This is M for a reason.

I do not own south park and the definition of insane came from dictionary dot com.


An adjective.

1. Not sane; not sound of mind; mentally deranged
2. of, pertaining to, or characteristic of a person who is mentally deranged: insane actions; an insane asylum.
3. senseless: an insane plan.

You want me to use it in a sentence? Jesus, picky aren't we? Alright, alright. Calm down Stan, don't get your panties in a bunch Mr. Detective. Fuck. Kenny McCormick, aka me the redneck hick boy, is completely and utterly insane, loony, fucked up, and not right in the head. Now that's what you think, that's what the judge thinks and that's what everyone else thinks too. Just because I hope I killed my boyfriend…wait? How? Should I speak louder so that piece of shit recorder gets everything? 'cause I ain't repeating this bullshit again. If ya' ask me it is perfectly normal to kill someone if-

Now, that ain't polite of you to interrupt me. So shut up and I'll start from the beginning, okay? Fuck man, it ain't like you guys are going to put me on death row, we all know what will happen then. HA! Too bad ole' Kyle didn't have that magic trick of mine.

Don't get that look on your face Stanley. Getting so defensive over that, it isn't my fault I nailed him first and kept on nailing him until I rung his pretty little neck. He fucking loved it too; moaning like a whore until the very end. He was a sex fiend, you should've seen how he was banging… Well, I'll take it from the start, heh, again make sure that thing is catching my every word, I ain't repeating it.

So I work at the car shop with Craig, well used to, and it was good pay. Working on vehicles was always my specialty, other than giving the best head in town. ...What? Not gonna call me a whore like you used to do in the old days? You gonna to wait until the recorder is off? Fine by me, I find you adorable when you're pissy. Anyway, the car shop wasn't bad. I supported the house payment and bills and helped Kyle with his college fees. You know how many over-time hours I worked to pay for his books? It was like paying for a whore that wouldn't do shit.

Then one night about a year ago, mind you we had been together for five years at this point, he didn't come home until three o' clock in the morning. It was the weekend so I assumed it was some college party and what not. I was still up trying to figure out how I was going to pay the electric bill, it was fucking killing me man. It was turning my hair grey thinking about shit like that. I thought of giving you-know-what to a couple of people, that'd pay the bill, but I decided against it since I had Kyle. Instead I pawned off some of my soft-core porn mags to kids- fifth graders I think. That wasn't enough either, but you don't need to know what else I did.

Kyle came into the house humming with that glow. The glow guys get after they have a really fucking good orgasm. I pushed it off as nothing, thinking Kyle was to goddamn good for that. That he'd never cheat on me, the poor redneck boy. I'm the idiot that actually supported that whore, falling for those green eyes filled with lies. I really thought he loved me, I really did…

What? No, I'm not crying, fag. I have eyelashes in my eyes. Yes, both of them. Savage little bastards... Back to the story. Kyle never wanted sex anymore. He avoided kissing too, sometimes. He came back home once and I caught him off guard and got a kiss, he had his defense down, he didn't taste like Kyle. He tasted like someone else. Someone dirty. So I started to investigate, ya' know? Searching our place for anything, his car, our car. I found nothing. Then he forgot his cellphone and he got a lot of texts, so I replied to one of them. It asked for Kyle to meet him somewhere. Craig. Fucking Craig.

I said yes of course. I showered and put my boots on and walked over to where Craig wanted to meet Kyle. He found out it was me and wasn't all too happy. He was beyond pissed that I was 'snooping around in his business'. he hollered and shouted, tackled me to the ground. This was a few days ago by the way, that's where I got this shining blackness in my right eye with a broken nose. We had this huge brawl with ended up with him shoving his dick in my mouth and completely raping it. Not the first time something like this had happened, but it had been years since-

Well, that doesn't matter. After he mouth fucked me he gave me a hard kiss. Ya' know what he tasted like? He fucking tasted like Kyle did that night. Dick and smoke. So I grabbed a heavy stone when he turned around, it was bigger then the palm of my hand, and I bashed him in the head with it. About ten times. Then I fucked him. Right up the ass, with no lube. Then I dragged him over to the pond...

Starks pond, did I forget to mention that? I also probably forgot to tell ya' I didn't cum in his ass. I pulled out right before and jerked off the rest of the way, letting the fucker take the cum right in his face. I laughed at him. I fucking loved seeing him squirm like that, so broken and useless. I beat him. I beat Craig Tucker and then I took off his belt and tied it around his arms and tossed him into the pond. He sunk like a rock. I was disappointed to find out that someone happened to find him crawled up on the side of the pond, I thought he had drowned for sure.

Later that night I killed Kyle… How? Well, you already know how don't you. I had him on the bed, about to fuck him. I told him we were going to try something new, something kinky. I slowly slipped the belt around his neck and fucked him, the closer I got to climax the tighter the belt got around his neck. When I came in his ass he still wasn't dead. I jerked him off until he came, gave him a kiss on the lips and stabbed him in the stomach, a couple times, and then you fuckers bursted into my goddamn house and dragged me away, Kyle still gasping for breath, covered in cum and blood staring at me with those fucking beautiful green eyes…

So tell me Stanley, did the paramedics make it in time?