A/N: So, I got the idea for this story after I watched 'Big Time Terror' back again. Specifically, when Gustavo was talking about how he prefers his fish poached with lemon and his potatoes au gratin. As he was saying that, I noticed (and maybe it was just me…) that he seemed to be looking at where Logan was sitting at the dining room table. Long story short, a plot bunny resulted. So, enjoy.
Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush. As much as I write this, it's starting to get a bit depressing… :(
At Rocque Records, Gustavo had called a meeting in his office. Gustavo, Kelly, Freight Train, and Big Time Rush were all present for this meeting. Everyone but Gustavo was on pins and needles not sure what this meeting was even about. With Gustavo, you could never tell. Each individual silently pondered whether or not they had done anything that might have caused Gustavo to be peeved with them…recently.
"So, I'm sure you're all probably wondering what this meeting is all about. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am without a cook at my mansion. That is why I'm going to present one of you with an opportunity too good to pass up; now, who wants to be my personal chef? Step forward," Gustavo said.
Kelly, Freight Train, James, Kendall, and Carlos took three steps backwards (just to be safe) rather than one. While doing so, Kendall and Carlos nudged Logan forward. As he stumbled forward, he had this deer in headlights look on his face—well, that and a look of betrayal.
"Logan it is!" Gustavo exclaimed.
"What? I don't know the first thing about cooking!" Logan squeaked in a high-pitched voice.
Gustavo couldn't figure out for the life of him why no one ever seemed to volunteer for things like this. He not-so-subtly sniffed his armpits to check to see if he had a horrible case of B.O.
"That's not true! You cook for us all the time when Mom's not around," Kendall commented.
"Pizza bagels hardly count as cooking," Logan retorted.
"Plus, you're always helping out in the kitchen when Mrs. Knight is around," James added.
"Yeah, but Mrs. Knight does all the work," Logan replied.
"Not to mention how you are always watching all those cooking shows on television," Carlos stated.
"Shut up, Carlos!" Logan said in a sing-song voice.
After hearing all this, Gustavo was convinced that he had the right band member for the job. Honestly, he was impressed not to mention surprised. He never would have pegged Logan to be into cooking so much.
"Do you guys see that cool thing in the hallway?" Logan asked, pretending to be pointing at something, before dragging his friends out of Gustavo's office.
Once they were safely out of sight, Logan smacked each of his fellow band members in the back of the head.
"What was that? What is this, Pick on Logan Day?" Logan asked, furious.
"That should totally be a holiday!" Carlos said, excitedly.
Logan merely rolled his eyes. Leave it to Carlos to not pick up on his blatant sarcasm.
"We were only doing you a favor," Kendall stated, trying to justify their making Logan a sacrificial lamb.
"Plus, better you than me," James commented.
"Exactly!" Kendall and Carlos agreed.
"How exactly is this you doing me a favor?" Logan retorted.
"We all know how much you love to cook," Kendall replied.
"I do not!" Logan exclaimed, his high-pitched voice making his lie obvious.
"Yeah you do," Kendall, James, and Carlos said in unison.
Despite the fact that they were in Los Angeles instead of Minnesota, some things never changed. Apparently, no matter where they were, Logan always ended up being used as bait or the guinea pig or whatever other animal was fitting of the expression. One particular incident involving Logan being 'ghost bait' stood out in Logan's mind.
"This is the same guy who used me as a chair for a half an hour when he stayed with us! A half an hour! Remember that?" Logan asked in an angry whisper. He shuddered at the mere memory of that.
"That was pretty funny," Carlos commented out loud.
Logan elbowed Carlos in the ribs.
"Ouch!" Carlos exclaimed, massaging his sore ribcage.
Gustavo walked out into the hallway. Everyone but Logan saw the record producer coming. Meanwhile, Logan had his back to Gustavo and was completely unaware.
"Dogs!" Gustavo yelled.
Logan literally jumped a good foot off the ground in response. The rest of the guys could hardly stifle their laughter.
"What's taking you so long?" Gustavo shouted.
Logan contemplated whether or not Gustavo even had a normal speaking voice. He was always yelling and screaming at them all the time. Was that really necessary? It's not like they were deaf or hard of hearing or anything.
"Logan was just telling us how stoked he was to be your personal chef," Carlos answered, before quickly getting out of arm's reach of Logan.
Carlos remembered when he was Gustavo's personal assistant at Rocque Records. Worst. Day. Ever.
"Really? That's great! Oh, just so you know, I usually have five meals a day. Breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner, and a midnight snack," Gustavo said.
All the color drained from Logan's face when he realized what exactly that meant; he would have to—live—with Gustavo. One night was bad enough to emotionally scar him for life. But night after night…no amount of therapy or counseling would ever make him right again.
"Ooh! And we can ride to and from Rocque Records together! You'll pretty much be with me 24/7. How awesome is this?" Gustavo asked, clearly excited.
Logan made one of his hands into a gun, and pretended to hold it to the side of his head and pull the trigger, all the while mouthing the words, "Kill me now!"
Gustavo was perplexed when Kendall, James, and Carlos started snickering all of a sudden for some unknown reason. He just dismissed it though. He didn't even want to know what they thought was so funny. He had come to the conclusion a long time ago that the dogs were just…weird…like that.
"So Logan, are you ready to go?" Gustavo asked.
He got his answer when Logan, turned around and ran like had never ran before. Unfortunately for Logan, he ran right into Freight Train, who effortlessly scooped Logan up, slung him over his shoulders, and took him kicking and screaming to Gustavo's limo.
Kendall, James, and Carlos stood there and waved at Logan with huge smiles plastered on their faces. This only made Logan squirm even more. His efforts were futile though.
Gustavo kicked back in his media room watching sports on his humungous plasma television. Meanwhile, Logan was slaving away in the kitchen making Gustavo dinner—fish poached with lemon and au gratin potatoes.
Back when Wayne Wayne was trying to replace a member of Big Time Rush, Gustavo made a comment that he thought Wayne Wayne would try to replace Logan rather than Kendall. As it turned out, James and Griffin also made similar comments. Truth be told though, no matter how hard of a time Gustavo gives Logan, he secretly was his favorite.
Of course, the fact that Logan was so easily intimidated had a lot to do with it. Kendall rarely ever was intimidated by Gustavo, much to his chagrin. Carlos was the most reckless member of Big Time Rush. However, that also made him probably the most fearless. As for James…well, Gustavo still couldn't stand James. He reminded him too much of Matthew McConaughey. Gustavo loathes Matthew McConaughey.
There was no denying that out of all the members of Big Time Rush, Logan was the most improved. Gustavo recalled when he first met the dogs back in Minnesota, and when he first started working with them at Rocque Records. Back then, Logan couldn't sing or dance. Now, well Logan still wasn't much of a dancer. As for his singing, Logan has made great strides. Carlos on the other hand…
So really, Logan proved that Gustavo's boast that he could make a dog into a pop star wasn't just a boast; it was a fact. All of those reasons were why Logan was Gustavo's favorite.
"Is something burning?" Gustavo shouted, wrinkling his nose in disgust.
He scrambled out to the kitchen to see a cloud of smoke. Gustavo quickly grabbed the fire extinguisher out from under the sink and doused the source of the smoke—the fish and potatoes.
Gustavo and Logan both coughed as they retreated to a part of the mansion that wasn't smoky.
"What, were you trying to burn my mansion down?" Gustavo shouted.
"What? No!" Logan replied, incredulously.
"You do realize that if that was what you were trying to do, I'd just have to live with you dogs at the Palm Woods then."
Logan hung his head, not even bothering to try to hide his disappointment at there being seemingly no escaping Gustavo for him.
Gustavo was starting to think that having Logan, or for that matter, any of the dogs be his personal chef was a bad idea. The four of them were always breaking things. Gustavo would have to pay for the damages. Then, Griffin would get on Gustavo's case about spending so much. It wasn't a stretch to say that the dogs broke everything they touched. Little did Gustavo know that the fire in the kitchen was no accident.
Logan could cook. He just didn't want to. Especially for Gustavo. Thus the "accidental" fire.
"Maybe we should just order pizza," Logan suggested.
"No, no. If you don't get back in there and cook for real, then you won't get your daily paycheck. A whopping two thousand dollars. You would like to get something out of this, wouldn't you?" Gustavo asked.
Logan's eyes bugged out when he heard how much he would be getting paid to be Gustavo's personal chef. He started to change his frame of mind. It would be nice to have some spending money. Plus, he was a good cook when he actually put his mind to it rather than starting a fire in the kitchen.
"Poached fish with lemon and au gratin potatoes coming right up," Logan said, before scrambling off to the kitchen.
Gustavo was quite proud of his handiwork. In actuality, there never was a personal chef before Logan. He had made it up. Logan, despite being a genius, fell for Gustavo's lie hook, line, and sinker. Now Gustavo did have a personal chef. This just solidified Logan's spot as Gustavo's favorite.