A/N: Forewarning - This is pure madness. I dunno. I was bored.
This is a Death Note parody of the comedy song "Rehab Center for Fictional Characters" by Bo Burnham. Look it up on YouTube - It's pretty damn funny. The italics is the actual singing, and everything else is spoken normally. Have a nice read!
Uh well hello everyone, welcome to the rehab center for Death Note characters. Umm, alright let's just get right to it who wants to start us off, how 'bout you Lawli?
Hmm, okay. I am L Lawliet, and I'm a sugar addict.
I am the world renowned detective L,
My life is quite literally a living Hell.
Years ago I was normal, then the day came,
When some man shoved me into unwanted fame.
Now I eat sweets, cake and ice cream cones,
Hoping that man will leave me the hell alone!
Okay Lawli, thank you... Who's up next? Light-kun, frowny-face get up here.
Ugh, alright. My name is Light Yagami, and I'm not Kira. NotKira...
I had a tiring life, boring as could be,
Got even worse when some monster started to bug me.
The tool he gave turned out to be a curse,
The shit I tried to fix only got ten times worse!
Now I'm stressed all day, paranoid as well,
And this ugly-ass thing following me can go to Hell!
Oh now, L isn't that ugly. *snickers*
Oh Beyond, nice of you to show up! Where were you last week?
I had a few... *smirk* Delays. Hi, I'm Beyond Birthday! Or BB, whichever.
Everyday I wake up, greeted by my cell mate,
The guards keep me locked up, and then I grrrrrrrrrowl at them like that!
The only thing that annoys me is little Kira-kun,
'Killing for justice!' the kid's a loon.
If another kid gets one of those pathetic Notes,
I swear on my life... I'll eat his parents!
Okay, BB, thank you... Um, so that's everybody, so let's just get down to it, um... Oh, who are you?
God! Delete! God! Delete! God! Delete!
I'm Teru Mikami, yes it's true!
Used to be a lawyer now I delete you!
Write a name down in my Note!
Hope it's not yours that I wro-o-o-o-o-o-o-ote!
God for life, that's my plan!
But I've never had much of a attention spa- *runs off in some random direction*
Okay, I'm going to go get him, alright? You guys just please, play nice alright? I'll be back in a second okay? *runs after Mikami*
Light-kun maybe you should
Help that poor guy.
If he goes crazy at least it'll be his God who dies.
Little bastard! What're you laughing at BB?
*laughing his ass off*
Hey you little shit!
Are you deaf, didn't you hear what I said?
Oh look, I think his eyes are turning red! *keels over laughing*
Oh I am out of here, this is fucking ridiculous.