Yeah this is a one-off story I did because I was bored and needed cheering up. I was greatly inspired by an awesome FanFic - "Jacob Get's Facebook" I think, so all credit for the Facebook idea goes to AngelCullenxxx. :)

I just felt like doing my own for some random ass reason haha :)

Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight. Don't own Harry Potter. Don't own the characters... do I own anything? Oh yeah I do. Myself. o.O

AND I own the FanFic storylines I make up. Hehe. :)

I Facebooked Your Mum.

Alec Volturi OMG u are a self-obsessed, stupid, uncaring betch of a cow. Yeah Jane, i'm talking to u.

2 hours ago - Comment - Like

Demetri Volturi, Felix Volturi and 12 others like this.

Edward Cullen OOOOH how does that feel jane?

Alec Volturi fuk off edward.

Edward Cullen alriteee, jus passing comment...

Demetri Volturi yeah well no1 wants ur fucking comment bitch. so fuck off u fag. on the other hand, JANE AHAHAH OWNED! :D

Greta Davis i love how everyone hates edward. he's like the miley cyrus of the vamp world. :)

Edward Cullen WTF? who r uu?

Greta Davis ur mum.

Alec Volturi REALLY?

Greta Davis no.

Edward Cullen who r u then?

Greta Davis i control ur lives. that's all.

Alec Volturi really?

Greta Davis HELL YEAH.

Alec Volturi in that case, can you make jane be nice to me from now on?

Greta Davis sorry, no can do.

Alec Volturi WHY?

Greta Davis because i like to watch you suffer.

Alec Volturi FML. u are WAY worse than jane!

Edward Cullen HAHAHAHA Alec is pwned.

Demetri Volturi pwned? ppl stopped using that word ages ago. get with the times edward. you are such a failure at life.

Edward Cullen alrite then, wats the new word?

Demetri Volturi y shud i tell u? i dont even lyk u.

Alec Volturi OH! gutted like a fish!

Victoria 'Riley James' what?

Alec Volturi ...aren't you dead?

Victoria 'Riley James' oh yeah. SOZ my bad.

Greta Davis ^^^ what the actual hell.

Alec Volturi can u go away now?

Greta Davis noooope.

Edward Cullen lol train.

Harry Potter hi!

Alec Volturi bye!

Edward Cullen ^ roflcopter

Greta Davis edward? seriously? just die.

Edward Cullen MAKE ME.

Greta Davis the funny thing is, i can actually do that. i'll just write you off in the next chapter.

Alec Volturi please do.

Edward Cullen um, okay... just like, yeah. anyway alec ur status, y do u h8 jane? i understand but still. jw.

Heidi Volturi evryone hates jane. she is a shlag.


Heidi Volturi Felix you fucking ginger prick, i am NOT a slag. i'm just stupid and blind because i cannot believe i actually FANCIED you becos u r so fucking ugly that David Gest looks like a GOD compared to u. go and fuck yurself u fatass dick.

Alec Volturi GUTTED. LIKE. A. FISH.


Jasper Hale heh heh heh felix the cat got pwned. :)

Edward Cullen jasper? seriously? NO ONE says pwned anymore. it is so lame.

Alec Volturi edward? seriously? YOU were saying pwned just a few minutes ago until I came along.

Jasper Hale edward ur mama is lame. ooooooh! heh

Alice Cullen oh jasper. you are such a fool.

Felix Volturi AY AY AY AY AY AY. yh well u no what heidi? u just think that u r so pretty dont u. well GUESS WHAT. u think alone. jane isnt the stuck up self obsessed cow of a betch around here, YOU are HEiDI. i cant believe i like, actually slept with u. :O

Alec Volturi oh. OH! OOOOH! SILENCE!

Demetri Volturi alec u didnt leave enough time for there to be silence. u posted ur comment 3 seconds after felix u crazy fool.

Heidi Volturi YEAH well GUESS WHAT felix. jAne IS a slag u just dont no it because ur head is so up ur own arse that u dont notice ANYTHING u bastard. and anyway, a DONKEY is better than u in bed anyway. so FUCK OFF.

Edward Cullen ahahaha! yay! now i have some AWESOME comebacks for bella whens he starts arguing with me hehe! :D

Alec Volturi you had sex with a donkey?

Edward Cullen whaaaat?

Demetri Volturi heidi slept with a donkey?


Jacob Black who's a donkey?

Edward Cullen YA MUM.

Seth Clearwater WHEEYYYYY! haha awesome i loveee facebook fights. :))

Afton Volturi did anyone else notice edward called bella a he?

Seth Clearwater bella's a she-male?

Jacob Black who's a she-male?

Felix Volturi your mum is bitch!


Jacob Black who feels what?

Seth Clearwater your mum feels my dick. OHHH!

Leah Clearwater seth that's disgusting. besides, there is no dick to feel.

Afton Volturi hahaha. lol!

Leah Clearwater who the fuck are you?

Afton Volturi no i think the question is... who are YOU?

Alec Volturi yeh whos this leah kid? and seth kid? wtf? why r u on my page?

Seth Clearwater because ur mum.

Jacob Black ...killed it.

Seth Clearwater yeh well jacob? u killed it when u were born!

Jacob Black shut da fook up cos guess whos in control tonight!

Afton Volturi ...your mum?

Seth Clearwater WHEYA-HEY!

Leah Clearwater u killed it again seth u douche.

Jacob Black OH!

Alec Volturi just, just no. stop now.

Harry Potter i facebooked your mum heh heh. ;)

Greta Davis shutup harry or i'll put ur nan in a trolley. (oh!)

Felix Volturi ^^^ who r u?

Greta Davis what do u mean who r u?

Felix Volturi um lyk... don't confuse me.. but who... r u?

Greta Davis scroll up. cba to explain again.

Felix Volturi ... how do u scroll up?

Alec Volturi perrywinkle.

Greta Davis ?

Felix Volturi ahah there we go.

Heidi Volturi seriously Felix, u are such a twat.

Felix Volturi heidi i hate u u vain fucking tranny.

Three Hours Later

Heidi Volturi is now in a relationship with herself.

2 minutes ago - Comment - Like

Felix Volturi and 33 others like this.

Felix Volturi roflcopter.

Heidi Volturi ...?