Heart's Desire

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the X-Men Movies or any of the characters, and I do not make money from these writings.

Pairings: Charles/Logan

Warnings: M/M, violence, spoilers for X-3, SoloM, language, Mpreg, AU/AR (I've messed with it a bit!), WIP, Major Slash/Will have Sex!

*Telepathic Speaking*

'Thinking'

Logan has a very big secret he's been keeping for a long time now. When Jean kills Charles, Logan can't take the pain. But when Moira MacTaggert calls with surprising news, will Logan be able to finally reveal his true feelings for a certain bald-headed telepath? Or will he be afraid to get that close to someone again?

This chapter takes place throughout X-3, its going to be a series of flashbacks from Logan's POV. This will be the only chapter like this.

Just a brief kissing scene with Jean and Logan.

Prologue-Aftermath of Tragedy

*Flashback*

Logan strolled down the hall, lost in thought. 'I don't know how long I've hade these feelings for him,' he mused, snorting suddenly. 'For a telepath, he sure is oblivious!' He stopped abruptly at a doorway, looking in. "Who's the furball?" He questioned as he stepped inside, Charles smiled at him, sending his insides to mush as he locked eyes with the telepath.

*Flash*

"Logan!" Storm yelled, he ran over to find Jean laying on the ground. "She's alive!"

"Jean?" Logan whispered as conflicting emotions ran through him. Happy she was alive, but confused as to his feelings for her. 'Do I love her still or…?' He questioned himself.

*Flash*

"I don't need to explain myself to you!" Charles responded irritably, Logan's anger boiled beneath the surface as he turned from the telepath before he did something he'd regret. 'Damn it Charles!' He growled angrily at himself as he stormed out of the lab. 'How could you do that to her! Putting blocks in her mind like that! Why can't you trust me! How can I trust you if I don't know you can show me the same!'

*Flash*

Jean lay on the table looking so peaceful. Logan reached down to stroke her face gently. Her hand flashed out, grabbing his wrist hard.

"Jean!" He breathed in surprise. "You okay?"

"More than okay!" She whispered, pulling him closer and kissing him passionately, wrapping her legs around his waist and pulling him back onto the table. He ravished her mouth, pressing their bodies close together as she scrapped her nails down his shoulders. "Wait!" He called out, pulling back suddenly. 'This isn't right! I don't love her…not like before. I …want Charles, I can admit it now.'

"Jean?" He asked as he jumped off the table. "Did you kill Scott?" he questioned, pulling Cyclops' glasses from his pocket. Her eyes changed sad before abruptly filling with anger as she curled her lip at him and stood up.

"No!" She shouted, throwing him against the wall as she tore through the door and headed into the hall.

*Flash*

Logan sat up, rubbing his head in confusion as Storm and Charles headed through the "door" of the lab.

"Are you alright?" Storm asked, helping him stand as Logan wobbled a little.

"Logan, what have you done?" Charles hissed in a deadly voice. Logan winced at the sharp tone, feeling the bile rise in the back of his throat at being scolded by him.

"I think she killed Scott." He managed, avoiding looking at Charles altogether.

*Flash*

"Logan?" Charles asked quietly from the door of Wolverine's bedroom. "I want you and Storm to accompany me when we go after Jean, will you be alright for the fight to come?"

Logan moved from his bed to stand over the wheelchair-bound telepath. "I'll do what needs to be done Chuck, I'll be fine if you're there with me." He confessed sheepishly. Charles smiled and took his hand in his, squeezing slightly.

"I'll always be there to help you Logan." He smiled, locking eyes with the taller mutant. 'God that man has such deep eyes I could loose myself in them!' Wolverine thought to himself, smiling tentatively back.

*Flash*

Logan struggled to move across the ceiling as Jean's powers held him up. He managed to get the doors open to see Jean holding Xavier in the air, slowly dissolving his body. Logan's eyes widened as Charles turned toward him smiling. "Nooo!" he called out, *Goodbye Logan…I'm glad I met you!* he heard the telepath's voice in his head as he burst into pieces. Logan was thrown out the window and onto the street from the force of Jean's powers.

Logan and Storm headed inside the house after it dropped. He fell to his knees next to Xavier's chair sobbing as Storm wrapped her arms around his shoulders crying into his neck.

*Flash*

Logan listened to Storm talk about Charles at the grave marker next to Scott's. 'Why'd you have to die?' He thought helplessly, feeling his throat close with suppressed emotion. 'Can't give in to sadness right now! Have to be strong for the kids, we have a battle to fight!'

*Flash*

Logan moved slowly towards Jean as her raw power continuously tore the flesh from his bones, gritting his teeth from the pain as it healed quickly. "Jean!" he called out as he was a few feet away. "I'm sorry about this, but you have to pay for killing Scott and the Professor!" He cried out as he shoved his claws deep into the red-head. "Why do I have always have to suffer like this!" He sobbed to the empty air as Jean slumped to the ground.

*Flash*

It was two months after the death of Jean, Scott, and Charles, the atmosphere was still gloomy at times. Storm, Logan, and Hank all helped run the school, teaching and training their students.

'Chuck…' Logan frowned at the window, trying desperately not to think about him. 'I don't know how much I can take of this! I can't suppress my emotions forever, they have to come out someway!' The phone rang suddenly and growled as he hurried to answer it.

"Xavier Institute, what do ya need?" He growled into the receiver.

"Am ah speakin' ta the one in charge?" An Irish woman asked.

"Yea, one of em', what can I do fer ya?"

"This is Moira MacTaggert, ah head th' Mutant Reaserch Center on Muir Island," Logan 'hummed' at that, remembering Charles mention that at one point. "Ah have some exciting news, Charles Xavier is alive! He transferred his mind into…" The rest of her words were lost on Logan, his hand went slack on the phone as his eyes widened. "Hello? Are ya still there?"

"Charles…alive!" He mumbled, emotions running through him so fast he had to lean against the wall, suddenly dizzy. "I need to hold a meeting, but we'll be there sometime today if that's alright."

"Aye, o' course it is!" She responded. They talked for another minute, then Logan headed off to gather everyone. 'I can't believe it…Charles…'

tbc

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