A/N: This is another Dead Pan entry, written in collaboration with the lovely seastarr08. It even made it to the finals in the Drama category! Despite not winning, SS and I were super proud of the product we delivered.

What happens when the SVM characters crash land on the island from Lost?

Beta'd by the awesome Lindsay K

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to its rightful owners. We're just playing.


Day 1 - Sookie

I woke up, dazed and disorientated, sand caking my skin. The sun was hot, even too hot for me, and I rubbed my eyes, feeling a burn developing. I looked around and grew frantic when I realized what had happened.

We'd crashed. Eric, Pam, Bill, Jason, and I. We'd been headed to a supe summit in Hawaii. I pulled myself to my feet, staggering, looking for the four people closest to me. "Jason! Anyone!" I yelled for them, hoping desperately for a response. The plane was smoldering down the beach, white plumes of smoke reaching high into the sky. I looked down the beach and saw Eric's coffin, and panic struck. I ran as fast as I could to it, and checked to make sure it was securely fastened. It had been damaged in the crash. Clearly the commercials had lied. He'd just spent an excessive amount of money on it, for the claims that it would survive a nuclear explosion. Why anyone would want to was beyond me.

I could hear his muffled voice inside the coffin. The crash must have woken him. It was pretty severe. "You relax. The sun's out." The coffin began to move, as he tried to get out of it. "Eric Northman, you stay in there." I threw myself over the top of it, kind of surprised that he hadn't just used his vampire strength to bust out of it. "Stop it. You'll burn up instantly. I'm not even a vamp and I'm burning." The top was jostling, and I wasn't sure how long I'd be able to hold him in there.

"Sookie?" I looked up from the rocking coffin to see Bill, just standing there.

"Bill?" I rubbed my eyes. "Bill, get under something! The sun!"

"It seems as though I am no longer affected by the sun." He held his arms out in front of him. Sure enough, no crispy Bill.

"But, how?"

"I have no idea." He shrugged. "I am also breathing, and starving."

I cringed, thinking back to the last time Bill had been starving in Jackson. "You stay back, if you're starving." I wasn't giving Bill any of my blood.

"For food, Sookie. Not for blood."

I nodded, and was quickly knocked off the top of Eric's coffin, as he crawled out. "I couldn't breathe in there. I'd forgotten how to anyway, but there was no air in there."

"You're breathing, too?" I got up and checked him. "And you're bleeding, and not healing." I touched his head, and instinctively he grabbed my hand and put my bloody finger in his mouth. Instead of his usual moans of pleasure, he spat.

"That was disgusting. Compton, something is very wrong. Where's Pam? I can't feel her. And the sun?" He looked at his hands, pale, but not burned. "It seems that we're no longer vampires. Lover, where are we?"

"The plane crashed. I don't know where everyone else is." I looked around, frantically. As if on cue, Pam walked out of the woods.

"Oh, there you all are. Look, I got a tan. First time in 200two hundred years." She'd found a pair of sunglasses. They were probably hers. Why Pam needed sunglasses, normally, was beyond me, but she had quite the collection.

"Have you seen Jason?"

"He's out looking for food."

I looked up to see a familiar strut walking towards me. I rubbed my eyes again. "Lafayette Reynolds? Is that you?"

"Sook, you are lookin' fine. And you too Eric, but you already knew that."

"But you died, you were murdered at that orgy. And you didn't know Eric." I cocked my head and looked at him.

"Must be an alternative timeline hooka. And Eric, don't even pretend you didn't have me locked up in your nasty basement. Bitch, you gave me your blood."

Eric looked at me. "Was that when I had amnesia?"

I shrugged. "Not as far as I recall. Lafayette was dead by then."

All of a sudden a large white mass came barreling towards us, out of the woods, where Pam had emerged a few minutes before. Eric yelled. "It's a polar bear, run! They're incredibly vicious."

We took off down the beach, heading for the plan wreckage. All of us except Pam, who was standing there, laughing. "You are all so melodramatic."

We stopped to look at her as the polar bear stopped, rubbing its head into Pam. She scratched its ears for a few minutes, and then it shifted into Jason.

"How cool is that Sook! I'm a polar bear here. So much better than that half panther I usually turn into."

"Uh, Jason, do you think you could put some clothes on? There's some suitcases over there. One of them must be yours." He was naked, as I knew shifters were, post shift, but he was still my brother.

"Oh, sure Sook. Hey, I killed a boar for dinner."

"As a polar bear? That's impressive." Eric looked at him, a new respect in his eyes.

"It's just over here. Let me bring it over."

I put my hands on my hips. "And then what? We eat it raw? Jason Stackhouse, you don't know how to cook a boar."

Eric, still in awe at the idea of a polar bear killing a boar piped up. "I can. I remember, from my human life, well," He looked at the sun, "my first human life." My eyes suddenly shot open. I smacked Eric in the arm. "What Lover?"

"I can hear your thoughts, you ass." He'd been thinking about what it would be like as a human, well, again. I have to admit, I was intrigued as well. We'd have to try it out later. I was also relieved to notice that, even without the bond, I totally wanted him. I think I knew that I would, but it was reassuring.

"Don't pretend you weren't thinking the same thing." He raised an eyebrow. "I don't need to be a telepath to know that."

I linked my arm around his, and for the first time, didn't notice the extreme temperature difference between us. I'd never had sex with an ordinary human before, even though I wasn't sure a thousand year old Viking human, with a thousand years of experience could ever be counted as ordinary. "We must get some firewood, and a piece of wood to use as a spit. Pam, Bill, go find some wood."

"No."

"No?" He looked at her incredulously.

"Since we aren't vampires, I don't have to, so I'm going to go with no. Why don't you go get some wood."

"You are so lazy."

She shrugged. "What are you doing to do about it?"

"You just wait until I am your master again, then you'll see what I can do about it." He glared at her, and pulled me into the woods with him. "She's such an insolent child."

"I get it. It's the first time she's been able to just say no for a couple of hundred years. So, we're here. How are we going to get back to where we came from?"

He shrugged. "I'm sure whoever has cursed us, or sent us here will reveal themselves eventually. We'll have to be on guard. I don't think our crash was a mistake. I would, however, like to enjoy this opportunity." He winked at me, and pushed me into a tree, covering my mouth with his. His warm tongue in my mouth felt amazing.

"You're such an opportunist." I moaned into his mouth, as his hands eased up my sundress.

"But you already knew that." Instead of his usual tear job, he lowered my underwear, and I made quick work of his belt and pants. Before I knew it, my legs were around his waist, and my back was against the tree. I laughed to myself, thinking he felt fragile in a way, his head still cut from earlier. I didn't like thinking about him being injured. It was off-putting, but not off-putting enough for me to stop what we were doing. I moaned with anticipation as he positioned himself and slammed into me.

"You're so warm." I giggled into his neck. Human sex was exactly between vampire sex and shifter sex, temperature wise. As I anticipated, Eric still had his thousand years of experience in his human body. I felt my breathing hitch, and with a quick press of his thumb, I came, followed by him. It wasn't until I felt him pulse inside of me that I had a realization. "Shit. Put me down, put me down!"

"What?"

"You're human."

"Yeah?" I looked him, waiting for him to figure it out. He grinned at me broadly. "I guess I haven't had to think about that for a while. In my time, it was always a positive outcome of sex." He pulled his pants up nonchalantly.

I smacked his arm. "Because me having your human baby isn't weird at all. It's perfectly normal."

"Hey, I haven't been a father in a millennium. It could be interesting. Now, I have to use the non-existent facilities. Turn around, if you want." Clearly human Eric had no issues with modesty either.

We ate like kings, that first night. Even Pam enjoyed her first human meal in centuries, going back for seconds on the pig. We gathered up blankets from the wreckage of the plane, which fortunately for us was quite intact, besides the motor, and slept under the stars. Human Eric kicked in his sleep.

Day 3 - Eric

I awoke with a start, feeling someone shaking me conscious. I opened my eyes slowly, angry that my night vision had become so poor. Why was someone trying to wake me if it was still night? My eyes settled on Sookie's smile and warmth flooded my entire being.

"After one thousand years, do you want to watch the sunrise? It's just starting to peek over the horizon."

We walked hand in hand down the beach to sit near the water, enjoying the way it lapped at our toes. She sat tucked into my side, with my arm wrapped around her shoulder. We sat silently, as the sun rose high into the sky. I had seen the beginnings of the sunrise as a vampire, but never got to watch the entire event from start to finish. It was beautiful, a sight to behold, as the sky slowly turned from dark blue to shades of purples and reds. As the sun reached its peak, the sky was a brilliant blue; it would appear to be another beautiful day in paradise.

"Hey there, lovebirds, we need to go forage for breakfast. I nominated Eric to do it since he is the only one of us with any actual foraging experience."

We turned to face Pam, who was wearing nothing but a bikini and sunglasses. It was unbearably hot on this island; we had all taken to wearing as little clothing as possible. Except Compton, he didn't feel decent in anything less than a polo and khakis. Jason proved to be his polar opposite, letting his inner shifter reign supreme, running around the beach in only his boxer shorts out of respect for his sister.

We'd spent the past few days searching the nearby woods, lucking out and finding a fresh water stream and several different types of fruit bearing trees. Between the fruit, edible roots, and boars that Jason had developed a knack for killing, we were eating well every night. We stood no chance of starvation. Should we have remained vampires, we might have been in a different situation. All bottles of True Blood had shattered on impact so we only had Sookie, Jason and Lafayette as food sources.

My first taste of food in one thousand years was orgasmic, a feeling topped only by the amazing nonstop sex I'd been having with Sookie. Although my stamina was not what it used to be, Sookie was not complaining. We were currently trying to find a more private place to enjoy each other's bodies; knowing the rest of our group could hear us did very negative things to Sookie's libido.

After breakfast, we opted to take a hike inland to explore a bit more of the island. I felt a bit out of my element; I was still coming to terms with normal human senses and abilities. Normally, I would just fly up into the sky and survey the land. That was not quite an option at the moment, but even if it was, I wouldn't be able to see it in the light of day. We passed through lush, dense jungle, thick with beautiful plant life. Our hike turned into a chase, and soon we were both running through the jungle at full speed. She was laughing hysterically, and I'd have to admit, I was too.

All of that stopped when we happened upon an abandoned compound. There were several rows of cages, very large cages. These were not prisoner cells; these were made to house animals, very large animals. Sookie went to investigate, but I held her back. The last thing I needed was for her to be mauled to death when I couldn't protect her.

I told her to go back to the trees and wait for my signal. I walked slowly down the alley between the rows, using whatever senses I had left to investigate. As I headed back towards Sookie, I approached one of the cages. The bars were coated in silver. I tentatively reached out and touched one of them. Even though this was the third day of my human life, I was still amazed that it didn't burn when I made contact.

"What kind of place is this? What did they keep in there?"

"Sookie, I told you to wait in the tree line!"

"Oh, hush up. Did you forget I can read your thoughts now? I saw that you didn't see anything. I also heard your entire internal monologue about the silver bars. You're a real projector; almost worse than Amelia."

"Really? What am I thinking right now?"

"Well, oh, OH! Eric! Here?"

"There's no one around. Use your gift to confirm that. You said you wanted some privacy."

"You're telling me that you want to have sex in a cage? We know nothing about these things! It might be a trap."

She stopped talking, finally, and closed her eyes. I could see the concentration contorting her features as she scanned the area for other minds.

"Nothing here. Let's find a way in."

We found one with an open door and made our way in. She was in my arms immediately and her fingers flew down my buttons, making quick work of removing my shirt. Her hands lingered on my warm chest, stopping over my heart, which was not only beating, but racing as my excitement grew. She slid the shirt off my shoulders, and buried her face in my neck, kissing and nibbling the skin.

"You're so sweaty. I'm not used to you covered in sweat."

"Is that a problem?"

"No. It's fucking hot."

We turned and I pressed her back against the bars. Our lips met; I could taste the salt of my sweat on hers, but I could also taste the sweet fruit we ate for breakfast as our tongues battled. My hands teased the soft skin of her hips, moving up her body slowly, taking her loose shirt up and off of her. With one hand, I tossed it aside but the other wrapped around both her wrists, pinning them to the bars. I undid the button of her shorts, pulling them down her legs, stopping briefly to taste the sweetness between her legs. I kissed my way back up her body, paying special attention to the sensitive spot behind her ear.

She grabbed hold of the bar, lifting herself and wrapping her legs around my waist. I undid my shorts and entered her in one swift motion. She used her grip on the bar to create the most glorious angles ever. Our bodies worked quickly, the sweat pouring off us both in earnest now. She was the first to reach completion, but I wasn't far behind. We collapsed onto the floor, panting as we tried to catch our breath. She rested her head on my chest, something she had taken to doing quite often since I became human again. She would just listen to my heartbeat; both nights, she slept with her ear pressed to my heart.

"We should head back to camp on the beach. We don't want anyone to start worrying about us."

"We should probably also mention this place to them. There might be other sites like it."

"I wouldn't doubt that. What kind of crazy ass place is this?"

"Based on the silver bars, I'm guessing it's some sort of vampire prison."

"It's a pretty shitty vampire prison if the vampires don't stay dead here."

"Perhaps that was an unknown factor to the individual who built it."

"I'm officially creeped out. Let's head back to the beach."

Before we left the cage, I noticed a lever. I'd later blame my human curiosity, but I just had to press it. A mechanical contraption roared to life and after a little clanging, an ice cold bottle of True Blood came rolling down. I reached for it, picking it up to make sure it was real and not just a hallucination. If anything confirmed that this was a prison for vampires, that would be it.

That night, we learned that Jason's fishing skills as a polar bear were just as strong as his hunting skills. We devoured his catch under the darkening sky. Sookie finally brought up the cages we found. Lafayette, after a little coaxing, admitted that he found some sort of hatch in the jungle too. We all agreed to investigate as soon as possible. Perhaps we were brought to this place for a reason.

Day 5 – Pam

"Eric, can I cut your hair, just a little?" Sookie was curled up in his lap, her head on his chest, where it had been for most of the past five days.

"Lover, you're a waitress, a damn good one, but you aren't a hairdresser."

"I cut Jason's hair sometimes, right Jason?" Jason had hardly shifted back to human at all over the five days we'd been here. He grunted a response in bear form. "See?"

"I guess a little bit wouldn't hurt." Eric laid back in the sand, pulling Sookie on top of him. They'd fucked all week, usually not even trying to hide it, and I was stuck here with a gay man and a polar bear. Sexually frustrated didn't even begin to describe my feelings.

"Can you guys take it to the woods or something?" I rolled my eyes, pulling my sunglasses on. I hoped my tan stuck when we turned back into vamps, which I felt was due to happen any day.

"Why don't you take it to the woods, Pam." Eric rolled Sookie onto her back and pinned her underneath him, tickling her ribs.

"Fine." I had to take care of my human needs, something I hadn't dealt with in two hundred years. I hadn't missed them at all. I picked up some tissues and headed for the woods.

While I was there, I got a surprise, two hundred years in the making. My monthly. I couldn't even remember how I'd dealt with it, when I had to deal with it. I loved being a vampire. This may have been one of the reasons why.

I'd been feeling ill for days, but I assumed it was from all the human food I'd been consuming. I had a flashback to my human life, fainting from being strapped into a corset while I had my monthly. Hell.

I sat out in the woods for a few minutes, trying desperately to remember the treatment for my condition. As a vampire, I immensely enjoyed the monthlies of my lovers, but as a human, I was unimpressed.

I cleaned myself up, and went out to find Sookie. The treatment for this must have progressed from the last time I had it, when we'd bound thick wands of gauze and attached them to our undergarments. I tramped out of the woods to find Sookie straddling Eric, holding a pair of scissors. "Sookie, I require your assistance. I seem to be, bleeding."

"Did you run into a tree or something?" She looked at Eric and giggled for some reason. I rolled my eyes.

"No, I have my monthly." I plunked myself down in the sand, and pulled on my sunglasses.

Sookie looked at me, and then at Eric, and then back at me. And then she started laughing hysterically. "You have your period? It's just so absurd."

"Laugh it up, Stackhouse. I didn't have it for two hundred years, and as soon as I'm a vamp again, I won't have it. You have a good twenty years ahead of you, if Eric doesn't trick you into letting him turn you."

She looked at Eric, who shrugged. "Fine, why are you telling us?" Eric looked indifferent. I knew how he felt about monthlies as a vampire, but I'd seen his reaction to his blood on the first day. It wasn't the same.

He raised his eyebrows. "Yes, Pam, why are you telling us."

"I require Sookie's assistance, with remedying the problem."

Sookie pulled herself away from Eric. "You need a tampon."

"What's that?" Sookie got up, and went to her suitcase.

She handed over a tube, a bit larger than a pen. "A tampon. It stops the blood. You have to change it every eight hours, or when you need to, if it's heavy."

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, well, you need to explain a bit more."

Lafayette walked up. "Hooka, you put it where the sun don't shine. When you're done with it, in some hours, you throw it away and repeat. Got it?"

"I think so." I wandered out into the woods, and Sookie followed me.

"I'm not going to, well, help you too much, but I'll talk you through it."

Oh, my telepathic friend. She was pretty great. We walked into the woods, and she talked me through it.

We were heading back to the beach, so she could continue Eric's first trim in a millennium, which looked a hell of a lot like foreplay to me, when my foot got caught in a hole. "Shit, my ankle." I hated being human. Everything hurt.

"Are you okay? What is that?" Sookie bent down, to help me get my foot out of the hole. "It looks like some sort of hatch. Go get the others. Maybes there's internet access."

I walked out of the woods and came back with a reluctantly human Jason, in his boxers, Eric in his shorts, and Lafayette in a sparkly purple tank top and booty shorts. I really had no idea where he came from, but Sookie and Jason seemed to know him. "We found a hatch of some sort."

Eric bent down and examined it, pulling on it with his minimal human strength. "I can't open it."

Jason looked too. "It looks like you need a key. A tiny square key."

Lafayette pulled out his giant diamond stud. "Give this a try."

Sookie shook her head. "That won't work."

"Bitch, let's give it a try. I think it will, for some reason." And it did. Eric and Jason looked at each other, and slammed Lafayette to the ground.

"Who the fuck sent you?" Eric growled at him.

Lafayette's eyes went wide. His eyeliner made them appear even wider. "I've been here for years, since that orgy. Someone offered me the chance to change things. I live down there, shaking my booty every three hours. I have to, or some bad shit will happen."

I looked at Eric, and he shrugged.

"What else is down there?"

"Flat screen, my webcam business. I broadcast my shit on the internet."

"Can we use the internet and let someone know we're here?"

"Sho. Come on down." We all climbed down, into the darkness.

Day 7 – Sookie

After the initial hatred for Lafayette wore off, we really started enjoying having the hatch at our disposal. Eric was able to e-mail his business partners and alert them to our problems. He also sent out a message to Felipe de Castro, King of Nevada, Louisiana and Arkansas, to explain why we never made it to the summit. I was Skyping with Sam when Bill walked down the stairs, coming into the small room which held the computer. He looked puzzled, like something was weighing heavily on his mind. I disconnected from my conversation so I could focus on Bill.

"Are you okay, Bill? You've been pretty quiet the past few days."

"Maybe you just didn't notice since you were off fucking Eric in every dark corner of the jungle."

"Bill Compton, how dare you! You tell me right now what's bothering you or you march your ass outside!"

"I'm sorry, Sookie. Let's just say the heat has been getting to me. I'm not quite myself recently."

He smiled and gave this laugh/snort hybrid that reminded me why we broke up. I gave him a smile just to soothe his ego. "Right. So, what can I do for you?"

"I was just wondering if I could check my e-mail. I've gotten in touch with Anubis Airlines and they think they can track the plane. I just want to know how soon we'll be leaving."

"Why do you want to leave so badly? The island isn't so bad. I kind of like having a human Eric around."

"Sookie, we are vampires. What is happening here is unnatural. We need to return home and to our lives. You can't seriously want to stay here forever."

"Eric and I may have discussed that possibility. It is a real possibility, you know that, Bill. Lafayette said that there is something wrong with the signals around here; they might not be able to find the plane."

"Eric has said this? He must have lost his mind when he regained his life. He can't be serious about staying here."

"We're all having a good time. Except Pam, she's not thrilled about her period. But that only comes around once a month. I suppose my tampon supply will run out eventually, though."

"Never mind all that. Just let me use the computer."

I stormed out of the hatch, cursing him out under my breath. I was looking for Eric. He might not have been a vampire anymore, or a Sheriff, or have supernatural strength, but he could still kick Bill's ass. I was about to start trouble, something I was really good at doing.

"Eric, did you hear that Bill is doing? He's been talking to Anubis to get us out of here."

Pam chimed in first, of course. "We're going home? Now? Where the bleeding will stop?"

"Pamela, enough. No, Sookie, I haven't heard about any of this."

"Why are the two of you so upset by this? We need to go home."

Jason came running down the beach to join in on our conversation. I should really say butt in to our conversation, since I initially only wanted it to be between Eric and myself.

"I don't ever want to leave! I'm a bad ass polar bear! Back home, the other shifters pick on me. But here, I'm the pack master!"

"You idiot, you're the only shifter here." That Pam sure had a way with words. She was an even bigger bitch than usual on the rag.

Eric stood up abruptly, making himself as big as possible. "Enough, the both of you. You're pissing me off. Sookie, what exactly is Bill doing?"

He was so fucking hot when he was in charge. Well, in charge of other people. I hated him when he pulled that with me. "He said he was e-mailing the people at Anubis so they could track the plane. That's all he told me."

His eyes went from focused on me to something over my shoulder. I had the feeling that meant Bill was walking towards us, and when Eric walked by me, I turned around and confirmed my feeling.

"Eric, we need to talk."

"You're damn right we need to talk, you worthless piece of shit. We need share information with each other, and you're keeping the rest of us in the dark. You tell me everything right now, or so help me, I will send you to your final death. That must be much easier now that you're mortal."

"Didn't I just tell you I needed to talk to you? Besides, you can't order me to do anything. You're not my Sheriff here. In fact, you have no power over me. And there is something I've wanted to do for a very long time."

With that, Bill Compton made the worst mistake of his life. He pulled back and punched Eric square in the face. Eric stood in shock for a moment, but the shock only lasted for so long. His eyes flashed with rage when the pain fully registered in his brain. Something primal inside of him snapped, his dormant warrior coming back to life. When they were vampires, there was no doubt that Bill couldn't take Eric in a fight. While human, they both had their share of weaknesses, and Bill actually stood a chance. Not a very good chance, mind you, since Eric was taller, stronger, and an actual fighter. Bill might have been a soldier during the war, but he was nothing without his rifle. This should actually be an interesting fight.

"That's for making me look like a bitch in front of Sookie in New Orleans. I've been wanting to do that for years."

Eric stared deep into Bill's eyes for a moment before tackling him to the sand. His shoulder connected firmly with Bill's ribs; I could hear the snap of bones breaking from my position ten feet away. Eric straddled his waist and his fist was the next to make contact, this time with Bill's face. He pulled back a few times, bringing it down in a fury of punches that was sure to do some serious damage. The entire time, he was screaming in his native tongue, and sadly, his thought process was in the same language. Pam came over to me, and after studying what he was saying, acted as my translator.

"This is for selling me out to the Queen. This is for acting on her behalf behind my back. This is for using my Sookie for her sick desires."

Eric stopped and stood over Bill's prone body for a moment, panting hard while the sweat poured off his body. His hand was bleeding at the knuckles, but he didn't seem to notice. He turned to walk away, but stopped to drop his knee straight into Bill's groin. He said something else, and stormed off, probably to cool down before trying to talk again. Pam furrowed her brow before translating.

"What happened in Jackson?"

"None of your business. Let's just say Bill got what he deserved."

I grabbed a bottle of water and walked into the jungle where Eric had walked just a few moments before. I found him sitting on a fallen tree, rubbing his hand. There was a bruise starting to form under his eye where Bill had landed his one and only punch. I took off the button down I was wearing over my bikini, tearing strips off to wet and clean the cuts. I knelt down on the ground beside him and started tending to his wounds.

"I forgot how much pain I can inflict on myself while beating the shit out of others."

"I bet you forgot what pain feels like, period."

"I have felt pain while vampire, Sookie, pain you cannot even begin to imagine."

"From Appius?"

"From Victor. He chained me in silver to prevent me from coming to your aid when the fairies took you. Not only was I in pain from his torture; I could feel your pain through our bond. Even compared to what my maker had done, I had never felt anything more intense in my existence."

I stopped what I was doing, still holding his hand in mine. This is when he decided to have this conversation? I didn't know how to respond so I just kissed each of the knuckles on his right hand, where the bleeding was coming to a stop.

"I never want to go back. I don't want to live under vampire rules anymore. We can just stay here forever, without anyone to ever tell us what to do."

We stared into each other's eyes for a few moments. I couldn't feel him through our bond, but I could read the love in his mind, and on his features, clear as day.

"I always seem to be interrupting you during tender moments, but Compton actually has something important to share. In a slightly higher falsetto, but it's something you need to hear."

I turned to face Pam, who was rubbing her own fist.

"Got a shot in for yourself?"

"You bet your ass I did. I have no problem hitting a man while he's down. He found a video in the hatch. The connection to his e-mail cut out, so when Lafayette was trying to repair it, a message from Victor was sitting, waiting to be played. He watched it, and you're not going to like it."

"What did it say?" Every muscle in Eric's body was tense. Knowing what I did now about Victor, I couldn't blame him.

"Victor glamoured the pilots into crashing here. A few of the kings and queens of the West Coast built this place as a prison. When they found out vampires became human upon stepping foot here, they abandoned the project. Victor knew you were the only one standing in his way of complete domination over Louisiana so he had to get rid of you and all those you hold near. Anyone who would side with you was sent here. No idea why Jason was involved."

"I invited Jason so I'd have company during the day." Boy, did I feel like the worst sister ever.

"Show me."

Eric rose and the three of us headed out of the jungle. Bill was on his hands and knees in the sand, trying to catch his breath and wash the blood from his face. Eric grabbed his collar, dragging him along the beach back to the hatch. Eric threw him down the stairs, demanding he start the video up again. Bill did so with shaky hands, and we all watched it in stunned silence. Everything Pam said was right, but she couldn't capture his creepy tone or sickening smile. Victor was ecstatic to send us here; getting rid of Eric appeared to be his number one goal.

No one knew what to say after it stopped playing. Lafayette came down to do his ritual booty shake, which seemed to lighten the mood a bit. Jason was the first to speak.

"So what do we do now?"

Eric stared off into space for a minute, trying to come up with a plan. "For the first time in one thousand years, I have no idea."

I was officially scared.

Day 10 - Eric

Since we'd reached the conclusion that Victor was behind our crash, we'd all been a bit on edge. Sookie and I cut the tension by fucking, as much as possible, in various locations around the island. We revisited the cages a couple of times, which was, of course, fucktastic. We laid there spent, her head on my chest. "Eric?"

"Yes?"

"I think we should go back."

"You do?" I would have thought if anyone would have wanted to stay, it would have been her. This was the closest she'd ever had to a normal life, with a human man. "Are you not enjoying our time?"

I felt a tear fall on my chest. "I am. It's just that, well, it's not real. I don't like you being vulnerable."

That was a feeling I understood well. I stroked her hair. "Lover, that is one of the most challenging things about being a vampire. Everyone else is fragile. You're like a piece of glass, that has somehow managed to get glued back together, through your amazing zest for life, and a great deal of my blood."

She sniffed on my chest. "I know, I do, that I'm fragile. And I'm sorry for being so stubborn with the fairies. I should have gone to your house, and accepted your protection."

I traced my hand over the scars on her legs. "I just hope if there's a next time, which seems inevitable, with our lives, that you'll stop and think about how many people care about you, and take some help when you need it, instead of being your irresistibly stubborn self."

"I promise, I'll try." She turned to face me and grinned, as I wiped an errant tear from her face. "Hey, you know what?"

"What?"

"Being here, with human you, I've realized a couple of things."

"That I am just as attractive as a human?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Well, that, and that the bond doesn't have anything to do with my feelings for you. I want you just as much as I always have." She kissed my neck.

"I have told you that, time and time again. It is useful, but it is not the reason we are drawn to each other."

"You know me though. I am terribly stubborn." She winked, propping herself up on my chest. "Imagine if we had a baby. That would be trouble." We had been having a lot of unprotected sex. It was a nice reminder of my former virility. I fathered four children in five years as a human.

"I would provide for both of you." There was probably a very good reason that vampires were sterile. I imagined that I would be savage in defending my child, even more savage than usual.

"I know you would." She smiled softly.

We hiked back to the beach, to find Bill fighting with Jason. "Fuck you Human Bill. Just because Eric isn't here, doesn't mean you're in charge. I won't leave without Sook."

"Who is leaving?"

Jason and Pam looked relieved to see us. "Lafayette was able to contact Amelia, and her father is sending his private plane for us. Bill thought we should leave you here, if you like it so much. I told him, we'll all need to agree on if we're stayin' or goin'."

Sookie linked her arm with mine. "We want to go."

Pam breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank God. I'm tired of this breathing bit."

Bill looked smug. "I'm glad to see you have come to your senses, Eric."

"It didn't have anything to do with you. When I am vampire Bill, mark my words, you will pay for your insolence. Pam, you too. You'll wish we stayed." I raised an eyebrow. "Now, we must figure out a way to deal with Victor."

As if on cue, Lafayette strutted up. "I can tell you how you deal with his bitch ass. You get that fucker here, and you do what you did to Bill and go all Viking on his ass, when he's human. I can call him."

It was that easy? "Really?"

"Sho. He's in touch every week about food, and new dance moves for me to learn. I can tell him that you all is dead or whatever. We can figure that out."

We came up with a plan, and Lafayette told Victor that we'd all killed each other. Naturally, he didn't believe him, so he came to see for himself. We made arrangements for the witch's plane to come the day after Victor was scheduled to come. I was going to kill him, for draining me, and keeping me from my Lover in her time of need. It had created doubt in her of my intentions, and irritated me. He'd irritated me long enough, and his presence in Louisiana wouldn't be missed. He was a manipulative bastard, and I was willing to deal with the consequences of killing him, if anyone ever found out. I wasn't sure the same laws would apply, if we were both human.

Victor came, as predicted, and we ambushed him. Unfortunately, he came prepared with a gun, knowing that it was probably a scheme. Bill and I were shot; me in the arm, he in the shin. Victor was a poor shot. Luckily for us, Jason in polar bear form was incredibly efficient at killing, and mauled him to death.

"Eric!" Sookie emerged from the hatch, and rushed to me, examining the wound. She kneeled down beside me, against the tree that I'd fallen against.

"Lover, you are really going to have to suck it out this time." I examined my wound.

She wrinkled up her nose. "I feel like I'm in some awful parallel world. I already did this once. Wasn't that enough?" She yelled at the sky and grabbed my arm, and got right down to it, pulling hard on the wound, until it popped out. "Gah." she spat. "I miss your vampire blood. How the hell do you guys live on that?"

"It's quite delicious, I assure you." Pam looked at her, deadpan. "He's dead now." She examined him, scratching Jason's ears.

"What about me?" Bill winced, in pain. "I have a bullet in my shin."

"It'll pop out when you're a vampire again." Sookie grinned at him, blood on her mouth. I grew hard at the sight, vampire or not.

Lafayette brought some bandages from the first aid kit from the hatch, and Sookie bandaged my arm up. Pam, appalled, helped clean up Bill, but was also unwilling to suck the bullet out of his shin.

It started to get dark. "It's our last night." She whispered.

"Good thing I didn't get shot in the shin." I got up, and grabbed her hand, and laughed at Bill. "Karma's a bitch, Compton. Don't forget that." I was fine, after having my wound thoroughly cleaned, certainly fine enough to pleasure my wife. Bill was a shade of gray. I led her down to the beach, and we made love under the stars.

When we were finished, she looked up. "This isn't so bad. I could live with this, us under the stars."

"Will you let me turn you?"

"No."

"Can we discuss it at a later date?"

"Maybe." I'd got her on the vulnerability bit.

"You didn't get me on any bit, Eric Northman." She glared at me.

The next afternoon, Amelia showed up, and we left the island. Jason was the most upset, and he insisted on Pam taking many shots of him, so he could show everyone in Hotshot.

The next night, in our lightproof hotel room in Hawaii, I once again rose a vampire, and found Sookie sitting on the bed, waiting for me.

"I was bored without you this afternoon."

"The next conference is in Northern Canada, in the winter. We'll have our afternoon then." I sat down beside her, and she examined my arm, which was still scarred from my gunshot. I guess it would be forever, but Victor was dead, and that was what was important. "Thank you for doing that, sucking the bullet out. I know I deceived you into it last time."

"I'm over it." She winked and pushed me down, onto the bed.