A Kinection to the Force

The Jedi was confused.

To be fair, he'd been confused for a long time, ever since Order 66 was given. And with Palpatine declaring the formation of the Galactic Empire, his confusion had only deepened. But while such confusion was mixed with grief, his confusion right now was accompanied by...well, even more confusion. Because with the 501st suddenly succumbing to what the Naboo security forces had dubbed the "Stormtrooper Effect" and a Trade Federation Vulture droid landing in support of them...well, things had got strange.

Well, it could be worse...thought the Jedi to himself, lazily deflecting the poorly aimed shots of the stormtroopers back at them. These guys could have retained their skills from the Clone Wars...

Although Queen Apailana's defiance of the Empire had cost her her life and the lives of many of Theed's citizens, the Jedi had so far escaped judgement. And as he sent the stormtroopers' shots back into them, his lucky trend continued. Letting the Force guide his actions, he was free to focus on the important things. And top of the list was finding out why a CSS droid starfighter was being used by the Empire.

Maybe they need its targeting systems, the Force-user thought, deflecting the Vulture's shots back into it. Watching it buckle under the impacts, he knew that unlike the stormtroopers, the droid could actually hit its target. And while it was incapable of dealing with the damage it had sustained, trying to take off and only crashing, the Jedi refused to let his guard down...or at least he did until the next wave of stormtroopers came at him.

Maybe they're guilty...thought the Jedi, noticing the pattern the Emperor's servants were falling into. Maybe they still hold true to the Republic...

In all fairness, that was unlikely. The clones hadn't thought twice about executing Order 66 and a year later, were just as willing to hunt down Jedi on Naboo. But if that was the case, why were the soldiers of the 501st Legion not only running towards him instead of maintaining a distance? And why, when they came within his reach, did they just stop and stand there? The most they were doing was making the Jedi feel slightly guilty about cutting them down. All in all, the only remote threat he'd faced today was the Vulture droid-...


...and the pair of armoured assault tanks once used by the Trade Federation.

Stars and galaxies! the Jedi thought, dodging a second blast from the AAT's laser cannon. Did the Dark Side tear a hole in the galaxy's intelligence quotient? Or has its shroud just covered the eyes of the soldiers in front of me?

Trusting in the Force, the Jedi let out a surge of energy, sending the AAT crashing into its already destroyed counterpart. While these questions weren't all that relevant to his current predicament (though that might have been an exaggeration, given the 501st's sharpshooting 'skills'), they were certainly the most interesting ones. And sending the remaining stormtroopers hurtling through the air through his powers, there was no-one he could ask. Well, no-one except Darth Vader.


Was this punishment, the Jedi wondered? A strange twist of fate in light of his overconfidence? "Pride comes before a fall" as the Jedi said (or "before a fall, pride comes" as Yoda would have put it) and he'd become so used to fighting cannon fodder that the last thing he expected was having a fallen Jedi touch down in a Sentinel-class landing craft. All in all, the only thing that was unexpected right now was Darth Vader igniting his lightsaber and marching forward to continue the work he'd started a year ago.

Somehow, the Jedi was able to stand his ground. Not so much from overconfidence, but from the acceptance that there was nothing else he could do. With Vader within feet of him, it was too late to flee. And while he was under no delusions as to the chances of him defeating Palpatine's right hand, the least he could do was die on his feet...or something.

"Pitiful..." the Dark Lord mocked as he pierced the Jedi's torso after blocking his initial strike. "I expected something better from Kinect."

Wh...who? the Jedi rasped, lying on the ground in agony. What...?

The Dark Lord didn't answer. Or if he did, the Jedi didn't hear him. The Dark Side was closing in around him and there was nothing left to do but let the darkness take him and become one with the Force. He was ready to accept his fate.

What he wasn't ready for was the thing he saw in his final moments. The most terrifying thing in all Creation...

...the Red Ring of Death.


Somehow, I'm even less reciprocal to Kinect than I was to it back when it was named Natal. A poor showing of its Star Wars game is part of this. Still, made for some good laughs...for the wrong reasons.