Prompt: Five times that Spock said nothing when crew members made snide comments about his Vulcan-ness, and one time that Kirk stood up for him.
(Note: Reduced 5 times to 3 times due to exhaustion when I was trying to fill. Last piece somewhat cracky).
"I expect that report by tomorrow afternoon, Ensign Jordan."
Spock nodded to the three ensigns and headed up the ladder, back to the observation platform. He was just about to leave engineering when the sound of conversation reached his ears from below, punctuated and angry, compelling him to pause right before the door.
"I'm so sick of that slave driver."
"Give it a rest, Jordan. There's nothing we can do." Ensign Smith's voice.
"But he thinks he's so much better than us!"
The next voice most definitely belonged to Ensign Darby, but it was difficult for Spock to believe what he was hearing. Darby was a quiet, serious young man, and a hard worker. Spock himself had commended the ensign several times. "C'mon guys, it's just a Vulcan thing. They can't help being born with sticks up their asses."
A bout of snickering from all three ensued for several seconds.
"I think he lies about being half-human. No way there's anything human in there."
Unbidden, a memory surfaced in his mind. His classmates did not know he was right behind them one day when they were talking after school.
"He is not half-Vulcan. He is a failed experiment."
Spock didn't sigh as he stepped through the door, because sighing was an emotional reaction, a response to frustration. He merely exhaled with a bit more strength usual, probably a physiological response to climbing the ladder so briskly.
"Really, Spock, what the hell were your parents thinking? What the hell were the genetic engineers thinking? It's like they all took a dozen goddamn shots each and started betting on who could stick an organ in the dumbest place."
McCoy shook his head at the PADD in his hand. Meanwhile, Nurse Chapel was carefully peeling the long strip of synthetic skin from the burn across his chest in preparation for treatment. Every time he flinched, the puncture wound on his abdomen ached. The doctor's ranting was hindering his attempts to meditate and suppress the pain.
Spock wished the nurse would just rip off the material in one quick motion even though he knew the chance of causing more damage was too great. He resisted the urge to sigh or complain; it couldn't be helped. At least the Noridians had burn treatment technology marginally above the level of gauze and alcohol. Without it his condition could have become serious.
The doctor sighed dramatically. "Goddamn you and your ridiculous Vulcan anatomy."
Ensign Ayers's performance had been slipping over the course of several weeks, but she dodged Spock's questions whenever he approached her. She seemed to think that smiling and nodding at his suggestions would keep him at bay indefinitely. Then one afternoon he came across her and another ensign in a secluded alcove by one of the storage rooms, both absent from their assigned posts.
"I can't, Tessa." Ayers was saying, her voice wavering. "I can't."
"I know." Ensign Kelly patted the other young woman's shoulder.
"I can't, but he's just too kind to me. What if he feels the same way?"
Then she took note of Spock's presence, and the change in her expression alerted Kelly to turn around. They both stood up straighter, and Ayers hastily wiped a sleeve across her face.
"We're sorry, commander. Just a few personal problems." Kelly said, and took Ayers's arm. "We'll get back to work right away."
"Ensign Ayers, if I may." Spock said, bringing them to a halt. "It seems that the most logical course of action in your scenario would be to speak frankly to the object of your affections, and resolve any misunderstandings."
Ayers gaped at him for a moment, and the corners of her mouth turned down even more severely. She started sobbing and pushed past him, rushing out of the room.
Kelly crossed her arms and glared at him. "The object of her affections has a girlfriend already." She snapped. "Keep your stupid pointy ears out of things you don't understand." She hurried after her friend, leaving Spock to grapple with whether or not he should include such an incident in her performance review.
"What do Vulcans call out during sex?"
"Your attempt at humor is highly inappropriate, Mr. Sulu."
"He is not joking. We really wish to know." Chekov looked strangely earnest, peering up at Spock from his seat at the helm. Perhaps in his youth and inexperience he was seeking sexual knowledge vicariously.
"Come on, commander. It's still four days to Starbase 15. Can't you help us liven things up a little?" Sulu grinned. "Is it like 'oh baby, your logic is irrefutable?' 'I have determined you are a highly desirable partner through deductive reasoning?'"
"If it gets dirty, do you accuse each other of ad hominem or post hoc fallacy?"
"Lieutenant Uhura!" Spock couldn't keep the surprise from creeping into his voice. He wheeled around to face the communications officer, who was blushing and smiling behind her hand.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Spock. That was completely unprofessional of me."
"What are we all laughing about?" The captain asked as he strode out of the turbolift and glanced around the bridge.
"We're trying to figure out what Vulcans call out during sex," Sulu said, "but Mr. Spock is being a killjoy about it."
"What else is new." One of the yeoman muttered from her console across the bridge. Everyone snickered except the captain.
"Now don't be silly." The captain said, and fixed Spock in a deliberate stare. "They call out names just like everyone else. Isn't that right, Mr. Spock?" To Spock it seemed implicit in the captain's statement that 'they' was not the intended pronoun.
Spock tried and failed to speak several times. He glanced around at the crew, most of whom were watching him expectantly. "The captain is… correct."
Everyone laughed, and one of the ensigns Spock was not familiar with whistled. Several comments were made about the captain being irresistible even to Vulcan women, as well as his alien-seducing prowess in general. Things died down after awhile, and a few minutes later, the captain made his way to the science station to peer over Spock's shoulder.
"Sorry if I embarrassed you." He said quietly.
"It's quite all right, captain."
"Captain, hmm? Honestly, Spock…" Fingers lightly brushed over the back of his hand, just enough to increase his heart rate. "You know I prefer Jim."