Dear Diary,

So yesterday Shirley told me I should start a diary. She said "Laverne you should do it for your kids" and I responded with "Why? It just be filled with a bunch of lies." but the more I thought about it the more I think that this might be good for me. Ever since my mother died, I keep all my feelings bottled up and maybe writing in a diary will help me out. At least that's what Shirley always says, ha that girl and her dreams and philosophies. Any way I decided to start a diary so here I go. I am not exactly sure what you write in here. Shirley just writes about how her day went so I guess I'll do that.

Ok so right now Shirley is sitting next to me writing about her date with Carmine last night (hmm I wonder what they did?). Last night while she was off doing whatever she does with Carmine on a Friday night I was stuck at home again. I hung around the Pizza Bowl for a while then I went back home and started to watch some Seahunt.

At about 8:30 Lenny came over. We sat on the couch for a while and just kept each other company. I asked where Squiggy was and he told me he was out with some girl he picked up at a bar. So it was just the two of us hanging out. The weird part was that he was so sweet and nice. Usually he was pulling some dirty joke or something but he wasn't. Without Squiggy Lenny was a completely different person. I never really noticed this but Lenny is actually intelligent. Sure, he flunked a couple classes back in high school but he has the potential to do a lot better.

Lenny was extremely sweet and we had so much fun going down memory lane. I asked him if he remembered when he took me to that fancy ball. I asked him if he still meant all those things he said about me. He said "Of course your still the nicest, classiest girl I know". Then he looked at me with those blue eyes of his and kissed me. It was as simple as that and I got goosebumps. No guy has ever given me goosebumps before and who knew that Lenny would be the one to do that.

Then the awkward part came. Lenny got caught up in his dreams and he asked me to marry him. The fourth proposal from him! I told him no obviously but some part of me wanted to say yes. Our relationship is complicated, one moment I want to be with him and the next he's asking to borrow my sheets. All I know is that in the end Lenny has always been there for me. I know if I did say yes then my pop would freak out, after all he did pay Lenny and Squiggy 10 bucks each to never take me out. And Shirley, she probably wouldn't be to happy either. She thinks Lenny is gross and annoying like Squiggy and she laughs at the thought of me just dreaming about marrying him but she doesn't know him like I do. Things might get awkward between us and everyone else. I know I can go out with anyone I please and I don't have to listen to what other people say but I just can't bring myself to go out with him. Our relationship is almost forbidden. I feel safer admiring him from afar and crushing on him while the world goes on around me. Someday though I will have the courage to go out with the man who gives me goosebumps. Not a pity date but a sincere, romantic date with just the two of us and I will enjoy every minute of it.

~Laverne Kosnowski DeFazio