** The Snow Is Red **
== Author Notes ==
*sigh* I know that I may possibly get killed for writing this, but I was looking for a way to let out steam. And if you were there at my game two nights ago, then you know the reason why. *bangs head against a wall* Plus I just saw "A Walk To Remember." It's such a sappy movie but sad nonetheless and I liked it. =*)
Now you, kind reader, know what has inspired me to write this one shot (yes, one shot) fic. So after you read (if you even do read it at all) this, please oh please refrain from any violent attempts at my life because you are disappointed or gnashing your teeth in hellish anger because of the outcome of this fic. And take into consideration the fact that my mind just works in a twisted fashion. I must have been hanging around J-anne too long. I'm just joking, J-anne. *sweatdrop*
And about the rating, well I couldn't decide whether it should have been PG-13 or R, so to be on the safe side, I put the rating as R. Okay, on three. And a one and a two and a one, two, three!
I walked along the snowy pavement fiercely rubbing at my swollen eyes, at the same time severely scolding myself for getting involved with such a scumbag!
You're probably wondering if I'm in my right mind at all to be walking home this dark, ice-cold winter night at such a late hour with snow up to my ass. Well, to tell you the truth, I'm probably not in my right state of mind; I've lost it when I first met that…that poor excuse for a man!
The wind began to pick up and started nipping at my arms and legs as if it were some starving animal looking for anything that was chewable to nibble on. I knew I should have brought my coat with me when I went to march up to his "hangout," but I was just too angry and disappointed with that slime-ball that I didn't know what I was doing anymore.
After walking another five yards, I really began to mentally slap myself for being such an idiot to have left my jacket at home. I must be picking up these traits from that moron, and I'm going to catch pneumonia because of it!
That's it! When I see him tomorrow, I'm calling it quits. I'm gonna tell him off the minute I see him, and tell him that it's over, that our relationship was a waste, that there's nothing between us anymore…
I stopped in the middle of my fast-paced walking to stare at the crisp, white snow and let the truth sink in. And honestly, it hurt me. It tore and ripped at my insides like a cat trying to claw its way to freedom. I loved the idiot. I really did, but I began to doubt if he loved me. And no matter how much I said to myself that I hated him and that I was going to tell him that our relationship was over, I knew that I wouldn't have the heart nor the strength to be able to do it because it would all just be a big lie.
You know, he used to tell me that he loved me all the time. He said that three-word phrase to me so often that I began to wonder if he really did mean what he said. But lately, it's been quite the opposite. He spends less time with me and I haven't heard him say those three little words to me in so long.
He's so caught up with his latest trade to even notice me anymore or the things that I do for him, no matter how insignificant they may be.
I always knew he was a talented and gifted guy, and when I had pointed that out to him, he just shrugged and told me that he couldn't give a damn about talents as long as he had me. But when someone else came up to him and told him that, he left me in the corner. What's wrong with me, you might ask. Well, if you know him and love him the way that I do, you'd understand why I'm still clinging on to him and why I put up with all of his shit.
Simply, he's one of those "one in a million" type of guys. The type of guy that every girl would die to spend the rest of eternity with, but only one lucky girl out of those "every girl" would ever get the chance to experience. That girl was me. You might be thinking that I may not be so lucky anymore, and you know what? I wouldn't have anything against you. In fact, a tiny part of me might just agree.
Ever since he met with, oh what's his face? Kurei? Yeah, that's him, the leader of the "union" that the dork chose instead of me. I don't know much about him except that he formed some kind of group and lives in a mansion. Though the dirt-bag doesn't talk of this Kurei much, my calculated theory of him is not a positive one, and their so called "trade," though I don't know much of it either, I'm hypothesizing, can't be any good. I mean, how can it be when he refuses to tell me anything about it or what he does in that union.
And after the ass finishes a so-called "job", of course, ditching me for it, he tries his best to make it up to me, and he looks sorry enough. But the apology within him doesn't seem as sincere anymore. I forgave him so many times and let his mistakes and slip-ups slide, but what he did tonight was the straw that broke the camel's back!
A few days ago, I made him promise to come and stop by my house tonight because I had a surprise for him. He gave me one of those smiles that had the mysterious power to turn me into a puddle of slime and gave me his word that he would come. And, naturally, I believed him! What a fool I was!
And I didn't mention anything about it being our two-year anniversary because I figured that he already knew. I mean, how could he forget right?
Well, guess what? That looser (and a half) did forget; he had no clue that it was our anniversary. He thought it was just another of my wanting to spend time with him. Now those were events that he had been blowing off a lot lately! The nerve of that asshole!
I, emphasis on the "I", cooked the dinner, and had the dinner table all set up. I was even all dolled up, which is something that I never bother to do unless it IS a special occasion.
I pretty much went all out this year. I bought myself a white silk blouse and a black skirt with matching strappy heels, all for this one event and then I would never look at those pieces of clothing again. And did I mention that I spent a grueling 3 – 4 hours working on my hair and makeup? Yeah, well I did! And for what? Absolutely nothing! Except maybe to be treated like shit!
I sat on my couch all evening reading a book while waiting for his arrival. He never showed. I prayed to God that maybe he was just having car trouble or maybe he couldn't find something decent to wear (as if) or he was still shopping for a gift. He was never the last minute type of guy though. So what do you think I did?
Yup. I picked up my phone and dialed his cell phone number. I can't even BEGIN to describe my frustration and hurt when I heard the same men's voices in the background when I called during those nights when he didn't show up at my house when he was supposed to. He ditched me again, and for the last time!
I stormed out of my house, my blood practically boiling and my eyes on fire. Girls weren't allowed at Kurei's mansion because his "union" is supposedly an all guy thing. Screw that!
I wasted no time in decking out the lights of the two guys that restrained me at the front door. I continued to march into the house and almost threatened this one guy that I came across that I'd give it to him good if he didn't tell me where my ass of a boyfriend was.
I think I scared him good because when I started to walk away, he was still staring at the same spot that I had been standing when I caught a hold of his collar and started screaming in his face.
I didn't care if I made a scene, but when I found that scum sitting on one of Kurei's bars hounding away on a trillion glasses of booze, I showed him my fist. I didn't know my own strength until after I saw him fly across the room when my fist made contact with his face.
Concealing my surprise, I glared at him sprawled on the floor. After an incoherent groan, he propped himself up on one elbow and used his other arm to wipe away the blood that was dripping from the cut that I had given him on his lower lip.
"Fuuko, babe, what are you doing here?"
Remember when I said that my blood was practically boiling when I left my house? Well, now it WAS boiling!
"Is that all you have to say?"
He smirked up at me from his position and managed to drawl out, "No. I'm also very surprised to see you here."
"Why you insufferable piece of…!" I walked up to him and slapped him in the face. "You have no idea what today is, do you?"
My eyes now began to burn and itch as I felt tears forming in my eyes. It hurt me to do this to him. It really did.
"And I need to get me some more to drink."
The men in the room laughed at his comment, and all I could do was stare at him for the longest time before bowing my head, my fists clenched and ready to do more damage to his face if he dared to say another thing that would piss me off! And he knew exactly what to say to do just that!
"I can't believe you'd break your promise to me, and on this day, no less."
I looked up to see his eyes filled with apology, and I softened. Maybe he did remember.
"I totally forgot, and I'm sorry." He rested both his hands on my shoulder and he looked deep into my eyes. "How could I ever forget that today was your birthday?"
I blinked at his response before immediately swatting his hands away.
"I don't believe you! My birthday was a month ago! And may I mention that you forgot that too? But no! Today is not my birthday! It's our two-year anniversary, and is your skull really that thick that you have indeed forgotten!? And here I thought you were wise!"
"Ooh, feisty femme, ey?" A guy who was sitting on the far corner of the room watching the scene before him actually had the nerve to speak up.
"Put a lid on it! This doesn't concern you!" I looked about the room and noted that all the men had stopped what they had been doing when I entered and were now comfortably sitting on one side of the room watching the situation as if it were some kind of free movie.
"What kind of sick and twisted union is this anyway!? Don't you people know how to mind your own damn business!?"
"Fuuko, babe, don't get all hostile on them now. You were the one who barged in here, if I may remind you."
"And you! I can't believe you're actually sticking up for them!"
"Is that a crime?" he slurred.
I threw my shoe at him and it made contact with his head, and I couldn't care if he suffered major brain damage because of it. On second thought, his brain already is damaged!
"Look, Fuuko, I just had to be here. I have another job tonight. Please understand." His features were now serious. "Is that so wrong?"
I didn't say anything for a while but continued to glare at him.
"Yes and no! But you could, at least, have had the decency to call me and tell me that you couldn't make it. Then I wouldn't have bothered to cook dinner and set up a table for you. Nor would I have bothered to dress up like this." I stretched out my arms beside me to stress my point.
He averted his eyes to the ground to look as if he were sorry. "Look, Fuuko, I'm sorry that I can't make it tonight. This happens to be very important."
"And I suppose that it'll kill you to be with your girlfriend instead of here with your buddies?"
I caught the look of uneasiness flash through his face before it disappeared.
"You can say that."
"You know, I don't understand you. Not anymore! What happened to the man that I thought I knew? What happened to the man I thought I loved? Answer me that and I'll leave you alone!"
"Alright." He cleared his throat. "Honestly, Fuuko, I don't know what man you're talking about."
The tears that I tried with all my will power to hold back suddenly came rushing out and poured down like waterfalls down my face.
I stood up from where I knelt before him and began to laugh like a maniac. My stress level went through the roof and marked the beginning of my insanity.
"You're such a bastard, Tokiya Mikagami. I don't think I've ever despised you as much as I have today and tonight nor will I ever. You, being the jerk that you are, no wait. You, being the king of jerks that you are, actually have the nerve to shoo me away when I came all the way over here on foot to remind you that today was our second year anniversary. I shouldn't even be telling you this. You should automatically know it!"
"Well, if that's all you have to say, you can leave now. I'll just talk to you tomorrow, okay?" His voice, dropped to a hush, was so calm and devoid of any feeling that I couldn't detect even a tinge of regret or shame in his voice.
I took one last look at him without saying anything before grabbing my shoe and turning the way I had come, not paying attention to the hundreds of male eyes watching my every move until I exited the front door. I hadn't really noticed, but after I turned my back, some guy dashed on over to Tokiya, who was still on the ground, and started whispering something in his ear.
You know what? Maybe Tokiya was always interested in the male species. He just never knew it until he joined this union. I mean, it is an all guy thing and he does prefer to spend his time with them more than he would with me. Oh, who cares!
And that's what happened; that's the reason why I'm out here in the middle of the night freezing my ass off, wallowing in some shitty self-pity.
I don't know how long I had been standing in the same spot watching as more snow piled up on the spot where I had been staring.
I've never seen the snow this white before…nor have I seen the city this desolate.
I shivered not from the cold but because something just didn't feel right. I turned around and resumed my walk home.
I huddled against myself as the buildings and shops cast eerie shadows around me. The howling of the wind didn't help any to easy my present state of fear.
Usually, nights like this don't scare me, but something – something felt so out of place. Forgetting about the coldness of the weather, I quickened my pace and darted my eyes from side to side. Yes, I admit! I was being paranoid, but if you happened to be in the same, exact position as me, you'd act more than half as neurotic.
I turned the corner into a spooky alley and let out a yelp as I felt strong, lean arms grab me by the waist and shove me against the wall.
I struggled and writhed to get free of the bastard's hold, but he wouldn't let up. I was about to yell out once more, but my attacker's hand clamped over my mouth to keep me from doing so. I would have had no problem biting into this asshole's flesh, but he had pressed his face close to mine, just near my ear, and said something to me in a low voice.
My eyes widened at the sound of his voice. How could I ever mistake it for anyone else's but Tokiya's?
"What the hell are you doing here? Shouldn't you be…?
He cut me off with a harsh shush.
"What's going on?" I demanded.
"Long story. Just stay here, and whatever happens, don't leave this spot until I say so. Got it?"
"So now you're bossing me around? Do I look that pathetic to you, Tokiya?"
"No, of course not. But it'd do you good to do as I tell you."
He left without saying another word, and all I was able to do was mutter an "arrogant asshole".
I stayed in the designated spot in the alley for some ten minutes before I could fidget no longer. I was about to yell out to Tokiya to quit playing this twisted joke on me when I heard not so distant sounds of gunshots being rallied.
Horror overcame my visage as I began to imagine the unthinkable. Tokiya…
Forgetting all about Tokiya's previous order to stay where I was until he said so, I dashed out of the alley in a frenzy and cried out Tokiya's name, my voice filled with panic.
The area was still; it was dead silent and dark as ever. I couldn't give a rat's ass what my imagination thought of the shadows that befell the snow-covered streets. All I could think about was Tokiya.
"Tokiya-kun! Daijobu desu ka? Tokiya!!"
Tears were forming again in my eyes and I could tell that they were ready to send out a new wave of rivers down my face. But no! I refused to believe that anything had happened to him.
"Tokiya? Daijobu? Please answer me. Onegai!"
I was just about to break into a run once more when I felt myself being shoved some feet away from where I stood, hearing two more gunshots simultaneously ring out in the dead of night. It was followed by a masculine wail not too far off and then a thud to the ground.
I picked myself up and turned to the direction of the wailing and saw a man in a black trench coat dead on the ground, blood spewing out in all directions from, I suppose, the wound on his head. If he's dead, then that means Tokiya is…
I broke into a smile and turned to the direction where I felt myself being pushed out of the way. My smile faded and in its place terror appeared.
Where I had been standing lay Tokiya, his right arm outstretched, his gun still in his hold. I ran over to where he lay, hoping to God that he was alright, and he merely just fainted due to shock. As I neared his body, I brought both of my hands to my mouth to stifle any form of gasps or shrieks.
Apparently, whoever Tokiya had shot also got a hit at him. His black dress shirt was damp with thick, warm liquid.
"Tokiya…" My voice came out in a choked whisper.
I slapped him in the face to get him to wake up.
"You jerk! Why didn't you tell me you were some kind of assassin!?"
I felt him stirring beneath me and he began to cough and spit out blood.
"That…that's my girl, eh, Fuuko? Always the feisty one." He smiled at me and coughed some more.
"Tokiya!" More than relieved, I bent down to hug him and I stayed like that for what seemed like forever before I got back up and yelled at him.
"Don't ever do that again!"
With one hand, he slowly began to caress my cheek, and with the other he held onto my right hand.
"…gomen nasai, Fuuko-chan."
He let out a forced laughter, and I squeezed my eyes shut as he coughed and spit out more blood.
"Gomen? Nani desu?"
"For lying to you. For treating you like shit the past couple of months. For never being there on occasions like tonight. For blowing you off. For breaking…"
He sounded so pathetic. His voice was choked and broken. He needed an ambulance. This was crazy! With my free hand, I searched through his pocket for his cell phone.
"I guess this is karma coming to bite me straight in the ass for all the shit that I've put you through, eh?"
Evidently, he knew what I was looking for, and with the hand he used to touch my cheek, he grabbed my roaming hand.
"Are you out of your mind? Do you wanna die?"
"It'll…it'll be a waste of time, Fuuko."
"Don't say that! First you say you're sorry for being a jerk, and now you're starting up again! You really do wanna leave me, don't you?"
He coughed some more.
"No, of course not."
I turned my head away and refused to listen, but he turned my face back towards him.
"Fuuko, what you said at the mansion earlier? You were probably right."
"About me being a bastard and all of those derogatory names that you called me." He shut his eyes and squeezed my hand. "I know I've broken so many promises lately, and I wish your forgiveness."
"Forgiven. Now let me have that phone."
I shook my head, indicating that I wanted him to stop, and once again attempted to dig through his pockets for his cell phone, and this time he didn't stop me.
"I loved you so much once before, Fuuko, before all of this shit. And tonight can never amount to the love that I've ever felt about you."
I stopped rummaging through his pockets after I found what I was looking for and looked down at him. His eyes were glazed over.
"Tokiya, hang in there."
He took my hand in his one more time and somehow drew my eyes to his in a lock.
"…love…you, Fuuko-koi. …always…have and…and forever…will…"
Tokiya's eyes slowly closed as his head rolled to the side, his hands dropping to the cold pavement, all signs of life completely gone.
I dropped the phone and pursed my lips in an attempt to keep from whimpering.
I put on a forced smile and persuaded myself to believe that he wasn't dead. He can't be. He wouldn't leave me. He just wouldn't! If he had done so much as to save my life tonight, he wouldn't die!
My tears, on their own accord, spilled down my face and wouldn't stop. Everything was a blur, and I just kept calling out to him.
I felt my heart shatter into a thousand pieces and I knew then that nothing would be able to piece it back together.
I slapped him in the face.
"How could you do this to me!? Wake up! If you love me, you wouldn't leave!!"
I clutched at his shirt, not giving a care in the world if my hands became stained with his blood, and shook him vigorously, as if by doing so it would bring him back to life.
I broke down and cried on his chest, still shaking him.
"You can't leave me!"
My voice dropped down to a whisper.
"…you really are a selfish bastard, Tokiya…you didn't even give me the chance to say I love your…didn't even give me the chance…to say good-bye…"
I continued to cry through the night, my broken heart being expressed through my mourning.
"…what a shitty anniversary…Tokiya…"
Far in the distance, I could hear the sound of screeching tires and men's voices calling out Tokiya's name. I hated them; condemned them! But what could I do? Tokiya was gone…
…and that night, the endless mass of snow looked nothing but red…
== Final Notes ==
When I finished writing this, I was happy with the way it ended because I was mad when I wrote it. But after I read it over for grammar mistakes and typos, I realized the true measure of this fic's "shittyness". *sweatdrop* Hmm, the word shit was really an overused word in this fic, ne? Gomen. *sweatdrop*
I can't believe I tortured both Tokiya and Fuuko. _ I'm such a horrible person…but only when I'm mad. Please forgive me. Please, please forgive me!! *bows down*
Oh and please don't get me wrong. I love Kurei-chan! He's not the villain in this fic at all. If anything, the villain would have to be me. *sweatdrop*
And last, standard disclaimers apply. All characters belong to Anzai Nobuyuki-sama, who, without his characters, this fic would never have come into creation, not that I'm proud of it or anything. But I would have had to take it out on two other characters. *sweatdrop* Hopefully, it isn't a crime to kill off characters. Next time I'll make sure to let out steam on a different anime. *sweatdrop*