Saint George and the Dragon (naughty version)
You all know the tale of Saint George and the dragon, but has anybody ever heard of his great great grandson Brian St George? Let me tell you the tale of his days, it took place a little after guns were invented. Although Brian wasn't a knight, he was still incredibly brave.
Brian Saint George walked to the dragon's cave one day, hoping to slay the dragon and win the princess' heart.
"Dragon!" Brian called "Come on out! Your princess gobbling days are over!"
"Yeah?" The dragon replied. "What are you gonna do, that sword of yours ain't gonna do shit against my scales! My scales are a lot more rougher, they can take sharp objects!"
"Oh really?" replied Brian, but he didn't fear for he had an alternative plan. He then took out a pistol.
"Oh and you think bullets are gonna do any better?" The dragon laughed.
Without answering Brian aimed the pistol at the dragon's groin and fired. The bullet hit one of the dragon's testicles and took out part of his huge penis.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! My spicy meatballs!" The dragon screamed in pain and fell to the ground in serious pain. He covered up his balls with his claws while tears came from his eyes. He couldn't move he was in that much pain.
"Ahhh….how am I gonna make love to that princess, now?"
"You were gonna what!" Brian raised an eyebrow.
"I don't eat humans" The dragon said in pain. "Too fattening, I just wanted to rape her. She was really attractive!"
Getting a better shot of the dragon's head. Brian reloaded the pistol and shot the dragon through his brain killing him instantly.
Brian then went into the cave and rescued the princess. Brian's tale was never memorized as much as his ancestor, possibly because shooting a dragon in the balls was too gruesome for kids to handle, but he didn't mind as long as he had the princess even though she had been a little traumatized for being raped by a dragon and had to go through a few weeks of seeing a psychiatrist.