Broony' from now on?"
Young Link joined in by saying, "Or maybe 'Toonette'?"
The two Links in question looked at each other confused, "Broony? Toonette?"
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
Ocarina resisted the urge to laugh, "You know… In fan fiction, when two people combine their names it usually means that they, um… They…"
He scratched his cheek nervously and looked around, trying to find a way out of the conversation. "H-Hey look! Wind Waker!"
"Don't change the subject!"
"Boy, is this a fun game! Just look at Toony's shifty little eyes!"
"Twilight has shifty eyes too," informed Knight.
"That reminds me…" Toony glared up at Twilight. "Do you enjoy stealing everything from me or what?"
Twilight picked up a gameboy color, trying to avoid the subject. "I don't know what your talking about…"
"Don't give me that! First you steal my moves and then you take my sound effects… Not to mention the multiple targeting boomerang!"
"He stole my horse too…" added Ocarina.
"Don't forget my bomb arrows," said Knight with a smile.
Seasons smirked, "You're just a natural born thief, aren't you?"
"I am not! And what the heck is up with this stupid password system?" he asked, glaring at the small screen. "I cant remember all this crap!"
"Hmph, is it too hard for you?"
Brunette glared at them all, "If anything, you're all thieves! I dare you to name one thing, just one thing that you haven't stolen from me. Just one!"
"Your upgraded swords?"
"Your two foot ladder?"
"Your Link doll?"
They looked at him confused. "Link doll?"
He looked away embarrassed, ""L-Lets not talk about that…"
"Aw… Does the big bad Brunette sleep with a little plush doll?"
"I-Its not like that!"
"What else do you do with a plush doll other than-"
"I said its not like that, you little punk! Now shut up or do I have to get you one of those shock collars?"
"Alright, calm down…" Ocarina sighed, "I don't remember arguing as being part of the plan for this vacation."
"I know! Why don't we play through each one of our games?" suggested Knight. "That ought to be entertaining."
"Entertaining? Or tortuous?"
He smiled, "What's the difference?"
The Links all gave him weird looks.
On that slightly creepy note, the Links followed Knight's suggestion and booted up the NES that Brunette had brought. The thing was ancient and looked like it had seen better days.
Brunette smiled fondly at the small system, "Ah, the memories…"
Twilight nudged the Famicon with his boot, "What the heck is this old thing?"
"Hey! For your information, that thing is the source of all your fame!"
"If it were not for this system…none of you would exist today…"
"So what is the point of this game, anyway?" asked Young Link. "Is there a time limit?"
He shook his head, "Nope."
"A separate dimension?" asked Twilight.
"Any plot twists?" questioned Ocarina.
"What about a traveling companion that helps you on your quest?" asked Toony.
"None at all."
"Then what was the point?"
"If I remember correctly, the whole point of The Legend of Zelda was to collect the eight pieces of the Triforce and save the Princess Zelda," said Knight.
"Bingo!" Brunette grinned, "At least one of you can appreciate the simplicity of a good game…"
"Simple is right. Give me that." Twilight took the controller awkwardly. He wasn't used to a single controller like the Nintendo. "So how do I swing my- What the hell? I don't even have a sword!"
"You dope! Give me that!" Young Link took it then. "You have to go into the cave to get the sword. I saw it on you tube once…"
Brunette watched the other Links play his game with an amused grin on his face. Any minute now they would realize his game wasn't as simple as they thought. The Links had just made it to the first dungeon when-
"What the Farore?-!"
Twilight laughed, "Jeez, Young Link, I thought you were better than that! Heh, dying in the first dungeon, what a joke…"
"You're so smart, you try!"
Twilight took the controller only to suffer the same fate as Young Link.
"Uh-huh, uh-huh… Who sucks at games?" asked Young Link amused.
Toony frowned as he played the gameboy advance version. "The woman keeps telling me to meet the old man by the waterfall but… Where's the waterfall? And who's this old man? I don't get it…"
"How am I supposed to know where the next dungeon is if I don't have a world map?" Seasons glared at the screen as he died," This is harder than I thought…"
"Oh really? Once you get past the fifth dungeon its actually quite simple," explained Knight as he played the game cube version. He was already on level three.
Ocarina frowned, "Okay, I think that's enough Legend of Zelda for one day…"
"But I'm not done watching you suffer!" complained Brunette.
"Well why don't we watch you suffer?" asked Twilight. "Here." He handed him a Wii Remote with an evil grin on his face. It was time for some pay back.
Brunette stared at it, unsure of what to do. "Um… What do I do with it? Strangle someone?"
Toony repressed a laugh, "You hold it like this… Swing this one like a sword and the other is for moving and targeting…"
"How do you know that?" asked Seasons. "I thought your game was on the NGC?"
"Yeah, but I was invited to participate in SSBB so I familiarized myself with the Wii and its controls."
Young Link glared at him, "So you're the brat who took my place…"
"And Twilight took mine…" grumbled Ocarina.
Brunette stared at the screen, slowly losing patience. "What the hell is up with all this dialogue and cut scene crap? Screw the tutorial! Just let me get to the game already! And where the crap is your hat, Twilight?"
"Tch, I wouldn't be caught dead without my hat…"
"But we've all seen you without your hat…"
"Just shut up and tell me how to get on this stupid horse."
"You press the A button," he said simply.
"How do I go faster?"
"Press the A button."
"Is there anything the A button doesn't do?"
"It cant swing your sword apparently," frowned Ocarina as he played the GC version. "Man, this sucks… I can only equip two items… Talk about lame…"
Knight smiled as he took the controller, "I could only equip one item other than my sword of course." He sighed, "You younger Links really have it made, you know that?"
"You cant be that much older than us," said Toony. "Can you?"
"I suppose you're right… I am only nineteen…"
"Eh?" They stared at him. "But you always act so…mature…"
"I'm not so sure about being mature, but Brunette here is the oldest Link. How old are you again?"
Brunette turned the Wii off. Midna was getting on his nerves. "I'll be twenty-four next month."
"Wow… Hey, Twilight, what about you?" asked Young Link.
He looked away embarrassed, "Its not important…"
"Ah c'mon! I'm only ten and Toony here has only been around for seven years."
"I hate to admit it but officially I'm only twelve," said Ocarina truthfully.
Seasons frowned, "I'm nine."
"I guess… Since all of you said your ages…" Twilight sighed, "I'm actually only four..."
Brunette cracked up laughing, " Four?-! And you act so tough… ha! But wait… What is that in dog years? Fourty? Sixty?"
"Enough with the dog jokes!" yelled Twilight. "First of all, in dog years it would be around thirty-two! Second, I turn into a wolf. Not a dog! And thirdly, those jokes are really getting old! So stop it already!"
"But they're funny!" argued Toony. "Do you doggy paddle too?"
"That is it! Next game! In the system! Now!"
"I guess we could play Ocarina of Time next…" guessed Seasons. "That's always good for beginners. But then again, thanks to the simple design of your game, Twilight, perhaps you're game would be better for beginners?"
"What is with you and dissing my game?"
Ocarina shook his head and brought out his Nintendo 64. It was a little dusty but still in working condition. He popped in the cartridge and began.
Toony looked at the controller curiously, "What do you use the left side of the controller for?"
He paused, "Um…map, maybe?"
"You don't even know the mechanics of your own game?" Brunette scoffed, "How sad…"
Twilight grumbled in annoyance as he played the ngc version. "Ocarina, your horse is totally lame… I cant even use my sword!"
"And what's up with this constant equip-unequip of the iron boots?" asked Toony. "It's a total drag…"
"No sword underwater."
"Will you guys quit complaining? This is one of the best games ever!" argued Ocarina.
Brunette grinned as he scanned the manual, "I can see why you like it so much…"
"Saria, Malon, Zelda, Ruto, Nabooru… Heck, you've got it made, Ocarina."
He blushed, "Knock it off, Brunette…"
He grinned, "Just say'in…"
Young Link smirked, "Don't worry, Ocarina. Brunette's just jealous because he didn't get any action in his game."
"Why you little twerp!" Brunette glared at him, "For your information, I got plenty of action in my games! Far more than a little pipsqueak like you could ever get!"
Young Link simply grinned, "Is that so? Cuz all I have to do is show my cute adorable Young Link face and all the girls instantly flock to me! It's a cute thing. You wouldn't understand."
"I'm cute!" said Toony.
"More like creepy…" Twilight put the controller down. "Anyway, when it comes to the ladies look no further! I actually have my own fan club!"
"Who cares? At least I have actually been kissed by Zelda," said Seasons with a smug look on his face.
"What about you, Knight?" asked Toony. "Any girlfriends?"
Knight looked down sadly, "No, no girlfriends… Sadly, she…" He shook his head, "No, never mind…
"Oh kay…" Changing the subject, Toony asked, "Who wants to play my game?"
"No, thank you."
"Aw… But why not?"
"I don't feel like being bored to death, thank you very much," said Young Link.
"Face it, Toony. It takes forever to get anywhere in your game," said Ocarina. "I feel like I need a manga just to occupy my time between islands…"
"But what other game is there?" he asked. "A Link to the Past is too long. So are the Oracles…"
"Don't you have another game, Knight?"
Suddenly a loud noise came from outside. It sounded like someone was arguing…
"I say, get your filthy hands off me, you unrefined villain!" yelled the butler/door.
"Open the door," replied a familiar voice coldly. "You have three seconds…"
"You shall not pass."
Toony gasped, "No! Not my-"
The door to Toony's villa burst open, nearly falling off its hinges. Standing in the doorway was Dark Link with a very pissed off expression on his face.
"Aaah! My door!" Toony ran to his door, nearly in tears. "You killed it!"
"Whatever…" Dark walked past the bawling Toony and straight up to Ocarina. "Here."
He took the disk Dark gave him. "Wow! You actually got it!"
"What? What is it?" asked Young Link curiously.
"Of course I got it," he said coldly. "And this is the last time I do anything for you, got it? You wouldn't believe what I had to put up with to get that."
Ocarina laughed," Media?"
"Where did you have him go, Ocarina?" asked Seasons.
"E3. I heard that there was a new Link around so I asked if Dark could go find out for me."
"And he actually agreed?" Twilight looked at him suspiciously, "Just what are you up to?"
"Nothing. I'm leaving."
"Why don't you stay?" asked Ocarina. "Don't you wanna see the new Link too?"
"Why bother? He'll just be another nuisance…"
"We have Doritos."
Dark paused, "Doritos?"
"Knight, no. Those are my Doritos!" protested Brunette.
"Not anymore." Dark took the bag of Doritos and plopped down in a chair. "So lets see this trailer already…"
"You cant just waltz in here and order us around!" yelled Brunette.
Dark ignored him.
"Hey! I'm talking to-"
"Well! Lets see what this new Link is like, shall we?"
Ocarina placed the disc into the dvd player and pressed play. The Links gathered around the tv, eager to learn more about their new companion, but what they found wasn't what they were expecting.
They stared at the screen wide eyed, "Oh my gosh! Its like Twilight and Toony had a baby!"
Twilight and Toony glanced at one another before quickly walking away from each other.
"What would that be?" wondered Young Link. "Twoony? Twiny?"
"What the crap does that mean?-!" yelled Brunette.
"So that was Sky, huh? Cant wait to actually meet him!" said Ocarina excitedly.
Knight nodded, "Too bad we have to wait until next year…"
"Yeah, but with these guys around, that year is going to go by pretty fast…"
"You broke my door, you jerk!"
"So buy a new one…"
"I just hope Sky's game is harder than Twilight's…"
"Stop dissing my game! It wasn't that easy!"
"Brulight? Twinette? Dark Twinette!"
"Stop making up names and tell me what they mean!"
Knight smiled at the chaos, "Yep, this year will be gone before we know it…"
Lol. Hope you enjoyed it! Mostly random with a hint of what's to come! ^.^ Unfortunately we have to wait a whole year to get news on Sky… But like the Links said, years go by fast when you're not looking! Especially if you're Ocarina, lol.
Special thanks to Yoko Kiara! ^.^ She practically came up with half this crap, lolz.
Guess this is it. Its been a fun ride but now the Links need an actual vacation. They will be missed…