This story was written mostly as a joke. I was talking with some friends about how silly the 'Forever Lazy' was and then it lead to dirty thing - of course. Let's just say they make sutras for some of the weirdest things... Anyway, this hasn't been beta read so please excuse any crazy typos or grammatical errors. Thanks.

Title: Forever Lazy
Series: Durarara
Pairing: Izaya/Kida
Rating: M
Summary: Sometimes weird sleepwear can be sexy.

Hey Masaomi! What's going- What the hell are you wearing!"

Izaya stood in the doorway of Masaomi's apartment. He wanted to surprise Masaomi with a visit since he had been so busy the past week. It never occurred to him that he would walk in on something so… bizarre.

Masaomi looked up from his sofa and glared at the intruder who didn't know how to knock. He then cursed himself for not having put the bolt lock on the top down.

"It's called a Forever Lazy, stop gapping and shut the door already."

Izaya smirked when his senses came back to him. "Where I come from, they call that a onesie." He walked closer to Masaomi to try and get a better look.

Sure enough it looked like a onesie, only it didn't go all the way down to the feet. Izaya could hardly look at him. "You look ridicules."

Masaomi just rolled his eyes. He didn't really want anyone to know he was wearing it but he wasn't going to give Izaya the satisfaction to know he was embarrassed.

"What can I say? It's cold." He looked out the window to indicate all the snow outside.

Izaya plopped down on the sofa next to him, which made Masaomi tense up. They had been together for a while now but he still couldn't completely trust the guy. He was actually glad for the small breaks they would get when Izaya got too busy with his – well, his being in everyone else's business but his.

"What's wrong with a blanket?"

Masaomi tried to pretend that the show he was watching still had his full attention. It was getting harder the closer Izaya was getting. He couldn't help it; he was horny as hell since it had been so long since their last get together.

"This is more convenient."

Izaya raised an eyebrow at that. "If you say so." He paused a bit before continuing his train of thought. "And I thought a snuggie was bad."

Masaomi finally turned to look at Izaya and immediately regretted it. His heart beat thumped harder in his chest. He always forgot just how good looking the man was and today his face was especially pale with lots of pink after being out in the cold. He wanted to reach out and put his warm hands on his chilled cheeks, but he refrained.

"Hey, don't diss the snuggie. I loved that thing before I got one of these."

Izaya blinked and then laughed. "I should have known you would have one of those too. If I didn't think you were so cute all the time you would be in trouble."

"Why is that?"

"Because that forever lazy will make you forever alone if anyone else saw you wearing it." Izaya brought his hands up to his face and blew on them. "For the love of- don't you have a heater?"

Masaomi shook his head. He was about to be very offended by his comment but felt a little bad for him when he knew how cold he must be. He reached up and grabbed his hands, putting them in between his own.

"There, is that better?"

"Much, though I'm starting to understand your obsession with dorky attire if you don't have heat."

Masaomi dropped his hands in annoyance. "If you hate it so much why don't you just go home?" He flinched at his own words because he didn't really want him to leave.

He glared at Izaya none-the-less, waiting to see what sort of response he would get.

"That's not very nice Masaomi especially after I came all this way to see you." Izaya leaned in closer, which caused Masaomi to lean back on instinct. This didn't go unnoticed by Izaya but he could see the lust filling his eyes.

"You just love to play hard to get don't you?"

Masaomi blushed when he heard that. "What? What are you talking abo- "

Before he could finish his sentence, Izaya had his lips on his. Masaomi instantly started to get a lot warmer, especially in his stomach and lower regions. His lips felt wonderful, first they were cool but they slowly warmed up with the passion of the kiss.

Izaya pushed Masaomi all the way down on the sofa as he continued to kiss him. He was just starting to get really into it when he noticed something was really wrong. Frustrated, he pulled away from the kiss and sighed.

"Damn it, this thing is not making it easy for me." He pointed to the Forever Lazy Masaomi was wearing.

Masaomi – still feeling his lust state – slowly got up off the sofa to begin taking it off. "Alright, I will take it off then. I get the hint."

Izaya stared at him as he began to unzip his front when he noticed something strange from the side.

"Wait, what is that?"

Masaomi stopped what he was doing to see what Izaya was talking about.

"Oh that? It's an emergency bathroom opening." He began to demonstrate by turning around and unzipping part of it.

Izaya couldn't believe what he was seeing, but then an evil idea popped up in his head.

Before Masaomi could finish zipping it back up and continue taking off the Forever Lazy, Izaya grabbed him forcefully and pushed him back on the sofa, this time with his chest down.

"Izaya! What the hell?" Masaomi was more than a little annoyed, his lust was now nearly gone.

He heard the unzipping of his butt pocket being undone again and suddenly got a dreadful feeling in his stomach. "Izaya, what are you doing?" his voice was a lot less angry and a lot more nervous now.

"Nothing to be so nervous about, you are going to love it."

Sure enough, his fears became true when Izaya pulled his pants and boxers down in one swift move. The cold air hit his buttocks like a block of ice.

"It's cold!"

"No worries that will be fixed soon."

"What do you mean?"

He really didn't need to ask because soon Izaya's hands found their way around to the front and grabbed onto his penis. The shock of his cold hands both hurt and turned him on, making him get hard all over again.

He moaned slightly while calling out Izaya's name as the cold started to fade and left nothing but lustful heat.

Izaya continued to pump him with his hand while nibbling on his ear. He had to admit that not being able to see what he was doing was turning him on greatly. He brought his other hand up to Masaomi's mouth and demanded him take them in. Masaomi didn't really have a fighting chance because as soon as he opened his mouth to moan he shoved them in.

Masaomi didn't really mind though. Since his hands were still cold it was almost like sucking a popsicle.

Izaya smirked at this. "My, my, my you really are a dirty little boy. I think you are enjoying this way too much."

He took his fingers out of Masaomi's mouth and stopped stroking his penis, making Masaomi whimper in agony.

"Izaya, please…" he whined.

"Please what?" he replied in a teasing voice.

"Please, don't stop and just fuck me already."

Izaya just laughed. "That sure didn't take you long to spit out. You sure are getting a lot more honest with yourself lately."

"Shut up and just get on with it." Masaomi almost couldn't take it anymore.

Izaya placed one of his saliva covered digits into Masaomi's ass and began to move it around, trying to prepare him, but wanting to torture him just a little bit more for talking to him in such a way.

Masaomi was burning up, he wanted to rip out of his Forever Lazy now. He could feel the sweat start to pour down his neck and back. When Izaya placed another digit in his ass he couldn't help put raise his backside up a bit to meet with the finger thrusts. It was pure torture.

"Come on already." He mumbled into the sofa cushions.

Izaya was reaching his limit as well. When he lifted his ass up he wanted to take him then and there. He removed his fingers and undid his own pants, hissing at the cold. He didn't waste any time before he place his tip at Masaomi's entrance.

Masaomi clung to the sofa as he slowly began to push in.

Izaya moaned when the heat of Masaomi's body engulfed his penis. They both panted heavily, waiting for the initial pain to subside before Izaya couldn't take it any longer and started to pound into him.

He started out slow, making Masaomi whine again, but then picked up his pace. He put his free hand back around to the front and grabbed onto Masaomi's penis to stoke him in sync.

They we both starting to lose control with all the pleasure they were feeling. Izaya could feel Masaomi's ass get tighter and tighter with each thrust when he finally hit the young males prostrate, bringing a cry of pleasure from Masaomi's lips.

Masaomi began to buck his hips to meet with each thrusts as best as he could. He was melting but he didn't care. He also didn't care that he was about to make a huge mess in his Forever Lazy.

Izaya kept hitting that spot over and over, clenching his teeth to help keep his control.

"AAHH! IZAYA!" Masaomi called out loudly before reaching his climax.

Izaya continued to thrust into him franticly as Masaomi quivered underneath him, and then followed soon after when his walls contracted around him – HARD.

He pulled out and then collapsed to the side.

Once Masaomi was able to regain his composure he began to wiggle out of his Forever Lazy. "Ug, get me out of this I'm dying in the heat!"

Izaya just watched the scene in front of him, still too tired to do much about it.

Once free, Masaomi turned to face Izaya and noticed it was now red for a different reason. "That wasn't very nice you know."

"Ah, but you liked it didn't you?"

Masaomi didn't say anything to that, it was true after all.

"I bet they will make a sutra for this someday."

Izaya nuzzled closer to Masaomi but found that statement kind of odd.

"That seems a little impossible with the limited openings."

Masaomi laughed a bit. "You would be surprised. There is one for snuggies."

"Ug." Izaya moaned, he may love humans, but sometimes he really didn't understand them.

After lying next to each other – closely – for several minutes Masaomi's stomach let out a loud rumble.

"It's always one thing after another with you, isn't it?"

Masaomi blushed in embarrassment. It was something he always hated about himself. When his body wanted something it always demanded for it right away, which made doing ever day things kind of hard if he ever got horny.

"I can't help it. I haven't had much to eat today." He rose from his spot on the sofa, getting Izaya to sit up as well.

"I've got an idea." Izaya said while zipping his pants back up. "Let's go to my home, where it is warm, and on the way there we can get some food."

Masaomi smiled big, he liked that idea especially because that meant Izaya was going to buy him food. "Sounds great, let me go put on my pajama jeans real fast."

Izaya's did a double take when he heard that.

"Your what?"

"My pajama jeans." Masaomi yelled out from his bedroom. Soon enough he came out in a sweater and what looked like normal jeans.

"What do you mean by pajama jeans?" Izaya was actually confused for once.

"These." He pointed to his pants. "They look like normal jeans but they are soft like pajama pants."

"Oh no!" Izaya got up from the sofa and started to walk away.

"What's wrong?" Masaomi said, it was his turn to be confused.

"I'm not going anywhere with you dressed in something like that! You better change now or you will be stuck here, in the cold, with no food."

Masaomi pouted a bit but walked back to his room to change. When he came back out he was in normal jeans and was fidgeting uncomfortably. "Is that better?"


"Can I at least bring them?"



As soon as Izaya turned around Masaomi smirked. He had many different pairs of his pajama jeans. These were just a lighter color. Izaya was just going to have to get use to his strange taste in sleeping wear.