a/n: Thank you allll for the awesome reviews for the last chapter. :) I'm posting this and going to bed, lolol. Totally meant to work on like three different other fics, but... I distract myself. Enjoy!

"Hey— what're you reading?"

Generally, when Beck asked that of his girlfriend, several different answers were possible. A common one was, "What does it look like? Do we need to sound out the word? Booook. Excellent. Go be annoying somewhere else." Or there was always, "I am going to beat you over the head with it, get out of my face." And the ever-popular, "Why do you care? It's not Green Eggs and Ham, hence you can't comprehend it."

All of these, he was good with (surprisingly. Possibly worryingly). What he was neither good with nor prepared for was Jade shrieking, whirling around— thereby smacking him in the face with her hair, might he add— and flinging her book to the floor of the RV all in one motion.

"Uh," he said, spitting her hair out of his mouth. Ew. "You okay?"

"Don't— do— that!" Each word was punctuated by a smack on the arm. "Great, saliva on my extensions, too." Jade ran a hand through her hair angrily. "Thanks."

"You're so weird, nobody says 'saliva,'" Beck pointed out. "Why'd you freak?"

"Um, because you pounced on me. Like a stupid fat tiger."

"I'm… not fat…"

"Okay," Jade said.

"I'm not!"

"I believe you, Flabby."

Beck scowled. "You like my abs," he insisted.

She fiddled with her extensions again. "Okay."


"Go away," she said succinctly, leaning off the bed to grab her book. When Jade had resettled herself and found him still sitting across from her, she rolled her eyes. "I know, my reading, it's fascinating. Go back to being lame or whatever else you do when I'm otherwise occupied."

"You mean actually finishing my homework."

"Whatever." There was a pause. "Write neat, I'm copying the pre-calc."

"Cheater." Beck shoved her arm lightly, then crawled over so that he could hover over her shoulder, something he knew annoyed her more deeply than anything else when she was trying to read. True to form, Jade gnashed her teeth as his chin came to rest on the strap of her tank top.

"Get. Off."

"But your shoulder is so, so enticing…"

"Freak." After a few seconds of silence, she slammed her hand down on the book's cover. "I am going to hit you if you do not get away."

"I don't want to move. We have a conflict of interests," Beck said knowledgeably.

"My interests beat yours. Move," Jade answered, because somehow her knowledge was always more important than his.

He used his relatively free arm, the one that hadn't gone and wrapped itself around Jade's waist (oh, wow, how did that happen. Bad hand), to pluck the book from her lap. "Lemme read."


A second later, Beck was lying on his back with Jade sprawled on top of him. Admittedly a nice place to be, but not when she clambered off a moment later and took the book back with her. "Leave," Jade ordered.

"It's my bed," he said, quite reasonably if he did say so himself. And he did. A thought dawned on him. "Why so jumpy about the book?"

Jade raised an eyebrow. Just the one. Weirdo girlfriend. "I'm not jumpy."

"You flung it to the ground when I asked what you were reading," he reminded her.

Really, Beck knew her ridiculously well, because it was way too easy to see the internal battle she was having right then: admit he scared her, or admit she was reading something that he would probably mock. A conundrum. (Yeah, Jade taught him that word. What of it?)

"…You popped up out of nowhere, I freaked," she said calmly, slitting the book open to where she'd left off. "Kind of natural. Now get the hell off and/or away. Either is acceptable, both are preferred."

"I want to see," Beck said, and promptly leaned over and snatched the book back again. Jade's outraged "What the hell!" was followed by her lunging at him; the move didn't do much in the end, considering that he had flipped around and was lying on his stomach by the time she made contact.

"Mmphh," he said into the blankets, then: "Ouch, no hair pulling!"

"Give it back, son-of-a—"

"I am mortally wounded by your foul language," Beck said, flipping the book open. Jade had very conveniently folded down the page she was on, which meant that by the time her pale hands had snaked over his head and stolen it back (again), he had already been able to read enough lines to start laughing out loud.

…Apparently too gleefully, because his head stung sharply when Jade smacked him. "Don't even—"

"That's so inappropriate," he interrupted, turning over and propping himself up to watch, smirking, as she tried to work out how exactly to deal with this. It was pretty damn amusing, actually. "You know," Beck continued, even as Jade's gaze turned positively venomous, "most chicks worry about their boyfriends surfing porn— I apparently have to worry about my girlfriend reading it—"

"One sex scene does not make it porn!" she yelled, throwing the book to the floor again in what he assumed was some kind of a 'take that.'

He looked pointedly at the book, back to Jade, and asked as seriously as could be managed under the circumstances, "So do our bodies glisten when we do it, too?"

"I didn't say it was well-written!" Jade screamed. The scare-factor was negated by the flush on her face, which Beck thought about mocking before he remembered that it was kind of fun having all of his organs stay internal. "I had to grab this stupid one of Mom's—" Beck was then kicked in the shin, because he obviously had everything to do with her mother's choice of novels, "—because someone wouldn't drive me to the library!"

"But that place is so boring," he groaned before he could stop himself. "And you take forever."

"This is why I'm going to end up leaving you for someone with the mental capacity to read something beyond the back of a box of waffles," Jade snapped back.

They were both silent for a long moment.

"So," Beck said into the quiet. "I mean, like, would you prefer it if started calling your eyes 'limpid pools of blue' or whatever, because I can totally swing that—"

Unfortunately for him, Jade West didn't throw even vaguely like a girl, so it took three days for the imprint of the book's spine to disappear from his forehead.

(Oh, and by the way, he totally checked that same night— they don't glisten, in case you were wondering. Even Jade seemed kind of relieved about that one.)