Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS or any of the charcters from it. I do however own the crazy mind that puts these concoctions (what you're about to read) together. I'm not making any money from this. It's all purely for fun. No Copyright Infringement Intended. I'm just a heathily addicted, loyal fan of the show!. =D

This Has To Be a Joke
by NCISFF Special Agent Starr

The screeching sound of loud guitars, banging drums, and screaming voices filled the once peacefully silent room. Being rustled very quickly out of dreamland, Tim opened his eyes to see three big, digital numbers staring back at him, expectantly.

He disliked that having to be startled awake every morning by such an unpleasant tune, but they had learned over time that the simple, bland beeps of a normal alert system were far too easy to become accustomed to, especially, for two very worn out parents.

Of course, one of that pair listened to things like this for pure enjoyment, so it didn't exactly faze her. But that was how it was supposed to go. He would wake up, and then it was his job to make sure she was up, getting the ball rolling on the morning routine before he slipped back into sleeps calling clutches.

Don't be mistaken, it isn't like he expected her to take care of everything in the morning while he got extra snoozes in. If anyone deserved more time to rest it was Abby and there were some mornings when he could tell she needed it, so he would take the initiative lead to getting the day started. Other than that, she was usually, she was usually up and involved in something even if he was also.

Batting his hand around the machine in front of him, he found the off button and pushed it firmly. Immediately, his eyes drifted closed again, but his arm slowly searched for the woman beside him. Hopefully, this would be a day where he could get some extra shut-eye.

"Abs…" he grumbled sleepily, "it's time… wake up… Sean… go back to sleep."

The incoherent reminders were mumbled as he lay on his stomach, one side of his face crushed into the pillow, the limb still waiting to come in contact with something. And when it dipped down into where she was supposed to be, instead of rising up along her body, his vision was no longer black. 'Had she snuck out of bed already?' It wasn't impossible but his protective side needed reassurance that everything was okay before he could relax again.

Turning his head to the opposite side confirmed that he was, indeed, alone on the mattress. All except for a bright purple post-it note located where her dark waves of hair should be.

Plunking it from the pillow, he blinked a few times to clear up the blur of tiredness, and read it.

Good morning sunshine,

I had to go in a bit early to take care of some things. Sorry. I'm taking a taxi, so you have the car. Sarah left me a message saying to bring Sean's swim trunks b/c they're going over to her friend's house today and she has a Slip 'N Slide. So don't forget! I know you'll have everything under control though. Love you. PS: No Dino Bites for breakfast also via Sarah's request.

Love Abby

The first thing that came into his mind is was that this meant he would have to actually really have to get up now. The second was wondering how in the world she'd fit so much on to the tiny paper.

Flipping the comforter off himself, and with a lot of stretching, groaning, popping, and yawning, he was finally standing and walking sluggishly toward the first order of business: the bathroom.

On his way out, something caught his attention as he passed by the mirror. And when he saw what it was he smiled and instantly missed the person responsible of leaving the red stain on his cheek.

"I love you too, Abs." he spoke to his reflection.

Grabbing a tissue from the counter, he wet it, and he removed the print because, well, he had to keep it rated G for the kid.


'We really need a bigger place.'

It's not that they hadn't made absolutely certain their son was given the best of everything possible. He had gladly gotten rid of his selves of books to situate the blue sports car bed (a present from Uncle Tony) adorned with Star Wars themed dressings (picked out by Sean himself, no matter the amount of Uncle Tony's attempts to steer him to a different choice) in the corner.

They were currently looking at houses though, so hopefully very soon their first born (and possible future born) would have abundant room to race around and have as many light saber fights as their hearts desired.

McGee, for one, couldn't wait to remove his collection for the storage unit they had rented. And he knew Abby was anxious to sleep in her coffin again, now that Sean was getting old enough for it not to be scary to see his mother resting in such a thing.

But that would be a while yet. Right now, he needed to worry about remembering swimming attire.

At the side of the bed, he looked down at the two forms lying serenely on the mattress, one with faint lipstick on his forehead and the other with ruffled fur.

"Down boy." He quietly instructed the pooch.

With obedience, Jethro hopped down and trotted his way into their bedroom, jumped up on their bed, and plopped back down, right in Tim's spot.

Rolling his eyes at the spoiled family pet, his attention returned to the remaining roommate, the rustling bringing him from his slumber.

Viewing the small but growing body stretch and give a monstrous yawn, two eyes fluttered open, identical to the sparkling emeralds that should have been beside him when his had done the same.

"Good morning," gently rubbing the evidence of his lover's affection from their offspring's temple.

Mouth pulling up into a sleepy grin, that his partner swore mimicked his exactly, the boy greeted his father. "Hi, Daddy." Then, sitting up and untangling for the mound of covers, he extend his hand.

Easily hoisting the little one to his feet, together they walked out to the kitchen, due to the considerable height difference, one of them more on his tiptoes as they still held hands along the way. Both still in the clothes they'd slept in, blue plaid boxers and white t-shirts, looking like some adorable Hanes commercial.

Again with a simple lift on his arm, the newest McGee was seating in a chair at the table.

"It's just you and me today, buddy." Tim informed as he strolled over to the coffee pot noticing it was empty.

Usually, if Abby was going in early, she would start some for when he got up to help things go a little smoother. But maybe she didn't have time or maybe she just forgot. It's not like he couldn't make his own.

"I know," the child began swing his feet back and forth since they had yet to reach the floor as he set. "Mommy woke me up before she left to wish me a happy April Fool's Day."

'Oh great!' It was going to be a wonderful day at work! He didn't know how he could have missed that this glorious day was approaching once again. Perhaps, because he could still feel remnants of irritation from the last one, all thanks to someone in particular who always chose to take full advantage of this
specific "holiday".

Lost in thoughts of extreme immaturity and resulting annoyance, he hadn't realized that he was overfilling the back of the machine until water started a mini-flood on the countertop.

"Shoot!" Searching quickly for a dishtowel to soak up the mess and ignoring the light laughter coming from behind him.

With that taken care of, he closed the lid and flipped the switch to on.

Turning his attention back to the amused youngster, he finally asked, "So what would you like for breakfast?"

Before even the first syllable sounded he knew exactly what his answer was going to be and it was the exact answer he hoped it wasn't going to be.

"Dino Bites!"

"Umm. . . Mommy said no Dino Bites." Walking over to the cabinet, he offered more options other than the sugary dinosaur pieces. "How about some. . . Corn Flakes?" Removing the box and examining it, he then gave his best salesman smile as he presented it to the hungry customer.

From the expression on his face, he wasn't buying it. "But Mommy isn't here. " Then his face transformed into the pout that Tim had been exposed to many times before yet never seemed to become immune to. "Can I pleeeeease have Dino Bites Daddy?"

His heart draining out every possible negative answer at that point, his logical thinking mind lent a reasonable insight.

'Timothy, Abigail requested that you not let him have those…'

'WRONG! Abs only said that because of Sarah. She doesn't like it when the kid's all hyper. But HE'S A KID! And it is the 1st of April. . ."

'True… True. . . '

"Okay," he decided to go down the sibling rivalry route and pretend like in had nothing to do with the power of the pout, no doubt inherited from his mother. "But it's just our little secret, alright?"

"Deal… thanks Daddy you're the best!" Sean beamed his approval and put the icing on the cake with his compliment.

Not being able to avoid the infection, the grin caught on to his features as well as he swiveled around to retrieve the chosen multicolored box. When he removed it from the shelf, however, disaster ensued.

The bottom flap opened and suddenly all the tiny bits rushed directly to the floor, like a rainbow had just thrown up.

For a second he thought that he was being punished for making the unkind decision. Then, that somehow DiNozzo had snuck in during the night and sabotaged everything. But he didn't have long to ponder all the possibilities as he heard loud popping and hissing coming from the side.

The coffee pot, that he was supposed to be keeping an eye on since he had overfilled it, was now overflowing.

Bound over the mound of spilled food, he immediately unplugged the devise to halt its percolating and began dealing with managing the scolding liquid.

Unbeknownst to him while he was straightening things up, again, Sean hopped down and dug out something from the pile and returned to his seat, soon after, Jethro had also made a swift appearance to scarf down the mishap.

Once things were back at a manageable level, he made himself a cup of coffee and downed it before anything else could go wrong. While refilling another, he was asked a very unexpected question from the other room occupant.

"Can I get a tattoo?"

Cocking an eyebrow, he spun around slowly, spotting the reason for such a random inquiry. Chuckling and shaking he head, he continued to gather things needed to make his son breakfast. Mistaking the back and forth head motion for an abrupt "No!" the boy pushed as to why.

"But Mommy has tattoos." Said like that alone gave him permission to get up from his spot and go get the fake butterfly currently in the middle of his cranium, permanently inked into his skin.

"Mommy has a lot of things you don't." He located the extra, unopened container of the pre-historic treats. "Mommy is also a lot older than you. So, I'll tell you what… when you're . . . 30… then we'll talk about it."

"But then I'll be really old!" The child whined in protest.

Disregarding the fact that he had he had just called his mother and himself old, Tim scrubbed the top of his darkened hair after pouring milk into the bowl in front of him. "Sorry, Charlie," offering him a spoon to begin eating. "But I think you should reconsider getting it someplace other than your forehead."

"Better than where Mommy says yours is." The tot mumbled in rebuttal, then started gobbling up his cereal.

McGee almost missed the chair when he sat back down. He would be having a talk with Abby about just how much their baby was informed certain things.

"Hey, Aunt Sarah says she has some fun activities planned for you today." Bellowed out with exaggerated enthusiasm in attempts to steer the awkward conversation down a different track.

The face in front of him fell. "Do I havta go to Aunt Sarah's today?" He huffed.

This was an odd response. Usually, the little one didn't have any issues with going over to his sisters while the parental unit went off to work. Sure, he was allowed to come into the office sometimes, but most of the time it was more entertaining for him to spend time with relatives.

"I thought you liked visiting your Aunt?" he questioned, taking a bite of his own identical bowl of breakfast.

"Oh, I do. I love Aunt Sarah." Sean proclaimed and then receded in his decree, "It's just that… yesterday she said we were gonna have pizza today. I dunno if you know how Aunt Sarah eats her pizza… but it's kinda really gross."

Holding back a burst of laughter, he shook his head in agreement with his opinion of his sibling's strange choice of pizza toppings. "You want me to pack you something else?" Because, of course, Sarah would think that everyone liked her type of pizza.

Vigorously supporting that idea, they finally finished eating and one went to watch cartoons while the other gathered a decent lunch together for him and then went to get a shower.

Putting Jethro on watch, he was in and out within 5 minutes, completely ready in 10. His speediness a great thing as he looked at the clock, seeing they only had a little more than 30 for him to be at his desk. And he still had to get his offspring cleaned up and take their canine companion out, no need to worry about feeding him due to his multicolored feast earlier.

As if traveled over to his closet, which held not only his wardrobe, Abby's and Sean's as well, he pulled a miniature outfit out of the tightly packed space.

Redirecting himself to what he considered the living room, he heard his son's cry as he rounded the corner.

"Hopscotch. . . Blue wants to play hopscotch!" He bounced with a triumphant grin, spotting his father coming with a fresh set of clothes. Knowing the routine, he started pulling off the ones he had on while Tim according replaced them. When all that remained was the shirt to be tugged over his head, he said, "I didn't even need the third clue on that one, Daddy. I got it in two! I'm going to make a great Special Agent one day."

Smiling despite the gloating, he replied. "Yes, you are. Now, how about you go try to track down your shoes while I get Jethro leashed up?"

The youngster took off running on his assignment, and by the time got the family pooch to the door, he had returned with another bout of success. Well . . . almost, as McGee discovered as they stood outside waiting for the dog to do his business, he noticed that the shoes had indeed been on both feet and Velcro attached, just not on the right feet.

Trying to keep hold of the four-legged creature and switch the footwear of two, wasn't an easy task, no matter how special the agent, but it was done. And soon they were back indoors, in the home stretch.

"Okay. You need to go grab whatever toys you want to bring along and put it in your bag while I grab your lunch and make sure everything's turned off. Think you can handle that?"

Receiving a nod, he looked at the clock, now down to only 10 minutes. Where had the time gone? "Meet back here in 3." With a salute Sean was off again and back again, perhaps a smidge over the allotted time, carrying his green bag full of playthings.

Reaching the door with the brown sacked lunch, Tim put his hand on the door handle while his brain went through the mental checklist of making sure everything was set for them to leave.

"You got everything?" he questioned the mini-him, but was surprised to see him shaking his head.

"Nope, you forgot something Daddy."


"Guess." A smile curved the small boy's facial features.

A frown curved the big boys'. Why did he have to be so much like his mother, especially with the whole guessing game? "Look, buddy, we don't really have time for me guessing. So, why don't you just tell me so we can get going?" Viewing his watch, he was already going to be late, even though he technically had 5 minutes left. But he wasn't going to rush with the child in the car anyway, so he'd better just try to be as less late as possible.

Seeing through the coaxing expression he was given, Sean sighed, then spirited and disappeared into the bedroom yet again.

McGee worriedly hoped he would make it snappy as he could hear the time ticking away. However, with the inherited energy from his partner, he shouldn't have worried too much as he returned in a few seconds. And when Tim saw what he had retrieved, he was grateful someone had remembered because he sure hadn't.

"Thanks bud," He took the swimming trunks that were being extended to him and folded them over his forearm. "I owe you one." Turing to twist the knob, the sun broke into the house as he opened the door.

On his way out, Sean stopped in the middle of the doorframe and looked up behind him.

"Is one enough to get me a tattoo?"

Chuckling and rolling his eyes, "Just get out to the car, would ya?" Gently and playfully swatting the leader's bottom, signaling for him to get a move on, he also stepped outside, closing, and locking the door behind him.


{Okay, so here's the deal. This is only about half of what I had orginally had planned to write for this story. But, I figured I have made you all wait long enough and it also works to stop here. However, if you all would like for me to continue, (warning: there will be a slight twist. :-] ) I will be MORE than willing to add a second chapter to this. IF you all even enjoy this. lol :P Anyway, just wanted to let you lovelies know that I haven't dropped off the face of the planet. I'm really having some confidence issues, though. But I'm going to beat this! }