*I do not own Suite Life on Deck/of Zack and Cody or any of the characters. I also do not own The Parent Trap.

I think this is the longest chapter? Hmmmm

Carey signed her bill and turned to Martin who was tipping the Bellman. "All set then. Where's Cody?"

"I just called, he's on his way down."

Kurt and Chessy joined them, everyone's spirits were low. "Okay, so I'll uh... send Zack back to you over Christmas."

"And I'll see that Cody spends Easter with you."

The elevator opened and Zack and Cody stepped off, holding hands, dressed identically in T-shirts and overalls. It was impossible to tell them apart.

Kurt turned to Cody. "This one's Zack, I'm positive."

Zack grinned at him. "I hope you're right, Dad. You wouldn't want to send the wrong kid all the way back to England."

Kurt looked to Carey, he couldn't be sure.

Cody piped up. "Here's our proposition. We go back to Dad's house, pack our stuff and the four of us leave on the camping trip."

"The four of us!" Carey gaped.

"And when you bring us back, we'll tell you who's Zack and who's Cody."

"Or... You do as we say and I take one of you back with me to London whether you like or not." Carey folded her arms.

That afternoon a 747 was soaring into the sky, luckily though, four sleeping bags were being tossed into the trunk of Kurt's suburban. Kurt threw in the final bag as Meredith watched, wearing a tight suit and sunglasses.

"What am I supposed to do for three days sit home and knit?" she whined.

Carey exited the house looking as if she was ready for a safari, carrying a backpack.

"Excuse me, what is she doing here?" Meredith frowned.

"That was the deal - the four of us go together." Kurt continued putting things in the trunk.

"What are you suddenly, the Brady Bunch? This is ridic-"

Carey walked over. "- Hi, Meredith." she viewed the annoyed look she held. "Everything okay?"

"Well, no, as a matter of fact, it isn't. I didn't realize you were going on this little outing and to tell you the truth, I'm not so sure I am okay with it."

"I agree. The ex-wife in the next sleeping bag is a little weird..." Carey smiled.

"Thank you."

"I insist you come with us, really." Meredith stopped cold.

"Care ..."

"Kurt, I messed-up up your entire weekend, it's the least I can do to pay you back."

Cody and Zack exited the house with Chessy. As the kids climbed into the car, they noticed their mother and Meredith come out of the house. Meredith was now dressed in tight black work-out gear.

"Dad, what's Meredith doing here?" Zack asked.

Kurt got behind the wheel. "Your mother invited her. Be nice."

The boys looked at each other, then to Chessy, as Meredith smiled and climbed into the front seat.

Carey closed the doors. "Okay. Have fun everybody."

"Care, what are you doing?" Kurt asked.

"I really think you and Meredith need time alone before the big day."

"Mom! Come on, that's not the plan." Cody shouted.

"Honestly, you'll have much more fun without me."

Meredith began having second thoughts. "Look, if you're not going... I don't have to go... Trust me, I'm not exactly a big nature girl."

"But this'll be your chance to really get to know the boys... Starting next week, they're half yours."

Kurt caught Carey's eye and she blew him a kiss.

"Have fun yall'!"

As the car pulled off, Chessy turned to Carey. "I would pay to see that woman climb a mountain."

As far as the eye could see, there was a vista of terrain. Zack and Cody were climbing a steep hill, wearing back-packs and baseball caps. They were followed by Meredith who was puffing and perspiring, and dabbing sunscreen on her nose as she tried to keep her balance. Kurt brought up the rear. Meredith plopped down on a rock, trying to catch her breath.

"I'm gonna kill my trainer... He says I'm in such great shape..." she rubbed her legs. "I can't believe people actually do this for fun."

"Boys, hold on, we're stopping." Kurt shouted.

Zack trudged back toward them. "Again? Dad, at this rate, it'll take three days just to get up the mountain."

"Meredith isn't used to the altitude... Just chill, okay?"

Behind Kurt and Meredith, Cody was slipping large rocks into Meredith's Prada Backpack.

"Somebody hand me my Evian... I can't move."

Cody spotted a large tarantula, grabbed it carefully and placed it on top of Meredith's water bottle. "Here you go, Mer."

Meredith took the bottle, lifted it to her mouth and found herself eye to eyes with a large harry spider. She screamed, tossing the Evian bottle in the air, losing her balance and slipping off the rock.

"Honey, you okay?"

Zack caught the spider. "This little guy was on her Evian bottle, I guess." he held the spider by the middle. "He won't hurt you, Mer.. and they taste good!" he went to pretend to place the spider in his mouth and received a stern look from Cody.

Meredith screamed again. "Get it away from me! I hate things that! That's so gross!"

"Okay." Zack handed the spider to Cody who walked behind Meredith and gently deposited the spider right on top of her head.

"Why don't I take the lead, you two help Meredith." Kurt stood up and began walking off.

Meredith rose, still not knowing the spider sat on top of her head. Zack smiled and hummed The Itsy Bitsy Spider quietly, causing Cody to giggle.

"Sure, you're going to help me... right over a cliff, you'll help me." she glared at the boys.

Zack turned to Cody. "Not a bad idea. See any cliffs?"

Meredith groaned as she lifted her much heavier backpack.

"Need a hand?" Cody asked.

Meredith pulled away. "Not from you, thank you. Don't think I can't see right past those angelic faces. One more trick from you two and I promise I'll make your lives miserable from the day I say 'I do'. Got it?"

"Got it, Cruella." Zack nudged Cody.

"What'd you call me?"

"Nothing. Not a thing..." he quieted his voice. "Cruella." he then turned back. "Oh, Mer... I think there's something on your head..."

The boys walked ahead as Meredith reached up and felt her hair... then her hand landed on the spider. She screamed a blood-curtailing scream and the spider panicked and ran down her face and right into her shirt. She screamed more, and dropped her back-pack while whipping her shirt off and throwing the spider on the ground. Kurt and the boys ran back to her.

"Are you okay? What happened?"

Bright red from anger, embarrassment from standing in her bra, and in shock, Meredith stomped her foot and pointed to Cody and Zack.

"What did we do, Dad? We were with you." Cody asked.

Later on the trail, Meredith walked by herself, banging the buttons on her cell phone. "Please work... Hello? Hello?" Meredith stopped when she saw Cody and Zack bent over examining something on the ground. Meredith snuck up behind them and overheard their conversation.

Cody turned to Zack. "I didn't know they had mountain lions up here."

"Oh yeah, the place is crawling with them." he winked at Cody. "An old Indian guide once showed me how to keep them away." Zack picked up two sticks and hit them together making a weird noise. "Woo woo woo! Just do this and they'll never come near you."

The boys picked up sticks and moved off down the trail, clacking them together. Meredith stooped, picked up two sticks and clacked them together, following, making the weird noise.

Kurt, the boys and Meredith sat around the campfire. Everyone ate trout, except Meredith, who sat on a rock, wrapped in a blanket, swatting at mosquitoes and rubbing lotion on her arm.

"You sure you don't want some trout, Mom? Is that okay, by the way? If we start calling you Mom?" Cody turned to Meredith.

"I think your mother would prefer if you called me Meredith and no thank you, I do not eat trout... for the thousandth time. I'll wait until breakfast. What are we having?"

"Trout." the trio said.

"We always live off the trail up here, it's part of the experience." Kurt said.

Meredith continued swatting mosquitoes. "What's the other part, being eaten to death by mosquitoes?" she swatted another one and looked at her bug spray. "You'd think they actually liked this stuff."

"What is that you're using?" Kurt looked at the bottle and put some on his hands. "You're going to attract every mosquito on the mountain. This is sugar and water... Where'd you get this stuff?"

Meredith looked to the boys, who made themselves busy by eating.

"That's it. I'm taking a large sleeping pill and going to bed." Meredith picked up her two sticks and whacked them together as she moved off toward her tent making strange noises.

"Sweetheart, what are you doing?"

"I don't want the mountain lions to..." she turned to the twins then back to Kurt. "-There are no mountain lions up here, are there?"

Kurt shook his head. Meredith glared at the boys, dropped her sticks in the fire, walked to Kurt and gives him a luscious kiss goodnight, smiled at the boys and marched off to her tent.

"I'm telling you guys, lay off. This isn't her thing, okay? I'm not marrying her because she's Annie Oakley."

"Who's Annie Oakley?" Cody asked.

"Just cool it." Kurt sighed.

Everything was quiet around midnight as an owl hooted in the distance. Zack rolled over in his tent and looked at Cody who was wide awake.

"You alright?" he smiled and kissed his twins cheek.

"Dandy." Cody smiled and undid his sleeping bag, crawling over to Zack. "I'm cold, though."

"Guess I'll just have to warm you up." Zack whispered and got out of his own sleeping bag, laying Cody down gently. Their lips met and they kissed softly. Cody nipped at Zack's lip and helped him remove their clothes. Zack moaned quietly at the heat in Cody's mouth as he stuffed his cock into the moist cavern. Cody groaned around the throbbing member and sucked slowly. The smaller boy wiggled his tongue and smiled up at his twin who was trying his hardest to stay upright, but couldn't, and wound up falling over onto their sleeping bags. Cody removed his brother from his mouth and crawled on top of him. Zack shook his head no and grinned, shoving Cody onto his stomach.

"What in the world do you think you're doing?" Cody tried to turn over but was held down by Zack, who was much stronger than he was.

"Fucking you." Zack poured some sun lotion on his fingers and slid two of them into Cody, scissoring him slowly.

"Nng- ah..." Cody bit his lip and arched his hips off of the ground.

"Shh, keep it down." Zack whispered, placing his hand over Cody's mouth as he slowly entered him. Zack sighed and leaned down, placing his face into the crook of Cody's neck, planting small butterfly kisses on his pulse. Cody ripped his nails along the sleeping bags, trying to contain any noises that wanted to escape his lips.

"Zacky, I'm gonna scream.." Cody whispered. "It feels so good.." he opened his mouth to scream, but Zack violently turned his brothers head and kissed him, to smother the scream that nearly slipped out.

"No screaming." Zack smiled and thrust deeper inside of Cody, placing one hand on Cody's hip and the other on the ground to brace himself. Zack could feel Cody's heart beating at the thrill of getting caught, or maybe his was just pounding twice as hard..But either way, they were having fun and for all they knew this could have been the last time they were going to be alone like this together for quite some time. Cody gasped and rolled his hips backwards, gaining more contact from his brother who was now thrusting as hard as he could into the smaller framed boy.

"You're so tight." Zack smiled and began kissing his brother again. Cody kissed back, smiling and moaning into his mouth. Their tongues twisted together and they rolled over, their positions switching. Cody straddled Zack's hips and moved fast, up and down, causing his brother to squirm and moan beneath him. Zack watched as Cody neared his peak and ran one hand up and down his body, while sucking on the fingers of his other hand. The two moaned together while Cody's final movement did them both in. Zack held tightly onto Cody's hips and thrust up deeply while Cody slammed his hips down, collapsing onto his brother a few seconds later.

"Wow.." they said together and smiled. Zack held Cody in his arms and toyed with his hair.

"Hey, come with me."

The boys snuck out of their tent and tiptoed over to Meredith's tent. They stepped inside, seeing Meredith fast asleep on her air mattress. They positioned themselves at Meredith's head and feet and on the "count of three", they lifted her up on her mattress. Cody wobbled as did Zack. When they carried her out, Meredith moved her arm, brushing her hand across Zack's nose. Zack twitched his nose but kept going.

The boys stepped out of the tent then down a path to the lake-front, where they quietly dragged the air mattress into the lake, nodded to each other and pushed her mattress off.

"Sweet dreams, Mommy Dearest." Zack smirked, taking his brother hand and walking back to their tent where they laid together, cuddling.

"Should have done that before we had sex..." Cody yawned and pressed his face into Zack's chest.

"Yeah...Sorry." Zack kissed his temple and closed his eyes, drifting off to sleep.

As the sun rose, Meredith was sound asleep on her back in the middle of the lake. She flopped an arm into the water.

"That feels so nice..." she said, while asleep. She gently moved her fingers in the water, then her eyes sprung open. She looks straight up as a bird flapped its wings and flew across her face. Meredith screamed, sat up, realized she was in the middle of the lake. She screamed again, her voice echoing off the mountains.


Kurt stuck his head out of his tent, half-asleep, spotted Meredith thrashing around and screaming, in the middle of the lake.

"What's she doing in the lake?"

Zack and Cody peeked out of their tent and saw Meredith splashing back to the shore in her soaking wet pajamas. She stormed past the campfire, kicked the coffee pot into the air and marches up to Kurt.

"What's going on?" Kurt questioned.

"Here's what's going on, buddy, the day we say I do" is the day I ship those brats off to Switzerland. Get the picture? It's me or them. Take your pick." she stomped her foot and folded her arms.


"Excuse me?" she screeched.

"T-H-E-M." Kurt spelled. "Get the picture?"

Back at Kurt's house, Carey sat on a rocker on the front porch, reading when she heard Kurt and the Boys pull up.

She rose to greet them. "Back so soon? Did you have fun?"

"Not exactly." Cody said.

"We've been punished through the end of the century." Zack continued.

"Starting now. Go." Zack pointed.

"Where's Meredith?" Carey asked.

"We played a couple of harmless tricks on her and she kinda freaked out a little." Zack scratched his head.

"A little?" Kurt took out a ring, showing Carey. "We broke up."

"Oh, jeez ... This-is all my fault. If I hadn't suggested she go..." Carey frowned.

"- Tricked her would be more like it. Like mother, like sons..."

"I'm really sorry, Kurt."

"We are too, Dad... really." Cody said.

"Will you forgive us?" Zack asked.

"Up to your room!" when they were gone, he smiled. "I gotta remember to thank them one day."

"You're relieved?"

"I think I am...I'm also starving... Chessy around?"

"She and Martin went off on a picnic around noon... yesterday."

"Hopefully they'll be back... soonish... Who would've thought my Nanny and your Butler..." he shook his head. "So, listen, how 'bout I whip us up something to eat?"

"You know how to cook now?"

"Of course, I know how to cook. I can make pasta... and pasta... and..."

"Pasta sounds good."

Later that evening, Kurt, now clean shaven and wearing fresh clothes, passed the boy's room. Inside, Zack and Cody were changing into pajamas and getting into bed.

"Wow! You look so nice, where are you going?" Zack asked.

Kurt shut their door. "Good night, gentlemen!"

Moments later in the kitchen, Carey set the table as Kurt entered the room.

"Smells good in here."

"Really? I'm just boiling water."

"Oh. Then it must be you..." he took out two wine glasses. "So what are you in the mood for, red or white?"

"I think red."

"Follow me..." Kurt led Carey to a stone stairwell that led down to Kurt's private wine cellar. It was a cavernous space lit by beautiful lanterns, the walls were lined with bottles of wine... ladders leaned against the walls, library style. "This is where I keep my private stash. Did you know I also collect wine?"

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, I'm a man of limited interests."

Carey laughed. Nick led her into a small cozy room and pulled a bottle from a rack.

"Here's a 1921 Burgundy... They say the rain that year made this the best Burgundy ever harvested... Oh wait, you'll appreciate this one..." he showed her another bottle.

Carey read the label. "Vi Day, 1946... incredible."

"Yeah, I love that..." he showed her another bottle. "The same wine my parents served at their wedding... a 152 Bordeaux. I think my sister was conceived off this baby."

"What's this-one?" she read the label. "Where Dreams Have No End... 1983."

"That one actually took me years to track down."

"Why, where's it from?"

"It's the wine we drank at our wedding. I now have every bottle ever made."

Carey was completely thrown. "You do?"

"I do."

"Can we open one?"

"You're the only one I'd drink it with." Kurt pulled a bottle from the shelf and dusted it off. He looked at Carey and saw that her eyes were teary. "You okay?"

"Just got a little dust in my eye..."

"I can offer you a clean sleeve to..."

She pulled back from the offer. "No, no, I'm fine, now. Really. All better."

"You don't always have to be so brave, you know."

"Oh, but I do, actually..." just then, they heard the cellar door open above them and footsteps.

"Anybody home?" Chessy shouted.

Kurt hesitated and looked to Carey, who shrugged.

"Yeah... We're on our way up..." Kurt said.

Kurt and Carey climbed the stairs and entered the kitchen where they were greeted by Martin and Chessy. Martin wore shades and a Laker baseball cap.

"Welcome back... How was the picnic?" Carey asked.

"Who knew the man wanted to eat in L.A.? We drove eight hours to have a picnic in a city with no parks."

"But what a town! I saw mountains, beaches, I saw Michael Keaton, not to mention I found out I have the same hand size as John Wayne and the same shoe size as John Barrymore."

"The man is a lot to handle... but a lot of fun. How was the camping trip? Aren't you back early? Are we interrupting anything? We are. Let's go, Marty."

"No, no, you're not interrupting anything. Are you hungry? In the mood for some pasta?" Carey asked.

Kurt looked at Carey, wishing she hadn't invited them to stay.

"You don't mind? We haven't eaten since Hearst Castle."

"No, no, it's fine."

"I'll set the table for two more..." as Chessy and Martin joined them, Kurt slipped the bottle of wine into a cabinet and closed the door.

Lined up in front of Kurt's house was a row of suitcases. Carey came down the front steps and joined Cody and Martin, who were dressed and ready to go.

"Okay, then, I guess that's that. We're really off this time." Carey said.

Kurt, Zack, Chessy and Sammy watched sadly as a cab driver loaded the baggage into the trunk. The boys hugged and kissed, promising to see each other over Thanksgiving. Chessy and Martin hugged and promise to see each other over Christmas... Kurt and Carey then hugged in a distant way and quickly let go.

"Take care of yourself." Kurt said to Carey.

"You too."

The trunk is closed and Carey hugged Zack hard... Kurt hugged Cody. Carey, Cody and Martin waved, then ducked into the cab. As the taxi pulled off, Chessy, Zack and Sammy all looked up to Kurt; he turned away...

A Taxi rounded a corner and pulled up in front of Carey's town house. Carey and Cody entered, dropping their bags by the front door.

"Hi ... We're home."

"Grandfather?" Cody called out.

"I'll check his study."

Carey entered the study, and sure enough, there he was, sitting behind the desk, hidden behind The Financial Times.

"Hey stranger..."

The paper came down and Carey saw that it was Zack sitting behind the desk.

"Hi, Mom. Did you know the Concorde gets you here in half the time?"

Carey, stunned, spoke. "Yeah, I've heard that..."

Cody arrived in the door behind Carey, shocked to see Zack.

"What are you doing here?"

"It took us around thirty seconds after you left to realize we didn't want to lose you two again." Zack smiled and winked at Cody.

"We?" Carey questioned.

Kurt walked in the doorway behind Zack. "We. I made the mistake of not coming after you once, Carey and I wasn't going to do it again... no matter how brave you are."

Carey looked across the study at Kurt, her eyes once again filling up, a smile on her face. "Thank you." they stood frozen, their eyes locked on each other.

"Pssst..." Cody signaled for Zack to join him in the hall.

Zack rushed up to Cody. "We did it! We did it!" they kissed deeply and pulled apart, resting their foreheads together.

"It's unbelievable."

"Oh my God, you guys are gonna love living in California..."

"What do you mean ... California? You two are going to love living in London..."


Carey and Kurt embraced each other by the window in the study, while Martin and Chessy hugged outside in the yard. Zack smiled, brushing off the conversation with his brother, kissing him deeply and pulling him off to their room.

Hey oh! Final chapter. Meh. Good thing, I have other stuff to do.. ;) I know with this one I could have added more of a twist to it to make it orig. but..eh, I was being very lazy. haha.