"Listen to me, Ash. You never should have gotten involved in any of this, but now that it's too late, I'm going to tell you something: don't trust anyone. The more paranoid you are, the more likely you are to survive long enough to see how it all ends." Pokeshipping involved, please read and REVIEW!

Hey guys, I know the description does really say much, but I couldn't really think of a better one without giving too much away. Anyway, I'm not sure how this story will turn out, but I figured I might as well give it a shot. So without further ado, here are the ages:

Ash is 16

Misty is 17

Brock is 20

Now for the actual story!

Chapter 1

"I told you we should have used the AAA batteries!"

"Well I didn't know there was a specific type of toast we had to use to start the boat!"


"Not now, Voldemort, we need to find a way out of this soap!"


"Yogi, would you shut the hell up, it's not my fault Voldemort ate all your video games!"


Ash immediately felt something hard and wooden hit him in the back.

"Ow! What the hell, Van Go!" He sat up and glared at who he thought was Van Go. It turned out, however, it was not.

"Excuse me?" Misty raised an eyebrow. She was already dressed and ready for the day, wearing a red t-shirt and tight denim shorts, her orangey-red hair tied in its usual ponytail. The morning sun shining through the window and reflecting off her smooth skin augmented the beauty of her body. Somehow, the fact that she was holding a baseball bat also made her more attractive.

Ash blinked a couple times and sat up, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. After a few seconds, he realized that it had all been a dream. A really weird, messed up dream. Ash had never figured out where his brain came up with these strange ideas, or how he never seemed to realize that they were not real. For some reason, whenever Ash was in a dream, nothing seemed bizarre.

"Oh, hi, um…" Ash was flushing from his strange comment. "Sorry," he said. "Dream."

"You dream about Vincent Van Go?"

"Don't ask me. I'm always having messed up dreams."

"Your brain must get bored a lot. Not surprising, seeing as you hardly ever seem to use it." Misty smiled, and so did Ash. They were always kidding with each other like that. After all, everyone knows that facetious insults are one of the greatest ways for people to bond.

"Well, come on," Misty said, tossing some clothes onto Ash's lap. "We're leaving in a hour." She kept looking down at Ash's chest for half a second, than blushing and looking back up at his face.

"Leaving to where?" Ash said, standing up, completely oblivious to the fact that he was wearing only his briefs.

Misty blushed wildly. She had seen Ash shirtless before, but that was when he was ten. A shirtless ten-year-old and a shirtless sixteen-year-old are two very different things. Back when she was eleven, she never would have believed Ash would grow to be this…this…hot. Holy crap. Misty actually thought that Ash Ketchum was hot. She made a mental note to see a doctor later.

"Misty? Leaving to where?" Ash repeated his question.

Misty blushed even more and tore her eyes away from Ash's bare torso. "Remember?" She said, trying her best to ignore the many different thoughts that were flying through her head at that moment. "I bet you that I could get Brock to get down on his knees and say he loved me, and I did. Now you have to take me shopping."

Ash grumbled. "How was I supposed to know you had a Nurse Joy costume?"

"Oh, come on," Misty said, obviously amused by the grumpy face that Ash was making, "Don't be a sore loser. Just get changed, get breakfast, and for heaven's sake, would it kill you to take a shower every once and a while? You smell worse than Brock's cologne." On that extremely insulting note, Misty walked out of Ash's bedroom and closed the door behind her.

"I may smell like shit," Ash said, "but I do not smell as bad as Brock's cologne."

He looked in the mirror, and realized what Misty had been staring at. he hadn't even known he had six-pack abs. Ash looked himself over, and grinned at his reflection. "Damn, I look good," he said, completely unaware of how egotistic it sounded. Then again, it did not really matter, because as we all know, the perfect time to be egocentric is when one is alone, looking a mirror.

"Pi, pika chu pika."

"Oh, shut up," Ash said, looking down at his furry little friend, who had just awoken to see Ash flexing his muscles in front of the mirror. "I'll bet you're just jealous."

"Pika pi pikachu."

"Well, girls like buff guys."

"Pikachu pika."

"Are you sure that girl pokémon find lightning bolts attractive?"


"Well, okay, then," Ash said, putting on a shirt, and walking over to the door, "You can attract pokémon, and I'll attract humans. That way we both win."

"Pika." The electric rodent ran down the stairs, its thunderbolt-shaped tail wagging with excitement, more at the thought of table scraps than pokechow. Ash undressed and stepped into the shower. A couple seconds into it, though, his head began throbbing, as if there was someone inside of it, trying to bang their way out with a sledgehammer.

Ash's head was still hurting when he stepped out of the shower, so he searched the bathroom cabinets for some aspirin. He found and took it, but to no immediate effect. Despite his severe headache, Ash continued to brush his teeth, put on deodorant, get dressed, and walk downstairs to eat breakfast. There he found Misty eating scrambled eggs and Pikachu sitting hopefully at her feet, waiting for a piece to fall off her fork and into his open mouth. Marill was also there, but he was choosing to eat his own pokechow instead. Ash's mother was in the kitchen with a plate of pancakes ready for Ash.

He sat down at the table, Pikachu now moving over to him (he preferred pancakes to scrambled eggs), his head still hurting. Ash ate his pancakes slower than usual, because he wasn't feeling as good as usual. On a normal day, he would be completely energized by now, without the aid of caffeine. But today, he was feeling absolutely horrible.

By the time Ash had finished his meal and kindly given a couple pieces of it to Pikachu, Misty was standing at the door, purse in hand. Ash stood up, his trusty hat doing an okay job of covering up his hair, which he of course had not even attempted to neaten, and walked slowly over to Misty.

"A deal's a deal," she said, and Ash simply mumbled incomprehensible words. Not only did he have a major headache, but his stomach now felt sick.

"I don't feel so good, he said, a hand on his gut. Misty replied with a laugh.

"Ash, come on, do you really think you'll be able to fool me with an act like that?"

Ash bent over and stumbled to a table next to the sofa. "Ash…?" Misty said, in a slightly worried tone. Pikachu and Marill also scurried over. "Pika?" Pikachu squeaked, hoping to get a reply. Ash's mother walked over and asked if he was okay, also getting no reply. Ash simply stood there for a few seconds. He was barely able to hold up his own weight, even with the help of the table. Then, without warning, he vomited all over the floor.

"Oh my God, Ash!" Ash's mother screamed. He would have fallen if Misty hadn't caught him and held him up. She held up and hand and felt his forehead. "My God, you're burning up!" Delilah helped Misty to pick up Ash and lay him down on the couch. He was now coughing and hacking like crazy, and could barely hold open his own eyelids. Pikachu ran up and poked his cheek lightly with his nose. "Pika?"

Ash didn't have the energy to answer with anything more than a soft moan. Everybody was now gathered around him with worried looks on their faces. Misty seemed to be more worried even than Ash's mother. "Ash…" she said, right as Ash began to fall into a deep slumber.

And that's the chapter! Sorry if it seems a bit short, if want me to make the chapters longer, just say so in your review! Please at least write a review! Reviews are like my pet T-rex! They…um…they…eat…lawyers…and that's always a good thing, right? =D